Redefined
by joyousnerd
Summary: Best friends, a freak snowstorm, and a blackout. Throw in some board games and nice sheets, and who knows what will happen?
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Best friends, a freak snowstorm, and a blackout. Throw in some board games and nice sheets, and who knows what will happen?

I do not own any of these characters, or anything else related to Twilight. I do own a flashlight, some oatmeal, and a very battered Game of Life.

****r~d****

"It's just snow, Bella."

"But it's so beautiful! Come look!"

Edward complied, chuckling at his roommate's excitement. It was pretty, he had to admit, and the view out of Bella's bedroom window was the best in their apartment. It didn't snow very often in Seattle, and when it did, it was usually only a few inches. He had never seen it snow like this. The weather forecasters had predicted flurries — this was definitely more than a flurry.

Edward's phone chirped, indicating a new text message. He read it quickly. "Alice and Jasper aren't coming. She says that the news is reporting big traffic delays because of the snow."

"She probably doesn't want to ruin her shoes."

Edward laughed at the observation, and sent a quick text back to Alice. In a moment his phone chirped again.

"She says Jasper refused to carry her to the car. "

After Bella's giggles subsided, she turned from the window to face her best friend. "So, it looks like we have the night to ourselves. What do you want to do?"

Edward's face broke into an evil smile. "It's my turn to pick the movie."

"Again? Really, you want to watch it again?" Bella rolled her eyes at him.

"Stop whining. You love it. Now, go make popcorn, woman!" She stuck her tongue out at him as she left the room, and he made his way into the living room, intoning "Bring out your dead!"

Two hours later, Edward was still quoting his favorite bits of the movie at Bella as he went to get the vacuum to clean up the remains of the popcorn fight that had started about the time Arthur and his Knights had found the Holy Hand Grenade.

"Next time, I am making you watch the silliest, girliest, romantic-comediest movie in the…" Bella's words trailed off as the apartment went dark, and unnaturally silent.

"Bella? You ok?" Edward entered the room, using the glow of his phone as a makeshift flashlight.

"Yeah, what happened?"

"Blackout, I think," he replied. They made their way to the window and looked out at the street below. The city was darker than either of them had ever seen it — no streetlights, no storefront lights or neon signs or lighted windows from the apartment buildings, no cars, just the little glow of moonlight that made its way through the heavy clouds, reflecting on the snow and covering everything they could see.

"Do we have flashlights or candles?" Edward's question was valid — they hadn't been in the apartment very long, only having graduated from college the previous spring, and generally they bought things as the need arose. Until now, there had never been a need for a flashlight.

"I have a couple of candles that Alice gave me, because she said my room looked like a boy lived in it. And I think I remember seeing a couple in the sideboard that your mom gave us when we moved in. Plus there are always our phones." Bella pulled hers out of her pocket and turned it on, only to have it promptly turn itself back off. "Oops. Battery's dead. I forgot. Okay, we have YOUR phone".

Edward looked concerned. "Maybe we should find those candles. My battery is pretty low, too, and I don't want to be stuck in the snow with no phone. Who knows when the power will come back on?"

They went first to Bella's room to retrieve Alice's gifts, and once those were lit they checked out the drawers of the big wooden sideboard that Esme had insisted they needed, along with most of the other furniture in the apartment, when they had decided to stay in Seattle after graduation and moved into their apartment. Bella was in grad school part time, studying literature and creative writing, and Edward was trying to make his way as a studio musician. There weren't enough opportunities in Forks to make it worthwhile to go back. They weren't alone in their decision — Bella's brother, Jasper, and his wife, Alice, had opted to stay in the city as well. It had actually been their wedding that had precipitated Edward and Bella moving in together.

Bella had met Alice in a coffee shop during the first week of her freshman year. She had been sitting there alone, moping, after her roommate, a blonde hag named Lauren, had kicked her out to hook up with a frat guy. Just as she had been about to cry, a tiny, spiky-haired whirlwind of a girl had sat down at Bella's table and started talking. She managed to cheer Bella up, and they became fast friends, bonding over their terrible living situations. When Alice's roommate, a crazy red-haired girl named Victoria, got kicked out halfway though their first semester, Bella had jumped at the opportunity to leave Lauren and her frat guys behind. They lived all through undergrad, and when Jasper had transferred from Texas A&M, it had been love at first sight between him and Alice. Bella was thrilled that her brother and best friend had gotten together, and she was happy with her current living situation as well. Alice was a great friend, but she was a little intense to live with. Edward, by contrast, was the definition of easy going. They had been best friends since they were old enough to talk, and the transition from friend to housemate had been remarkably smooth despite dire predictions from friends and family.

At the moment, however, her easygoing housemate was getting increasingly agitated. He closed the last drawer with a bang. "Nothing." He ran his hands though his crazy mop of reddish hair, making it stand on end even more than usual.

"Calm down, Edward. We have these three, and they are huge, plus we can always just go to bed. Who needs light to sleep?" Bella's words seemed to calm him a bit.

"Good point. It's early still, but what else are we going to do with no power?"

Bella grabbed a bottle of water from the case in the kitchen, and they went to the bathroom to brush their teeth. Soon they parted ways, each heading to their respective bedrooms.

"Bella, it's liable to get awfully cold — are you going to be ok tonight?" Edward's concern wasn't misplaced — Bella was famous for her cold nature. She slept with an electric blanket all year long and only her concern for their heating bill kept her from keeping the thermostat above 80.

"I'll be fine. Night!" She closed the door behind her.

Edward entered his own room and quickly changed into a t-shirt and pajama pants. He could already feel the chill in the air from the lack of heating. He crawled into his king size bed, also courtesy of Esme, and pulled the duvet up over himself.

He was almost asleep when the click of his doorknob turning brought him back to consciousness. In the faint glow from outside his window, he saw Bella approach the bed. "Everything ok?" he asked, his voice laced with concern. It wasn't like Bella to come into his room at night.

"I'm cold."

Without another word, Edward lifted the bedclothes in invitation. Bella dove beneath them and found his warm body. She snuggled close to him, wrapping her arms around him. "Thanks!"

Edward, bemused, pulled her shivering body closer to his. Of course, he was happy to help her warm up, but this felt…different. He inhaled the fragrance of her hair, and felt his heart rate increase in response. He had never thought of Bella as anything other than a friend, but this was nice. Far nicer, in fact, than anything he could remember.

Her body relaxed against his, and her breathing slowed, which he knew meant she had fallen asleep. He pulled her closer and closed his eyes. He would think about all these new feelings tomorrow.

****r~d****

Bella's first thought upon waking early Saturday morning was of how warm she was; magnificently, deliciously warm. This was not the spotty artificial warmth of an electric blanket, it was more like lying in the sun in Phoenix. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this warm.

Her next realization was that there was a hand on her breast.

Her third, and slightly more disturbing, thought was that she didn't seem to mind. It seemed right, somehow, as if she awoke every morning with an arm around her and a large, pale hand with gently tapering fingers draped over her.

Her fourth thought was that she should probably move the hand, and then possibly see a psychiatrist.

Then she realized she had to pee.

Not wanting to wake Edward, she eased herself from beneath his arm and scooted out of the bed. The air outside the bed was freezing. She scurried quickly to the bathroom and then ran just as quickly back to Edward's bed, burrowing back underneath the covers. She no longer cared if she woke Edward — the desire to return to his warmth overcame any other consideration.

His eyes popped open when she jumped back in the bed, and he looked confused for a moment when she pulled the duvet up over both their heads, enclosing them in a little fabric cave. Then he laughed.

"Shut it, chuckles. It's cold out there!" She scowled.

"Good morning to you, too. What time is it?" Edward kept laughing, prompting Bella to scowl again.

"I don't know. Early. Cold."

Edward reached for his phone on his nightstand, and groaned when he saw the time. "Why the hell am I awake at 6:15 on a Saturday?"

"Well, we went to bed at 10."

"And then you woke me up looking for a place to sleep." Edward gave Bella a mock evil-eye.

"How would you feel if you had found me this morning all frozen? You'd be sorry then," she retorted.

Edward shifted. "Think you can survive for a few minutes alone so I can go take care of my bladder?"

Bella huffed and turned over, facing her back to Edward. "Go. I hope you get frostbite on your…y'know."

Edward shuddered at the thought and slipped out from under the covers. He returned after a few minutes, and Bella laughed as he dove under the blankets just as she had.

"See? Say you're sorry for laughing at me."

"Shut up and c'mere." Edward pulled her back against him, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Go back to sleep."

Bella wanted to obey his imperious command. It was too early to be awake on a Saturday. But she found sleep elusive, partially because of her early bedtime the night before, but mostly due to the emotions that swirled though her at Edward's touch. Her skin was on fire where he touched her, and that was through her thick sweatshirt. She couldn't imagine what it would feel like if he actually touched skin. His warm breath on her neck was giving her goosebumps, and she could smell his toothpaste. She suddenly wished she had thought to brush her teeth as well. Morning breath had never bothered her around Edward, in fact, they both delighted in tormenting the other with bad breath. They delighted in tormenting one another in any way they could manage. Edward had seen her at her very worst; after all, they had been friends since they were toddlers. So why was she suddenly so concerned about her breath?

_Holy crow, I bet my hair is a mess too._

****r~d****

_Has Bella always smelled this good?_

Edward was having a very difficult morning. He reminded himself that she had only gotten in his bed for the very practical purpose of sharing body heat while the electricity was off. He told himself very strictly that this was no different than the times they had shared a bed before, all for equally practical, platonic reasons. He recited the Declaration of Independence in his head. He lectured himself about proper friend behavior, and thought that he would not, for instance, have any desire to snuggle up against Jasper and smell his hair. He pictured Bella slapping him if he gave into the temptation to slide his hand from her waist up her ribcage and…

_No! No no no!_

He was pretty sure the universe was laughing its ass off at him. His body certainly was. Sleep, as much as he wanted it, did not seem to be on the menu at the moment. If her breathing was anything to judge by, Bella was still awake as well.

"Bella, you still awake?" he whispered, not wanting to wake her on the chance she had actually dozed off.

"Yes," came her whispered response.

"Breakfast?"

"Sure."

Bella started to remove the blanket, but Edward was up faster. "I'll get something — you stay here and keep warm." _Plus it will give me a few minutes to get myself under control._

Edward pulled on his slippers and put on a sweatshirt over the t-shirt he had slept in, shivering as the cold fabric came into contact with his skin. He went into the kitchen and perused the contents of their cabinets, deciding oatmeal was their best option. He said a quick prayer of thanks for the big old gas stove in the kitchen that worked with or without electricity. Esme had wanted to replace it, calling it a deathtrap, but Edward and Bella had drawn the line at replacing appliances in a rental.

When he returned to his bedroom, two bowls in hand, he was much calmer. His inner voice had very sternly told him that he and Bella were just friends, best friends, and that the feelings he was experiencing were just due to the stress of the blackout and her extended physical proximity. He was a man, after all. He would react this way to any woman. Never mind that he hadn't actually reacted this strongly to anyone before, that was irrelevant. The important thing was to remember that they were friends.

All of that flew right out of the window into the snow below when he saw her.

She was sitting up against the headboard, his headboard, wearing a hoodie, his hoodie, wrapped in a blanket and reading a book she had taken from his bookcase. She had apparently brushed her hair in his absence, and it fell in soft waves around her face. In the early morning light reflecting off the snow outside, she reminded Edward of a renaissance painting. She looked up at his entrance, and smiled at the bowl he silently held out to her.

_I am so screwed._

****r~d****

_Has Edward always been so…beautiful?_

As she took the proffered bowl, Bella studied her best friend as if she hadn't spent most of the past 20 years with him. His hair, which had earned him the hated nickname "copper top" for years, was rumpled and standing on end. He was tall and slim, but not skinny like he had been as a teenager. He had filled out without her really noticing. His legs, encased in striped flannel pants, were long without making him look like a scarecrow.

They sat in silence as they ate their breakfast. Normally silences between them were as comfortable as words — after so many years, they didn't feel the need to chatter constantly. This morning though, the silence was as thick as the oatmeal in her bowl. It made Bella nervous. Could he tell what she was thinking? He always read her so well.

She jumped at the clatter as he dropped his spoon into his empty bowl.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Finished?"

She handed over the bowl with a quiet thanks, not meeting his eyes.

He left the room to take the bowls into the kitchen and returned carrying a stack of board games. He dropped them on the bed in front of Bella.

"I looked outside and it looks like we are pretty well snowed in. Who needs electricity when you have Monopoly?"

Bella looked through the stack — there was Monopoly, of course, and some other classics — Risk, Sorry!, a very battered Game of Life, Chinese checkers, a chess set, and, at the bottom, Star Wars Trivial Pursuit.

Bella looked up at Edward and smirked. "You are such a nerd."

He smirked back at her. "Takes one to know one, baby. Do we need to discuss Buffy the Vampire Slayer? I seem to remember a lot of weekends playing that game…"

Bella blushed. "At least I didn't bring it with me when I moved out."

"Doesn't matter. You are just as nerdy as I am. Besides, you love nerdy me."

She sighed. "Okay, you win, I do."

****r~d****

Initially, playing the games proved a bit troublesome. The temperature in the apartment kept dropping, and playing games wrapped in blankets and scarves and gloves was just as difficult as it looked. Then Edward had a brilliant idea. He stood up and unceremoniously picked Bella up and dumped her off the bed. Ignoring her indignant shriek, he grabbed the games, pulled back the duvet and sheet, placing the games on the sheet underneath. Then he picked her up from the floor and dropped her back on the bed, skillfully dodging her little fists as she tried to pummel him. Finally, he plopped back down on the bed and pulled the sheet and duvet over him, creating a little tent on the bed with himself as the tent pole.

"Have you lost your mind?" She looked at him as if she expected him to start making animal noises or drooling.

"Just wait." Edward smirked as he set up the Monopoly board.

By the time Bella had Pacific and Pennsylvania Avenue, her nose no longer felt numb, and when Edward bought his fourth railroad, it was warm enough in their little shelter that she took off her gloves and scarf. When the game ended with Bella laughing as Edward failed to pay the rent on one of her many hotels, she appeared to have entirely forgotten about the cold.

"What's next? Life? Trivial Pursuit?" Edward raised his eyebrows in question.

"Lunch." With perfect timing, Bella's stomach growled loudly.

"What do you want?" Edward moved to get off the bed, but she stopped him.

"I'll get it this time. You stay here and hold up the tent." She wrapped her scarf back around her neck, grabbed her gloves, and, flashing a smile back at him, ducked under the duvet out into the bedroom.

Edward ducked out as well, and looked around his bedroom, considering. His tall dresser might be just right. He pulled it over and pushed it to the side of the bed. Then he grabbed his skis out of the closet, a couple of sets of sheets, and a roll of duct tape out of a drawer. After a few minutes and only minimal swearing, he had erected the most pitiful little lean-to ever made from one thousand thread count Egyptian cotton sheets.

_Esme is gonna kill me if she ever finds out I used duct tape on the sheets she bought me._

He crawled in to start warming up the inside before Bella returned.

She entered a few minutes later carrying a tray with two bowls of soup and a sleeve of crackers. She stopped short when she passed the doorway.

"Um, Edward?"

He stuck his head out and grinned at her. "Like it?"

****r~d****

Edward's head poking out from under the sheets of his little tent was, quite possibly, the cutest thing Bella had ever seen. His hair was even wilder than usual, and he looked exactly like the little boy she remembered.

"You built a fort!" She giggled at the sudden mental image of Edward in the cowboy outfit he had loved when he was eight.

Edward's thoughts were apparently moving in the same direction, as he tipped an imaginary hat in her direction and drawled, "You're welcome t' come on in, ma'am. Thanks for the victuals, much obliged." He winked at her.

Bella carefully handed him the tray and crawled in next to him. The little shelter extended over about half the bed, and was barely high enough to allow Edward to sit up. They sat and ate their soup while Edward grinned like a fool at his accomplishment. As much as she was amused by his building skills, she had to admit it was warmer in the little space than it was out in the apartment. She had removed her scarf and gloves and the coat she had layered over her hoodie and was almost comfortable.

After they finished their meal, Edward set the tray and their dishes on the floor beside the bed, and Bella lay back against his pillows. He lay down as well, and they stayed that way for a few minutes in silence, looking up at the pale blue ceiling of their little haven. She turned to face him, and he did likewise.

"Mmmm…I'm warm and full." –she yawned– "and sleepy. Hand me a blanket, will you?"

A bit earlier, Edward had collected every extra blanket in the house and piled them on the bed. He grabbed her favorite, a thick cashmere throw in patterns of fading blue, and laid it over her, tucking her in gently. She smiled in thanks and curled up under it, closing her eyes.

She awoke some time later to find Edward asleep next to her with the duvet pulled up over both of them. They had moved closer to one another in sleep, and his face was only inches from hers. She watched him sleep for a few minutes, admiring his long eyelashes resting on his cheeks and the way his lips relaxed in sleep. She reached over and gently brushed away a lock of hair falling across his forehead. At her touch, his eyes fluttered open.

"Hi." She smiled at his unfocused expression.

He blinked and smiled back. "Hi"

He rolled to his back and stretched, being careful not to disturb the walls of the tent. As he came to full wakefulness, she spoke softly.

"Edward?"

"Mmmm?" He rolled to face her and cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Um…thanks for everything. I am so glad you're here. I can't imagine what I would do if I had to deal with this alone."

"Aw, shucks, honey, a fort's not a fort without a cowgirl to share it with."

She blushed a little, and they lay like that for a moment, looking at one another, heads less than a foot apart on the pillows. Bella wasn't sure what to think of the look in Edward's eyes. She thought she knew all his moods, but this was new. Before the moment got awkward, Edward's expression changed to one of wicked delight.

"Besides, without you here, who would I tickle?" Then he attacked.

Edward held her down with one strong arm while the other found and tortured every spot he knew was most ticklish. Bella's squeals and shrieks filled the small space, and she desperately tried to escape. Suddenly the small structure jerked and one ski fell to the floor as they heard the duct tape pulling away from the fabric and half of the sheet fell down on them.

Edward stopped and looked down at Bella, and then down at her leg that had been frantically kicking at him and had instead managed to kick the ski tent post.

"Oops." She burst into a fit of giggles, and he joined her. They lay together, Edward half sprawled across her, and laughed until tears were running down Bella's face. She took deep breaths to calm herself down, and then she saw it again. That look on Edward's face, the one that made her feel as an entire flock of butterflies had moved into her midsection. Except this time his face was just inches from her and getting closer.

She extricated herself from underneath him, gasped out "bathroom", and fled.

****r~d****

"Dammit!"

Edward wasn't quite sure which he was swearing at — the ski that had fallen and was now staunchly refusing to stay where he wanted it, or himself. After the ski fell for the fourth time, he gave up.

_Way to go, nimrod._

She had been scared, he was sure of it, and who could blame her? One second they were in normal Edward-Bella-BFF mode and the next, he was about to kiss her. He passionately wished to be able to kick his own ass.

Edward had thought about love, of course; he had dated in high school and college. He had even had a few girlfriends, but usually halfway through the date he would find himself wandering what Bella was up to, or thinking of some smart-ass comment he wanted to make to her. Sometimes he would go ahead and make the comment to his date, but more often than not she wouldn't get the joke. He didn't have fun with those girls like he did with Bella, they didn't laugh like she did or call him on his pretense. The first thing he did after every date was to call Bella. They would talk over the date, laugh at Edward's pent-up comments, and make plans. In all that time, Edward had never actually considered dating Bella, even though they had gone together to a million events.

Today, everything had changed. All day he had been feeling something different, and then there had been that moment while they lay under the little tent. Bella had thanked him for being there, and he had made some asinine quip back, and she had looked into his face and blushed. In that second, watching the color flood her face, Edward had seen his whole future unfold before him. He had imagined himself waking up next to her every day for the next 70 years. He had seen her walking towards him in a white silk dress with lilies in her hair. He had pictured her body swollen with their child, and had watched her snuggling a little girl with deep brown eyes and copper-colored curls. He saw the graduation pictures and watched her bake cookies with their grandchildren. He had lived a whole life in that moment, and now he wanted more than anything for that life to come true. He wanted it to start right now.

She hadn't been privy to those visions though, and if her reaction was any indication, she definitely wasn't thinking in that direction. Edward decided he needed a plan. He wouldn't rush anything, he wouldn't say anything right away — they would continue their friendship, and he would try (and hope and pray) to let it evolve naturally into something more.

Satisfied with his decision, and a little concerned at how long she had been gone, Edward ventured into the living room to find Bella on the sofa with her hood up and her arms and legs pulled inside her sweatshirt.

He quickly got a blanket from his room and returned to the sofa, draping it around her and sitting next to her, wrapping his arms around her shivering body.

"Sweetheart, you're freezing! Why didn't you come back where it's warm…well, warmer than this, anyway."

She was silent for a long moment, then…

"Edward, what the hell just happened in there?"

"What do you mean?"

She gave him the look she usually reserved for Alice when she insisted she needed more shoes. "You know what."

Edward sighed. _So much for not saying anything and taking it slow_.

****r~d****

Bella felt completely lost, as if she had been kidnapped and dropped in a foreign country. Edward had tried to kiss her, she was sure of it. What else could that moment have been? First there had been that look he kept giving her, and then he tried to kiss her! This was all wrong. Edward was her friend. Friends didn't kiss friends like that.

She desperately wanted to know what was going on, even though her stomach hurt at the thought. She had tried to return to his room, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't face him. So instead she sat on the sofa, trying desperately to stay warm.

_Maybe I shouldn't say anything. I should just ignore it._ The thought didn't quell the sick feeling in her belly.

She hadn't heard him coming, and had been startled out of her thoughts when he dropped a blanket over her shoulders and slid his arms around her. She had a sudden impulse to turn into his body and curl up in his embrace, but she held herself rigid. She had to know what was happening, so she asked the question.

Edward looked terrified. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before he managed to speak.

"I, um. Bella, I think…Bella, over the past day…Oh, damn, how do I say this?" He took a deep breath. "Bella, I want us to be more than friends. I want us to be together. A couple."

****r~d****

Once again, Edward desperately wished for the ability to kick himself. _Could I have possibly made that any more awkward? _He waited for her answer, feeling like he was lying on hot coals. His heart sank at her words.

"Can't we just…you're my best friend, Edward. Can't things just stay the way they were?" Bella's voice was quavering.

Edward mustered his courage and stumbled over the words he suspected might destroy his heart forever. "Bella, now that I…I can't…I can't just go back to being friends. I wish I could, but I can't. Either you feel the same, or you don't. I want to be with you. I want to be everything with you. If you don't want that…" Edward stubbornly swallowed back sudden tears. "Bella, do you want to be with me or not?"

"I…I don't know." Giving him one last pained look, she went into her room and shut the door.

****r~d****

As soon as the door clicked gently closed behind her, Bella slid down it into the floor. Sobs overwhelmed her so quickly she nearly choked. She sat there, crying as if her life was ending. The room was frigid, but she hardly noticed it past the haze of emotions rolling through her.

_Why did he do it? The stupid blockhead has ruined everything! He's taken away my best friend!_ Her brain screamed in fury and grief. _How could he do this to me?_

Slowly, calm began to creep over her, and the storm of crying passed.

_What are you so afraid of?_ a tiny voice in her head asked.

_I am not afraid of anything. I don't feel that way about him_, she angrily told the voice.

_Liar._

_Okay, so maybe I am a little afraid._

_A little?_

Bella forced herself to think about Edward. She considered their long history together. She pictured his crazy copper hair, his long beautiful fingers, and his grass green eyes. She considered the past 24 hours and how right it had felt to wake up next to him, even with his hand across her chest. The memory of his face popping out of his little tent filled her mind. He built me a house out of sheets! she thought, with a hiccupy laugh.

Then she tried to imagine a future without him. After only a moment she had dissolved into tears again.

_Oh god, I am so stupid._

Just then, with a hushed roar, the electricity came back on.

****r~d****

Edward was at a complete loss. In less than 24 hours he had found everything he ever wanted, and in the process had lost the best thing in his life. He absently wondered if he could afford the rent somewhere on his own — he definitely couldn't stay here by himself if she left, and he could not imagine living with some random person. He slowly took apart the remains of their makeshift little tent, not really caring if the duct tape wound up damaging anything. He could still smell her on the sheets. He sat down on the edge of the bed as his head dropped into his hands in complete dejection.

A few minutes later his head jerked up at the soft knock on his door. "Come in."

Bella entered hesitantly, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. Her face bore the unmistakable signs of tears, and Edward wanted nothing more than to go sweep her in his arms and hold her forever, but he knew he had to let her come to him.

She approached him but didn't look at him directly. She stared down at her feet, instead.

"You know, Edward, the heat was off for a long time. It's going to take a while for the apartment to warm up again."

Edward stood and gently laid his hands on her shoulders. "Mmm-hmm."

"And an electric blanket really is a shameful waste of energy." She reached up to play with the strings on his hoodie.

"Mmm-hmm." He slid his hands down to her waist.

"And last night was the best sleep I have had in ages…"

"Mmm-hmm." He leaned his forehead against hers.

"So, I was thinking, that maybe I should stay with you again tonight. You know, to save on electricity." She looked up at him, hopeful apology in her dark eyes.

"I concur." With that, he pulled her over to the bed, and they lay down, facing one another, his arms encircling her small body and pulling it tight against him. Her arm found its way across his abdomen and she laid her head on his chest. She sighed contentedly.

"And, you know, you've been saying that you wanted to move your piano here, and I was thinking we could put it in my room…" she trailed off as Edward rolled her over and gently pressed a finger to her mouth, and then slowly, softly, replaced the finger with his lips.

A few long moments later he looked down at her, down at the girl he had known forever but never really seen, the girl he hoped would fill the rest of his life. He knew they had a lot to talk about, but for now there was only one thing he wanted to say. "I love you, Bella."

She met his gaze, a slow smile spreading across her beautiful face and tears filling her eyes. "I love you, too.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own anything Twilight. It all belongs to the magnificent Stephenie Meyer.

"Where are you headed?" Edward tried not to sound too disappointed when Bella came into the living room on Friday night, dressed to go out, with her purse and keys in her hand.

Bella blushed and mumbled something that sounded vaguely like "half an ate".

"What?"

Bella took a deep breath and looked at Edward briefly, then her gaze fell to the floor. "I have a date."

It took Edward a few seconds to process her words, and it was a few seconds more before he was able to speak.

"Wait. You have a _what_?" They hadn't made any definite plans, but he had been hoping for a little quality time on the couch tonight, maybe snuggled under her favorite blanket, half-watching a movie and paying much more attention to each other than whatever was happening on-screen. Even though he had known those plans might not come to fruition, he definitely hadn't been expecting this.

Bella bit her lip. "A date." She paused, and then sighed. "Please don't be mad."

Edward was dumbfounded. He looked at her blankly, unsure what to say.

She fumbled forward with an explanation. "It's with Jacob. We made the plans weeks ago, before we... well, before last weekend, and he bought tickets to this concert, and I didn't want to just bail on him, and I wasn't sure..." she trailed off, twisting her fingers together.

Edward felt like he was being torn in pieces. Part of him, the rational, mature, adult part of him, knew he had no right to be upset. The plans had been made a long time ago, and despite what had happened between them the previous weekend during the snowstorm, despite the undeniable change in their relationship that had made itself felt all week, they hadn't actually talked about dating, or any of it really. They had just kissed and cuddled and smiled and kissed some more. The rational part of Edward's brain understood that there was no concrete reason Bella shouldn't go out.

He had spent all day thinking about how wonderful it would be to spend the evening with her, with the whole weekend ahead of them. During the hours he had spent that day not playing the piano while the artist he was supposed to be playing with argued with the sound technician and his producer, he had imagined out the whole weekend. On the drive home, sitting in Friday afternoon Seattle traffic, he had thought about how warm she was in his arms and how much he wanted to hear her voice. Part of him wanted to cry with disappointment to find out all those plans weren't coming to pass.

The rest of him wanted to lock Bella in her room while he went and beat Jacob Black senseless with a big wooden stick. A caveman-style club would do nicely.

Bella gave him another look, then went and grabbed a coat off the rack near the door. _His_ coat.

_What on earth is she doing?_

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Borrowing your coat?" Bella looked hopeful and sheepish.

"No. You are not. What if I need it?"

Bella looked at him as if he were crazy. "Edward, you're in your pajamas."

Dammit.

"So what? It's mine. Wear your own damn coat." Edward's voice was considerably louder and more hostile than normal.

"Edward, please don't be mad, I'm sorry, but I " - Bella's words were cut short when Edward interrupted.

"Who's mad? Go out, don't go out, do whatever the hell you want. I don't give a damn what you do." Edward's voice wasn't raised anymore, instead it was cold. He didn't even bother to turn to look at her.

Bella looked stricken at his words and his tone, her mouth contorted, and then her face hardened.

"Fine. I will." She looked at the floor for a moment, then faced Edward again, and very deliberately dropped his coat on the floor. "In fact, I don't need a coat, Jacob always keeps me warm. Have fun with the couch." Then she turned and flounced out the door, slamming it behind her. She didn't see Edward's face tighten at her words.

****r~d****

Bella's bravado lasted until she was out of the hallway. As soon as she reached the stairs, she sat down and buried her face in her hands.

_What just happened?_

She had suspected Edward would not be too happy about her plans for the evening; in fact, she had considered leaving before he got home so she would not have to deal with it. She had rejected that plan as cowardly, and besides, she wanted to see him, even if it was just for a few minutes. All day she had alternated between thinking about him and trying to think of a way out of her plans with Jacob. But she had told the truth; Jacob had bought tickets to this show weeks ago. It was the traveling company of Wicked, and she had wanted to see it for ages. He had surprised her with the tickets, calling them an early birthday present, but she suspected it was another attempt to win her affections.

Bella had been friends with Jacob for years, and he had pursued her on and off for most of that time. Much to his chagrin, beyond a few kisses here and there, there had never been anything between them. On occasion, she had considered letting their relationship progress, the lonely part of her heart figuring that being with someone who wanted you was better than being alone, even if you didn't want them back. Usually it only took one date to change her mind. Jacob was fun, and sweet, and brutally hot, but anytime things started to go in a romantic direction, she was immensely uncomfortable.

Edward knew all of this, of course. Over the years she had talked to him about it until she was sure he never wanted to hear the words Jacob Black again. He knew she wasn't interested in him. So why the big freak out tonight?

_I wish he had asked me not to go. I wish he had asked me to stay home with him. Heck, I wish he had thrown me over his shoulder and locked me in my room, then gone and pummeled Jacob with a club._ Bella chuckled at the vision of caveman-Edward in her head.

Her chuckles died quickly though as she remembered the real Edward she had just left, and her words to him. _I really wish I hadn't said that thing about Jacob keeping me warm._ Bella groaned. That had not been her best moment. She had taken Edward's jacket on impulse. His was warmer, and besides, wearing it meant she would smell like him all night. If she couldn't be with him, at least she could be reminded of him. She had been shocked at how angry he had gotten; she wore his clothes all the time, and had since forever. She couldn't remember the last time she had even asked permission. His objection had taken her off guard, and it had hurt. So she had snapped back with the first hurtful thing that popped into her head, and now Edward was probably imagining her somewhere cuddled up with Jacob, when all she really wanted was to be cuddled up with him.

She had been planning to talk to Jacob tonight after the play, to tell him about her and Edward and let him know, once and for all, that nothing could ever happen between them.

_But what am I going to tell him?_ She wondered. _That Edward and I kissed? That he was super sweet all week and let me have the last spring roll on Wednesday? That he said he loved me one time and hasn't said it again since? None of that is anything Jacob hasn't done._

Suddenly it all seemed so silly. So what if he had given her the last spring roll? So what if he had told her he loved her, and kissed her until she was breathless, and held her in his arms all night for the second night in a row? So what if he had told her that her early-morning haystack hair was beautiful and made her pancakes on Sunday morning?

_So what if he built me a fort?_

He hadn't said anything about the changes in their relationship. All week he had been attentive, and gentle, and had kissed her goodnight and good morning and welcome home and happy random time of day, but they hadn't talked about anything. Bella had been so sure that he felt the same way she did, but now she was uncertain. Maybe he didn't really care about her like she did about him. Maybe he just wanted to add some benefits to their friendship.

I am not a benefits kind of girl. Surely he knows that.

Bella bit her lip and considered her options. More than anything she wanted to go back inside, throw herself into Edward's arms and make the whole incident disappear. But she wasn't sure if that's what he wanted, and she was afraid of what she would find on the other side of the apartment door.

_What if he doesn't want me?_

Just as tears filled her eyes at the thought, she heard the sound of The Beach Boys' Ten Little Indians emanating from her phone. Jacob was a Native American, and he had chosen the ring tone himself. He thought it was hilarious.

She located the phone and saw she had a new text message. _Everything ok? I've been here for 10 minutes. Do you want me to come up?_

Bella had told Jacob earlier she would meet him in the parking lot. She definitely didn't want him coming up now. She quickly replied.

No, I am on my way. Sorry.

She pulled a mirror out of her bag and checked to see if her distress was evident on her face. Her eyes were a little swollen, and her nose was redder than normal, but it wasn't too bad. _Maybe he won't notice._

****r~d****

The minute the door closed behind Bella, Edward wanted her to come back. He couldn't believe how things could go from zero to wretched in two minutes or less.

I am so stupid.

He got up and went to the door, ready to go get her. Then he hesitated.

_What if she doesn't want to come back?_

He leaned his head against the door and contemplated. The past 6 days had been the most blissful he could remember. Waking up next to her on Sunday, her warm little body snuggled against his, her hair scattered crazily over his pillow, had been the highest, happiest moment of his whole life to that point. He had lay there and gazed at her while she slept, all the time making grand plans. He wanted to take her to Paris and kiss her on top of the Eiffel Tower. He wanted to write a symphony about her. He wanted to spend a whole day just brushing her hair and enveloping himself in its scent. He wanted to wake up with her every day for the next 100 years. He wanted to rub her pregnant belly and hear her yell at him while she labored with their child.

It took every bit of self-restraint he had not to propose the minute she opened her eyes and looked into his.

On Monday, when he had walked in to find her watching TV, and she looked up and gave him the most beautiful smile in the world, the one he had already begun to think of as his smile, he had pulled her up and into his arms, into a kiss that took his breath away. Once again, it was all he could do not to drop down on one knee. He wanted to come home to that smile every day for the rest of forever.

He could barely stay away from her, even long enough to go to work. He was afraid to talk too much for fear that he would spill out everything he was feeling and scare her off. Too soon, too soon had been his mantra for the week.

Now he was afraid it was all gone.

He banged his head against the door. _Why the hell did I say that? Why did I pick a fight over a stupid coat?_

_Why didn't I just ask her not to go?_

_Because I was scared, that's why. And because it's Jacob effing Black. _

Edward wasn't sure why, but he had never liked Jacob. There was no concrete reason, Jacob had always been perfectly friendly to him, and he treated Bella like gold. He knew that Edward and Bella were best friends, and had even had a big-brother kind of conversation with Edward about his intentions, assuring Edward that he really cared about her and that he would never knowingly do anything to hurt her. There was just something about him that rubbed Edward the wrong way. He had listened to Bella talk about him for years, and he had watched her change her mind a thousand times about whether or not she wanted to date him. Bella had not dated much, and the only man in her life who seemed to have any staying power, besides himself of course, was Jacob.

_Have I been jealous this whole time? _

Edward stood there, his head leaned against the door, until he lost track of time. After what seemed like hours, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped in a familiar number, while he walked toward his bedroom to change his clothes.

"Jasper? It's Edward. Wanna go get a beer?"

****r~d****

Bella realized as soon as she got in his car that it was insane to think Jacob wouldn't notice that something was wrong.

"Hey Bells...Bella, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. Let's go, we don't want to be late."

Jacob held his tongue, but he looked at her for a long moment before backing the car out the parking space and pulling out of the parking lot. They were silent for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

A few more minutes of silence, then, "How 'bout now?"

"No."

They were quiet until he pulled the car into the parking lot of the theatre. Then he asked, "Wanna punch me?"

"What?" Bella looked at him, incredulous.

"Wanna punch me? It might make you feel better. I can take it. C'mon, do it!" Jacob raised his chin and pointed to the side of his face, indicating where she should hit him.

Bella couldn't help it, she laughed. He looked so earnest, sitting there with his chin pointed toward her. She knew he meant it, if she wanted to hit him he would let her. She also knew he would barely feel it. She shook her head at him.

"Thanks for the offer, but I would hate to hurt my hand."

"Well, the offer is good for the rest of the night, ok?" Jacob's dark eyes sparkled at her.

She nodded. He got out of the car and came around to open her door. After pulling her out of the car, he wrapped his big arms around her, engulfing her body in his huge one.

"That's my girl. Let's go see what the big deal is about this witch musical."

He took her hand and they walked through the parking lot, while Jacob sang some silly song he made up about dancing witches. Occasionally he would stop and do a little dance move, or do jazz hands in her face. Bella couldn't help but laugh at his antics, and her mood lifted.

For the next few hours Bella let herself be swept away by the music and the story. She cried and laughed and rejoiced along with the residents of Oz, and when the house lights came up she sighed happily and looked over at Jacob.

"Thank you so much for this. That was perfect."

"I'm so glad." He reached for her hand again and led her out of the theatre and to his car. "Dinner?"

"Sure."

He drove to her favorite pizza place, and they were quickly seated across from one another in a booth. After they placed their order, he looked very seriously across the table at her. "Do you want to talk about it now?"

"Not really."

"Okay, I'll talk. But we aren't leaving here until you tell me what is wrong. Don't bother denying it, something is wrong."

"Alright"

"Bella, I have to tell you something. I hope it doesn't upset you more, but I can't not tell you." Jacob paused and took a breath. "I've met someone. Her name's Ren. Well, her real name is a lot longer, it's Swedish or something, but she goes by Ren. I can't wait for you to meet her, Bells. She's great." He paused and his voice filled with concern when he saw Bella's face. "Bells, are you ok? I didn't want to hurt you, but you said you wanted us to just be friends, and..." he trailed off as tears began to run down her face.

"N-no, it's not that. I am happy for you. It's just..." she sniffled and wiped her tears with a napkin.

"Bella, please talk to me. Please tell me what's wrong."

"It's Edward. Things have changed."

Jacob clenched his jaw. "What did he do? Do I need to beat him up? I will, just say the word."

Bella laughed through her tears at Jacob's fierce expression. "No, nothing like that."

"What then?"

Bella started to talk. She talked and talked. Everything spilled out, the weekend with no power, how things had changed between her and Edward in those hours in the cold, the wonderful weekend that had just passed, and the fight just before she left. She confessed her fears about what Edward was thinking, and frustration at being so unsure of where their relationship stood. She even told him about wanting to wear Edward's coat so she could smell him all night. When she finally stopped talking, Jacob looked her speculatively across the remains of their pizza.

"You love him, don't you? I always thought this would happen."

Bella was surprised. "You did? Why?"

"Bella, the guy has been crazy about you for years. He always looks at me like he wants to drag me into an alley and bludgeon me. Who knows, maybe he didn't even realize it, but it's true."

"So what do I do now? He was so mad."

"You have to talk to him Bella. You can talk to me all you want, but only Edward knows what he is thinking. I gotta say though - if he doesn't want you... well, he must be out of his mind."

Bella offered him a wavery smile. "Thanks, Jacob."

Jacob stood, throwing down a few bills to cover their meal. "Come on, I am taking you home. You love him, you need to work this out."

****r~d****

Edward walked into the little bar that was two blocks from his apartment where he had agreed to meet Jasper. He looked around for the familiar blond curls, and found them seated at a table near the back. He sat down across from his closest male friend. Jasper spoke immediately.

"I am so sorry. She insisted."

Edward was confused for a moment, until he saw a familiar tiny woman with dark spiky hair bouncing across the room towards their table.

"Really? You couldn't leave her at home?"

"I told you, she insisted. She said she 'had a feeling' she would need to be here," Jasper explained.

Edward sighed, resigning himself to Alice's presence. He loved Alice, it was impossible not to, but she was definitely a meddler.

Alice seated herself next to Jasper, setting the beers she was carrying on the table. "We went ahead and got one for you Edward," she said with a smile. "Yuengling, right?"

Edward nodded.

"So, what's up?" Alice asked.

Edward hesitated. To his knowledge, no one else knew yet about the change in his and Bella's friendship. He hadn't told anyone, and he didn't think she had. Would it be violating her trust to confide in Alice and Jasper?

Alice smiled again as Edward wrestled with what to say. "It's Bella, isn't it?"

Edward's eyes widened in surprise. "How did you know?"

Jasper chuckled darkly. "She always knows."

Alice shot Jasper her best death glare, but the effect was somewhat muted by the fact that she looked slightly less intimidating than a baby squirrel. "We had lunch on Wednesday. She didn't say anything, but she was practically glowing. Anytime your name came up, she blushed like crazy. It was kind of obvious." She smirked at Edward. "So, spill."

Edward took a deep breath. It was useless to try and resist Alice, she always got her way. He debated how much detail to reveal.

"Things have changed." Edward looked at Alice's eager, listening face, and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Duh. More please."

Edward started to talk, and surprised himself with how much he had to say. He had planned to stick to the basics and ask for some advice, but instead he found himself telling the whole story; the blackout, keeping Bella warm in the resulting cold, even the vision he had experienced of their future together. He told them about how wrenching it had been for Bella to reject him, even for a few minutes. He spoke about how conflicted he had been since then, about how desperately he wanted everything to work out between them, and how he didn't want to scare her off. Then he told them about the events of that evening, including his irrational anger and the way he had lashed out at Bella. He lost track of how long he had been talking. When he was finally quiet, he faced his friends. Alice's expression was one of barely repressed glee; Jasper's was considerably less happy.

"You yelled at my sister? You swore at her?" Jasper's fists clenched and unclench at his sides. "I oughtta kick your ass."

_Crap._ Edward had momentarily forgotten that even though Jasper was one of his best friends, he was above all Bella's big brother.

Fortunately, Alice intervened before Jasper could ask Edward to step outside. "Calm down honey. Couples fight. Or do you think Emmett should come 'kick your ass'" - Alice made little finger quotes around her words- "every time you and I have an argument?" She raised her perfectly arched eyebrows at him.

Edward barely suppressed a chuckled at Jasper's expression as he contemplated his wife's question. Alice's brother Emmett - her little brother, no less - was as huge as Alice was tiny.

"I guess not." Jasper admitted, relaxing his fists.

"Good. Besides, I can kick your ass all by myself, should it need kicking." Alice grinned at Jasper before turning back to Edward. "Now that Conan has put his club away...I have some questions."

Edward assented. "Go ahead. Ask."

"First of all, had you actually said anything to Bella about wanted to spend time with her tonight?"

"No, but..." Edward trailed off as Alice raised her hand.

"No buts, just yes or no. Did Bella seem excited about her date tonight?"

Edward thought back to their earlier conversation. Bella had seemed a little hesitant. "Not really."

"Have you talked about dating other people?"

"No."

"Have you talked about dating each other? Have you even been on a date yet?"

Edward flushed. "No."

Alice looked at him ruefully. "Here's the big one - did you ask her not to go tonight?"

"No." Edward sighed. "I'm really stupid, aren't I?"

Alice laughed. "No, you aren't stupid...ok, maybe a little." She smirked at him. "You just did too much assuming, and you over-reacted. We're all really shocked at that last part," she deadpanned.

Edward rolled his eyes at her comment. "Okay, I get it. Now what, oh great and wise relationship guru Alice?"

Alice turned to Jasper. "Honey, he found out about your name for me!"

Jasper kissed her on the cheek before turning to Edward with a smirk. "You forgot 'your majesty', Edward, " he said, his laughing eyes in contrast to his serious tone.

Edward chuckled. "My mistake. Your majesty, oh great and wise relationship queen Alice, what should I do now?"

Alice looked back and forth between her husband and her friend, scowling a little at their teasing, before she answered his question. "Apologize. Then, you talk."

"Ice cream seems to help too," Jasper suggested.

****r~d****

The drive back with Jacob was quiet. Bella was contemplative, and a little unsure, despite Jacob's reassurances. She could not get the memory of Edward's angry voice out of her head. I don't give a damn what you do.

How did this happen? Less than a week ago he told me he loved me.

Despite her best efforts to stop them, the tears she had been fighting spilled over and ran onto her cheeks. Jacob glanced over at her and removed his had from the gearshift where it had been resting, and took hers.

"Bella, please don't cry. It will be ok."

Now that she was on her way to face the situation, all the bravado and adrenaline that had sustained Bella throughout the evening deserted her. "Wha-what if it's not? Jacob, he's my best friend. What if we've ruined everything?" She began to sob.

Jacob pulled into a parking space in front of her building and turned to wrap his arms around her.

"Bella, sweetheart, you have to calm down."

Bella tried to calm down. She took deep breaths and wiped her eyes, only to be struck by thoughts that brought on a new bout of tears.

What if he hates me? What if he wants to move out? Oh god, I don't know what I am going to do!

Jacob continued to hold her through her storm of emotions, stroking her hair and murmuring soothing nonsense into her ear.

****r~d****

Edward arrived home in a much better state of mind than he had left. His conversation with Alice and Jasper, well, mostly Alice, had helped him clear some things up. He knew he had handled things badly, and he wanted to try to make it right. The only problem now was waiting. He wasn't sure what time Bella was coming home, or if she was coming home at all.

_You can't think that way._

To distract himself, Edward did what he always did when he was under duress - he cleaned. He swept the kitchen, he vacuumed the living room, he washed the dishes left over from Bella's dinner, and all the time he kept pushing back the what-ifs; _what if this is the last time I wash her dishes? What if this is the last time I hang up her scarf? What if this is the last time I put her shoes in her room?_

_Can't think that way._

Finally, when the apartment was spotless, he decided to go for a walk. _I'll pick up some ice cream on the way back. _

His five-block trek to the small grocery store they frequented was uneventful, and as he walked back, Edward's mood was lighter than it had been all night. Surely Bella would be home soon, and it was just a silly fight, after all. They had survived worse, in all their years of friendship. They would survive this, and maybe enjoy the rest of their weekend together.

His heart lifted even more when he saw Jacob's car parked outside their building. Bella was home.

Then he saw in the window of Jacob's car. He saw Jacob, with his arms around Bella, holding her close, nuzzling her ear. He saw Bella with her arms tightly around his neck. He saw Jacob stroking her back.

His heart, so hopeful just a moment before, broke.

****r~d****

It took a little while, but eventually Bella was able to stop crying. She pulled away from Jacob and laughed humorlessly at the large dark spot on his shoulder. "I think I managed to get all my makeup on you Jake. I'll replace the shirt, I'm sorry."

"No worries Bell, next time I'll let you buy dinner. And we'll make it a double date, how's that?"

Bella nodded, managing a watery smile. "I want to meet Ren. I need to make sure she's good enough for you."

"Sure thing Bells. Want me to walk you up?"

"Would you?"

"Of course, anything for my little Bellsy."

Bella frowned at the hated nickname, but she was glad for his continued company. It was late, and she didn't want to walk up the three flights of stairs alone.

At the door, Jacob gently took the keys from her still-shaking hand and unlocked the door. He leaned down and brushed his lips across her forehead. "Good night Bella, get some rest. It's all going to be ok."

Bella managed to give him a little smile in return, and she entered her apartment, unsure of what she would find. It was completely dark.

_That's odd._ There was a lamp in the living room they rarely turned off, since the light switches were some distance away from the front door.

As she walked forward to turn on a light, she stumbled over something on the floor. She located a light switch and flipped it on, then looked back to see what had tripped her. It was something in a plastic bag. She opened the bag to find a half-melted pint of Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk. Her favorite.

_What the heck?_

****r~d****

Edward heard the door open and close a moment later. He was tempted to pull his pillow over his head so that he would not have to hear Bella with him, but he forced himself to stay still. She had made her choice; he might as well start learning to deal with it.

Instead of the masculine voice he expected, there was only silence out in the apartment, then the unmistakable sound of Bella tripping over something. More silence.

They probably can't stop making out long enough to walk across the living room. Edward tortured himself with images of Bella and Jacob entwined on the sofa.

He totally wasn't expecting his door to open.

"Edward? Are you awake?" Bella's whisper filled the room.

His eyes threatened to fill again at the sound of her voice. Get it together. You will NOT cry in front of her. It had been all he could manage to get up the stairs earlier and get behind closed doors before the dam broke earlier. Now that he had his emotions under control, he wasn't letting them go.

He contemplating faking sleep, but that would just be delaying the inevitable.

"Yes."

"Can I come in?"

"Yes."

Bella entered and sat gingerly on the edge of his bed. She sat in silence for a moment, then started to speak. "Edward, about tonight-"

"It's fine." Edward interrupted. "I get it. I won't get in the way."

Bella was silent for another moment, and when she spoke, her voice was filled with confusion. "Edward, what the hell are you talking about?"

It was Edward's turn to be confused. He had made himself perfectly clear, hadn't he? He understood she had chosen Jacob, and he wouldn't get in the way. He sat up and turned on the lamp beside his bed. The sight of her face in the sudden light took his breath.

She looked terrible. Her eyes were so swollen they could barely open, her nose and cheeks were red, and her hair looked like it hadn't been brushed in days.

"Bella, what on earth?"

Bella took a deep breath. "I might have cried a little bit tonight. Or a lot." She looked down at his duvet, twisting an edge between her fingers.

Suddenly everything clicked together in Edward's mind.

"So, earlier, when you were in the car with Jacob...you weren't kissing? You were crying?"

Bella nodded.

"Were you...was it because of me? Did I make you cry?"

Bella nodded again, not meeting his eyes.

"Oh my gosh Bella. I am so..I am so, so, sorry." He reached for her then, pulling her down to lie next to him. She curled into him, and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. She felt tiny and frail next to him.

They lay in silence for a moment, and Edward wondered if she had fallen asleep.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"We need to talk."

She looked up at him, and even with swollen, tired eyes, she was the most beautiful woman he could imagine.

"I know. We will. But tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay" He pulled her more tightly to his chest and reached down to cover her with a blanket. Tomorrow would be soon enough.

Thanks for reading! Reviews are love!


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Twilight.

Edward rushed up the stairs towards his apartment, taking them two at a time. He was running late- stupid Friday afternoon Seattle traffic - and he could barely wait for tonight. One of Bella's favorite artists was in town doing a one-night-only benefit at a club downtown. The tickets were ridiculously expensive and hard to get, but Edward had managed to acquire a pair from one of the other musicians he worked with on occasion. Bella didn't know where they were going, he had just told her to be ready to go at 7:00. He had been bursting with the secret all week.

It had been four weeks since the blackout, and three since they had decided to be an "official" couple, but Bella had spent most of the last few weeks working on a paper – 10,000 words on Representations of Elizabethan Era Misogyny in Shakespeare. Just the title made Edward's head hurt . So this was their first real date. The closest they had come were the nights Edward had dragged her away from her laptop to take a break to eat, and even those times had been sporadic. Bella had worked herself to exhaustion, and he was determined to make this night perfect.

Edward looked at his watch. 7:15. _Damn._ _ I hope she isn't too mad at me._

He unlocked the front door and walked into the living room to find Bella on the couch. She was dressed casually in dark jeans and a blue sweater he had never seen her wear before, her hair cascading in soft curls around her face. She was incredibly beautiful - and fast asleep. Edward took a moment to drink in the sight of her, her face relaxed and her long dark lashes resting on her deliciously pink cheeks.

_Is her face always that pink?_

Edward sat down next to her, speaking her name softly to wake her up. She stirred slightly but did not awake. He said her name again, louder this time, and reached up to run his fingers down her cheek.

_Her face is awfully warm._

At his touch, Bella's lids flickered opened, and she looked at him, eyes shining. Shining a little too much, actually. They were oddly unfocused.

"Edward?" Her voice was rough. "Did I fall asleep?" She coughed a few times, then took in a deep breath and coughed again. She blinked and shook her head, as if she was unsure where she was.

"Mmm-hmm. Did you get tired of waiting for me?"

Bella looked at him oddly. "Waiting for you? Oh, um, I guess..." She coughed again. "Wait, what?" She blinked heavily. "I sat down, and I was so tired..." she trailed off.

Edward was concerned. Bella was acting very oddly, and she looked...off. Her cheeks were too flushed, and her eyes were too bright. Plus, there was that cough. "Baby, are you ok?"

*Cough* "I'm fine," she replied, with another cough. "Are you ready to go?" She stood, and suddenly swayed on her feet, her eyes opening wide. Edward caught her as she quickly sat back down, helping her land on the sofa.

"You aren't fine." Edward laid his hand gently on her forehead. "You're burning up. How long have you been coughing like that?"

The question seemed to require a lot of thought. She closed her eyes for a moment before answering. "Since this morning...I think..." She trailed off as she was taken by fit of coughing.

"Ok sweetheart. Time for bed for you, I think."

"But, you made plans, you were so excited," Bella protested weakly, between coughs. "I got Alice to help me pick out something new to wear..." Bella's eyes filled with tears.

Edward pulled her close to him in a gentle hug. He stroked her hair, attempting to soothe her. "You look beautiful baby. I love the new clothes. But you're sick. We'll go out next weekend, and you can wear your new outfit, and I will show off my gorgeous girl."

"Ok." Bella nodded in agreement against his chest.

"Can you walk? Do you want me to carry you?"

"I think I can walk. Just don't let go, ok?"

"Never." Edward gently helped her to her feet, and together they made their way to her room. Edward eased her down onto the bed and opened her dresser, locating a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. He chuckled when he realized it was one of his that she had appropriated. He handed her the clothes.

"Can you change on your own?"

Bella blushed. "I think so. Um, can you get me a sports bra? They are in the top drawer." She blushed darker.

Edward complied, taking a deep breath before he opened the drawer. He wasn't sure if this was the drawer where she kept all her underwear, and he didn't know if he hoped it was, or if he hoped it wasn't. He released the breath he had been holding when he saw a small pile of neatly folded sports bras next to piles of tank tops and shorts. He grabbed the top one and handed it to her without a word.

"I'll just...I'll be right outside, ok?"

Edward stepped into the hallway and leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths and attempting to distract himself from thoughts of his beautiful Bella changing on the other side of the door. He heard coughing from her room, but beyond that there were no sounds.

It seemed hours later when she called out for him to come in again. Her new clothes were in the chair in the corner, and she seemed somehow tiny and frail in the baggy pants and his t-shirt.

"Do you need anything else?" Are you warm enough?"

"I think I am ok."

"Alright. Get some sleep, you will feel better in the morning." _I hope_. "Call me if you need anything, ok?" Bella nodded drowsily.

Bella lay down and Edward bent to help pull her blankets up to her chin. He bent and pressed his lips softly against her warm forehead. "Sweet dreams, baby."

Edward left her room, being sure to leave the door open a bit so he could hear her if she called out for him. As soon as he reached the living room he pulled out his cell phone and called Jasper.

"Hey man, you know that Ben Folds show tonight? You and Alice want to go?"

****r~d****

_Why am I in bed? What time is it?_

Bella was very confused. _What day is it? _She concentrated, trying to remember.She and Alice had gone shopping on Wednesday after she submitted her paper, then on Thursday she had taught the literary analysis class for which she was a TA, and on Friday...what had she done on Friday? Had Friday happened yet?

_I need to grade those essays on Friday, and then Edward has big plans...I hope he likes my new clothes..._

Bella shook her head to try to clear away the buzzing that filled her ears and kept her from thinking clearly. _But...did I already wear that sweater? I think I did...but I just bought it and I was saving it for Edward... _

She sat up and looked around the room, and despite the way her vision spun, she saw the sweater in question, tossed across the back of her desk chair.

_Why is that there? Did I try it on and leave it out? Whoa..._

Bella lay back down as her head began to spin again.

Once her head cleared a little, she looked over at the clock glowing on her nightstand.

_8:37_

_8:37? It's too dark to be morning...and yesterday was Thursday, so it must be...Oh no! Edward said to be ready at 7! He's going to be so upset!_

Bella sat up again, but before she could stand up, she began to cough. The coughing, and the accompanying pain in her lungs, drove everything else from her mind. She desperately tried to breathe, but every breath brought on a new bout of racking coughs. She was bent double over the bed, gasping for air, when her door flew open.

****r~d****

After Jasper came by to pick up the tickets, Edward settled on the couch to watch TV, keeping the volume low so he would be sure to hear Bella if she called him. He definitely didn't like the sound of that cough. After flipping channels for a while, he settled on a rerun of Bones and tried to let himself be absorbed by the story. It didn't work. Just as he flipped off the TV and decided to try to get some work done for the next week, he heard Bella start to cough.

He was on his feet in a moment, but he hesitated. He didn't want to disturb her if she could go back to sleep. But the coughing continued, sounding loud in the otherwise silent apartment. He bolted for her room.

He pushed the door open to find her sitting on the bed, leaned over, coughing and gasping desperately. Despite his rush to get to her, he was completely at a loss as to what to do to help. Finally he sat down next to her and began to rub her back as she coughed.

"Breathe, baby, just breathe."

She continued to cough, and Edward cursed his own impotence. _Am I just supposed to sit here and watch her suffer?_

Finally, after what felt to him like a small eternity in hell, Bella's coughs subsided and she was able to breathe more normally. Tears were streaming down her face, and when she spoke, her voice sounded as if her larynx had been through a meat grinder.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"What day is it?"

Edward almost laughed at the ridiculousness of the question. Bella just spent the last 10 minutes coughing her lungs out, and she wanted to know what day it was?

"It's Friday, love," he replied gently.

"Oh no! Your plans! I am so sor..." her apology was overtaken by another fit of coughing.

Edward waited for the episode to pass, rubbing slow circles on her back. Once she was breathing again, he answered her.

"Sweetheart, we already talked about this. It's ok. Don't you remember?"

Bella drew her eyebrows together, concentrating. Edward wanted to kiss the little V it made on her forehead, but he thought this probably wasn't the time.

"Kind of...wait...did I fall asleep on the couch?"

Edward nodded.

Bella sighed, and it brought on another series of coughs. Once they passed, she leaned heavily against Edward's side. He wrapped his arm around her and gave in to the temptation to kiss her forehead. He let his lips linger for a moment, judging her temperature. _Definitely too warm._

"Do you want anything? You didn't eat dinner."

"No, I'm not *cough* hungry. *cough* Some water, maybe?"

"Sure, baby. I'll be right back."

He left the room, and as soon as he cleared the door he pulled out his phone and dialed his father. He desperately hoped he was available.

Thankfully, Carlisle answered on the first ring.

"Dad? You have to help me!"

"Edward? Son? What's wrong?"

"It's Bella. She's sick. She's coughing and coughing, she can't stop. Her voice is raw and she's got a fever, and dad, she's all foggy, like, she doesn't know what day it is and she can't remember stuff, and I don't know what to do..."

"Alright Edward, calm down. Tell me her symptoms again."

Edward reviewed with his father all he had observed in Bella over the past few hours, and Carlisle listened patiently, occasionally asking for clarification or more details. When Edward finished his recitation, Carlisle was silent for a long moment.

"Dad? Are you still there?"

"Yes, son, I am just thinking. It's hard to do a diagnosis over the phone, and I am not Bella's doctor, but from what you have described it sounds like she has a nice case of the flu."

"So what do I do?"

"Have you had a flu shot?"

"Yes."

"Good. Has she?"

"No, she can't, she reacts to something in them. And she hates doctors, plus, she doesn't have health insurance right now."

"Alright, here's what you can do..."

They spent several minutes discussing ways to handle various symptoms, and Edward made a detailed list of every medication Carlisle mentioned. He suggested propping her up so she could breathe more easily, and making sure she drank enough water and ate regularly, even if it was just a little bit.

"And son..."

"Yes?"

"She's not going to like this, but if she is coughing as badly as you say...if she gets any worse, you may need to take her to the ER. Stay with her, at any rate. If you do have to take her in, tell her not to worry about the money, if she can't pay for it then we will."

"Dad, you don't have to do that."

"Of course we do. She's like a daughter to us."

"Thanks dad." Edward was nearly limp with relief and finally having some idea of how he could take care of his Bella.

"It's been a while since we've seen you two. Maybe your mother and I can come up in a couple of weeks?"

"That would be great. I'm sure she would love to see you. But...you should probably know something first."

"What's that?"

"Bella and I...we're..." Edward was suddenly at a loss. How did he explain this to his father? "We're, um, together."

"I see." Edward could hear the smile in his father's voice.

"It's...well, it kind of just happened, and we haven't told many people..."

"Son, it's not exactly a surprise."

"It's not?" _It surprised me._

"No, son, it's not. Your mother and I had a bet about it actually. I just won."

"What? You and mom _bet _about us?" Edward sputtered.

Carlisle laughed. "Yes, we did."

"Fine. Laugh it up." His tone was petulant, but Edward couldn't manage to stay mad at his father for long, and soon they had tentatively chosen a weekend for Carlisle and Esme to visit. Edward ended the conversation, feeling he had left Bella alone long enough.

He went into the kitchen for the promised water, and returned to Bella's room to find her curled in a ball on the bed, asleep again.

****r~d****

As the door swung partially closed behind Edward's retreating back, Bella gave in to the demands of her spinning head and lay down again.

_Mmmm, sweet Edward. Everyone should have an Edward._

She suppressed a giggle at the image that came to mind of an ad campaign for a line of Edward dolls, with that tagline - "Everyone should have an Edward!" She had finally stopped coughing, and she was afraid laughing would make it start again. She lay there and concentrated on inhaling and exhaling, avoiding breathing too deeply. She heard Edward's voice in the hallway, but the buzzing in her head was back, and it made it very hard to understand anything. It took too much energy to try, so she relaxed and just listened to the velvety sound of his voice.

Her eyelids began to droop, and her whole body was suddenly too heavy for words. She knew Edward was somewhere, and she vaguely thought he might be coming back, and there was a reason she should stay awake, but it didn't seem that important. She drifted off, lulled by the cadence of his voice outside her door.

The next thing she was aware of was Edward's arms lifting her gently from her bed. She buried her face against his warm shoulder.

"Wahh gohh?" She mumbled sleepily against him.

"What was that love?"

She lifted her head a bit. "Where're we going?"

"My room"

"Why?" Bella was confused again.

Edward chuckled as he carried her down the hall. "Because, sweet girl, my bed is more comfortable than yours. Plus, I have a futon in my room, and I don't fancy sleeping in your desk chair."

Although this made no sense at all to Bella's befuddled brain, she didn't have the energy to pursue it. "Kay." She allowed her head to fall against his shoulder again.

****r~d****

Edward lowered her onto his bed and was reminded of the last time she had slept there. That night, after their fight, when she had come to him and curled up in his arms, seeking comfort with him even before everything had been resolved between them. He had been astounded by the amount of courage it must have taken her to approach him after he had been so cruel, and after she had fallen asleep against his chest he had watched her in the dark, struck by how unbelievably lucky he was to have her in his life.

He looked down at her now, her cheeks flushed with fever, and resolved again to take care of her for as long as she would let him. Unfortunately, this time taking care of her would involve leaving her, if just for a little while. He wrote a note and left it on the pillow next to her, explaining that he had gone to get medicine and would be back as fast as he could. He located her phone and put it with the note so she could call him if she needed him, and took one last look at her before he left. She was sleeping peacefully - hopefully she would continue to do so, and she would never know he left.

He quickly jogged the few blocks to the closest grocery store, and hurried through it, carefully consulting Carlisle's list. The pharmacy section was small, but well stocked, and within a few minutes he had everything he needed. As he approached the checkout, he heard the beginning notes of Liszt's _Un Sospiro_ - Bella's ringtone.

_Oh, no. I hope she's ok._

"Bella? Are you alright?"

"Edward?" Her voice was barely audible.

"Yes, love. Are you ok? I'm so sorry I had to leave, I should be back in a few minutes though."

"Can you bring me some grapefruit juice? I really want grapefruit juice."

"Of course. Do you need anything else?"

"Fried chicken? And ice cream?"

Edward couldn't help but laugh. "What kind of ice cream, sweetheart?"

"Ummm...Banana? Do they make banana ice cream?"

"I'll look. I'm sure I can find something. Anything else?"

"Can you hurry? I miss you."

Edward's heart melted at those words, spoken in her tiny, raspy voice. "Yes, I will. Close your eyes and go back to sleep baby, I will be there before you know it."

"Kay"

"I love you."

Edward hit end, then went as quickly as he could to gather the items Bella had requested. As soon as he had paid for them and got to the sidewalk outside the store, he started for home at a jog. Within minutes, the jog had turned into a run, and then into a sprint.

****r~d****

Bella awoke slowly. She took in her surroundings and realized she was in Edward's bed rather than her own, and she vaguely remembered being carried into his room. She rolled over, and saw a piece of paper on the pillow next to her, along with her phone. She reached for the paper, and saw Edward's always-perfect script.

_Bella, _

_I went to get you some medicine that Carlisle recommended. I'll be back as quickly as I can. Please call if you need anything. _

_- E_

Bella smiled and stretched. She breathed experimentally, hoping desperately she would not start coughing again. Fortunately, the cough seemed to have calmed itself, for the moment at least. Then she swallowed.

_Wow, my throat really hurts. I want some grapefruit juice. And I think I'm hungry. Mmmm, fried chicken. I want fried chicken. I should call and ask Edward to bring me some._

Before she could talk herself out of it, she had picked up the phone. It hurt to talk, but she persevered. She found herself asking for banana ice cream in addition to the grapefruit and fried chicken.

_That has got to be the weirdest combination ever. He must think I am insane_.

Somehow, she didn't seem to care too much.

He told her to go back to sleep, which struck her as a lovely suggestion, and then he said it.

"_I love you."_

Bella's breath caught, and it had nothing to do with the flu. He hadn't said those words since the day after the blackout.

She had hoped to take Edward's suggestion and go back to sleep, but sleep was now an impossibility. He head whirled with the implications of Edward's statement, and her own feelings.

When he had said it after the blackout, she had attributed it to the emotion of the day and hadn't taken it very seriously. They were best friends, after all, and had been for most of their lives. They loved each other. It wasn't the first time she had heard those words from him, although it was first time she had heard them while she was snuggled in his arms, and the first time they had been prefaced by an earth-shaking, breath-taking kiss.

_Does he really love me? I can't imagine why he would. Do I love him? I mean, I love him, but do I LOVE him love him? What does that even mean? _

Bella's experience with love - real, enduring love, was practically nonexistent. Her parents hadn't divorced until she and Jasper were in college, but they should have. They had been little more than roommates for her entire life. They rarely fought; fighting would have required them to notice one another. Instead, her father spent every evening in front of the television, beer (after beer after beer) in hand, and her mother had stayed very, very busy. Yoga, painting classes, modern dance, Spanish courses; Renee had done it all, all the time keeping a perfectly immaculate house and being a very visible "perfect" mom, present at every school event and PTA meeting, and utterly out of touch with her children. The undercurrent of tension and animosity had been so powerful in her house that Bella had escaped to the Cullens' house, three houses down the street, as often as she could ever since she was a child, and Jasper often joined her there. They had spent so much time there as teenagers that Esme and Carlisle had made one of the bedrooms "Bella's room" so she could have a place to get away from the boys when she wanted to. It had been Esme who had bought Bella her first tampons and Carlisle had taught Jasper how to hit a baseball and to open doors for girls.

She could say the words "I love you", and _had _said them - granted, it was only a few times, to only a few people. But that didn't mean she knew how to actually do it, and this love that Edward spoke of - the love he seemed to offer so freely - Bella didn't know how that worked. And she was suddenly terrified.

She was shaken out of her thoughts by the sound of the front door opening. She quickly composed herself, hoping Edward would blame any odd behavior on her illness.

_I've gotta figure this out. I can't have the flu forever._

****r~d*****

Bella was strangely subdued when he returned home, but Edward attributed that to the flu. They shared a little fried-chicken-and-grapefruit-juice picnic on his bed, after Bella had taken Carlisle's suggested flu cocktail. She soon grew sleepy again, and Edward retrieved every pillow in the apartment to help prop her up to sleep. After making sure for the 37th time that she was warm enough, he grabbed the pillow Bella had insisted he use himself, and a couple of blankets, and lay down on the futon. They lay in silence in for a few minutes, the room gently illuminated with the glow of streetlamps and neon outside the window, Bella's eyelids drooping. Just when Edward thought she had drifted off, she spoke quietly into the darkness.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Will you tell me a story?"

He hadn't heard those words from her in ages. As a child, stories had been her refuge, and any time she was tired or scared, or things at home got to be too much, she would ask him for one. As a teenager she had discovered literature, and his stories had fallen aside in favor of Jane Austin and the Bronte sisters and Shakespeare.

Edward smiled to himself in the darkness. _I've missed that. _

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who was locked in a tower..."

Just as the prince broke the last enchantment to rescue the princess from her imprisonment, Bella fell asleep.

Despite the cough medicine Carlisle had recommended, Bella had several coughing fits throughout the night. As long as Bella was partially upright she could breathe normally, but as soon as she became horizontal, the coughing would start up again, and it was nearly impossible to stop. Each time, after the coughing had subsided, she would situate herself upright, then shortly after falling back asleep she would roll off the pillows that held her up. She then would wake herself up coughing, and the cycle would start over again. When she woke up, Edward woke as well. By 2 am, Bella was crying in frustration, and Edward had abandoned the futon and moved to the bed. He went to get her another dose of cough syrup, then they sat on the edge of the bed as he stroked her back, whispering gently in an attempt to calm her. Eventually her tears subsided and she began to breathe more easily.

"I have an idea."

Bella did not respond, she just leaned against his side in exhaustion. He took that as consent to try his idea. Edward leaned pillows against the headboard and then situated himself against the pillows. He brought her to him, so that she was leaned back against him with her back resting on his chest and her head on his shoulder. He pulled the blankets up over both of them, wrapped his arms securely around her waist, and whispered in her ear.

"Comfortable?" He felt her nod drowsily.

"Warm enough?"

Another nod.

"Go to sleep, baby."

"But you won't be able to sleep like that," Bella protested feebly, her voice nearly gone.

"Shhh, don't worry about me, you need to sleep to get well." He gently stroked his fingers up and down the inside of her forearm, a foolproof way to help her relax.

Sure enough, within a few minutes, her body became heavy with sleep against his.

_Maybe this flu thing isn't all bad, _Edward thought, as he closed his eyes and dozed as well.

****r~d****

Just as the room began to fill with early morning sunlight, Bella woke feeling considerably more human, and experiencing a very urgent human need. She cautiously extricated herself from Edward's embrace and went to answer her bladder's demands and take some more cough medicine. When she returned, she sat down on the futon and considered the man leaned against the headboard, still unconscious.

_He's so beautiful when he's asleep. Heck, he's beautiful all the time._

She studied his features - his strong jaw, his perfect lips, his crazy hair. In sleep, he almost looked like the boy in her memories.

"_Bella? What are you doing up here?"_

_Bella looked up in surprise, hastily wiping her face. Edward's head had appeared in the trapdoor to his treehouse, his 12 year old face twisted in concern. "Me and Jas have been looking all over for you. Your mom called, she said you have to go home."_

_Bella sighed. "I thought she would. She's mad."_

"_Why? What happened?" Edward settled himself next to her, leaning against the wall._

"_We got in a fight. I told her I didn't want to do ballet anymore. I suck at it."_

_Edward laughed and nodded. "No offense Bells, but you really do."_

"_I know! Everybody knows! My teacher hates me, I make the whole class look bad. I can barely do a plie without falling over. But mom says it will make more graceful." Bella rolled her eyes._

"_You guys fight all the time. What's the big deal this time?"_

_Bella bit her lip, and twisted her fingers in her lap. "Charlie." The word was barely a whisper._

"_Oh." He sat in silence._

_Even at twelve, Bella appreciated that Edward didn't push. He knew how to wait and let her talk if she wanted to._

_They sat together for a long time, the only sounds in the wooden structure the songs of birds in the trees outside._

"_He said I was being disrespectful. That I shouldn't talk to my mother like that. Then..." Bella trailed off. Edward focused very hard on something outside the window and pretended he couldn't her the sniffles. "Don't say anything to Jasper, ok? I don't want him to get in more trouble." Fourteen year old Jasper had quite a volatile temper, and he was protective of his baby sister._

_Edward didn't speak, he just put his arm around her, a little awkwardly. _ _Bella leaned her head on his thin shoulder._

Bella shook off her reverie, swiping at the tears that suddenly threatened to spill down her face. Even at twelve, Edward had been beautiful, and sweet, and thoughtful. Bella could barely stand to look at pictures of herself at that age, but Edward's adolescent awkward phase had been practically nonexistent. Their lives had been so entertwined for so long that nearly all her memories involved him in some way. The memories she didn't repress anyway; memories like that particular argument with Renee when Charlie decided to get involved. She knew Edward had suspected that there was more to the story, but she hadn't told him, and he hadn't pushed. Bella was clumsy, she was always covered in bruises. There was no way for anyone to know which ones came from her many bumps and falls and which ones...didn't.

Bella couldn't understand why he had stuck around for so long. She was average, at best, and he was amazing. She was thankful he had though, and now... now he said he loved her. His behavior said he loved her. She couldn't understand why. Bella had been taking care of herself for so long that she wasn't sure how to react when someone else wanted to do it, but she had to admit, it was nice. She desperately hoped it would last. Her heart squeezed with fear at the thought that it wouldn't.

His eyes fluttered open, as if he could feel her gaze. Her breath caught in her chest, and it had nothing to do with the flu and everything to do with the sleepy, scruffy smile he sent her way.

"Hey, what are you doing all the way over there?"

She didn't answer; she just crawled onto the bed and back into his arms. She closed her eyes as he tightened his hold around her and nuzzled her ear.

_Guess I should enjoy it while it lasts._

Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N - Thanks so much to all who have read and reviewed – I am terrible about responding to reviews, but please know that every one, positive or negative, thrills me, and I appreciate it so much.

This chapter starts out pretty fluffy, but it goes to a very un-fluffy place. Please be aware there may be some triggers.

Hope you enjoy!

I do not own anything Twilight, however, I do own this little plot.

_I'm in heaven._

Edward's lips were the most amazing things ever created, she was sure of it. They traced a slow line along her jaw, down her throat, and across her collarbone, exposed by the wide-necked shirt she wore, then made the return journey up the other side, leaving a trail of tingling skin in their wake.

_Somebody remind me to thank Alice for picking out this shirt._

She was equally sure that, while his lips occupied the first place position on the list of wonders of the universe, his hands were a very close second. One cupped the back of her head, his thumb drawing slow circles on her scalp, while the other explored the curve of her side, his fingers lightly tracing her ribcage and occasionally dipping inside the bottom of her shirt to stroke the skin on her back. Every place he touched felt as if it would burst into flames any moment.

_I hope I don't catch fire_, she thought idly. _ I would be a shame to burn those amazing hands. _

Bella tangled her fingers in his hair, drawing him closer to her. His lips ghosted over her cheek to her ear, where he spoke, in the softest whisper imaginable, "Do you know what tomorrow is?"

"Mmmmm," was all Bella could manage to reply, as every bit of her skin broke into gooseflesh at his breath in her ear.

His lips traveled slowly, circuitously, to her other ear, where he repeated his earlier action. "What's tomorrow, Bella?"

"Shhh, you're distracting me."

Edward chuckled and withdrew a bit. He brought his lips within millimeters of hers, and spoke in a low, velvet voice. "No more kisses until you tell me what tomorrow is." He smirked at her scowl.

_What the heck is tomorrow? April 17th, April 17th, April 17th..._

Suddenly Bella stiffened and sat up, pulling away from Edward and his delicious lips.

"Crap! Tomorrow is Charlie's birthday!" She jumped up from the sofa and began frantically searching for her phone.

****r~d****

Edward collapsed back on the couch cushions. That had not gone at all as he had planned. Tomorrow was, in fact, eight weeks since the fateful snowstorm that had changed everything for them. He cursed whatever cruel deity had dictated that this anniversary fall on the same day as Bella's father's birthday.

"Jasper? Did you remember dad's birthday? Yeah, me neither. Thank goodness Edward did."

_No, I didn't. Dammit._

Edward was irritated, but not actually angry; Bella would have been upset with herself if she had missed Charlie's birthday. A part of him, the part that wasn't occupied with wishing he were still kissing her, was glad he had inadvertently helped her remember.

"Do you want to go sometime this weekend, or just call, or what? It's too late to send a present, it won't get there 'till next week."

Edward stood up and made his way to stand behind Bella, lightly resting his hands on her hips, his thumbs stroking her sides gently. She leaned back into him while she waited for her brother's reply.

"So, tomorrow then? When? Jas, that's awfully early for a Saturday. Oh, ok. Sure. I'll ask him."

Bella turned her head to look at Edward. "Do you want to go to Forks with Jasper and me tomorrow? Alice is going too, but she has to be back in the afternoon, so we'll have to leave pretty early." Bella paused for a moment, pulling her lower lip between her teeth, before she added, "If you don't want to go, that's fine."

Edward considered for a moment. He had anticipated spending the next day with Bella, but he hadn't planned on spending half the day in someone else's car, and Bella's father had definitely not been included in his vision for the day. Still, at least he would get to be with her, and there was something about the look on her face...

"Sure. Count me in."

Bella flashed him a small smile and returned to the phone. "He's coming. OK, fine, 8:00."

Edward groaned at her words.

Bella hit end on her phone and turned to wrap her arms around Edward's waist. "Thank you," she murmured against his chest.

"For what?"

"For being a really great boyfriend." Edward's heart skipped a beat. Even after being together for nearly two months, Bella still rarely used the word 'boyfriend'.

He chuckled. "Will you still think I am a great boyfriend when I fall asleep on the way there tomorrow and drool on you?"

"Ew!" Bella tried to pull away, but Edward's arms around her held tight. He dropped a kiss on her head.

"Actually, I think I have a better idea. There's no reason for us to kill ourselves just because Alice has to come back early. Why don't I call mom and dad and see if we can have dinner with them and stay at their place tomorrow night?" Edward didn't bother to suggest staying at Charlie's - he knew what the answer would be.

"Edward, what are we gonna do in Forks all day?"

"I don't know - go to the beach? Revisit the treehouse?" Edward waggled his eyebrows at her. The Cullen treehouse had been the site of many significant events in their formative years, not least of which had been their very first kiss. They had been 12 and wondering what all the fuss was about. Afterwards Bella had declared kissing gross and declared she never intended to do it again. Clearly, at 12, she was not yet ready to appreciate the wonder of Edward's lips. Then again, 12-year-old Edward probably lacked the finesse he would possess 10 years later.

Bella hesitated. "I don't know..."

"Bella, I don't want to go all the way to Forks and not visit my parents. I know they want to see us, particularly since their plans to come here last weekend fell through. And I would rather not spend our entire anniversary riding in the backseat of Jasper's car."

"Our...ooooh, it is, isn't it? Well, it's no fort made of sheets, but I guess I could spend tomorrow in your treehouse." Bella grinned up at him. Edward couldn't resist - he bent down and met her grin with his own. Together they returned to the sofa to begin celebrating.

****r~d****

Bella groaned and rolled over at the sound of her alarm the next day. She opened one eye and glared at the clock, shining 7:01.

_Damn perky clock._

She rolled onto her back and contemplated the day ahead. To say she was excited would not only be overstatement, it would be a bald-faced lie.

Since the divorce, her father had changed. It was almost as if he woke up the day Renee had walked out, and suddenly realized he had been a lousy father. Unfortunately, despite his best efforts, he was still a lousy father. His idea of parenting was to try to bond with Jasper over sports and criticize Bella, or ask her when she was getting a real job, getting married, moving back to Forks, or all of the above.

_At least Jasper likes sports._

She heard Edward moving around outside her door, and soon she smelled the unmistakable aroma of his coffee. Edward was a bit of a coffee snob, but Bella wasn't complaining. It was magnificent, and he was always willing to share.

For a few terrible minutes the day before she had thought he wasn't going to come with her. She wouldn't blame him if he didn't - spending a Saturday driving back and forth to Forks to visit her father was no one's idea of fun. She could handle Charlie, and it wasn't like she would be alone even if Edward didn't go, but in that moment, the thought of facing him without Edward had been paralyzing. Her heart had stopped while he had been considering his answer, and when he had assented, she was sure it would burst out of her chest.

She lay there for a few minutes, considering the possibility of just refusing to get out of bed. _If I don't get up, I don't have to go, right?_ She checked the clock again. 7:17. She closed her eyes and wished the day was over already. She opened them when she heard a knock on the door. She groaned.

"Does that mean I can come in?"

She groaned again.

Edward entered, looking almost as annoyingly chipper as her alarm clock. Bella forgave him his cheerfulness when she saw the cup in his hand. Edward laughed at her expression.

"You want some coffee?"

Bella nodded and reached for the cup. Edward held it back.

"Nope. No coffee for you until you are up and dressed."

Bella pouted, pulling her sheet up over her head. "Jerk," she muttered.

Edward pulled the sheet away from her. "Maybe this will wake you up," he said as he descended onto the bed. He pulled her into an embrace and kissed her until she was nearly breathless. Just as she began to lose herself in the feel of his lips on hers, his fingers came up to her ribcage...and poked. Bella shrieked.

"No...no...tickling!"

Edward laughed evilly and pinned her beneath him, mercilessly finding each of the spots he knew would make her scream with laughter. She squirmed and flailed in an attempt to escape, but Edward had strength, size, and years of practice on his side. Finally he stopped and looked down at her with a mischievous gleam in his eye. There was something else there too - something Bella could not quite place, but it made it very difficult to breathe.

"Are you ready to get up now? Jasper will be here in a little while."

Bella looked at the clock. 7:26. She sighed. "I suppose so."

Edward lifted himself from the bed, then reached down to pull her up. He hugged her briefly, planting a few warm kisses on her jaw line, then pulled away reluctantly. "Have I ever told you how much I love you in the morning?" he asked. "All warm and soft and sweet..." he reached up and ruffled her hair "...like a perfect, beautiful haystack." He grinned and pushed her towards the door, swatting her on the behind as she passed him. "Shower, woman. And hurry."

Bella stuck her tongue out at him and walked to the bathroom. She shut the door behind her and contemplated her reflection.

_Haystack is right. Ugh._

Then she noticed them - the little marks on her neck, just above her collarbone. Edward had left her a souvenir of their celebration the evening before. She groaned.

_Fantastic timing. Now I'm gonna have to kill him._

****r~d****

While Bella showered, Edward paced the apartment, anxious about the day. He had known Charlie for years, but this was the first time he would be meeting him as Bella's boyfriend. Charlie had always been unpredictable - Edward had no idea what kind of reaction to expect.

_Bella's boyfriend. _Even after 2 months, the thought still shot a thrill of joy through him.

He was a little worried about his parents too, but not about their response - he already knew they were thrilled. He was more worried that they would embarrass him or Bella.

To help let off some of his nervous energy, he busied himself in the apartment - he made Bella's bed, although he knew it would irritate her - she said it made her feel guilty when he cleaned up after her - and then he went to make breakfast for the two of them. A few minutes later he heard the shower turn off.

As he slid the scrambled eggs out of the pan, and stuck two pieces of bread in the toaster, there was a familiar knock on the door. He went to let Jasper and Alice in, checking the time. 7:45. _They're awfully early._

He opened the door and accepted a warm hug from Alice, who, despite the early hour, seemed to be vibrating with energy the way she usually did. He greeted Jasper with a handshake and a half-hug, and invited them in.

"You guys want anything? I made breakfast. Bella's not ready yet."

"We ate already, but I wouldn't say no to some of that fancy coffee," Jasper drawled. He had only spent a few years in Texas, but he had picked up a bit of an accent. Bella theorized that, while it may have been authentic when he first returned, he had kept it up on purpose because he knew Alice liked it. Edward was inclined to agree.

Alice and Jasper joined him in the kitchen, at the little dining table. Alice launched into a story about something that had happened to one of her fit models earlier in the week. Edward wasn't entirely sure what a fit model was, but the story was funny even without that knowledge, and soon he and Jasper were laughing along with Alice. They had just stopped laughing when Bella's angry voice filled the apartment.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! You are in so much trouble!"

Alice raised her eyebrows, and Jasper chuckled. He knew that tone all too well.

Edward met Bella at the doorway, hoping to head her off. "Bella...wait..."

His attempt was unsuccessful. "No! Look what you did to me!" she exclaimed, pulling the neckline of her shirt aside to show him the small cluster of dark circles on her neck.

"Bella, um..." Edward was fighting hard not to laugh at her ferocious expression.

"Edward, did you miss the fact that we are going to see our _parents_ today?"

"No, but-" A tiny chuckle escaped from his lips.

Bella's eyes narrowed. "Is something _funny_, Edward?"

"Well..."

Bella took a deep breath, but her tirade was cut short by the sound of a giggle coming from the kitchen. She looked around the room for the first time, and noticed her brother and sister-in-law seated at the table, desperately trying to contain their laughter. She turned crimson.

Jasper carefully composed his face into the picture of seriousness. "Morning, Bella." He pressed his lips together tightly.

Alice was not as successful at controlling the broad grin that covered her face. "Sleep well?" she trilled.

Bella turned, her face flaming now, and left the room. Edward went to follow her, but Alice stopped him. "Let me," she said, slipping past her into the hallway.

Edward sat down at the table across. Jasper's eyes met his. "I suppose," Edward said, "that you are going to threaten to punch me again?"

Jasper shook his head. "Bella would massacre me, and then Alice would bring me back to life and kick my ass. Besides, that was the funniest damn thing I've ever seen."

****r~d****

Alice followed Bella into her bedroom. Bella turned and gave Alice an evil eye. "Go away Alice."

Alice ignored her completely. Instead of leaving, she came forward and looked at Bella's neck. "First hickey?"

Bella looked at Alice and rolled her eyes.

"It's not bad. He does good work. My first one was a gigantic mess." Alice took a moment to look more closely, then she gasped. "Look, they're in the shape of a C! He signed his name!" Alice began to giggle.

Bella looked closely at the small crescent of marks, and her mouth twitched. "He did, didn't he," she observed, and began to chuckle. Soon her chuckle had turned into giggles, and from there into full laughter. Soon she and Alice were lying next to one another on the bed, laughing hysterically and clutching their stomachs.

"He signed...his name...on...my...neck!" Bella gasped out, renewing their laughter.

In a few minutes they calmed down and sat up. "Now," Alice said, "I will teach you the fine art of _covering_ a hickey. I am a master of concealment."

Bella looked at Alice in surprise. "But...I've never seen you with one..." she trailed off.

Alice's eyes sparkled. "Like I said - _master_ of concealment."

****r~d****

Edward was dimly aware the Jasper was talking, but he wasn't paying attention. He was focused on the sounds coming from Bella's room. When he heard laughter, he visibly relaxed. Jasper laughed at him.

"So, are you going to start listening now?"

Edward had the grace to look abashed. "Sorry. I hate it when she's upset. Sounds like she's ok now."

Jasper rolled his eyes. "We'll never get going now that they've started. I am guessing nine."

"Oh, it won't be that bad. Bella's almost ready. 8:30 at the latest."

Jasper looked at Edward speculatively. "Fifty?"

Edward grinned. "You're on." _Bella, win me this bet and I'll buy you anything you want._

They continued to chat, and Edward filled Jasper in on his and Bella's plans to drive separately and stay with his parents. Within a few minutes, Bella and Alice reappeared in the kitchen, both grinning madly. Bella came up behind Edward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I'm sorry," she murmured, before placing a kiss on his earlobe. Edward reached behind him to gently caress her hair, and then turned to place a soft kiss on her lips.

"You're forgiven," he whispered, before kissing her again. They both leaned into the other, but just as Edward began to deepen the kiss, they were interrupted by the sound of Jasper clearing his throat. They pulled back abruptly. Bella blushed, but Edward just looked pleased with himself and took Bella's hand.

"You ready?" he asked. Bella nodded, her cheeks still flushed. "Do you want some breakfast?" She nodded again.

Edward grabbed the toast he had made and wrapped it in a napkin, and poured some coffee into a travel mug, adding cream and sugar before he handed it to her. He slid his hand to the middle of her back and guided her towards the front door.

"8:17. Not bad, sweetheart." He dropped a kiss onto the top of her head, then turned and winked at Jasper, who sighed and reached for his wallet.

Bella laughed when Edward told her she had unknowingly helped him win the bet. The only thing Jasper hated more than losing a bet was losing a bet to _her._ She refused to let him spend the money entirely on her though, instead insisting that they spend it on something for both of them. They sent the next several hours talking about nothing of consequence, their conversation punctuated by long comfortable silences while they listened to music on Edward's ipod. Edward kept his fingers entwined with Bella's, their hands resting in her lap, his thumb slowly stroking hers.

As the hours passed and they got closer to Forks, Edward noticed that Bella got more agitated. She pulled her hand away from his and began playing with the ipod, skipping from song to song until Edward couldn't stand it anymore and gently removed it from her hands. She smiled sheepishly as she relinquished it, then began to fidget - tapping her fingers, bouncing her legs, playing with the hem of her shirt. As they crossed the line into Forks, Edward reached over and laid his hand on her knee, sliding it up her thigh to stop the bouncing of her leg.

"Relax, Bella. Today's going to be fine."

Bella did not speak, but she put her hand over his.

"Are you sure your parents are ok with...y'know...this?"

"Bella, my parents are thrilled. They are beyond thrilled. If we ever break up they will probably get rid of me and keep you."

Bella frowned and removed her hand. "I'm sure that's not true," she said, looking down at the floor of his car.

Edward pulled up in front of Charlie's house and put the car in park. He reached over and caught her hand again and brought it to his lips. "Bella, as far as I am concerned, that is never going to be an issue." She looked up and gave him a watery smile as Jasper and Alice pulled up behind them.

Bella took a deep breath. "You ready for this?" Edward nodded and gave her knuckles another kiss before opening the door. He walked around to open her door, and placed his hand solidly on her back as they approached the front door.

****r~d****

_Here we go._

Jasper reached up to ring the doorbell, but before he could reach the small button the door swung open to reveal their father. Charlie wore jeans and a flannel shirt, both of which had seen better days.

"Jasper! Alice! Come on in! Edward, this is a surprise." He reached out to shake Edward's hand.

"Good to see you, sir," Edward intoned as he returned the handshake.

"Bella! Good to see you baby!" He wrapped one arm around her in a half-hug. "Looks like you've lost a little weight, good for you!"

"Happy Birthday dad," Bella said, with a smile. She didn't think anyone could see the work behind it.

They entered the living room and sat down, making small talk. After a few minutes of listening to Charlie and Jasper discuss some team she had never heard of, Bella went into the kitchen to get a glass of water, taking in the overflowing trash can and pile of dirty dishes in the sink as she did. She sighed as she ran water into the sink.

_They won't miss me if I'm gone a little while._

She had failed to take Edward into account in this estimation. A few minutes later he came into the kitchen and came to stand behind her at the sink, resting his hands on either side of her waist.

"I thought maybe you got lost. Everything alright?"

Bella nodded. "I just thought I would wash these, then maybe take the trash out." Suddenly she missed Edward's warmth behind her, and looked to see where he had gone. He was lifting the bag out of the trashcan, picking up the few items that had toppled off the pile into the floor.

"Edward...stop, you don't have to..." she sputtered, but it was useless, he was already out the door with the bag. As he reentered the kitchen, she shook her head at him. "You're a guest Edward, you don't need to empty the trash."

"You're a guest too, and you're washing the dishes," Edward pointed out.

"That's different," Bella insisted. Edward gave her a look and picked up a dishtowel. Bella sighed in surrender. It was nice to have the company, at least.

When they returned to the living room, Alice gave them a little smile, but Charlie didn't even notice. They sat and listened to he and Jasper discuss the various strengths and weaknesses of several baseball teams, and then Charlie turned his attention to Bella.

"What you up to these days, Bell? Still going to college?"

"Yes, I am still in grad school dad. I've got a teaching assistantship."

"Hunh. Guess they let anyone teach in those colleges these days. You ever gonna graduate?"

"Yes, dad, I am going to graduate."

"You talk to Jacob much?" Charlie was friends with Jacob's father, and had encouraged Jacob's pursuit of Bella.

"Sometimes, dad. We're both busy."

There was an awkward pause as the conversation lagged. Alice broke the silence by asking Charlie about his latest fishing expedition, and he turned his focus from Bella. Edward leaned over and asked quietly, "you ok?" Bella nodded tightly. Edward reached over to take Bella's hand in his, and she tried to pull away, but he persisted, firmly intertwining his fingers through hers. After a few more minutes of fishing talk, Charlie turned his attention back to his daughter. He took in the sight of their joined hands with a speculative eye.

"What's this Bella? Thought you and Edward were just friends?"

"We were, dad."

"Well?" Charlie eyed the two of them suspiciously.

Bella was searching for the right words when Edward spoke up. "Bella is my best friend Charlie, that will never change. I recently realized just how much I care about her, and I am very lucky that she returns my feelings."

"Lucky, hunh? So, which one of you moved out of that apartment?"

Bella rolled her eyes. She'd been dreading this moment. "Neither of us, dad."

Charlie glared at the two of them. "I will not have any daughter of mine living in sin with some boy!"

"Dad, calm down. No one's 'living in sin'. We're just roommates."

"Bella, I never liked you living with that boy, and now...move out!" Charlie yelled, standing up and approaching the couch where they sat.

_Wow, check out the color of his face. I hope he doesn't have a heart attack or something._

"Dad, I am an adult, and I will live wherever I want." Bella did not yell, her voice was calm and cold, and she remained seated. She did not look up.

"This is not acceptable! It would be different if you were married, but we all know _that's_ not gonna happen! " Charlie retorted, bellowing down at the two of them.

"Sir, I," Edward began, but he was cut off by more shouting from Charlie.

"Shut up, boy, this is between me and my daughter!"

Bella stood up abruptly and looked Charlie in the face for the first time since the beginning of their exchange. "Edward loves me, and you may not speak to him like that. We're leaving." Edward rose behind her. "Jasper, Alice, we'll see you later," Bella said, never taking her eyes from Charlie's nearly purple face. Then she turned and walked out, not checking to see if Edward followed her.

****r~d****

By the time Edward could smile a quick goodbye at a very embarrassed Alice and Jasper, grab their jackets and the purse Bella had forgotten in her anger, and make it out the door after her, Bella was leaning with both hands on the roof of his Volvo, head bowed. He couldn't tell from a distance if she was crying, but her posture indicated nothing short of despair. He hurried to get to her, and laid his hand on her trembling shoulder. "Bella? Are you alright?"

She jerked her shoulder, dislodging his hand. "I'm fine," she replied, her voice tight and cold.

"Thanks for standing up for me in there. I'm so sorry you had to go through that." He placed his hand on her again, this time on her back. She flinched away and turned around. Although she was now facing him, she did not meet his eyes.

"Can we just go?" she asked, her face hard.

"Sure." Edward reached around her to unlock and open her door. As he walked around the front of the vehicle, he saw Alive and Jasper emerge from the house. They jogged toward the car. Edward walked out and met them halfway, not knowing if Bella would appreciate company in her current mood.

"She ok?" Jasper asked when they met in the yard.

"I don't know," Edward answered, glancing in the direction of the car. "Look Jas, I know he's your father, but..."

"He's an ass? I know," Jasper interrupted, shooting a dark look towards the house. "Next year we forget he has a birthday. And maybe Thanksgiving and Christmas too. Look man, he was out of line in there. I am so sorry."

"Thanks."

"You guys are going to your parents' house now, right? That will be good for her, she loves your parents," Alice interjected.

"Yeah. I don't know if she wants to see anyone right now though, including me," Edward said ruefully, looking at the car again. Bella had not moved, she was sitting ramrod straight in the passenger seat, her eyes fixed straight forward.

"Could you drive around a little, let her cool off?" Jasper asked.

"Maybe. Or maybe..." Edward pulled out his phone and tapped out a quick text message to his mother. "I am going to see if they can give us some space for a little while. That way Bella won't have to be trapped in the car." He looked at her again. "I should get back to her, us standing out here talking about her probably isn't helping anything." He hugged the two of them quickly, promising to call when they got back to Seattle, and headed back in the direction of the car. Just before he arrived at the driver's side door, his phone chimed, indicating a new text message. He quickly read the message from his mother.

_Certainly, we will run out and get some coffee. Leaving now. I hope everything is alright. See you soon. Love you._

Just then, Edward saw his parents' car drive down the street past them, his mom waving. He did not wave back, not wanting to alert Bella to anything unusual. She sighed in relief at how well that had worked out. He pulled the door open and seated himself next to a very rigid Bella.

"Ready to head to my house?" he asked. "My parents aren't there, my mom sent me a message that they ran out for a bit, so it will be just us." _It's not a lie, really._

Bella seemed to relax a bit, and she nodded, not taking her eyes off the windshield. Edward's house was only two away, but the homes were widely spaced, so it took a few minutes for them to pull into the drive. Edward loved this house - it was large and comfortable, without being ostentatious. He opened his door and went around the car to open the door for Bella, but before he could get there she was already out. He removed their overnight bags from the trunk, refusing to surrender Bella's when she reached for it - thankfully, she didn't argue. After entering the front door, Edward dropped their bags and grabbed Bella's hand.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Ok, what do you want to do?" Edward was desperate to do something, anything, to help Bella erase the events of the past hour, but he knew he couldn't, and after years of experience he also knew that until she decided to let him in it was useless to push.

"Can I just...I want to be alone for a while, is that ok?" Bella looked up at him for the first time since leaving her house, and the look in her eyes disturbed him.

"That's perfectly ok. You want to go up to your room?" Bella nodded, so Edward picked up their bags and led her up the stairs to the guest room that had been designated as hers when they were younger. He opened the door and sat her bag just inside the doorway. "Yell if you need anything, ok? She nodded again. She entered the room and had almost closed the door when she swung it open again.

"Edward?" Her voice was tiny.

He turned at the sound. "Yes, love?" He raised his eyebrows expectantly, waiting.

She bit her lip, seemingly unable to speak again.

Edward took a chance. Knowing she might push him away again, he went to her and enfolded her in his arms. She held herself stiffly for a moment, then softened, wrapping her arms around his abdomen. They stood like that for a long time, Edward trying to pour all the love and strength he could into the embrace. Too soon she pulled away ad he released her. Without another word she disappeared into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Edward stood looking at the outside of the door for a few minutes, then picked up his own bag from where it had fallen, forgotten, and went to drop it off in his old bedroom before going to call his mother.

****r~d****

After closing the door, Bella leaned back against the door. Pulling herself away from Edward had been nearly impossible, and it took all of her self-control not to yank the door open and run back to him. She couldn't do that though - if she had spent one more minute in the cocoon of his arms she was going to lose control, and she couldn't let that happen. She looked at the room - it was like going back in time. Nothing had changed since the last time she had been here. The muted, comforting colors, the quilt in patterns of yellow and green, the beautiful dark furniture. She even recognized a few of her old paperbacks in the small bookshelf. The room looked like it had been designed for her, and she had always felt more at home here than in her cramped room at Charlie's. She had, on occasion, wondered if Esme had actually selected the decor with her in mind, but she had never had the nerve to ask.

Bella sat on the bed, attempting unsuccessfully to quiet the voice in her head, the voice that repeated Charlie's words on an endless loop.

_It would be different if you were married, but we all know that's not gonna happen._

_Looks like you've lost a little weight. Good for you!_

_Guess they let anyone teach in those colleges these days._

_You ever gonna graduate?_

Soon his recent words were joined by other, older, words, still in Charlie's angry voice.

_What's wrong with you girl? Can't you do anything right?_

_Go change your clothes, you look like a whale._

_You are the most useless creature God ever put on this Earth. Go do something useful, if you can._

_No man is ever gonna want you unless you fix yourself._

_What do you want to go to college for? You're wasting your time._

_Edward's here. Couldn't get a real prom date, hunh? _

_Good thing it'll be dark, no one will see that dress._

_Stop crying, nobody wants to see that._

Bella wiped angrily at the tears that spilled down her cheeks. She lay down on the bed, hands over her ears in a useless gesture. She knew the voices were inside her head and that covering her ears wouldn't change their volume, but she never stopped hoping. She wished there was a pause button for the tracks playing in her brain, or a way to erase them altogether.

_I'm like a broken ipod, she_ thought, a slightly hysterical giggle escaping her lips.

She roughly wiped the remaining moisture from her face and curled up on the bed. After a long while staring at the texture of the wall, she escaped into sleep.

_Edward and Alice were dancing, an odd, jerky, back-and-forth, up-and-down kind of dance, to bouncy, circus-y music. Bella look around the room to find Jasper and Charlie in the corner of the brightly lit room, playing an accordion and what looked like an old-fashioned washboard. They both looked at her, continuing to play, and said together "Play the Bella, Bella!"_

_Confused, Bella continued to examine the room and found, in another corner, Renee making pancakes on a griddle that was perched on the back of a large black-and white patterned cow. When Bella caught her eye, she sang out, "play the Bella, Bella!" and resumed flipping the pancakes while when hummed to the music in the room._

_She strained to see past Edward and Alice to the far corners of the room, but they were shrouded in fog. Her attempts caught the attention of Edward and Alice, who began chanting, alternating as they spun, "Play the Bella, Bella!"_

_Still mystified at the words, Bella looked down to see a bright pink violin and bow in her hands. Along the side of the violin, in shining gold script, was one word: Bella._

_Alice and Edward, Renee, Jasper, and Charlie all watched with keen interest as she made the discovery. _This must be what they mean_, she thought. Although she had never held a violin before, she had seen one played, and she balanced the instrument carefully on her shoulder. She brought the bow to the strings, and pulled it experimentally. Instead of the sound she expected, it played a long note like a trumpet. Alice began clapping her hands and jumping up and down. "Bella played the Bella! Play the Bella, Bella!"_

_Encouraged, Bella tried again, this time pushing the bow up over the strings. This time she elicited what sounded like a chord on a pipe organ. The people in the room formed a circle and began to whirl around her, chanting, "Play the Bella, Bella, play the Bella, Bella..."_

Bella? Bella? Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of her name. There, seated on the edge of the bed, gently stroking her hair from her face, was Esme. Bella blinked heavily, trying to clear the vision of the dream from her mind.

"Bella? Are you awake, sweetheart? I'm sorry if I startled you." Esme spoke in a quiet, soothing tone.

Bella sat up and pulled herself back to lean against the headboard. "No, it's ok, I was just having a really weird dream."

Esme laughed. "I know what that's like." Then her face became serious as she looked at Bella. "Are you alright, dear? Edward was very concerned. You have been up here for a couple of hours - he was going to come check on you but I asked to come up instead."

Bella nodded and looked at the wall over Esme's head. "I'm fine."

Esme nodded and patted her hand. "I'm glad to hear it." They sat in silence for a few minutes before Esme spoke again.

"Did Edward ever tell you I was married before I met Carlisle?"

Bella was shocked. "No!"

Esme chuckled. "That doesn't surprise me - he knows, obviously, but it's not something we talk about a lot. May I tell you the story?"

Bella nodded, curious about where Esme was going with this line of conversation.

"He was my high school sweetheart," Esme began in her soft voice. "He played football and baseball, and he was a star of sorts, his family was rich and well-known, and I saw myself as a homely little nobody - I had a hard time believing he would want to be with anyone like me. That's probably why I ignored so many things. He was really picky about what I wore- he didn't like it if I wore skirts he thought were too short or anything clingy. He made sure I spent all my time with him, and any time I tried to do anything with my friends he would get upset and pout about how I was ignoring him. After awhile I didn't really have any friends left. I was flattered that he wanted me all to himself, and so I didn't mind too much on the nights he would go out with _his_ friends and leave me home alone. I was assigned a lab partner for a science fair project - a nice guy a year younger than me - and he showed up at school one day with a broken arm. He told me some guys he didn't know had mugged him. There was no way I could have known that the mysterious guys were some of James's football buddies from another school nearby." Esme stopped and took a deep breath.

Bella was stunned. "Why did you - you stayed with him?"

Esme smiled sadly, and nodded. "I was 17, and he was my first boyfriend. He told me he loved me. Everybody adored him, and he was never mean or violent to me. It never occurred to me that the other stuff - wanting to control what I wore, keeping me away from my friends - wasn't completely normal. He asked me to marry him the night of the prom, and I was over the moon with happiness. We got married that summer, right after I turned 18. His parents owned a rental house, and we moved in there." Esme stopped speaking and looked directly into Bella's eyes. "Two weeks later we went to the grocery store and I apparently smiled more than he liked at the checkout guy. When we got home he called me a whore and punched me in the face."

Bella's jaw dropped, and she struggled to contain the tears that flooded her eyes. "What did you do?"

"I went in our second bedroom and locked the door. The next morning he was so apologetic - he said he was stressed because he had just started a new job, and he swore it would never happen again. That night he brought me flowers and brought home dinner. I am sorry to say I let it slide. I stayed away from my family until the bruises went away, and I never told anyone. The rest of the summer passed peacefully enough, and as fall approached I started thinking about what I wanted to do. Some of my high school teachers had encouraged me to go to college, and I was bored staying home alone all day. James didn't want me to get a job, but I thought he might be ok with me taking some college classes. When I brought it up to him, he lost it. He accused me of wanting to go just to meet other men, he called me a whore and worse, and then he hit me again." Esme clenched her jaw at the memory, and her eyes took on a cold look. "I spent the night in the guest room again, and the next day while he was a work I packed my things and left. I didn't have a car, and my mother would not come get me - she said it was up to me to make my marriage work - so I called all my old high school friends until I found one who was willing to pick me up."

Esme patted Bella's knee, trying to relieve her obvious distress. "Don't worry, the story has a happy ending." She smiled.

"Elizabeth was a great girl. She still lived with her parents, and she convinced them to take me in. They became my family when my own parents rejected me for ruining their dreams of being related to the town celebrities. Her parents helped me get a divorce and a restraining order, and her dad helped me find a job. Eventually Liz and I got our own place, but we still spent lots of time with her parents and siblings. She had an older brother who was in medical school - we saw him on holidays and weekends when he came home, and as time passed those weekends home became more and more frequent. He was wonderful to talk to, and never asked too many hard questions, although he knew there was something odd in my past. The day we finally talked about it, his first response was to ask me if I knew it wasn't my fault, all the things James did to me. I must have cried for hours after that." Esme smiled ruefully.

Bella was riveted. "What happened to him?"

Esme smiled broadly. "Right now he's downstairs losing to Edward at Guitar Hero. The day he found out he would be doing his residency in Seattle, he asked me to marry him. He said he couldn't imagine moving that far away without me. He knew my whole story, and he loved me anyway."

"So Carlisle was Elizabeth's brother?"

Esme nodded. "She's still in Ohio, where we grew up. She's Edward's godmother, and favorite aunt. Haven't you ever heard him talk about Aunt Libby?"

"Yes, but I never knew her real name was Elizabeth. That's an amazing story, Esme!"

"It's not over yet, dear. There's one important bit left. After Carlisle finished his residency we wanted to move out of the city, but neither of us wanted to go back to Ohio, so he applied for a job at the hospital in this little town called Forks. I was pregnant with Edward at the time, and you can imagine how happy I was to discover there was another mom nearby, with a toddler and another baby on the way. When my five year old son walked in the kitchen and announced that he was going to marry the little girl down the street, I knew it had all been worth it."

Esme's face turned serious and took Bella's hand. "So when I began to suspect that that same little girl down the street was having some trouble - trouble which was _not her fault_, by the way - I remembered how the Cullens had become my family and thought it was time for history to repeat itself."

Bella couldn't speak, due in large part to the huge lump that had settled itself just below her breastbone.

"Bella, I want you to know," Esme continued, "that Carlisle and I could not be more happy that you and Edward are together. It's what we've prayed for his whole life. But I also want you to know that no matter what happens between you two, we will always love you. Nothing could ever change that." Esme leaned over to hug Bella and wipe away the tears that had escaped from her wide eyes. "Now, do you think you can come downstairs? Edward is so worried about you that he almost lost a round a few minutes ago. To his father." Esme raised her eyebrows, confident that Bella would understand the significance of this statement. Bella laughed in spite of herself and nodded, climbing off to follow Esme out the door.

****r~d****

After a leisurely breakfast and a church service with his parents the next day, Edward and Bella set off on their way back to Seattle. Bella was quiet. Edward thought she was probably tired - after her nap the previous afternoon she hadn't been sleepy enough to go to bed when Carlisle and Esme had bid them goodnight, so they had sat up in the big family room, first playing video games on the Wii that Esme and Carlisle had bought themselves for Christmas a few years previously, then watching a couple of movies. Bella had been too quiet for most of the afternoon and evening, so Edward was glad to see her normal trash-talking competitive self come out playing Punch Out and Mario Kart. During the movies she had snuggled into his side, but had seemed hesitant when he leaned in to kiss her, so he contented himself with holding her until she finally drifted off halfway through _Penelope_. Not wanting to wake her, he had pulled the blanket they had been snuggled under a little higher around them and turned off the movie. Early in the morning he had awoken to a grinning Esme draping another blanket over them. He had grinned back and pulled Bella a little closer, then dozed again.

He felt her lean her head on his shoulder, her fingers woven through his. He smiled as he considered the package resting in his left pocket, the package that had been his primary reason for wanting to see his parents. That morning, while Bella was in the shower, Edward had approached his father and asked for it. Esme had squealed like a child and Carlisle had clapped him on the back before pulling him into a hug. Edward was sure they were going to spill the secret before he and Bella could get away - Esme teared up every time she looked at either of them and Carlisle introduced then to people at church as "our son Edward and his Bella", at which Bella always ducked her head and blushed a beautiful pink. Edward had rolled his eyes at his parents antics, but he could not bring himself to be really annoyed at them - even though they were generally pretty happy people, he had never seen them quite this ecstatic.

He looked down at Bella again and saw that her eyes were closed. Judging by the slow rise and fall of her belly and the slackening of her grip on his hand, it was safe to assume that she had fallen asleep. He slowly slid his hand into his left pocket, wanting to assure himself that the package was really there. A small satin bag, containing two rings - one a plain platinum band, the other a circlet of diamonds surrounding a larger stone, both once belonging to Carlisle's mother. She was still alive, but had switched to a much simpler plain band a few years prior and passed the rings to Carlisle and Esme to hold for Edward to give to his someday bride. Because of all that happened when Esme was younger, Edward and his grandmother had a special relationship. Edward could hardly wait to see her reaction when she heard the news that the time had come for him to use the rings. Slowly, so he did not disturb her sleep, he extracted his hand from Bella's and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Grinning broadly, he drove and dreamed about their future.


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own anything Twilight, it's all SM's. I don't own any Manolos either. So sad.

"Edward, have you seen my shoes?"

"Edward?"

"Edward?" Bella emerged from her room to find Edward seated at his keyboard with large headphones covering his ears. She walked over to him and waited for him to notice her. When he did, he started in surprise and his fingers skittered over the keys. He pressed his lips together, tapped the touchpad on the laptop next to him, and turned to her, removing his headphones.

"What do you need Bella? I have to get this done, it's already late."

"Oh, sorry. Have you seen my shoes?"

Edward sighed. "Bella, you have a lot of shoes. Have you checked in the living room?"

"No, I'll go look now. Go back to playing." Bella turned to exit, but was stopped by Edward's voice.

"When are you leaving?"

Bella checked the clock on the wall. "As soon as I find my shoes. I am meeting everybody at 7."

"Do you think you could pick up my gray suit from the cleaners? They close at 8, and I don't think they are open on Saturday. I want to wear it tomorrow night."

"Sure thing." Bella turned to leave again, only to hear Edward call out once more.

"Oh, and Bella," Edward said with his best smile, "can I have a kiss goodbye?"

Bella stood in the doorway for a moment, pretending to consider his request. "I suppose," she said finally, faking a deep sigh. She crossed the room to him and leaned down to place a kiss on his lips. As she raised her head, his hand snuck up to cradle the back of her neck and pull her down again. Finally she pulled away from his hand. "I really have to go," she told him sadly, and kissed her fingers, then pressed them to his pouting lips. "I'll probably be late, don't wait up. I'll see you in the morning."

"I love you. Have fun"

"Love you too."

Bella left him to search the living room where, just as Edward had suggested, she found her prize, one shoe laying under the coffee table, the other wedged under the sofa. Seeing the various items scattered around the room, she resolved to clean them all up the next day. She retrieved her purse from its perch on the arm of the sofa and dashed out the door.

It was graduation weekend, and there were abundant festivities. Bella was on her way to meet a group of girls, both graduating seniors and alumni, from the Beatice Society, the literary honor fraternity of which she was a member. When Bella had been tapped for membership as a freshman, she had been so shocked that she had almost turned them down, thinking they must have the wrong person. Fortunately, Alice and Edward had convinced her to join, and Bella would readily confess that it had been one of the best decisions she'd made. It was a great organization, and because of it Bella had had lots of opportunities she would not have otherwise experienced.

Tonight wasn't about opportunity though, this was purely celebration, and Bella intended to celebrate. She made her way to The White Rabbit, a small bar a few blocks from her apartment, and a frequent haunt of the Beas.

_This is gonna be fun._

****r~d****

Edward overslept Saturday morning, due in large part to the hours he had spent the night before trying to get the track he been working on recorded and emailed. It had already been late, thanks to some last-minute changes made by the composer, and Edward disliked being late almost as much as he disliked working from home. His keyboard was top of the line, but he could not get the sound quality with it that he could on the grand piano at the studio. In addition to that, almost immediately after Bella left, his computer began to malfunction. It refused to record properly, forcing Edward to spend four times as much time playing as it would normally take to lay down a track like this. Once he got the track recorded, his internet connection stopped working and his attempts to email the file to his producer failed repeatedly. Once the internet came back, Edward had sighed with relief and sent the file, only to have his computer shut down unexpectedly. He finally got the file sent just before two am, and he had fallen into bed, exhausted.

_I hope Bella had a better night than I did. I wonder what time she got home?_

He padded out into the living room and shook his head at the scene before him. There was stuff everywhere. Bella's shoes littered the floor, several sweaters and jackets were tossed over the back of the sofa, a large pile of books and dishes were scattered over the coffee table, and her purse lay in the floor next to the front door, her keys next to it. Bella was never particularly tidy, but this week had been worse than most, as she attempted to finish the work required for her own classes and grade everything for her TA sections. Edward started to gather the clothes, but he stopped and dropped them back onto the furniture. She had assured him again and again she would pick everything up - he'd let her take care of it.

It was already after eleven, and there was no sound emanating from Bella's room. He remembered her mentioning plans this afternoon with some friends who were in from out of town, so he decided to go see if she was awake.

_Besides_, he thought. _I've missed her, I want to see her._

Remembering the aftermath of several other outings with the Beas, Edward detoured into the kitchen for a large glass of water, some crackers, and a couple of ibuprofen. Then he approached her door and knocked gently. There was no response.

He knocked again, and called for her quietly. "Bella?" He heard a groan from inside the room.

_There's my girl_.

He pushed the door open to find Bella, still in her clothes from the previous evening, with her pillow over her head. He approached the bed and sat gingerly on the edge, placing the water, crackers, and pills on the nightstand. He reached out and softly stroked her back.

"Bella? Sweetheart, it's time to wake up."

"Mmeeph ooo dah" came from under the pillow.

"What was that?"

Bella turned her head and emerged from beneath the pillow, opening one eye, smeared with leftover makeup, at him. "Keep doing that," she croaked, and returned the pillow to its previous position.

Edward chuckled and complied with her request, rubbing her back from shoulders to waist for a few minutes. Then he stopped and rested his hand between her shoulder blades.

"Sit up, baby. I brought you some food. You'll feel better if you eat something."

Bella groaned again, but she rolled over and pulled herself into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard. She silently took the water and pills Edward offered, and leaned her head back, eyes closed, nibbling a cracker.

"Did you have fun?" Bella nodded but did not open her eyes.

Edward adjusted his position so that he could reach around behind her to massage the back of her neck. She let her head fall forward, and a soft moan escaped her lips. After a few minutes Edward spoke again.

"How much do I owe you for the suit?"

Bella lifted her head slightly and opened one eye. "The what?"

"The suit? My gray suit you picked up from the cleaners last night? How much was the cleaning?"

Bella's head dropped into her hands. "Crap."

Edward took a deep breath. "You didn't pick it up?"

Bella shook her head, not lifting it from where it rested in her hands.

_Dammit._

"I'll go call them." Edward didn't trust himself to say anything else at the moment. He left the room and located his phone, then searched through the phone book for the number of the dry cleaner nearby. A phone call revealed that they were open...until noon. Edward checked the clock on the microwave. 11:40.

Edward didn't bother changing clothes. He pulled on his running shoes and went to the rack next to the door for his jacket. It wasn't there.

_Bella must have borrowed it without telling me. Again._

Edward shook his head and ran into his room to get his wallet, then bolted out the front door.

****r~d****

_Did he have to slam the door so loud? _Bella's head spun as she pulled herself out of bed. She would have loved a bit more sleep, it had been after 4 when she arrived home, but she had a lot to do that day, and she knew if she went back to sleep now she would not get up for hours. She entered the bathroom and turned on the shower to allow the water to get hot, then realized there were no clean towels in the bathroom. She went to retrieve one from the linen closet in the hall and grabbed the last one on the shelf.

_Did I forget to do laundry? _

The past week had been one of the craziest she had experienced in a long time. She had finished papers for two classes, taken three finals, and had graded so many freshman compositions that she had started to dream about being eaten by a badly written essay on _Moby Dick_. She had barely eaten or slept since Monday, and there was no sign of the pressure letting up. Today she was supposed to have coffee with several friends who were graduating on Sunday, and tonight was the grad night ball - a formal affair for graduates, alumni, and their guests. Bella and Edward had been unable to attend the previous year, and she was excited about going. Alice and Jasper would be there, as well as Alice's brother Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie. With some help from Alice she had picked out the perfect dress and shoes, and she couldn't want to see Edward's reaction. She hoped he wasn't too angry.

_I can't believe I forgot to get his suit. _ _Stupid stupid stupid!_

Bella heard the front door opening as she emerged from the bathroom in her bathrobe, rubbing her hair with her towel. Edward was in the living room, holding his gray suit.

"Oh, you got it! That's great! I am so sorry Edward, I was running late and I just...forgot."

Edward smiled at her tightly. "Don't worry about it, it's fine. What time are you supposed to meet your friends?"

"I've got some time. Have you had breakfast? I guess it's lunch by now. Anyway, have you eaten?" Edward shook his head. She approached him and gently kissed his cheek. "Give me a few minutes to dry my hair and we can eat lunch, ok?" Edward nodded and she retreated into her room.

_That wasn't too bad_, she thought. _He didn't seem that upset. _

When she entered the kitchen a few minutes later, Edward had already gotten out the bread and cheese and was turning on a burner. "Grilled cheese ok?" he asked. "I seem to recall that being your hangover food of choice."

"It's perfect."

"I picked up the mail on the way in," Edward said, indicating a pile of letters on the table. "There's something there for you, it looks kind of official."

Bella picked up the letter in question from the table. Her eyes widened as she noticed the return address. She tore open the envelope eagerly and unfolded the paper inside.

_Dear Ms. Swan_

_While we greatly appreciate your interest in the Stratford Fellowship, we regret to inform you that after reviewing all applicants, we will not be offering you a position for the upcoming academic year. The Stratford Foundation is always searching for talented students, and we encourage you to continue..._

Bella stopped reading as her eyes suddenly blurred. She dropped the letter back onto the table and picked up the sandwich Edward set in front of her, studying a spot on the table in front of her.

"Bad news?"

"It's nothing."

"May I?" Edward asked, picking up the letter. Bella shrugged. He perused the letter for a moment, his forehead creasing.

"What's the Stratford Fellowship?" He asked.

Bella hesitated a moment before answering. "It's an intensive Shakespeare study program. I applied awhile back, I didn't want to say anything until I heard whether I got in." She continued focusing on the table.

"It says you can re-apply next semester."

She shrugged again. "Maybe."

Edward continued to examine the letter. "Bella, where is this fellowship exactly?"

Bella swallowed a bite of her sandwich. "London."

They ate in heavy silence for a long while. Finally Bella pushed herself away from the table and dropped her plate in the sink. "I guess I should get ready," she said, her voice quiet. She didn't move toward the door though, rather, she stood leaning against the counter.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"May I ask...when did you apply for this?" he asked, indicating the letter still lying on the table.

Bella didn't meet his eyes. "I don't know...February maybe?" Then she turned and left the kitchen.

****r~d****

Edward sat at the table for a long time after Bella left. He tried not to think about what he saw on the letter in front of him, but he couldn't seem to erase the words from his mind. Below the notification of Bella's rejection there was information about re-application, including deadlines.

_Autumn applications due 15 October_

_Spring applications due 15 March_

_Maybe the deadline was different this year. _

_Maybe she sent it in early. _

Despite his best efforts to convince himself otherwise, Edward had to face the truth. Bella had never turned anything in early in her life. Spring applications were due March 15. She had applied for a program in London after they had been together almost a month, and she had not even seen fit to mention it to him. Not only that, but when he had asked her about it, she had lied. He didn't know what to think.

Edward stood and picked up his dishes from the table and placed them in the dishwasher, then began to clean the kitchen. As he finished loading the dishwasher, he heard Bella call out from the living room.

"Bye Edward, I'll be back later!"

"Bella, we need to..." he cut his words off as he heard the front door close.

Edward spent his afternoon in aimlessness. He watched television, but could not have recounted the plot of the programs he watched. He tried to play his keyboard, but he found that his fingers would not cooperate. Finally he fell asleep on the sofa, after moving several of Bella's books to the floor. He awoke with Bella bent over him, shaking his shoulder gently.

"Edward, we have to leave in an hour."

Edward sat up, shaking the sleep from his brain. "Bella, can we talk?"

"Later, ok? We need to get ready now." She dashed out of the living room into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Edward sighed and pulled himself up, heading for the shower.

_Later._

****r~d****

"Edward?"

Bella entered the living room in her dress, barefoot, to find Edward seated on the sofa in his charcoal gray suit, paired with a black shirt and a gray silk tie. He looked breathtaking, if a little...irritated?

"Yes Bella," he replied, not looking up.

"Have you seen my shoes?"

Edward took a deep breath. "Yes Bella, I have. In fact, all I see is shoes. No, that's not true, I also see clothes, books, and dishes." He stood and turned to face her. "You know the only thing I don't see Bella? The only thing I _don't_ see is the floor!"

Bella was taken aback at the tone of Edward's voice, and the fury she saw on his face. She began to stammer a reply, but he cut her off.

"You know what else I didn't see? I didn't see any towels when I took a shower, so I got to dry off with my robe."

The sarcasm in his voice made Bella angry. "Your arms aren't broken Edward. You can do laundry, you know," she bit back.

"Oh, I know. In fact, I am pretty sure I am the only person in this house who can. I'm also the only person who can wash dishes, or buy groceries, or put anything away, or pick up the damn dry-cleaning!"

"Gee Edward, I am so sorry that my education has so inconvenienced you. Next time I'll forget about writing my papers and doing my job so I can be your maid." Bella's voice was cold.

"I'm not the one who needs a maid. I know how to clean up after myself, remember?" Edward smirked at her.

"Fine!" Bella shouted. "You want me to clean, I'll clean!" She walked around the living room, collecting items haphazardly. When she had an armful, she walked to her bedroom door and flung them into her room. "Happy now?"

Edward picked up a sneaker from the floor and held it out to her. "You forgot this."

Bella looked at the shoe in his hand, walked over, and gazed at it. She took it quietly out of his hand and walked back towards her bedroom, then hurled it into her room. Edward heard a crash from inside her room as she turned to face him. "Enjoy your nice clean living room, Edward." she said, her voice oddly calm. "I hope the two of you are very happy together."

"Oh no you don't!" Edward said, walking towards where she stood in her doorway and grasping her arm. "You don't get to just walk out and make some smart-ass comment and think that's it."

"Yes, I do. See, this is the part where I'm done talking to you." Bella jerked her arm away and turned towards the open door to her room.

"Bella, I'm sorry I yelled but..,this is a problem. We have to deal with this."

Bella turned again to face him. "We have to deal with this? You mean _you_ have to deal with _me_. Too bad Edward, so sorry I can't be whatever perfect little girlfriend you had in mind. Now go away," she gasped, barely containing the sob in her throat.

"Bella, please..."

"No!" Bella rounded on Edward. "Don't you get it? I don't want to talk to you! I don't want to see you, I don't want to know you exist! Now leave me alone!" She entered her room and slammed the door.

****r~d****

_Shit._

Edward wandered leaned against the wall, wracked with pain at Bella's words. He could hear her crying on the other side of the door as he slid down the wall to the floor.

_What do I do now? What the hell just happened?_

Edward thought back over the last few minutes. He wasn't typically an angry person, and he was ashamed at the memory of his own words and the way he had spoken to Bella. Part of his brain rebelled against the regret, reminding him of all the reasons he had to be angry, all of the little inconsiderations Bella had shown him lately.

_She over-reacted, that's all_, he thought. _Maybe I should have handled it differently, but her reaction was all out of proportion._

The thought didn't make him feel any better. He pulled himself off the floor and wondered into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He sat down at the table and had pulled out his phone to let Jasper know they wouldn't be coming when he heard a door open and close. He went into the hallway to investigate and found Bella's bedroom door open and the bathroom door closed. He stood there for a moment, taking in the sight of the items scattered around the room and a broken picture on the floor, when the bathroom door opened and Bella emerged. She stopped when she saw him, and her face tightened.

"Bella, I'm..."

"We need to go," she interrupted shortly. "People are expecting us, and we're late." She passed by him, squeezing herself against the wall as she did, and entered her room. Over the past few months they had developed a playful little ritual - every time they passed in the small hallway, Bella would wrap her arms around his waist and he would spin her around before they continued down the hall. Edward's heart lurched when he saw her taking such pains to avoid touching him.

"Let's go," she said as she emerged from the room again, her face hard and her eyes dull. She strode into the living room and out the door, not looking back. Edward grabbed his car keys from the hook next to the door and followed her to the elevator.

The drive was silent except for the sound of the car and he traffic around them. Bella sat stonily, looking steadily out the passenger side window. When they arrived, Edward tried to open Bella's door for her, but she was already out of the car by the time he got there. She began walking into the building, but he wrapped his hand around her upper arm and turned her to face him. Her expression was carefully composed as she looked at him blankly.

"Bella, I get that you are mad at me, and maybe I deserve it, but can we at least _try_ to have a good time tonight?"

Sure," she replied. "Good time. Got it." She smiled, and the sight nearly broke Edward's heart. He knew that smile, he had seen it more than once over the course of their friendship. It fooled most people; it hadn't fooled him since they were fifteen. He sighed and pulled her arm through his as they entered the building.

Immeasurable hours later, Edward sat and toyed with the remains of his dinner, not really paying attention to anything around him, and considered his options for making an escape. Bella was on the dance floor with Emmett, and Jasper had asked Rosalie, so he was at their table alone. He looked up as Alice sat down next to him.

"Edward? Are you alright?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he lied.

"How's it going? With you and Bella, I mean?"

Edward's shoulders slumped. "It's..." His head fell into his hand.

Alice reached across the table to take his free hand. "What's wrong?"

"We had a fight."

"Okay. So you had a fight. You'll make up." Alice's voice was light.

"I don't know Alice," Edward replied as he shook his head. "I think there's more to it."

"Like?" Alice prompted.

"I wish I knew. Something's off though. She's holding back. It's like she's biding her time or something."

Alice nodded, waiting for him to continue.

_What the hell,_ he thought. _Might as well see if she has anything useful to suggest, things can't get any worse._

"She's driving me crazy, Alice. I love her. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone. I want to marry her. That day we went to Forks for Charlie's birthday, I got my grandmother's rings from my dad. But every time I bring up the future, she changes the subject. Some days she acts like I am all she wants, and other days she does things - I swear she does stuff to make me mad on purpose, and then she gets so upset, and I have started to wonder if I am losing my mind."

"Like she wants you to leave her, but is terrified you might actually do it?"

Edward looked up at Alice in amazement. "Exactly like that. How did you know?"

Alice laughed. "I married her brother, remember?"

Edward considered her words. "Alice, what the hell is going on?"

She considered for a long moment. "I don't _know_. All I can do is guess. And even then...Edward, it's not my story to tell." Alice looked sympathetically at him. "You need to talk to Bella."

Edward huffed in frustration. "I've tried. I learned my lesson, I know we have to talk to each other for this to work. But every time I try, she shuts down. She insists everything is fine, or she remembers a paper she has to work on or a TV show she wants to watch...sometimes I want to throw the damn television out the window. I don't know what else to do!"

Alice waited a moment before she spoke. "Did you know that Jasper broke off our engagement?"

Edward was a little taken aback at the abrupt change of subject, but he knew Alice rarely did anything without a reason, so he played along. "No. When?" He was genuinely surprised, as he had been Jasper's best man. Surely he should have known.

"I'm not surprised. We only broke up for a few days. It was about a month after he asked me to marry him. He and Bella had gone to Forks for something, I don't remember what, and when he got back, it was like he was a different man. He spent three days barely acknowledging me, and when I finally had enough and forced him to talk, he told me he couldn't marry me."

Edward was astounded. "Why?" Jasper had loved Alice from practically the first time he had seen her. Alice had tagged along when Bella had come to help him move in with Edward when he returned to Seattle, and that night Jasper had spent an hour interrogating Edward about "that amazing girl who's friends with Bella". He had asked her out three days later, and they had been together ever since, or so Edward had thought.

"He said he didn't have any idea how to be a husband, and that I would be better off with someone else. He said that if he married me that I would end up getting hurt." Alice looked straight into Edward's eyes. "And then he said he knew I wanted kids, and that he didn't want to have any, that he would probably hurt them too." Alice looked directly into Edward's face and raised her eyebrows.

Something clicked in Edward's brain. "Alice, did Charlie…did he..." he trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

"As far as I know, he never touched Jasper." Alice looked down at the table, then back up into Edward's eyes.

_Holy shit._

Suddenly so much made sense - a thousand little memories fit together like puzzle pieces, and Edward was torn between the urge to drive to Forks and punch Charlie in the face and the desire to go find Bella and hold her for hours.

_How on earth have we been friends our whole lives and I never knew?_

Alice spoke again, distracting Edward from his emotions. "Bella told me one time that one of the things she loved about you was that you didn't push her to talk when she didn't want to. If she hasn't told you anything, there's probably a reason. It may not be a good reason, but I am sure she has one. The only reason I know anything is that I wouldn't agree to get back together with Jasper unless he told me what the heck had happened." Alice paused to take a deep breath.

"Edward, I am not going to lie to you. It hasn't been easy. It's not easy now. Some of the things Jasper told me..." she trailed off, and a shadow crossed her face. "He started seeing someone after we got back together, and we've gotten some counseling together, and that helped. But those kinds of wounds, well, they don't go away overnight. His ideas about what love was supposed to look like were all screwed up. Jas told me once that it's like you see the world through a dirty window, but you don't know that the window can be clean, you just think that's the way things are."

"What should I do, Alice?" Edward's words were raw with emotion.

"Love her, Edward, and let her talk when she needs to. It's not an excuse though; it's not ok for her to mistreat you or anything. I had a hard time with that one, I wanted to excuse too much when I found out about his past. Bella's actions are her choice, and sometimes those choices have natural consequences."

Edward nodded.

"Look, they're coming back. I'm glad we had the chance to talk. Jas won't mind what I told you, he has asked me before how much I thought you knew about Bella's past. We both want you two to be happy." Alice stood, her tiny frame barely taller than Edward sitting down, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders and squeezed tightly. "You can always call if you need to talk, ok?"

Edward nodded again, not sure how to respond to the information he had just been given, and watched and Bella, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper all crossed the room toward the table.

****r~d****

"Are you ready to go?" Bella hated to ask Edward to leave early, but the night had not gone anything like she had hoped, her head was pounding and her feet were aching. The patent leather Manolos Alice had picked out for her were beautiful, but not kind on the feet. The evening had been, as Alice would say, a waste of a good Vera Wang. Bella was disappointed. She had been so excited about her dress, it was exactly Edward's favorite color and she loved it - she had been reluctant when Alice had handed it to her in the dressing room – it looked like something Alice would have made for her dolls when she was seven - but as soon as she put it on and saw her reflection she had known it was perfect. Not only had he not noticed the dress, he hated her. Her dreams of a perfect evening in a perfect dress with Edward had turned into ashes and been replaced with visions of being dumped by the only man she had ever loved.

"Almost." Edward stood and took Bella's hands in his. "Have I told you how lovely you are tonight?"

"No," Bella replied, her eyes downcast.

"Well, you are beautiful. You make the rest of these girls look like...well, something less beautiful than you." Edward smiled ruefully. "Will you dance with me before we leave?"

Bella shrugged. Edward apparently took that as assent, because he led her to the dance floor. The opening notes of Colorblind by Counting Crows sounded as they reached the edge of the dance floor, and Bella felt Edward's arms encircle her body.

_I am color...blind_

_Coffee black and egg white_

_Pull me out from inside_

_I am ready_

_I am ready_

_I am ready_

_I am_

Edward's ran his hand gently up he curve of Bella's spine, bringing goosebumps to her skin. Her head rested in the crook of his neck, and she savored the smell of his skin.

_Taffy stuck, tongue tied_

_Stuttered shook and uptight_

_Pull me out from inside_

_I am ready_

_I am ready_

_I am ready_

_I am...fine _

She memorized the texture of the fabric under her fingertips, and the feel of his body against hers, his arms tight around her as they swayed slowly together.

_I am covered in skin_

_No one gets to come in_

_Pull me out from inside_

_I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding_

_I am colorblind_

_Coffee black and egg white_

_Pull me out from inside_

_I am ready_

_I am ready_

_I am ready_

_I am...fine_

_I am... fine_

_I am fine _

As the final notes sounded, Bella pulled away. She could not look up at him, instead she turned and left the dance floor, Edward following behind her. She stopped to pick up her small clutch purse and continued out to his car.

The ride home was as silent as their earlier trip had been, but this time Bella had no fury to fuel her; now she was just tired, and afraid. They had reached their floor and unlocked the door before Edward spoke.

"We need to talk."

"I know."

"I am going to go change, alright?"

Bella nodded her understanding and went to her room to change as well. _It would be a shame to ruin the dress with a breakup_, she thought darkly. When she returned to the living room in sweatpants and a t-shirt she found Edward already there, dressed similarly, idly toying with a tassel on one of the throw pillows. She sat down at the opposite end of the sofa and pulled her legs to her chest.

"You wanted to talk?" she said. She dreaded what was about to happen, but she supposed it was better to go ahead with it rather than delaying the inevitable. _Be strong_, she thought. _No crying. No one wants to see that._

"Yeah." Edward continued to play with the tassel for a moment, focusing on the pillow.

"Bella, I don't know how to say this."

_So don't_, she thought, but aloud she replied, "just say it."

"OK." Edward took a deep breath before speaking again. "Bella, I want to know...no, I need to know...did Charlie ever...did he, um, hurt you?"

"I totally understand, Edward...wait... what?"

Edward looked up at her, surprise in his green eyes. "You understand...what?"

"Could you repeat the question?"

"I wanted to know about Charlie...and you."

"Oh." _ Is he afraid Charlie will be mad we broke up? He'll just say he knew it wouldn't last. _"What about me and Charlie?"

"Bella, I want to know...no, I need to know...did he ever hurt you?"

Bella blushed and looked away from Edward's gaze, her eyes filling against her will. She swiped a hand across them before she spoke. "Do we have to talk about this?"

"Yeah, I think we do."

"I don't want to. There's nothing to talk about."

"You're lying, Bella. Don't you think after almost 23 years I know when you are lying?" Edward's voice was gentle.

"He's an ass, you know that." Bella wasn't sure what Edward was searching for, but this was the last conversation she had planned to have tonight.

"That's not all though, is it?"

"Look," Bella said impatiently. "He was a jerk, okay? He's still a jerk, and I don't want to talk about him. Can you just go ahead and break up with me so I can go to bed?"

Edward's head jerked up. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"What are _you_ talking about?"

"Who's breaking up?"

"You are," Bella replied, "with me. Isn't that what you wanted to talk about?"

Edward looked stunned. "Where on earth did you get that idea?" Then his expression turned from shock to one of near despair, and his voice dropped, suddenly hoarse. "Do you _want_ me to break up with you?"

"No." The word was barely audible. "I just thought...you were so angry...nevermind. I'm stupid." Bella stood up and turned to leave, but stopped when she heard Edward's voice again.

"Bella, wait. Please, just listen."

Bella did not speak, but she sat back down and looked at her hands, twisting her fingers together. Edward reached over and gently took them both in his.

"Sweetheart, you aren't stupid. Please don't say that. Yes, we had a fight. Yes, I was mad at you. But that didn't mean I stopped loving you. Yesterday I thought I loved you more than I could possibly love anyone, and today I woke up and loved you more. Tomorrow I will wake up and find new ways to love you. I have loved you my whole life. You are a part of every memory I have. I loved 7 year old Bella that pushed me down, and 13 year old Bella that insisted on painting my fingernails, and 16 year old Bella who stole my jacket at every football game because she never brought her own. I loved the Bella I took to the prom, and the Bella who was so scared before she took her first college final that she threw up on my shoes. I even love the Bella who forgets to wash the towels. She makes me crazy, but I love her. This thing between us isn't new, it's just different, like turning the page of your favorite book and finding a chapter you never knew was there.

"Tonight, when you told me you wished I didn't exist...I had never felt pain like that before. Then I heard you crying, and that was worse. I love you so much, and I can't stand knowing I hurt you. But sweetheart, the things I said...well, I shouldn't have said them like that, but they were sort of true. I've been holding stuff in, and tonight it all boiled over. I don't know what to do, Bella. I love you too much to let you hurt yourself, or to let you continue to do things that hurt me. I don't want to upset you, but if this is going to work, we have to be able to tell each other when something is wrong, instead of waiting until it all blows up. And I want it to work, baby, I want it more than I have ever wanted anything in my entire life."

Edward felt hot tears splash onto his hands, entwined with Bella's in her lap, but he continued.

"Bella, I want you to know... I need you to know... I think you are amazing. You are the smartest woman I have ever met. You are so beautiful that sometimes I can't believe you're real. You aren't perfect, I know that, but I don't want perfect, I want you." Edward removed a hand from Bella's and cupped her cheek, gently lifting her face so she looked into his eyes.

"If you don't hear anything else, hear this. I am not your father, Bella. I can't promise that I will never do anything wrong again, I can't promise we won't fight or that I will never get angry, but whatever he did..." Edward trailed off as Bella's hands clenched around his, "I will never, ever do that to you. If you will let me, I'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you."

At Edward's final words, Bella began to cry in earnest. As her sobs escalated, Edward pulled her to him, stroking her back and whispering in her ear, words like, "I love you, sweetheart." "It's going to be ok." "Cry all you need to, I'm here." And again, "I love you."

After a while, Bella began to quiet. She clung to Edward's soaked shirt, her face still buried in his shoulder, the sound of an occasional sob still echoing in the stillness. Edward gently extricated himself and stood, pulling her up with him and lifting her into his arms. He carried her to his bedroom and lay her down on his bed, then lay down with her. They lay in the dark, face to face, not speaking, while Edward ran a caressing hand softly up and down her arm.

After a long time, Bella spoke into the darkness, her voice raspy from her storm of tears. "I'm sorry."

Edward shifted forward slightly so that his forehead rested gently against hers. "I forgive you, love. Will you forgive me?" He felt her nod, and tilted his head to place a slow, soft kiss on her lips. "Do you want to stay here tonight?" Again he felt her nod. He reached down and pulled the covers up over the two of them and slid his arm around her, pulling her close to him.

Bella woke the next morning in exactly the same position in which she had fallen asleep; her face nestled into Edward's shoulder, his arms wound tightly around her. She shifted, turning over. She felt different than she could ever remember feeling before - not guilty or depressed as she would have expected after yesterday's events, but light and contented. She was still unsure, but she felt as if something inside her she had never known was broken had finally healed. Smiling to herself, she snuggled back into Edward's embrace and drifted back to sleep.

A/N – Sorry for the delay, it's the end of my semester and I have been buried in essays to grade – mine are about mitochondrial DNA, not Moby Dick though. I tried to write something light and fun for Bella and Edward, butt hey insisted this chapter come first. Less angst in chapter 6, I promise.

If you would like to see it, here's Bella's dress:

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And her shoes:

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	6. Chapter 6

A/N – Thanks so much to everyone who has read

There's a lot in this chapter I don't own – I do not own Twilight or any of its characters, that's all Stephenie Meyer's. I don't own Chuck E. Cheese, Much Ado About Nothing, or any other publicly recognizable anything. All I own is this little plotline.

This story began with a PG-13 rating, but I have changed it to M because of mature subject matter, including references to abuse and discussion of drug use and sexuality.

_Ha ha ha ha!_

_Happy ever after in the market place..._

_Molly lets the children lend a hand..._

_Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face..._

_And in the evening she's a singer with the band..._

_Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah!..._

_Lala how the life goes on..._

_Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah!..._

_Lala how the life goes on._

_And if you want some fun...take Ob-la-di-bla-da! _

They finished the song, Jacob shouting "Thank you" at the end. Edward, Bella, and Ren laughed at him, and he bowed in his seat. As they sped north along I-5, their Beatles' sing - along continued with "Love Me Do" and "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds", until Edward pulled the car into a rest stop near Bellingham so they could stretch their legs and use the restrooms. Bella was standing in the hallway of the rest stop admiring the pictures of Vancouver when she felt arms circle her waist from behind.

"Having fun?" Edward murmured in her ear. Bella felt her skin prickle with gooseflesh at his voice, and she nodded.

"This was a good idea," she said as she turned to face him and slid her arms around his torso. "Thanks for thinking of it."

Bella's birthday had been the previous Wednesday, and Edward had proposed going to Vancouver for the weekend to celebrate. Jacob and Ren were driving up with them, but Bella was pretty sure they weren't the only people coming. Every time she mentioned anyone else though, Edward's responses had been vague. In fact, he had been vague about everything. Short of telling her their general destination, Edward had been completely close-mouthed about the trip.

"So, wanna tell me what we're _doing_ in Vancouver?" Bella asked, looking up at him from between her lashes in her best sweet don't-you-want-to-tell-me face.

Edward thought for a moment, then bent and kissed the tip of her nose. "Sure." Bella's eyes brightened. "I'm dying to tell you, in fact. Can you keep a secret?" Bella nodded eagerly.

"I can too." Edward smirked and poked Bella in the side, then grabbed both of the tiny fists she aimed in his direction.

Just as Bella began to twist and squirm in an attempt to escape Edward's grasp, Jacob emerged from the men's room. He took in the scene before him.

"Need some help Eddie? I think the two of us could take her."

Bella turned to face Jacob and stuck her tongue out at him as Ren joined them. He turned in her direction, pouting hugely. "Ren baby, Bella's being mean to me. Make her stop."

Ren considered the group gathered in the small hallway, then looked at Edward and held out her hand. "Keys, Mr. Cullen. I am pretty sure no one here is old enough to drive." They all laughed and walked back to the car, Jacob's arm around Ren, and Bella squealing as Edward continued poking and tickling her.

A little over an hour later they pulled up in front of a large building on the waterfront in Vancouver. Edward came around to help Bella out of the passenger seat. She looked around, astonished.

"Edward, this is beautiful! Where are we?"

"The Pan Pacific Vancouver, my dear." Edward removed their luggage from the trunk of his Volvo before handing his keys to the waiting valet. They walked into the lobby, where he approached the front desk.

"Edward Cullen. I have a reservation," he said to the clerk with a smile.

"Yes, sir," she replied, returning his smile. "You are in our Bayview suite." Edward handed her a credit card, and after a moment she returned it, along with a small leather folder. "Here are your keys and some information about the city. A bellman will be here momentarily to help you with your bags. Enjoy your stay."

A few minutes and an elevator ride later, they arrived at the door to their suite and the bellman opened the door. As they entered, three jaws simultaneously dropped and Edward chuckled.

"Bells, you didn't tell me you were dating Bruce Wayne," Jacob teased.

Bella ignored him and turned to Edward. "This is too much."

Edward shook his head at her. "There's no such thing, love. Plus, it's all on my parents. They insisted, and you know how stubborn they can be. Besides, I think my mom had as much fun shopping for a hotel as she would if she were making the trip herself."

Bella's eyes filled with tears at Carlisle and Esme's generous gift. The suite was enormous, nearly the size of their apartment. The central room was open and had a living area, dining table, and a small kitchen with a bar that opened into the main room. Huge windows afforded a view of the water, the Lions Gate bridge and mountains in the distance. There were closed doors on either end of the main room that Bella assumed opened into bedrooms. Bella gazed around the suite in silence while the other three watched, broad smiles on their faces. Finally she turned to Edward and hugged him, tears escaping her eyes.

"It's beautiful, thank you," she whispered into his chest.

"You're welcome," he whispered down into her hair. "Why don't you go check out the bedrooms?"

Bella approached the closest closed door, and jumped back in surprise when it opened on its own and a huge man leaped out from behind it. "Emmett's here!" he shouted, grabbing Bella around the waist and twirling her around. "Happy birthday, Baby Bell!"

Bella's face turned crimson and she halfheartedly swatted Emmett's broad chest. "Put me down, you gorilla," she said, giggling. She looked over his shoulder to see a lovely blonde woman standing in the bedroom, laughing at Emmett's antics. "Hi Rose!"

Emmett dropped Bella on her feet as Rosalie approached them. She kissed Bella on the cheek. "Happy birthday Bella. Thanks for having us."

"Thank Edward," Bella replied. "I had no idea you guys would be here. Now," she said, turning and contemplating the other door, "I wonder who could be behind door number two?" She raised her eyebrows at a grinning Edward, who shrugged and shook his head. She approached the bedroom door and turned the knob, then opened the door slowly to find...an empty room. Puzzled, she continued into the room and looked in the bathroom, and even investigated the bathtub and shower stall. She walked back out into the living room, speaking as she went.

"There's no one there..." Her words were cut short as she was suddenly knocked to the floor by a tiny black-haired blur flying in from the living room.

"Gotcha!" Alice said triumphantly. "Did you really think I would hide in the same place as my brother? I am a _way_ better hider than him."

"Yeah Alice, waiting in the bar downstairs, that's secret agent stuff right there," teased Emmett, as he crossed the room and pulled both women onto their feet. He swept Alice up into his arms as if she were a doll. "We'll have to start calling you double-oh-midget."

"Hey, there wasn't just waiting, there was also stealthy following," retorted Alice, sticking her tongue out at Emmett and aiming a kick at his knee, which elicited a laugh from the room.

"So now that we're all here, and we've established that Alice isn't as sneaky as she thinks she is, what now?" Emmett asked, placing Alice back on the floor.

"Dinner. We have reservations in," Edward checked his watch," 45 minutes, so we need to leave in about 30."

"Do I need to change?" Bella asked, indicating her jeans and long-sleeved t-shirt.

"Nope," Edward replied, sweeping her up in his arms. "You, my love," he said, kissing the tip of her nose," are perfect."

"Almost perfect," said Alice, tugging on Bella's arm. "Come on, birthday girl!" Alice pulled Bella into one of the bedrooms and seated her at the large vanity. She, Rosalie, and Ren spent the next few minutes fussing over Bella, and after she emerged from their cosmetic cocoon, Alice tossed a shirt at her.

"Here, put this on," Alice instructed.

"But Edward said this is ok!" Bella protested.

"It is ok. But this is better." Alice smiled as Bella rolled her eyes and pulled her t-shirt over her head. She put on the shirt Alice had offered her, and turned to look in the huge mirror over the vanity. Alice knew her stuff, she had to admit. The fabric of the tunic draped gracefully over her small frame, and her skin seemed to glow from within.

Her reverie was interrupted by Jacob's voice from the doorway. "Time to go girlies! Stop staring at yourselves and get a move on."

"Wait, one more thing," chirped Alice, and she pulled out a purple satin sleep mask and placed it over Bella's eyes. "Ready!"

****r~d****

Despite Bella's best persuasion attempts, Edward remained stubbornly closed-mouthed about where they were going, and he refused to allow Bella to remove the mask. No amount of cajoling on her part could change his mind, and he got more amused as her pleas continued.

Edward had invested a lot into this weekend - research, questions for Bella that he hoped had been subtle, and tons of planning. He had called Esme for help, knowing that she was much better at this sort of thing, and he wanted everything to be perfect.

Since the weekend of the grad night ball, things had been good between he and Bella, he thought. Ironically, they had fought more in those weeks than they ever had before, but Edward took that as a good sign - he hoped it meant that Bella was getting more comfortable with their growing intimacy and that they were learning to communicate honestly. He had been a little afraid at first that she would retreat into herself after all they had been through that night, but he had been pleased to see that, in contrast, she seemed to be a little more open. It appeared that some of the hesitation he had been sensing from her had dissipated and left a much happier Bella in its wake. There were still moments though, where she seemed almost fragile, as if she were a glass sculpture that shone in the light but might shatter if he made a wrong move.

Edward shook himself out of his reverie as they pulled into the parking lot of their destination. _No worrying tonight_, he thought. _Just fun for Bella's birthday_.

He crossed to her door and opened it, taking her hand to help her out. Then he pulled off the blindfold to reveal their destination.

"Chuck E. Cheese! Edward, what the heck?" Bella grinned and threw her arms around his neck. "I always wanted a birthday party here!"

"I know, love." Edward chuckled as he kissed her cheek and wrapped his arm around her waist to lead her inside. "Just call me your fairy god-boyfriend."

It was true that Edward knew she had never had a Chuck E. Cheese birthday and had always wanted one; that was one of the many bits of information he had gleaned from his research while planning the weekend. He had racked his brain to remember what her birthday parties had been like when they were growing up, and he had asked her about favorite birthday memories. She shied away from the question, saying that birthdays had never been a big deal in her family. Finally he had called Jasper and asked for help planning the weekend.

"_Did Alice tell you that we're all going to Vancouver for Bella's birthday?"_

"_Yep. She said you were trying to planning a bunch of stuff. What are we doing?"_

_Edward put down his coffee as the two of them had a seat at one of the small tables in Starbucks. "I was kind of hoping you could help with that, actually. She won't tell me anything."_

"_That's our Bella," said Jasper, chuckling._

"_I asked her what her favorite birthday memories were, and she kind of dodged the question. I thought about it, and I don't really remember going to many birthday parties for either of you - except, of course, the one you threw for yourself your senior year." Edward grinned._

"_Yeah, that was pretty amazing," Jasper replied, tipping his chair back on two legs. "I'm still surprised Charlie didn't lock me up for that one. You know the legs of the coffee table still fall off about once a year? Every time, Charlie calls and yells at me, and then he just glues them back on. Can't make the old man buy a new one."_

"_Who broke the coffee table?" Edward asked. "I must have missed that. I spent most of that party trying to convince your sister to stop hiding in her bedroom."_

"_Tyler Crowley tried to do a keg stand and he fell on it." Jasper explained. "Moron. Did you know he applied to be a deputy after he graduated?"_

"_Are you kidding?" Edward nearly spit out his coffee in his laughter. "What did Charlie do?"_

"_I dunno, but I would love to have seen it. All Crowley said was that he had 'decided he wasn't cut out for law enforcement', which probably means Charlie swore at him and threw him out of the station."_

"_Nice." Edward replied, still laughing. "Anyway, back to the question - any ideas for Bella's birthday?"_

"_Hm." Jasper drew his eyebrows together, thinking. " We really _didn't_ ever do much for birthdays, Renee was always so busy and Charlie worked all the time. Mostly we just had cake and ice cream at dinner and that was it."_

"_I remember when she was about ten she wanted a Chuck E. Cheese party, but mom said it was too expensive and too far away, so instead we made pizza together." He rolled his eyes. "You can imagine how that turned out - Bella burned herself and had to go to the ER. I was supposed to take the pizzas out of the oven while she and Renee were gone, but I got in a fight with Charlie and stormed out, so they turned into pizza charcoal. I don't think anyone got dinner that night." He shook his head at the memory. "And I think one year she was supposed to have a slumber party, but she got grounded and they cancelled it."_

"_What on Earth did she do to get grounded?" _

"_Who knows? It was pretty easy to piss off Charlie and Renee. I should know, I majored in it." He chuckled darkly._

"_Jas, how bad was it, really? Alice mentioned some stuff, but she didn't go into details."_

"_She said she had talked to you about it a little. It was...well, it could have been worse, but our household was no episode of The Cosby Show."_

"_Can you tell me about it?"_

_Jasper took a deep breath. "Renee was really unhappy, and she was pretty self-absorbed. She just kind of did her thing and didn't pay much attention to either of us. I think she wanted to look like a good mom to everyone else, but the day-to-day reality of parenthood was more than she could handle, she just didn't know how to do it. And Charlie's idea of being a good father was to criticize and yell and punish. I think all the stuff he saw while he was a cop in Seattle really messed up his perception of what normal kids are supposed to be like. He was harder on Bella, I've never figured out why. She was the good kid. I think maybe he just gave up on me." Jasper gave a bitter laugh that sounded more like a bark. "Keep in mind though, I am saying all this after a crapload of therapy. At the time it just kinda sucked to be home. That's why we both hung out at your house so much - nobody yelled at us there."_

"_Did they ever...damn, I can't believe I am asking this...did things ever get, y'know, physical?"_

_Jasper clenched the fist that lay on the table between them. "Not often, but, yeah, sometimes. Renee never did anything, when she was home she just pretended everything was great and ignored any problems. Charlie could get a little out of control though. Hell, you've seen that. It only happened to me once, but, like I said, he gave up on me. It was different with Bella. He never beat her or anything, but he would grab her arms or jerk her around if he didn't think she was listening or being respectful enough. One time he shoved her against a wall. He was always super apologetic though, any time he got too physical."_

"_How did she handle it?"_

"_You'd know better than I would. She talked to you more than she did to me. I was too busy running around proving what a badass I was to pay any attention to my annoying baby sister. You know she used to cover for me all the time? Forget badass - I was a jackass."_

"_She never said much to me about any of it. I mean, I knew she was unhappy sometimes, and occasionally I wondered, but...I can't believe I've known her for my whole life and just found out about all this a month ago."_

"_Don't beat yourself up. You know Bella; she's really good at keeping stuff in and putting on a happy face. You couldn't have known."_

"So, are we going in, or are we just gonna party in the parking lot?" Emmett's voice shook Edward out of his thoughts.

Bella bumped herself against his side as they walked toward the building. "You ok? You're Mr. Zoneout today."

"I'm good," he replied, turning and kissing the tip of her nose. "Just thinking about the most beautiful girl in the world."

"Aww, that's sweet, but I am pretty sure Jennifer Aniston is taken. This week, at least." Bella laughed as Edward pinched her side, and they continued into the restaurant.

The group spent the next two hours eating pizza, playing games, and laughing hysterically at one another. Ren beat Jacob at whack-a-mole, and he pouted until she bought him more pizza. Emmett had to be dragged from the ball pit by Rosalie after the manager came over so tell them that some parents had complained, and they all laughed as Bella attempted to blow out the re-lighting candles on her birthday cake. Jasper won a tiara out of a crane machine, which was quickly appropriated by Alice, who insisted on wearing it the rest of the night. They were finally asked to leave after Edward lost a bet to Jasper over skee-ball and went on stage to dance with the animatronic band.

"We got kicked out of Chuck E. Cheese!" Emmett crowed as they walked out of the building.

"Ah, my man," sighed Rosalie, with a grin.

****r~d****

They returned to the suite after dinner and piled onto the couches that were scattered around the large living area.

"What now?" Bella asked.

"I bet the pool is still open." Jacob wagged his eyebrows. "I vote for birthday skinny dipping." He laughed as Bella blushed, and Ren smacked him in the chest.

"Slumber party!" Alice cried.

"Sweet!" exclaimed Jasper. "Whose hair do I get to braid?"

"No boys allowed, Jazz," snarked Rosalie. "I bet you could get Emmett to do yours though."

"What?" Jasper, Emmett, and Jacob all responded with incredulity. Edward laughed at their expressions.

"Girls in this room, boys in that one," directed Ren, pointing to the two bedrooms.

"No," protested Emmett. "No way am I sleeping in a bed with three other guys."

"There are two beds, you moron." Rosalie smacked him the chest. "We were in there for half an hour, remember?"

"Oh." Emmett was momentarily silent. "Well, I'm still not sharing a bed with some dude."

"Fine then, sleep out here on the couch. We're having a chick party though."

"Will you be a pillow fighting in your underwear?" asked Emmett, with a hopeful gleam in his eye.

"Night, Emmett," Rosalie replied, rolling her eyes. She entered the bedroom. Alice and Ren kissed Jasper and Jacob goodnight and followed her into the room.

Edward took Bella's hand in his and pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her small frame. "G'night, baby," he whispered into her hair. "Happy Birthday." He smiled down at her before lowering his lips to hers. Bella found herself losing track of everything but him; the pressure of his lips on hers, the feel of his hands as they slid slowly down her back and found their way under the hem of her shirt. She gasped into his mouth when his fingertips made contact with the bare skin of her back, and she pushed her fingers into his hair, pulling him closer to her. Their bubble was broken by the jolt of a pillow hitting Edward in the back, followed by Emmett's voice.

"Hey! Get a room, you two!"

Edward pulled away a bit, keeping his arms solidly around Bella. "This _is_ our room, nimrod," he replied, laughing. Bella laid her head against his chest, reveling in the vibrations his laughter sent through him.

"Well, get another one then," Emmett said, turning away with a huff.

"I'll kill him later, don't worry." Edward dropped another small kiss onto Bella's lips and released her, pushing her towards the bedroom door. "Go have fun."

Bella stuck her lip out at him in a playful pout, then turned and entered the bedroom where the other three girls were waiting. She was a little unsure what to expect - knowing Alice as she did, she was pretty sure this would not be an average slumber party.

"About time," Rosalie remarked with a smirk. "Glad to see you could pry yourself off Edward's face long enough to join us." Her remark was met with a deep blush from Bella.

"Awww, look how cute she is!" Ren crossed to Bella and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, then guided her to join the other girls where they were sprawled on the king size bed. She turned to Alice. "Ok princess, what's first?"

Alice jumped up off the bed and opened the small fridge that was situated in the corner. "First, these!" She pulled out a tray of pink drinks.

"What are they?" Bella asked.

"Strawberry Daiquiris with coconut rum," Alice replied. "Just a couple though, Edward made me promise not to get you drunk. While intoxicated Bella is a _very_ good time, we all know that hangover Bella is fun for no one, and he has a big day planned tomorrow."

"And what exactly does that big day involve, Alice?" Bella asked slyly.

"Oh, no, I am not about to tell you." Alice set the tray down and rejoined the girls on the bed. "Edward would tear me limb from limb and set the parts on fire. Now," she said, her eyes twinkling, "who wants to pick out a color for Bella's toenails?"

Several hours later, everyone's toes and fingers were a new color, all of the girls had truly fabulous new 80's style hairstyles thanks to Rosalie's vintage crimping iron, and they were all very giggly. Emmett had tried to sneak in once, protesting when they threw him out that he just wanted to make sure everyone was ok and that they had enough pillows for the pillow fight. Bella wondered vaguely what the boys were doing, but she was having a good time, so she didn't worry about it.

"So then Emmett gets up on stage," Rosalie said, breathless with laughter, "and starts singing 'I Will Survive' in this really high voice. Then, halfway through the song, he rips off his shirt, and he has on _pasties_. You know, the ones strippers wear, with tassels. He starts dancing, and before anyone could stop him, he had jumped off the stage and was dancing around between the tables, flexing and swinging his tassels. People actually stuck bills in his pants!"

The other girls were laughing so hard they nearly feel off the bed. "Wait, wait," Bella gasped, wiping tears from her eyes. "This was at your cousin's _wedding_?"

"Yep. It turned out one of the groomsmen had bet him at the bachelor party he wouldn't do it. You know Emmett, he can't pass up a bet."

"And you didn't stop him?" Alice looked amazed.

"Please." Rosalie rolled her eyes. "He's your brother, you know how impossible that would've been. Plus, I was _in_ the wedding, so I was trapped at the head table."

"Weren't you furious?"

"At first I was." Rosalie giggled. "But as it turned out, the money he won topped him off so he could buy this." She held out he hand and wiggled her fingers, indicating the diamond ring on her fourth finger. "So I couldn't stay mad. And he has ways of convincing me to forgive him." Rosalie smiled.

"I didn't know you guys were engaged! Congrats!" Bella leaned over and embraced Rosalie.

"Hey, let's play truth!" Alice said, once the laughter from Rosalie's story had quieted a bit.

"What's that?" Bella asked, eyeing Alice suspiciously.

"You've never played truth?" Bella shook her head. "Well, we take turns asking questions, and everyone else has to answer honestly."

"You have to answer every question, no matter what?" Bella asked hesitantly.

"How this - you can pass, but it means you miss your next turn." Alice looked around at the other girls, who nodded at her suggestion. "Bella's the birthday girl, she should go first."

"Alright." Bella bit her lip as she tried to think of a question. "What's your favorite color?"

"Oh Bella!" Rosalie protested, "You have to ask better questions than that!"

Bella blushed. "Okay...what's your favorite color...underwear?"

"Red." Rosalie answered quickly.

"Black", responded Ren, with a smirk.

"Pink. No, blue! No, purple! Do I have to pick just one?" The girls laughed at Alice's answer, and then indicated that she should ask the next question.

"Have you ever smoked pot?"

"Does it count if someone else was smoking it and you were in the room?" Ren asked. Rosalie shook her head. "Then no. How about you, Rose?"

Rosalie nodded. "Bella?"

"Um." Bella said, looking down at her fingers, twisted together in her lap.

"She has!" shrieked Alice.

"Well, not exactly." Bella fumbled over the words. "I've never smoked it, but there may have been some brownies..." she trailed off.

"Bella Swan," said Rosalie, "I never thought you had it in you. Isn't your father the chief of police?"

Bella nodded. "Don't tell Jasper, ok?" she asked, shooting a pleading look at Alice.

"Oh honey, if you knew some of the stuff Jasper's done...he couldn't say a word about some little pot brownies." The girls laughed, and Bella wiped her forehead in a mock gesture of relief.

Ren cleared her throat. "My turn. What's your favorite song...that you hope no one ever finds out you like?"

All three girls giggled. "That's a good one," Rosalie commented.

"Well?" Ren raised her eyebrows, waiting for answers.

"The Climb. Miley Cyrus," Bella offered.

"_Miley Cyrus?_" Alice squealed.

"Hey, it's a good song!" protested Bella. "Don't tell Edward though, I torment him all the time about liking her."

"Mmm-hmm. Whatever you say Bella." Alice smirked.

"Ok, so what's yours, princess?

Alice thought for a moment. "The theme song from Ally McBeal."

The girls all giggled. "How does that one go, exactly, Alice?" asked Rosalie.

Alice grabbed a hairbrush and stood up on the bed, where she began to sing at the top of her lungs and bounce up and down, using the handle of the hairbrush as a microphone.

_I've been down this road_

_Walking the line that's painted by pride_

_And I have made mistakes in my life that I just can't hide._

_But I believe I'm ready_

_for what love has to bring_

_I've got myself together_

_Now I'm ready to sing._

_I've been searching my soul tonight_

_I know there's so much more to life_

_Now I know I can shine a light_

_to find my way back home._

_Baby._

_Yeah._

_Oh Yeah._

At the last Oh Yeah, she pumped her fist in the air and flopped down on the bed. "Like that," she said, grinning at Rose. "Your turn."

Rosalie began to speak, but they were interrupted by a knock on the door. "You ladies alright in there?" Jasper's voice asked. "It sounded like someone was killing a duck."

Alice jumped up off the bed and marched to the door, yanking it open. "Shut it, you." She glared up at him, then suddenly jumped up and grabbed him around the neck. This was apparently a move he was used to, because he caught her smoothly and held her up against him, her feet dangling no less than a foot off the floor. "Having fun boy time?"

"Yes," Jasper chuckled, "but no one out here is as pretty as you."

"Wanna borrow some nail polish for Jacob? I bet I'm Not Really a Waitress would be fabulous on him."

"Nah, he's more a Lincoln Park After Dark kinda guy," interjected Ren.

"Darn it, I didn't bring that one. Oh well." Alice kissed Jasper's lips, then wiggled to be let down. He dropped her onto her feet, and she pushed him towards the door. "Now go away."

The door closed behind him, and Alice bounced back to the bed. "Ok, Rose, spill!"

"Chattahoochee," she replied, scrunching her face in anticipation of laughter.

"I like that song," Ren said.

"Me too," Bella added.

"I never figured you for an Alan Jackson girl," Alice commented, looking at Rosalie speculatively.

"What can I say?" Rosalie shrugged. "I have layers."

"Like Shrek!" Alice collapsed to the bed, giggling.

Rosalie grabbed a pillow and hit Alice over the head. "Does that make you Donkey?"

"No, but it totally makes Emmett Princess Fiona!" Alice's observation sent the group into near hysterics.

They continued to play, with questions ranging from the silly to the personal. They learned that Alice wore a size four shoe and Rosalie wore a nine and a half; that Alice owned all ten seasons of Beverly Hills, 90210 on DVD; and that Ren's real name was bizarre and unpronounceable, necessitating the nickname. Bella revealed that she had always wanted a tattoo but was too scared to get one, and Alice showed them the tiny heart with Jasper's initials that was just below her hipbone. They found out that Ren was adopted and that she was thinking about searching for her birth parents, that Rosalie had experienced a pregnancy scare when she was 19, and that Bella had almost drowned on vacation when she was twelve. As it got later, the game began to wind down.

"Last round, girls, make 'em good!" Alice declared, when she noticed that it was almost 1 am. "Rose, you go."

"Okay." She pursed her lips in concentration. "What do you love most about your significant other?"

"He has a really gentle spirit," was Ren's contribution.

"He anchors me," said Alice, "and he has great hair." She smiled at them. "Bella?"

"He accepts me." Bella's voice was barely audible. They all sat quietly for a moment, before Rose indicated that Ren should ask the next question.

"What are you most scared of about the future?"

"I'm afraid to have kids." Alice spoke up first. "I am a little scared of what it would do to me and Jasper, and I don't think I would be a very good mother." At these words, Rosalie reached over and hugged her soon-to-be sister in law.

After releasing Alice, Rose spoke. "I am afraid I will never really figure out what I want to do with my life, and I will just float around forever. Does that make sense?" The other girls nodded.

Bella sat silently, until finally Alice prompted her. "Bella? It's your turn."

"Pass."

"Come on, Bella, tell us," encouraged Ren, sliding her arm around Bella's shoulders.

"You'll feel better," Alice said. "Fears never seem as big once you talk about them. Besides, you don't want to ruin our perfect pass-free game, do you?"

"Fine." Bella sighed and concentrated on the bedspread beneath her crossed legs. "I am afraid that one day Edward is going to wake up, take one look at me, and run away screaming."

"Oh, sweetheart, that would never happen. Anyone can see that he loves you." Alice reached over and hugged Bella. "Your turn, last question - anything you are just dying to know?"

"Actually..." Bella bit her bottom lip and hesitated.

"We're not getting any younger here," remarked Rosalie.

"Alright." Bella took a deep breath and looked up at her friends. "Um...does it hurt?"

"Does what hurt?" Rosalie asked, a puzzled expression on her face.

Bella blushed. "You know..."

"Ohhhh." Ren's exclamation of understanding sounded like a sigh. "You mean you've never...you haven't..." Bella shook her head, blushing even darker. "Alice, you wanna take this one?" Alice nodded.

"It did the first few times, but it wasn't terrible or anything. And not to gross you out or anything, seeing as I am married to your brother, but...well, it can be amazing."

Rosalie nodded. "I was way too young the first time. It was not pleasant. I wish I had waited. But being with someone you love, it's totally different, like Alice said - amazing."

Ren spoke up then. "I know the whole sex thing can seem really scary, but you don't need to worry, sweetie. It will all work out."

The three girls wrapped themselves around Bella, hugging her. They sat there together for a few minutes, until finally Alice spoke up. "Time for sleep, girlies, we have lots to do tomorrow."

****r~d****

Edward closed the door behind their friends the next afternoon, glad to finally have some time alone with Bella. The weekend so far had been all he could have hoped for. She appeared to have had a blast at Chuck E. Cheese, and Alice had told him that the slumber party had been a success as well. That morning they had eaten chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream and birthday candles, then they had all walked around the waterfront before returning to play together in the indoor pool.

Edward crossed the room and joined Bella on the plush sofa in front of the TV. "Had a good weekend?"

"Yep." Bella shifted so that she lay on her back, her head in Edward's lap. "I'm tired though. It seems like we are playing a game of 'How many birthdays can we fit into two days?'"

"Drat, you've uncovered my devious plan!" Edward smiled down at her, playing with her hair, which was still slightly damp and curly from the pool.

"So, how many birthdays are left?"

"One or two."

"Do I have time before the next one to rest awhile? I really am tired."

"Sure baby. I'll wake you when you need to start getting ready, ok?"

"Mind if I just stay here?"

"Not at all."

Bella turned to her side, facing away from him, and Edward continued to stroke her hair as her eyes drifted shut. Soon her breathing slowed, and he knew she had fallen asleep. He leaned his head back on the sofa, and soon he had drifted off as well.

A couple of hours later, the sound of his phone beeping roused him. He had a text message from Alice.

_Forgot to tell you earlier - B's outfit for tonight is in the blue garment bag in her room. Good luck!_

He checked the time. Alice's timing was perfect, as usual - they had a little over an hour before they needed to leave. He reached down and stroked Bella's slightly flushed cheek.

"Bella? Baby, time to wake up."

"Mmmm." Bella rolled closer to him and stretched before her eyelids fluttered open. "Hi." She smiled up at him.

"Hi to you. Good nap?"

"Best ever. Time to get ready?" Edward nodded as she sat up. "Where are we going?"

"Not telling."

"So how am I supposed to know what to wear?" she asked with a pout.

"Alice brought you something. It's in the blue garment bag in your closet."

Bella sighed heavily as she lifted herself off the couch. "You and your secrets," she said, shaking her head at him.

"You love it."

Bella twisted her face in thought, then smiled. "Yeah, I kinda do." She bent to kiss his temple, then headed toward the bedroom. "See you in a bit!"

When she emerged again, she was transformed. Gone was the lingering chlorine smell leftover from the pool - instead, as he moved towards her, Edward could smell the flowery scent of her shampoo. Her hair hung around her shoulders in loose waves, and she was dressed in an outfit like nothing had ever seen her wear before. She wore slim fitted black pants that ended mid-calf, with a small ruffle around the bottom. They were topped with a long shirt in some sort of flowy material that was purple at the top and blue-green at the bottom. The back of the shirt came almost to her knees, while the front was shorter. The shirt was sleeveless, and she carried a black and gray sweater. The outfit was completed with black ballet slippers and small silver chains dangling from Bella's ears. She looked at Edward, her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Is it ok?" She asked, uncertainty in her eyes.

"It's breathtaking," Edward replied. "Alice is a genius. And you, my love, are an angel."

"You aren't so bad yourself." Edward was wearing gray dress pants and a black polo. He had tried unsuccessfully to calm his hair, but it was all over the place, as usual.

"Thanks." He kissed her gently, then took her hand in his. "Shall we?"

They walked down through the lobby, and Edward whispered "I might have to start a fight if all these guys keep staring at you."

"Me?" She whispered back. "Have you seen the way these women are looking at _you_? I'm going to start slapping and hair-pulling." They giggled together as they exited the lobby and headed toward his car.

After a dinner of excellent sushi, Edward took her to an area near the shore. As he helped her out of the car, Bella looked around, confused. "Where are we?" she asked. They were walking towards what looked like a series of large old-fashioned circus tents.

"You'll see," Edward replied. You're gonna love it."

They passed through a large wrought-iron gate, where Edward handed someone a pair of tickets and took two programs. Bella reached over to take one, but Edward refused. An usher escorted them to seats near the large, round stage, and Bella looked around, taking in every detail of the tent and the set in front of them.

"Seriously Edward, what is this?"

"Seriously, Bella, trust me. You'll love it."

Bella continued to examine their surroundings as the seats around them filled. Soon the crowd quieted, and lights came on to illuminate the stage. As the audience became silent, two men and two women in beautiful costumes entered the stage. One of the men spoke.

"I learn in this letter that Don Peter of Arragon comes this night to Messina."

Bella gasped.

The other man spoke. "He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off when I left him."

Bella turned to Edward. "Much Ado About Nothing?" Edward nodded and wrapped an arm around her. She snuggled into his side and turned back to the stage.

For the next few hours Bella watched the players on the stage, and Edward watched Bella. He could follow the story, but he found her much more interesting. She was entranced by the play, and during intermission she devoured the playbill that Edward offered her, taking in every word about the production and the actors. She finally looked up, after reading the entire playbill. Her eyes shone with happiness.

"Enjoying yourself, love?"

"It's so wonderful! I love this play!" She threw her arms around his neck enthusiastically. "Thank you so much!" She pulled back slightly and looked at him, screwing up her face. "I thought you didn't like Shakespeare though."

"I never said that," Edward replied, tapping the tip of her nose. "I just don't love him with the same all-consuming passion you do. Do you realize you quoted almost every one of Beatrice and Hero's lines along with them?"

"Did I?" Bella blushed crimson.

"Yes, you did. It was adorable."

She took his hand as the intermission ended and Act III began. He watched her laugh at the antics of Dogberry and the watchmen, and cry when Claudio rejected Hero at the altar. When the final act ended, and the actors finished their bows, she turned to Edward again. Her eyes were shining and her face was alight with joy.

"That was the best birthday present ever. Thank you so much!"

He leaned down and kissed her, then wrapped his arms around her. "You're welcome. Ready to head back?" He felt her nod against his chest.

Bella spent the drive back chattering happily about the play, so much so that Edward jokingly wondered aloud if she had switched bodies with Alice. Bella just rolled her eyes at him and continued her analysis of the show she had seen. She fell silent as they approached the hotel, then turned to Edward.

"So...the playbill says they are doing three other shows this year - Anthony and Cleopatra, Falstaff, and Henry the Fifth."

"I saw that."

"Oh. Good!" She looked up at him through her eyelashes with a little smile on her face.

"Something else you wanted, love?" Edward asked as he pulled up in front of the building.

"Do you think maybe...we could come back? We don't have to see all of them, and I can pay for the tickets..." she trailed off expectantly.

"I don't know, Bella." He looked down at her, fighting hard to maintain a solemn face as he helped her out of the car. "It's Shakespeare after all. You're asking an awful lot." He handed the keys to the valet and took her hand.

"Oh. Okay." She dropped her head and pushed open the lobby door.

They crossed the lobby and entered the elevator before Edward spoke again. "Now that I think about it though...it would really be a shame to waste these season tickets Emmett and Rose bought you." He smirked at her amazed expression, then cringed at the sound of her joyful shriek, magnified by the enclosed space.

"Ow." Edward covered his ears. "Can't watch plays if I lose me hearing, you know."

Bella poked him in the side as they stepped off the elevator and started down the ornate hallway. "You deserve it for tricking me, you jerk." He laughed and poked her back, eliciting a squeal.

They entered the room and Edward pulled her down with him onto the plush sofa and wrapped his arms around her. They sat in silence for awhile as he trailed his fingers gently up and down the skin of her arm. She shivered at his touch.

"Cold, baby?" He asked softly. She shook her head no. They continued to sit there, Edward brushing his lips softly against her hair and her ear. She relaxed into him, the rhythm of his breathing and his gentle touches lulling her almost into sleep.

"I have one more present for you," he said in a low voice.

"Unh-unh," Bella protested drowsily, shaking her head.

"Mmm-hmm," Edward replied, nodding into her hair and chuckling softly.

"You've already done too much, Edward. It's just a birthday."

"It's your birthday, love, and you are worth all of it and much more," Edward argued. "Besides, it's just a little thing. I didn't even spend any money on it."

"Alright." Bella acquiesced with a sigh.

"Hold out your hand and close your eyes," he instructed quietly. She did as he asked. He shifted a bit behind her, then she felt his hand cover hers, placing something small and light and warm in her palm. He closed her hand over it.

"Open your eyes."

Again she obeyed, and started to open her hand, but he caught it in his and held it closed. "You don't get to look until you answer some questions."

"Okay," Bella replied, bemused, but much more awake than she had been a few moments earlier.

"Question one," Edward began, stroking her arm again, "did you have a good birthday?"

"The best ever."

"Good. Question two - are you happy?"

"Blissful."

"Me too." Edward paused in his questioning to place a few kisses on Bella's neck and ear. She shivered again.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

Bella was silent for a moment. "I think so," she replied finally, her voice trembling slightly.

"Do you love me?"

Bella turned around to look at him. She reached up to caress his cheek with her hand before she leaned in to kiss him. The kiss started out gentle, but she soon deepened it and she lost herself in the sensation of his lips and tongue on hers. He pulled back and looked at her as the both gasped for breath. "Was that a yes?"

"Yes, I love you." She leaned in to kiss him again, but he stopped her.

"There's one more question. Open your hand, love."

Bella had almost forgotten about the small item in her closed fist. She brought her hand up between them and uncurled her fingers. She gasped when she saw the tiny gleaming circle on her palm. She lifted her surprised eyes to Edward's, which looked like green fire in the dim light.

"Bella, will you marry me?"

Bella's eye's widened. "What?"

Edward chuckled. "What was Benedick's line? 'Thou art sad; get thee a wife, get thee a wife.' Seemed like good advice."

"Are you sure?"

Edward grinned as he leaned in to kiss her gently. "Yes, I am very sure."

"Then..." Bella took a deep breath. "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you." She slid her arms around his neck, and his arms found their way around her waist. He pulled her into his lap, and they sat, hugging and whispering "I love you" to one another, until he began to kiss her. As they kissed, she turned and straddled his lap, pressing herself as close to him as she could.

"I love you Edward," she whispered breathlessly, as her lips left his and traveled down his neck, to the opening at the collar of his shirt. She kissed the small patch of chest, and then unbuttoned the second button, continuing the path of kisses down his neck. Edward moaned softly, but as she opened a third button, he pulled away with a groan.

"Bella...Bella...stop..." He gently lifted her from where she sat astride his lap, and set her down next to him on the couch. Bella looked at him, and Edward sighed at the hurt and confusion in her eyes.

"Bella, sweetheart...I'm sorry."

"It's ok," Bella said, her eyes downcast. "I just thought...I thought you would want..."

"Oh baby, I do. But..."

"But what, Edward?"

"We've waited. At first, I didn't want to rush you, I know you haven't...so I was trying to be respectful. I didn't want to push you to do anything you were uncomfortable with. After a while, I loved you so much, and I wanted to wait until it was right, I wanted things to be special. You never really said anything, so I figured you wanted to wait too. Was I wrong?"

"I guess not...I don't know. At first I was kind of scared, and then when you never really pushed it...I figured you weren't really that interested." Bella buried her blushing face in his chest. She could feel the rumble as he laughed.

"Not interested? Have you failed to notice the fact that I can't seem to stop touching you?"

Bella burrowed further into his chest, and her reply was barely audible. "Well, maybe."

Edward pulled her away from him just enough to look into her face. "Bella, I love you, and I want you. I want to make love with you. Sometimes I think I might implode from wanting you. But I've been thinking about it, and..." Edward trailed off, inhaling deeply. "I can't believe I am about to say this."

"It's ok, Edward, just say it." Bella softly caressed the side of Edward's face.

"I...I want to wait. After the wedding...I want to wait until you are my wife."

At the word "wife", Bella's stomach did a little backflip. She blushed again and looked up at Edward. "Really?"

"Really." Edward nodded. "I may go crazy before then, but...yes."

"How...I didn't think..." Bella's eyes filled. "I wanted to wait too, but I thought you wouldn't, so...really?" Bella's face broke into a grin. Edward nodded and bent to kiss her forehead.

"How on Earth did I ever manage to find someone as wonderful as you?"

"Well, I am a pretty good catch," replied Edward with a lopsided grin. "But you are quite the worm. Good bait, you know. So can I put your ring on now?"

"Oh!" Bella looked down at the ring still clasped in her fist. She opened her hand to Edward, who picked it up off her palm. She held out her left hand, and to her surprise, Edward slid off the couch and knelt on the floor in front of her. She bit down hard on her lower lip, determined not to miss a single moment distracted by the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.

Edward lifted her hand to his lips and gently kissed her bare ring finger. "Isabella Marie Swan," he said, sliding the ring on her finger to her first knuckle, "will you be my wife?"

Bella nodded, unable to speak. He pushed the ring fully onto her finger, and she slid to the floor and knelt with him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. After a few minutes, she began to giggle.

"What's funny, love?" Edward asked, pushing an errant strand of hair from her face.

Bella laughed again before she answered. "I just pictured Alice's reaction to the news, and thought we would probably need tranquilizer darts. A picture popped into my head of Jasper following her around with a little blow dart gun, and shooting Alice in the neck with a dart in the middle of a bridal store..." Bella trailed off as she was consumed with another fit of giggles.

Edward began to laugh as well, and they collapsed to the floor, engulfed in laughter and entwined in one another's arms.

He woke the next morning with Bella lying behind him, her arm draped over his waist and her body tucked in close to his. After their laughing fit had subsided, they had resumed their positions on the sofa and had spent the next several hours completely entranced with one another. They had kissed and talked and laughed, sat in comfortable silence, and kissed some more. They had briefly discussed a wedding date, and although they hadn't selected anything specific, they agreed that they did not want an extremely long engagement.

They had stayed there until the wee hours, and when Bella had finally fallen asleep cuddled into his chest, Edward had picked her up and placed her in the big bed, then laid down beside her, unwilling to be separated from her so soon after she had agreed to marry him. Now he slowly turned over in her embrace, not wanting to wake her, and pulled her up onto his chest. She stirred and burrowed her face into his shirt, but did not wake up.

Edward looked down at her for several long minutes as he stroked her hair.

_What did I ever do to deserve a woman like her?_

****r~d****

Later that morning, Bella stood in the bathroom, staring. She was supposed to be taking a shower, but instead she was just standing there, looking at her hand. More specifically, she was gazing at the very significant piece of jewelry that had taken up residence on her left fourth finger. It was a beautiful ring; platinum, or maybe white gold, she wasn't sure, with a large square-cut diamond in the center and small round diamonds along the band on either side.

_He asked me to marry him._

_I said yes._

_I'm going to marry him._

She began hopping up and down in place, barely able to contain the squeal that was straining to come from her vocal cords.

_I'm going to be Edward's wife._

_Holy shit._

She stopped short and gazed at herself in the mirror.

"I'm going to be Edward's wife."

Hearing the words aloud did not, as she had hoped, quiet the sudden pounding of her heart or slow her frantic breathing. Instead, the sound of the words prompted the appearance of clammy sweat that coated her forehead. Her head swam, and she sat down on the closed toilet, trying to calm her body's reactions.

_I'm going to be Edward's wife?_

_I can't. I can't be a wife._

_I don't know how to be a wife. I can barely manage girlfriend. What am I going to do?_

She began to gasp, feeling as if all the air had left the small room. Spots appeared before her eyes as she fought desperately for control.

_Hold it together Bella. Breathe, dammit._

She dropped her head between her knees and struggled to slow her breaths, focusing only on getting oxygen to her foggy brain.

_In 2, 3, 4...Out 2, 3, 4. In...Out...IN...OUT!_

She reached over and turned on the shower, adding only enough hot water so that the temperature was bearable. She stripped off her clothes and dropped them on the floor, then stepped into the shower, where she leaned her flushed face against the marble tile and continued to chant slowly to herself.

_In...out...in...out...in..._

By the time she exited the shower her breathing had almost returned to normal, and her heart no longer felt as if it was trying to escape from her ribcage. She toweled off her hair and wrapped herself in the hotel's plush robe, then confronted her reflection again. She forced a smile.

_Pull yourself together. He loves you. You love him. This is a good thing._

She attempted another smile. This one was almost passable.

_Don't screw this up._

Hoping that Edward would be occupied enough with packing and checking out in time not to notice her flushed cheeks and over-bright eyes, she pulled open the bathroom door and stepped out into the suite.

****r~d****

_Just tell her._

For the past hour, ever since they had left Vancouver for home, Edward had been embroiled in a heated internal debate.

_To tell or not to tell, that is the question? Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to share the secret..._

_Shut up._

"Bella, I have to make a confession."

"You killed Jimmy Hoffa? I _knew_ you were to good to be true!" She poked him in the ribs.

"Yep, and I hid him under your bed. I knew no one would ever find him there."

Bella scowled at him. "Yeah, well, instead of OCD they should call it EAMC for Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

"Ever read anything written in this century, ye oh varlety thou?

"Ever read anything, ever?"

"Nerd."

"Snob"

"Dork."

"_Miley Cyrus fan_."

Edward wiped an imaginary tear from his cheek. "That was a low blow. Really, Bella, I thought you were my friend.

"Friends don't let friends listen to crappy teen pop."

"Guess you're right. No more Justin Timberlake for you."

"OK, I'll stop listening to your ipod."

"Loser."

"Brat."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

"Wanna marry me?"

"OK!"

Edward lifted Bella's hand to his lips and kissed her ring finger. "Damn good thing, since I think my parents would disown me if I gave this ring back."

"Edward." Bella looked at him sternly, all hints of levity gone from her face. "Did your _parents_ buy my _engagement_ ring?"

"No," he replied, just as seriously, but with a barely detectable twinkle in his eye. "My grandfather did." He paused just long enough to hear Bella's intake of breath, then continued. "50 or so years ago. It was my grandmother's ring."

"Oh. Ooooooooohhhhhh." Bella gazed at the ring. "Did you have it resized?"

"Nope. I didn't know what size you were, and I didn't want to go through your stuff to find a ring, so I just hoped for the best."

"But it fits so perfectly!"

Edward grinned at her. "Guess it was fate."

Bella grinned back. "Either that, or your parents' realtor twenty-some years ago was psychic."

Edward abruptly pulled the car onto the shoulder and stopped. Bella's face changed from amusement to worry. "What wrong?"

Edward didn't answer - instead, he quickly wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her towards him, meeting her lips with his with a fierceness that bordered on violence. He pulled away after a long moment, and leaned his forehead on hers, both of them gasping for breath.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too," she replied, reaching up to tangle her fingers in the hair on the back of his head. "More than I ever thought I could."

"Promise me you'll be with me forever." His voice was pleading.

"And then some."

They stared into one another's faces, the intensity between them palpable in the car. The moment was broken only when they both jumped at the sound of a horn from a passing car.

"I guess we should keep going, unless we want to live in the car on the side of the freeway."

"Well... eventually we'd need to shower." Bella smiled and placed another gentle kiss on his lips. "By the way, what was you confession?"

"Oh, that."

"Edward, is that...are you _blushing_?"

"No."

"You are! What's the big secret?"

Edward inhaled deeply. "OK - you remember when we talked about waiting?" Bella nodded. "Well...I may not have told you the whole truth."

Bella waited silently, raising her eyebrows.

"There's another reason I want to wait. I told you I knew you hadn't...but I let you think that...well, the truth is...I haven't either." Edward's gaze dropped to the floor of the car.

"But...there were all those girls in high school...and you dated Tanya for so long...I thought..."

"I know. But...is that ok? Are you upset?"

Bella sat, stunned for a moment. "Upset? Edward, no! If anything, I'm...I'm happy."

Edward smiled slowly. "You are?"

Bella smiled back, nodding. "I are." She kissed his nose. "Now, let's get going, ya virgin."

****r~d****

After they arrived home, Bella sat down and began to go through the stack of mail Edward had retrieved from their mailbox on their way upstairs. Edward had started to carry their suitcases towards their respective rooms when he heard her gasp.

"What is it?" He set the cases down and came to stand behind where she sat on the sofa, placing his hands on her shoulders. She had opened one of the envelopes and was reading the letter it had enclosed.

"It's...it's from the Stratford foundation."

Edward' heart stopped.

"They had a spot open up. If I am still interested...they're offering me a fellowship." She looked up at him, her eyes aglow. Then she glanced down at the ring that had been on her hand less than 24 hours. She looked back up at him, a question in her dark eyes.

"Edward?"

He looked back down at her, speechless.

A/N – Almost everything in the story is real. The hotel they stayed in was the Pan- Pacific Vancouver, which you can see here – .com/Vancouver

The play they went to was part of the Bard on the Beach festival. .org/ Their 2010 season opens with Much Ado About Nothing, which is one of my favorite plays.

I have never been to either place, I was working from what I found on the internet, so please forgive any inaccuracies. I have been to Chuck E. Cheese, but it has been a very, very long time.

I hope everyone can forgive a little Miley Cyrus humor.

"Ye old varlety thou" was lifted from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season four, episode four, "Fear, Itself.

Bella's ring: .

Her outfit for the play: .?itemId=prod51360019&parentId=cat322004&masterId=cat232008&index=6&cmCat=

The top for Chuck E. Cheese: .?cid=5042&vid=1&pid=719611


	7. Chapter 7

Bella sat on the sofa and turned on the TV, flipping through the same channels she had surfed a few moments before, but she didn't really see the programs. Her mind was completely occupied with her conversation with Edward a few nights earlier - the last real conversation they had exchanged in 5 days.

_"It's...it's from the Stratford foundation. They had a spot open up. If I'm still interested...they're offering me a fellowship." Bella was so elated she thought she might float up off the sofa like a balloon...until she looked up at him and felt her heart plunge into her feet at the look on his face. Suddenly she remembered the events of the weekend, the events that had momentarily been driven from her mind by the letter in her hand. She glanced down at the ring that had been on her finger less than 24 hours, and was suddenly filled with conflicting emotions. She looked back up at him, hoping desperately that he would be able to offer some answers to all the questions that had stampeded into her mind in those few short seconds._

"Edward?"

He looked back down at her, but he did not speak. He looked as if he had been hit in the head. She did the only thing she could think to do - she reached out to him, like she had in a thousand other times of distress.

"Edward?" When he didn't respond, she stood and grabbed his hands. The look in his eyes frightened her "Edward, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just...that's...that's great, Bella." Bella was shocked at his voice. She could never remember hearing him sound so...forced, and fake. She scrambled to try to reassure him.

"I guess. I mean...it's an honor just to be asked..."

"That's what you wanted, right?" Bella's panic increased. Of course it was what she wanted, but Edward...Edward wouldn't even look at her! She struggled for what to say, her mind warring between telling the truth and saying the words she knew he wanted to hear.

"Yes...it's a really fantastic program..." She felt as soon as the words had escaped her that they had been the wrong choice.

"Well then, um...if it's what you want..."

Bella lowered her head and drew her bottom lip between her teeth. She sniffed.

"Hey, don't cry." Edward sat down on the sofa and pulled her into his lap. He held her in silence for a long time before he spoke, his voice strained. "You should be...happy."

"Should I?" Her voice quavered. She wasn't so sure.

"We'll figure it out." He pulled her close to him and kissed her eyelids. "When do you have to tell them your decision?"

Bella leaned over to retrieve the letter she had dropped onto the coffee table, and scanned the information on the page. "Next Monday. They need to know a week from tomorrow."

"So you have plenty of time to decide. Take the whole week and think. We won't talk about it, ok? I won't even ask, I promise."

She nodded slowly. "One week."  
  
Bella huffed in frustration and pressed the button to turn off the television. She stood up and resumed her pacing of the room. She was amazed the carpet was still intact after the past week. She forced the previous Sunday's conversation out of her head, but it was immediately filled with the other voices that had been plaguing her. She had honestly begun to wonder if she was going crazy.

_Am I going or not?_

Stop thinking about it.

I have to think about it. I only have 48 hours left.

I can't leave him.

I can't pass this up. It's London! Nine months of Shakespeare!

Nine months without him. I can barely get through the day when he's at work.  
  
Bella shook her head in an attempt to silence the arguing voices within it. She looked down at her ring, the one felt all at once like her prison and the key to her happiness.

_He'll wait for you._

Why would he?

I can't ask him to. It's not fair.

It's your dream. You can't give up your dream for some guy.

Edward is more than just some guy.  
  
She sat down again on the sofa and opened her laptop, hoping that maybe working would take her mind off the decision looming before her and the memories that would not leave her alone. She found herself gazing at a blinking cursor on the same blank document she had been staring at all week.

_This isn't going to work. I need to talk to someone._

I need to talk to Edward.  
  
Unfortunately, that was the one person she _couldn't _talk to. Edward had made that pretty clear. _We won't talk about it, ok?_ His words echoed though her mind for the millionth time. They had been loudest in the wee hours of the morning, as she lay awake in her bed, keenly aware that he was asleep a few yards away, as she fought the desperate urge to go climb into bed with him and lie in his arms while she poured out all the thoughts and emotions that filled her mind and robbed her of her much-needed rest. She couldn't even go watch late night TV like she usually did when she couldn't sleep, because he would find her; he always did. So she had remained where she was, the memory of those words holding her in place as effectively as a straightjacket.

_We won't talk about it, ok?_ Bella fiercely wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes at the sound of a key in the front door. She quickly forced a grin onto her face, but it softened into a real smile as Edward appeared before her and she felt happiness at the sight of him infuse through her.

_How can anyone possibly be so beautiful_? she thought_. _ But as she looked at him, her happiness faded again at the tension and fatigue she saw in his posture and the expression on his face.

She rose from her position on the sofa and slid her arms around him. She kissed his stubbly cheek and hugged him close, attempting to soothe the stress she could sense emanating from him.

"Hard day?" she asked, pulling back and examining his face. She traced her fingertips over an eyebrow and down his cheek. "You look tired."

"I suppose." Edward turned away from her, pulling out of her embrace to carry his bag back towards his room. Bella looked after him in silence for a moment, then spoke, trying again to break the tension between them.

"Um...Alice called. She and Jasper want to have dinner...what do you think?"

Edward turned to face her and sighed heavily. "Bella, I'm really tired. Can we please just stay home?"

"Alright. I'll call them." Bella headed towards her room to get her phone, a little disappointed. She had been home all day with nothing but her whirling thoughts to keep her company. She picked up her phone and sent a quick text message to Alice.

_No go on dinner tonight. E wants to stay home._

Within seconds her phone chirped. Alice must have been waiting for her message.

_Boo. Can't you convince grumpy bear to have some fun?  
_  
Before Bella could reply, she heard Edward calling from the living room. She stuck her head out of her door.

"What was that?"

Edward was seated with his back towards her. He did not turn as he spoke. "On second thought, dinner would be good. I could stand to get out for a while. Where do they want to go?"

"I'll find out." Bella tapped in another message to Alice.

_He just changed his mind. Where are we going?_

_Ask Multiple Personality Ken if Luca's pizza is alright with him. _Bella giggled.

"Luca's pizza work for you?"

"Sure. What's so funny?"

"Nothing." Bella suppressed another laugh. "I'll let her know."

After exchanging a few more messages with Alice to iron out details for the evening, Bella returned to the living room and sat down next to Edward. After a moment's hesitation, she leaned into him, and to her tremendous relief he draped his arm around her and pulled her into his side. She leaned her head onto his chest and inhaled the familiar fragrance of his laundry detergent. She was loathe to disturb this moment of peace, but the question had to be asked.

"Um, Edward...can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

Don't get mad, ok?"

Edward tensed but did not pull away. "What's up, Bella?"

"Do you mind if we...that is, is it ok if...canwenottellAliceandJasperwe'reengaged?"

At these words, Edward withdrew his arm, prompting Bella to sit up to face him. She looked at him, then down at her hands, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

"What?" Edward's voice wasn't angry, exactly, but he was obviously not happy at her question. Bella scrambled to explain.

"You know how Alice is...if we tell her, she'll have a million questions and she'll want to talk about dresses and flowers and receptions all night...and I don't...I mean, I can't...we don't know any of that stuff yet. Plus..." again she found herself unable to look at his face, so she examined the upholstery on the sofa "...I have enough on my mind already."

Edward was silent for a long moment, and Bella continued to peruse the pattern of the fabric beside her, afraid of what she might see in his face. Finally he let out a sigh, and she found the courage to look up at him.

"I guess that's probably for the best."

Bella leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips, lingering until she felt him respond. "Thank you for understanding. I'll just go put this in my room and change clothes, and we can get going, ok?" At Edward's nod, Bella stood. She had barely stepped away when she felt his hand on her arm.

"Bella, wait." He pulled her back down next to him, and reached around her neck to unfasten the thin chain she wore. Silently he took her hand and removed the ring he had placed there only a few days earlier, then threaded the chain through it. Again he reached around her to re-fasten the chain, then tucked the necklace and ring beneath her shirt. He rested his hand on her collarbone, above where the ring lay, for a moment.

"OK?" His voice was barely a whisper.

Bella leaned her forehead against his and nodded. "OK." She breathed him in for a moment, then stood and retreated to her room to change clothes and attempt to rein in her feelings for the thousandth time that week.

****r~d****

Edward watched Bella walk towards her room to change to go out. Once the door had closed behind her, he reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to quell the headache he could feel rising, the same headache he had been fighting all week, brought on by stress and confusion and unshed tears. It had only been five days, but it felt like five hundred years. Waiting for Bella's decision and wrestling with his own tangled emotions had been bad enough, and now he had to somehow deal with this new bombshell. Bella's logic made sense, but that didn't stop Edward from feeling sick at the thought.

Once upon a time, things had seemed so straightforward; now, he could not seem to make any sense of what was happening. He wanted to be with Bella all the time, but could barely stand to be in a room with her. He had found reasons to avoid her all week, making plans with friends he hadn't seen in months, or working late on projects that weren't nearly as urgent as he told himself they were, only to realize later that he had done such a poor job that the work would have to be redone.

Most nights he had arrived home late to find her in asleep on the sofa. He would examine her face in the flickering light of the television and battle the urge to lift her in his arms and carry her to his bed; instead he would wake her and guide her, stumbling in her half-asleep state, toward her room. Frustrating as it was to lie next to her without making love, he had been absolutely certain that once she had agreed to be his wife that he would never want to sleep without her again. But soon after her revelation on Sunday night she had retreated to her room, and they had spent every night since apart. Edward was sure that if he slept with her in his arms he would lose his resolve in a moment of vulnerability and beg her to stay with him. He had barely touched her in the past five days. Every time they were close, he would feel the urge to beg her to stay growing, and he would pull away. He missed her desperately.

He wondered if, besides dozing on the sofa, she had been sleeping at all. She had always had trouble sleeping when she was under stress. Ever since they had moved in together, he had regularly found her in the living room pacing or watching infomercials in the middle of the night. When he found her in this state he would join her on the sofa and play with her hair or rub her back until she relaxed enough to go back to bed. Sometimes she talked about what was bothering her; sometimes she chose to remain silent. The ritual hadn't changed once they started dating; the primary difference was that now Bella often wound up in his bed rather than her own.

All week he had lain awake, listening for some sound of her in the living room, wondering what he would do if he heard her, but the sound never came, and each day she looked more exhausted than the one before. That morning she had looked so sad, dark circles marring the delicate skin beneath her eyes. All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and tell her that if she would just agreed to stay with him, everything would be alright, but instead he had poured her another cup of coffee, given her a cursory kiss on the forehead, and bolted out of the apartment without even eating his breakfast.

He wasn't really in the mood to go out - he wasn't really in the mood to do much of anything but brood, actually - but the thought of staying in the apartment all evening, trapped in the haze of tension between them, was unthinkable. He stood and retrieved his keys from their hook next to the door when he heard her emerge from her room, and he silently opened the door for her. He automatically reached to lay his hand on her back, the way he had a thousand times, but hesitated at the last minute, and instead let his hand drop to his side as they walked out the door.

The silence in the car was so thick that Edward was surprised it did not condense on the windows. He couldn't think of anything to say - every sentence that occurred to him somehow turned into some form of "What have you decided?" or some desperate variation of "please don't leave me" He couldn't do that to her though. He was fairly sure he had never regretted any promise more than the one to not ask to her about her decision whether or not to go to London.

****r~d****

"So... what are you going to do today?"

Bella turned from the sink where she was washing dishes, surprised to see him up so early. Predictably, she had not been able to sleep. "You know...normal stuff...we need some groceries, and have to do laundry..." Bella trailed off.

"Groceries? I can do that. Is everything on the list?"

"I think so." Bella was a little puzzled at Edward's eagerness. He normally wasn't quite so enthusiastic about shopping, unless it was with her. In fact, with very few exceptions, every trip to the grocery store since they had become a couple had been together. He delighted in tossing things in the cart she didn't like, just to torment her.

"Great. I'll just...I'll be back in a little while, ok?" He crossed the room to Bella and dropped a kiss on her forehead, then was out the door before Bella could speak.

"Wait, you forgot...the list." She spoke to the empty room.

_What was that all about?_ _He sure couldn't wait to get away from me._ She shook her head and quickly swiped her hand across her eyes before heading towards her room to begin collecting her dirty clothes.

The previous evening had been an unmitigated disaster. He barely spoke to her or looked at her during dinner, and when they had been in the movie Alice suggested, he had not touched her at all. Alice seemed to notice something was wrong, but Bella had assiduously avoided being alone with her all evening, afraid that if Alice asked what was going on, she would pour out every thought and emotion she was experiencing in one long bout of verbal diarrhea, and Bella would not allow herself to do that. By the end of the night, everything had been so strained that Alice had looked genuinely worried, Jasper had appeared very confused, Edward looked furious, and Bella wondered if she might start screaming her head off. She had practically sprinted to her room when she had Edward arrived home, and had spent most of the night staring at the wall while tears poured silently and uncontrollably down her face.

They emerged again as she picked up the clothed scattered through her room, and she didn't even attempt to stem their flow, knowing it would be a useless attempt. She had abandoned all efforts to control her emotions – better to let them out now, or she would most certainly lose control later when Edward got home.

_He's your fiancé - maybe it's ok to lose control in front of him._ She cried harder at the thought that sprang into her mind. She shook her head fiercely. _He'll want to know what's wrong, and he made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want to talk about this.  
_  
She jumped in surprise when she heard a knock on the front door. She wondered if Edward had forgotten his keys. That would be very unlike him, but everything had been so off lately, it wouldn't surprise her. She made a feeble attempt to wipe the moisture from her face, and wearily crossed the apartment to open the door. It wasn't Edward. At the sight of her friend, Bella began to sob and collapsed into Alice's embrace.

****r~d*****

Edward found himself in the grocery store a few blocks from his apartment, but he could not quite remember how he had gotten there. He had been wandering the aisles aimlessly for nearly half an hour, when he was startled by a booming voice behind him.

"Edward! How are ya, buttmunch?"

Edward's knees nearly collapsed under the weight of the slap on the shoulder that accompanied these words. He turned to find Emmett grinning down at him. He forced a smile.

"Buttmunch? I think you're losing your touch."

Emmett shrugged. "What can I say? Rose went to visit her parents for a week. It throws me off."

At these words, Edward's face fell back into its expression of worry. Emmett noticed the change, and then looked down at Edward's empty cart. Concern was evident on his face.

"Seriously, you ok man? You don't look so good."

"I'm fine."

"Hm." Emmett reached into his own cart and lifted out a bag of chips. He pulled the bag open and grabbed a handful, then tilted the bag towards Edward, who shook his head. Emmett continued thrusting the bag him, pushing it in his face, until Edward finally rolled his eyes and took a few chips. Emmett nodded and leaned against the nearby rack of shelves.

"Now that we're comfortable, tell Uncle Emmett all about it."

Edward sighed. "Can you keep all this to yourself?"

"Dude, Rose is out of town. Who am I gonna tell?"

"Well, Alice is your sister."

"Point taken. Yeah, everything's between us."

"Alright." Edward sighed again. "I guess I could use some outside perspective."

He took a deep breath. "Last weekend Bella and I got engaged."

"And you're depressed 'cuz she's not as hot as Rose?" Emmett wagged his eyebrows at Edward, who shot him a rueful smile. Emmett grinned. "Ok, serious now. Isn't that supposed to make you happy?"

"It did. Right until we got home and she found out she got offered a fellowship. In London."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So, you told her to go, right?"

"I didn't tell her to stay."

"But did you tell her to go?"

"I didn't even ask her to stay."

"Edward. Answer the question. Did. you. tell. her. to. go?"

"No."

"Dude."

"What?" Edward refused to look at Emmett, instead focusing on the uneaten chips in his hand.

"She has to go. You have to tell her to go."

Even though a part of him had been thinking the same thing all week, Edward rebelled against Emmett's words.

"Why? Why the hell should I tell her to go? I want her to stay here with me. She said she'd marry me. Doesn't that mean anything?"

"Hey, don't yell at me, I'm not the bad guy here. I'm just telling you, you've got to do what's right for your girl."

Edward took a deep breath and lowered his voice, noticing the other patrons who were looking his way, their attention garnered by his angry words.

"Who says that's what's best? I asked her to marry me, she said yes. I just want to marry the girl I love, is that so bad?"

"Nope. It's not bad at all. But it's not that simple."

Edward slumped against the shelf behind him. "Why not? It's supposed to be simple. You meet someone, you fall in love, you get married, you live happily ever after. Whatever happened to that plan?"

Emmett laughed. "What are you, a nine year old girl? Put down the Disney movies and listen. It's not always that easy. In fact, it's usually not that easy. Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure! " Edward's voice rose again.

"Then you have to do what's best for her, even if it sucks like hell for you. Anything else is just selfish, and that's not love, that's high school infatuation shit. You wanna be a good husband, you have to give it up."

"But what about what's best for me?"

Emmett laughed. "In a perfect world, Bella would be in charge of that. And maybe she will, maybe she won't. I think she might surprise you. And who knows, maybe her going will be the best thing for both of you. But either way, you can't control what she does. If you love her, you have to think about her. Think about it this way. Say Bella turns this thing down to stay here with you. How are you gonna feel in ten years, knowing that she gave up her dreams just because you couldn't handle being separated for a few months? You get married, things change. She may never have a chance like this again."

"But what if she decides to stay here anyway?" Edward knew he sounded like a petulant child, but he couldn't stop himself.

"Then that's her decision. Her responsibility. But do you really want to take the chance that she'll resent you for the rest of her life because you didn't do all you could to make it easy for her to go?"

Edward pulled himself up from where he was leaning against the shelf. He sighed heavily. "You're right. I know you're right. But what am I gonna do without her?"

"That, I can't tell you. But I'm sure you'll figure it out. And Rose and me, we'll be here for you. So will Alice and Jasper. You'll be alright."

Edward cocked an eyebrow at his friend. "When did you turn into Oprah?"

Emmett visibly puffed with pride. "Pre-marital counseling, dude. Turns out, I'm so good at this touchy-feely crap, I shoulda been a chick. Of course, then Rosie would've wound up with some other guy, and we can't let that happen. Now, go be with your girl. You might want to buy something first though, otherwise she's gonna wonder what the heck you were doing here for so long."

Edward laughed. "Probably."

"Oh, and you should probably apologize to her too."

"For what?"

Emmett raised his eyebrows. "Have you, or have you not, been pouting like a teenage girl who didn't get asked to the prom?"

Edward looked at Emmett in amazement. "How'd you know?"

Emmett chuckled. "I've met you, dude."

Edward scowled at him, but soon began to laugh. "Are you sure you aren't a girl?" he asked, then ducked to avoid Emmett's punch.

When he arrived home half an hour later, carrying bags he hoped Bella didn't examine too closely, since their contents in no way resembled the items on the list they had made. He opened the door, hoping she would be willing to talk, but instead, he was met with the cold, deafening silence of an empty apartment.

****r~d****

Within fifteen minutes of knocking on the door, Alice had efficiently bundled Bella into a coat and had her out of the apartment and into her car. Bella thought she had calmed down by the time they arrived at Alice's, but as soon as she sat down and turned to see the concerned look on her friend's face, the tears spilled over again. Bella knew that Alice had to be dying to know what was going on, but fortunately she did not pester Bella to talk - in fact, she did not ask any questions at all. Instead, she sat on the sofa and held her, stroking her hair and occasionally kissing her forehead or handing her fresh tissues.

Jasper returned home to find the two of them in that position. Bella was still intermittently weeping, although by that point she had calmed down enough to greet him with a shaky smile. He sat down on the other side of her, sandwiching her between him and Alice, and wrapped her in his arms.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked gently, placing a kiss on her head.

"I...I don't think...I can." Bella gulped back another sob as she spoke.

"Do I need to hurt someone?" Jasper asked, his voice solemn, but his eyes twinkling. "I can break some fingers, if you want."

Bella chuckled, sounding a little hysterical, and shook her head against his shoulder.

"How about...I know. C'mere, sweetheart." He signaled to Alice, who stood and handed him a pillow from her end of the sofa. He placed it in his lap, and gently tugged Bella down until her head rested on it.

"I love you, baby sister," he said, looking down at her and stroking her hair.

"I love you too, big brother", she replied. He reached down and wiped away the stray tears that were running down her cheeks, and she closed her eyes. Within moments she was fast asleep.

Alice leaned over them. She started to kiss Jasper's cheek, but stopped short and bent over Bella. Very gently, she tugged at the chain around her neck, extracting the ring hidden beneath her shirt. She looked at Jasper, her eyes wide. He shook his head, just as mystified as his wife.

****r~d****

By that evening, Edward was nearly frantic. It wasn't like Bella to leave without saying anything, and he knew how exhausted she had been. His head spun with visions of her alone somewhere hurt, kidnapped, or...he couldn't even bring himself to think it. Finally he sent messages to everyone he could think of who might have seen her or heard from her. He hoped that the message didn't sound quite as desperate as he felt, but he couldn't seem to be too concerned about it, as long as he could find out where she was.

Edward was relieved when he heard his phone chime. He hit the button to read his new text message, and saw it was from Alice.

_She's here._

Edward's heart leapt at the news, but Alice's curt message worried him. He quickly replied with more questions.

_Has she been there all day? Is she alright? What's going on?_

It felt like an eternity before Alice replied. He watched the seconds ticking by, wondering if he was reading too much into the delay. He nearly dropped the phone when it chimed again.

_Yes. I don't know. You tell me._

Edward took a deep breath, but before he could reply his phone chimed again, indicating another incoming message.

_Jasper wants to know who he has to kill, you or Charlie. He hopes it's Charlie, even though he has a gun._

_Is she coming home anytime soon?_ Edward replied, ignoring, for the moment, Alice's questions.

_I don't think so. I think she is going to stay here tonight._

_Shit_, thought Edward. _I've really screwed this up._ He leaned his forehead against the nearby wall. After a few minutes, he stood up, with renewed energy, and strode toward the front door, picking up his keys as he went.

****r~d****

"Bella?" Alice's voice was quiet through the door of the room where Bella lay on the bed, absently picking at a loose thread on the quilt. She did not answer, wanting to be left alone. She was thankful for Alice and Jasper's kindness that day, but she was worn out. She heard the door open, and the bed shifted as someone sat down on it. Before she could turn to speak, and she felt a familiar arm slide around her waist and a warm body snuggle close behind hers .

"Baby?" Edward's voice was like the softest velvet in her ear. "I'm so sorry. I'm an ass."

If someone had asked Bella five minutes before if she thought she could cry any more that day, she would have said it was impossible. But at Edward's voice, and his gentle touch, the sobs that she believed had been exhausted began again. She attempted to pull away from him, but he held her firmly, and after a few minutes she gave in to his offered comfort and turned in his arms to bury her face against his chest. They lay together until the tears slowed and her breathing returned to normal. She drank in his presence; the smell of the skin on his neck, the sound of his heartbeat, and the strength of his arms cocooned around her. Too soon he pulled away to sit up, leaning against the headboard, and Bella followed him to sit next to him, leaning against his shoulder. He reached for her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. After a long silence, Bella started to speak, but he quieted her with a finger to her lips.

"Wait." Edward shifted his position so that he faced her on the bed, and took her other hand in his. He gazed down at the tangle of fingers in her lap, then up at her face. "Bella, I love you. I will always love you. You have to know that. I am so sorry for whatever it is that caused...well, whatever this is."

Bella nodded, her eyes downcast.

"Please, baby, look at me. Please tell me what's wrong. Are you...do you want out? Is that what this is all about?"

Bella looked up, surprised at his words. "Do I...do I what?" she asked. "Do I want out? Is that what you think this is all about?"

"Well, you wanted to take the ring off...and there's the thing in London...if you want your freedom, I'll give it to you..." he trailed off sadly.

"Edward Cullen, I swear, you have to be the stupidest human alive."

This was certainly not what Edward had been expecting, and he found himself getting angry at her words.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked sharply, pulling his hands from hers.

"All this?" Bella pulled away and got up to begin pacing around the small room. She gestured wildly at herself. "You really don't know what happened here? I have to make the biggest, hardest, most complicated decision of my WHOLE LIFE, and the ONE person who could really help me decide is also the ONE person I can't talk to about it? Are you really surprised that I had a meltdown?"

"Bella, what on Earth are you talking about? Who couldn't you talk to?"

Bella spun where she stood to face him. "You, you asshole! "

"What the hell, Bella? What do you mean you couldn't talk to me about it? You WOULDN'T talk to me about it! You just spent the whole week moping and hiding and acting like a crazy person, and I've been tearing my hair out, wondering what is going on!" Edward had left the bed as well, and they stood face to face now.

"But you TOLD me! " she rebutted, her voice rising. "You said not to talk about it! You told me to take the whole week! You said not to tell you! You didn't want to know!"

Edward looked stunned for a moment, then he began to chuckle. He doubled over, laughing as Bella became more and more confused.

"Edward?" she said, annoyed, "what exactly is your damage?"

Edward managed to calm himself down enough to talk. "Bella, do you ever feel like our entire relationship has been one long game of Who's on First?" He burst into laughter again.

Bella dropped onto the bed, mystified. "Edward, what the hell are you talking about?"

He continued to laugh for a few minutes, then breathed deeply in an attempt to calm himself. He sat down beside her. "Bella, I said that so you wouldn't feel pressured. I didn't want you to feel like you had to be in any hurry to decide, or like you had to do what I wanted you to do. So I promised not to ask about it so you could make your own decision."

Bella began to laugh as well, but the laughter had a hysterical edge, and soon turned into sobs. Edward pulled her into his lap and cuddled her tightly to him. "Baby? What is it? What's wrong now?"

Bella nodded against his chest, and gulped back a sob. "I thought...you said..." suddenly she pulled back and smacked him in the chest.

"What the heck was that about, crazy girl?" Edward grabbed her hand as she went for his chest again.

"You said you didn't want to talk about it! I've spent the last week in emotional theme park hell, and I needed to talk to someone, and I couldn't even say anything about it to you, because you said not to! "

Edward pulled her close again and kissed the top of her head. "I'm so sorry, baby. I never meant for you to feel like you couldn't talk to me." He gently ran his fingertips over her cheeks, wiping away the tears that lingered there. "Emotional theme park hell, hunh? Me too. I'm surprised we didn't bump into one another in line for the tilt-a whirl."

"I spent most of my time on the bumper cars." Bella giggled, then sniffled, wiping the remnants of tears from her face. "We're so dumb."

"We really are. Mostly me. I really am the stupidest human alive." Edward kissed her gently. "Good thing we found each other. Maybe we can get smarter together."

"I doubt it." Bella grinned at him. "At least we're pretty."

"That we are." Edward captured her lips with his again for a long moment, then drew back and brushed his nose back and forth against hers. "So, you still want to marry me?" Bella nodded solemnly. "You think you're ready to put the ring back on? You don't have to, you know, we can keep it quiet for a while." Bella shook her head and reached up to unclasp the chain from around her neck. She removed the ring and handed it to Edward, who once again slid it onto her finger. The sat together, staring down at the diamond, until Edward broke the silence.

"Did you decide anything, maybe between the roller coaster and the bumper cars?"

Bella bit her lip and smiled shyly at him. Edward thought he saw a bit of apprehension mixed with excitement in her eyes. "I've decided... I think...I want to go."

Edward's breath rushed from his lungs, as if he had been punched in the gut. He was so taken aback that he almost missed her next words.

"And I want you to come with me."

A/N Thanks to everyone who is reading this little story – I hope you enjoyed it!


	8. Chapter 8

The Twilight universe and everything in it belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. I don't own the Seattle Mariners either, or any sleepwear featuring seafood, raw or otherwise.

Bella sighed and turned over to lie on her back and gaze at the dark ceiling. She had slept on this sofa a hundred times, but tonight it wasn't happening. The beautiful, comfortable, and undoubtedly expensive sofa that Esme had so carefully selected for them seemed to have sprouted lumps every few inches, and she would be willing to swear that she had even been poked by a spring. It suddenly felt far too narrow, despite her tiny frame and the many occasions she and Edward had lay there comfortably cuddled together.

She shifted her position again, curling up on her side. The green glare of the clock on the DVR burned into her retinas, seeming to mock her.

2:17

2:18

2:19

She pushed herself against the back of the couch, wriggling in an attempt to settle into the cushions. She took in several deep breaths and closed her eyes, willing her body to relax.

Her eyes popped open, and she turned to look again at the clock.

2:23

_Screw this._ She rolled to a sitting position, and gathered the blanket and pillow she had borrowed from Edward earlier. She walked across the room, letting out an involuntary yelp when her toe caught the edge of a rug and she stumbled. She steadied herself and held her breath, listening intensely to the surrounding darkness. When she heard nothing, she continued down the hallway and slowly pushed open the bedroom door, wincing at the slight creak it emitted when she pushed it closed behind her.

Edward was visible in the dim light coming through the window; his long form was sprawled diagonally across the bed, leaving very little usable space. Bella sighed and wondered if she was destined not to sleep tonight. She briefly considered lying down on the futon against the far wall, but decided against it and instead sat down on the edge of the bed, nudging Edward. When he failed to move, she pushed harder, finally poking him in the ribs. His eyes blinked open, and he gazed at her with confusion evident on his face.

"Bella?" His voice was rough. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," she replied quietly. "Sorry I woke you up - can you move over?"

Edward wordlessly shifted backwards on the mattress, making space for her, and she lay down facing him.

He reached out to softly stroke her hair. "I thought you said you weren't comfortable with this."

She sighed again. "I'm not, but I was even less comfortable out there," she said, nodding toward the living room. "If I want to survive tomorrow I need to get some sleep. I set my alarm so I'll wake up early and I'll go back out there."

Edward was silent so long that Bella wondered if he had fallen asleep. Then she heard his tired voice coming from the darkness.

"Bella, you're an adult. You can do whatever you want."

Bella did not reply

"And we're engaged."

"Edward, I don't want to have this fight again. I'm tired."

"Alright sweetheart. I just wish I understood what the issue is."

"I know, it's just...I don't know. _It's weird_."

"Funny girl." Bella could hear the smile in his voice. "Now come here and go to sleep."

"I don't know..." Bella trailed off hesitantly.

"Really?" Edward chuckled.

"Well...I suppose what she doesn't know won't hurt her." She slid over and tucked herself against his chest as his arms wound tightly around her.

"_One...two...three! Ha! Paper covers rock," Jasper exclaimed, holding his flat hand in Bella's face. _

"_Dammit! Best three out of five?" Her voice was pleading._

"_Nope. Sorry Sis. I win. She stays with you."_

"_But you have so much more space!"_

"_Bella." Jasper was suddenly serious. "We have two bedrooms. You have two bedrooms. We have practically the same apartment. It's your turn."_

Bella had been terrified to tell Edward, but when she had informed him of her mother's impending arrival he had taken the news better than she expected. He asked when she would be coming and how long she would be staying, and even offered to take the Friday of her arrival off to help get ready. He had cleaned the apartment from top to bottom and held Bella close during the freakouts and panic attacks that became more and more frequent as the day approached. The only real problem had been their disagreement over the sleeping arrangements. They had agreed that Renee would sleep in Bella's room, and Edward presumed that Bella would be sleeping in his room, a reasonable assumption, since she had not slept in her own bed in weeks. He had been surprised when she complained about having to sleep in the living room, and the first of many arguments over the topic ensued.

Bella considered their conversations as she lay snuggled against him, listened to his heartbeat and felt the movements of his slow breathing against her body. Edward was right, she knew - she was an adult, and he was her fiancé. She could sleep wherever she chose, and she should not be so concerned about what her mother thought. Besides, it wasn't as if anything besides sleep was actually happening in their shared bed, and, given her mother's history, she was the last person who had a right to judge.

But despite all of his excellent logic, Bella could not bring herself to share a room with her boyfriend - or fiancé - with her mother in the house. _At least not where she can see_, Bella thought with a tiny giggle, before closing her eyes and relaxing into sleep, held tight in Edward's embrace.

****r~d****

Edward awoke to the tiny chirping sound of Bella's alarm. As he knew she would, she reached over and hit the button to snooze. During the night, she had rolled away from him onto her back, and her hair was spread in a tangled cloud around her head. He gazed at her face, which in sleep was more relaxed than it ever was during the day. He loved waking up next to her, almost as much as he loved falling asleep with her in his arms. He watched her sleep for a few minutes until the sound of her alarm filled the room again, causing her forehead to wrinkle in a frown. Edward reached over and turned the alarm off, then began to gently stroke her cheek.

"Bella, baby, wake up."

Bella shook her head, her eyes closed tightly. Edward chuckled. She never woke easily.

"Bella, sweets, you can stay here if you want, but you said last night you wanted to go back out to the sofa before your mom woke up."

She stretched and opened her eyes a little, then closed them again, groaned and rolled over, burying her face in the pillow.

"Do I have to?" Her voice was throaty, and muffled by the pillow.

"No, you don't. You can stay here with me all day if you want." Edward played with Bella's hair idly.

She groaned again, pulling herself up slowly. "Why couldn't she have stayed with Jasper?" she whined. "Or better yet, why couldn't she just stay away?"

Edward smiled at the pout on Bella's sleepy face. "She's your mother, sweets, she loves you."

"Hmph." Bella looked doubtful as she swung her feet over the edge of the bed and stood up. "Go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you."

Edward lay back against the pillows. "It's no problem baby. I hope you can get some more sleep too."

Bella exited and pulled the door closed quietly behind her. Edward closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but sleep would not come. Instead, his mind was filled with concern for the woman on the other side of the door. Her relationship with her mother had always been difficult, and he knew she was worried about what this visit would hold.

_Edward looked up as the door to his dorm room burst open, revealing a slightly manic-looking Bella._

"_She lied to me!"_

"_Who lied to you?" Even as he asked the question, Edward suspected he already knew the answer. There was only one "she" who could possibly evoke this much emotion in his normally self-controlled friend._

"_Who do you think?" Edward winced as Bella slammed the door behind her and crossed the tiny room to throw herself down on Edward's bed._

"_What happened?"_

"_I don't want to talk about it." Bella picked up a book from the shelf next to Edward's bed and began to flip through it. Edward sat in silence, continuing to work on the composition in front of him. Bella clearly _did_ want to talk about it, but no amount of coercion or questioning on his part would make her talk before she was ready. The room was silent for several minutes before either of them spoke again._

"_You want anything?" Edward reached over and opened his small refrigerator. He extracted two bottles of water and extended one towards the girl huddled on the bed. She took the bottle from him and twisted off the cap._

"_Thanks."_

_He nodded in reply, then returned to working on his composition - or at least pretending to work - as he waited for her to speak._

"_She's living with someone."_

_Edward looked up from the papers on his desk, relieved that she had started talking, but still careful not to seem too interested. "Oh really? Who?"_

"_Some guy. His name's Fred or Frank or Francis - some stupid F name."_

"_Did you meet him?" As much as he wanted to go to her and try to offer some comfort to his clearly grieving friend, Edward stayed where he was. Years of experience had taught him that a false move would lead to an immediate and irrevocable emotional shutout._

"_Yes."_

_Edward remained silent, waiting for her to continue._

"_I went over to her new place...I thought I would surprise her. Try to be supportive, you know? So when I got there she was all weird, and there were tennis shoes in the living room floor. They were way to big to be hers, so I asked her whose they were, and she got all shifty and wouldn't answer. So then this guy comes out of the bedroom and tries to start talking to me. I asked my mom what the hell was going on, and she said...she said..." Bella's voice broke, and tears began to stream down her face. In a minute, Edward was next to her on the bed with a box of kleenex in hand. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side. Bella recovered herself quickly though, and pulled away from him. He could practically see her pulling her usual mantle of stoicism around herself like a blanket. _

"_What did she say?" he asked quietly._

"_She said," Bella answered, her voice full of bitterness, "that she needed someone to help with the rent and that he had moved in to help. When I asked her if he had any problem living with a married woman, she told me it was none of my business and asked me to leave." Bella stood, her face contorted, as she drew a shuddering breath, clearly trying to rein in her emotions. Edward thought she would probably feel better if she just let herself cry, but he knew that suggesting such a thing would be a very bad idea._

"_All those years lecturing Jasper and me about 'appropriate dating behavior' and 'setting proper limits' and all the grief she gave Jas when they found out about him and Maria, and now she's living with some random guy?" Bella paced around the room, gesticulating wildly. "She said they are just roommates, but it's a one-bedroom apartment! Does she think I'm stupid? She's such a fucking hypocrite. Literally." Bella laughed, a mirthless bark, and then threw herself back down on the bed. Edward was surprised at her statement - Bella rarely swore, and he was sure he had never heard her use that particular word._

"_I don't blame her for leaving Charlie, it's not like he's some great prize, but it's barely been a month since she moved out! Oh, and did I mention the fact that he's like, thirty?"_

"_No."_

"_Yep. My 42 year old mother is living with some random 30 year old guy. Do you realize that means he's only 12 years older than me? When she graduated from high school he was in Kindergarten! Gross!"_

"_Bella..." Edward was hesitant to speak, not wanting to make her more angry. "Bella, she's still your mother. She still loves you, she's just..."_

_Bella whirled off the bed, turning to face him. "She's what, Edward? What the hell is she?"_

_Edward reached out a hand to her and pulled her back down next to him. "I don't know. I'm sorry Bella."_

Edward's eyes opened, sleep now out of the question. He had forgotten how hurt and angry Bella had been at what she viewed as a betrayal by her mother. It had been months before she was willing to speak to her again, and by that time Fred or Frank or Francis had been gone and replaced by another nameless faceless man. Since that time Bella didn't ask about her mother's love life, and Renee didn't seem inclined to tell. Edward knew Bella was thankful for her mother's reticence.

He swung his legs off the bed and stood up. Maybe Bella wouldn't stay in his room, but he would be damned if her let her sleep in the living room alone.

****r~d****

"Well, isn't this cozy!" Bella's eyes flew open at the sound of her mother's voice. She was disoriented, confused for a moment about where she was and how she had arrived there. Her primary awareness was of Edward's warm presence behind her, and that she was reasonably certain she was not ready to be awake yet. She sat up groggily, perching on the edge of the couch in front of her fiancé's prone form.

"Mom? What time is it?" she asked quietly, rubbing her eyes. She glanced behind her, hoping that they had not woken Edward.

"It's after 7, lazybones! Time to be awake!" Her mother's voice was high-pitched, almost shrill, and Bella resisted the urge to cover her ears.

"Mom, please be quiet. Edward's still asleep."

"I see that." Renee's penciled-in eyebrows rose until they disappeared behind her bangs. "Do you really think this is appropriate, Bella?"

Bella inhaled sharply before she answered in a whisper. "Mother, please lower your voice. I don't think it is any of your business." She felt Edward's hand slide past hers beneath the blanket that still partially covered both of them, and then his fingers intertwined tightly with hers. _I guess he isn't as asleep as he looks, _she thought, thankful for his silent support.

Renee narrowed her eyes and gazed at her daughter for a moment, then appeared to decide something. "We'll talk about it later. I suppose you have towels somewhere? I would like to take a shower, if that is alright with you?"

"Yes, mom, of course. There are clean towels under the sink in the bathroom."

"Very well then." Renee turned and exited the room. As soon as she heard the bathroom door close, Edward shifted behind her, sitting up and sliding his arms around her waist, pulling until she was snug against him.

"Are you alright?" His voice was low, the words spoken directly into her ear, and were followed by a gentle kiss to her earlobe.

"I guess." Edward had shifted his attention from kissing her earlobe to nuzzling her hair, and Bella shivered.

"I'm proud of you for standing up to her."

"Yeah, well..." Bella was unsure which flustered her more - Edward's murmured compliment or the feel of his fingers caressing her sides. Either way, she found it nearly impossible to formulate a response. She relaxed back into him and let the heat from his body and his gentle touch drive the tension brought on by her mother's presence out of her body. They sat in silence until Bella felt herself start to doze off again. She was startled out of her stupor by several loud knocks on the door. She turned and looked at Edward, only to see her own confusion mirrored on his face. He raised his eyebrows and shrugged, then gently helped her to her feet before standing himself and moving towards the door. Bella followed close behind, curious to see who would be at their door this early on a Saturday. Most of the people in their life still operated on college time and probably didn't even know 7 o'clock came twice a day.

Edward opened the door to reveal a man Bella had never seen before. He was tall, with the powerful build of an aging athlete who has not entirely let himself go. Bella judged him to be in his mid to late thirties, and she repressed the urge to giggle at the sudden thought that it looked like his hairline was fleeing in fear from his heavy eyebrows. He smiled hesitantly, and Bella inhaled, about to greet the stranger, when her mother swept in from the room behind them, swathed in a silk kimono and smelling strongly of some perfume Bella did not recognize.

"Phil!" Renee wrapped her arms around the stranger and stood on tiptoes to kiss him briefly on the cheek. She turned to face her daughter, who had been struck dumb by the events of the past few minutes. "Bella, Edward, I would like you to meet my husband, Phil."

****r~d****

Breakfast probably didn't need quite as much attention as Edward was giving it, but he knew it was a better idea to focus on cooking than to involve himself in the conversation currently happening in the dining room unless he had to. He listened as the pancakes sizzled, alert for any sounds of distress from Bella. He wasn't sure what he could do exactly, but he would figure something out if the need arose.

When he considered the matter, Edward decided that conversation might not be the right word, given what he was hearing, or not hearing, from the next room. There hadn't been any yelling, which to some might appear to be a good thing, but Edward knew better. Angry loud Bella was infinitely preferable to cold silent fury Bella, and furious she was, indeed. Edward had let Renee and Phil back into the apartment after Bella had slammed the door on them while they stood in the hallway after Renee's introduction, and it had taken no small amount of persuasion, ranging from pleading to shouting, from Renee to get Bella to emerge from Edward's bedroom and come to the dining room, where the three of them, Bella, Renee, and Phil, currently sat.

Edward's attention was pulled away from eavesdropping on Renee's sporadic monologue by the vibration of the phone in his pocket.

_We're on our way up._

Edward slipped quietly from the kitchen, grateful that he did not have to pass through the dining room to get to the front door. He had wasted no time sending an urgent text message to both Alice and Jasper, asking them to come over, and to hurry. He opened the door and entered the hallway, waiting for the arrival of his soon-to-be brother and sister-in-law. They emerged from the stairwell with distressed expressions - Alice's worried, Jasper's angry.

"What did she do this time?" Jasper asked, his voice exasperated.

"She got married." Edward had been sparing with the details in his text messages, but he thought it best to give Jasper some warning about what he was about to walk into.

"She _what_?" Alice's voice was so high pitched on her last word that Edward was surprised it didn't start the neighbor's dog barking.

She got here last night, and then this morning a guy showed up at our door at Renee said he was her husband. His name is Phil. That's all I know."

"How did Bella take it?"

"Well, she didn't punch anyone - but she did shut them out in the hall." Edward chuckled at the memory of Renee's shocked face the instant before the door slammed. "She hasn't really said much since then."

Jasper inhaled deeply and squared his shoulders. He raised his eyebrows ruefully at his wife, then walked though the door.

Alice looked at Edward, concern puckering her delicate features. "What should we do?"

"You can come help me cook breakfast and listen in, if you want - unless you want to go join the fun?"

"Hells no. Cooking it is." They crossed the living room and entered the kitchen, where Edward flipped the pancakes on the griddle before joining Alice at the tiny table where she listened intently to Renee's voice floating in from the dining room.

"Honestly Bella, I don't understand where this hostility is coming from. It's not as if there is anything wrong with me getting married."

It was Jasper's voice they heard reply. "Some warning would have been nice, mom. How would you feel if some random guy showed up at your door and announced he was Bella's husband?"

"Don't be ridiculous Jasper. This wasn't some evil plot, Phil didn't think he could come, and he caught a last-minute flight. I was going to tell you this weekend! Besides, I would be thrilled if Bella ever managed to catch a husband, not angry."

"Mother, I am engaged." Just from the tone of her voice, Edward could picture Bella's expression - her mouth would be tight, and her eyes bright and strained from unshed tears.

"Yes dear, I know you said that, but you haven't even set a date yet!" Renee's laughter was like shattering glass. "And from what I saw this morning, I doubt there ever will be. No man is going to buy the cow when he can get the milk for free!"

At these words, Edward rose from the table and started for the dining room. As much as he hated to get involved, there was no way he was letting Bella face this alone. He was so focused on getting to her that he nearly ran her over on her way out of the dining room. He took one look at her face, then took her hand and pulled her towards his bedroom. Once they were closed in it's relative safety, he enfolded her in his arms. She stood stiffly for a moment, then seemed to sag against him. He felt moisture on the fabric covering his shoulder, and then felt her begin to shake with quiet sobs. He guided her to the bed and pulled her down next to him, settling them both back against the pillows so she could lay comfortably against him as she cried. He took a moment to say a quick prayer of thanks that, unlike that occasion a few years prior, Bella would at least allow herself to be comforted, instead of corralling all of her pain inside her carefully constructed walls.

He continued to cuddle her until her sobs slowed to an occasional hiccup. She lifted herself off his chest and rolled over onto her back, rubbing her face.

"This has not been a good day. And it's not even eight yet." Bella sighed deeply.

Edward propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at her face. Even blotchy and covered with tearstains, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

"I love you."

Bella looked back at him, raising her eyebrows in what looked like mild disbelief, but a tiny smile had begun to lift the corners of her mouth.

"And I'm dying to buy the cow. We can go find a nice cattle auction and buy it today if you want."

Her smile was unmistakable now.

"And as far as the milk goes...that's priceless, and I'll bet it's fantastic." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, which prompted a giggle from Bella. Edward scowled at her. "What are you laughing at woman? There is nothing funny about livestock!" Then, without warning, he pinned her to the bed and began blowing raspberries against the skin of her neck until she was shrieking with laughter. She managed to wiggle her arms free and retaliated, poking his sides where she knew he was most ticklish. The tickle fight continued until they both collapsed breathlessly onto their backs.

"I bet the pancakes are burned."

"That would be a shame," Bella replied, reaching over to pat his hand. "You make awesome pancakes."

Edward flipped his hand over and caught hers, weaving their fingers together. "Maybe Alice saved them."

"One can only hope."

They lay in silence for a little while, until Edward got up. "C'mon," he said, pulling Bella to her feet. "We've gotta to go back out sometime, might as well be now."

Bella resisted, collapsing like dead weight back onto the bed. "Do we have to?"

"Yep," Edward replied, pulling her back to her feet and into his arms. "But no matter what, you can always come back - you'll always be safe here with me."

****r~d****

Bella really, really hated to admit she was wrong. She hated to even admit the possibility that she _could_ be wrong. But by Saturday evening, she had begun to have a tiny suspicion that maybe she had been a bit hasty in her judgment of her new stepfather.

Phil wasn't so bad. In fact, he was kind of...nice. And somehow, by extension, he made her mother nicer too. Phil's last-minute arrival had not been the only surprise; he had managed to acquire tickets to a Mariners game that afternoon, so the six of them made their way to Safeco field for the afternoon. Bella was not much of a baseball fan, but she had fun letting Edward and Jasper try to explain the game to her, occasionally squabbling over various points of information. She found a certain pleasure as well in Edward's solicitous attention. Alice's eyes glowed as she watched them together and admired the diamond sparkling on Bella's hand. After perusing Bella's choice of jeans and one of Edward's t-shirts, Renee commented with a sigh that she "would love it if she had a really feminine daughter", but after Phil stepped in and said he thought Bella looked nice, Renee made no more critical comments. By the end of the game, she was almost mellow, laughing at Jasper's jokes and even telling Bella that she liked the way she had worn her hair. Bella was astounded at Phil's influence on Renee, since she was normally as tense as an overwound spring.

After the game, Phil offered to take them all to dinner, since, as he said, "they hadn't made it to the wedding" - Bella resisted the urge to point out that they had not actually been_ invited_ to the wedding, since she did not want to disturb the tenuous peace that had been struck among her various family members, but she exchanged an eye-roll with Jasper when her mother wasn't looking.

They found a sports-themed bar and grill near the stadium, and had a fun dinner, full of light conversation. They learned that Phil was a plumber who had played baseball when he was younger, but his dreams of going pro, along with his college scholarship, had disappeared when he had torn his ACL - sadly enough, it hadn't even happened while he was playing ball, but in a waterskiing accident. He asked lots of questions, and seemed genuinely interested in learning about not just his two new stepchildren, but their significant others as well. He discussed a civil war documentary he had seen on the History Channel with Jasper, and although he swore he knew nothing about fashion, he listened attentively as Alice described the new summer designs. He chatted with Edward about music, even writing down some of the bands Edward said he liked so that he could look them up. He admitted to Bella that he had never been able to comprehend Shakespeare, and said he was impressed that not only did she get it, but that she loved it. Renee sat quietly through most of the conversation, occasionally commenting on the food or asking a question. Bella could not remember having a more pleasant evening in the presence of either of her parents, and by the end of the evening, she was both pleased that her mom had married Phil, and mystified at how on Earth she had managed to wind up with such a nice guy.

It was only after they returned to Edward and Bella's apartment and were seated in the living room that Renee again broached the subject of her daughter's pending nuptials.

"Bella dear, if you are serious about this engagement you really should choose a wedding date. Plane tickets are expensive, you know, and the sooner we can buy them the better."

"Well..." Bella trailed off and looked at Edward, a question in her eyes. He nodded and smiled in encouragement.

Bella took a deep breath before addressing her mother. "Mom, it's going to be a while until the wedding. I've been offered a fellowship to study in London, and I've accepted."

Renee's eyes widened, but before she could speak, Bella found herself tackled to the couch by a flying ball of squealing Alice. "Bella! That's so amazing! Is it the Stratford thing? Ohmygosh that's so great! I knew you would get it, I just knew it!"

Jasper laughed at his wife's antics. "Alice, stop jumping up and down on Bella before you puncture her lung or something. Congratulations, baby sister. I knew you could do it."

Bella blushed deeply and buried her face in Edward's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Dear, are you sure you want to do that?" At Renee's question, the the room fell silent.

Bella turned to her mother, confused. "What?"

"Are you really sure you want to do that? Do you honestly think it is a good idea?"

Bella looked her mother in the eyes. "Yes mom, I do. I'm sure. Why on Earth would I pass up an opportunity like this?"

Phil tried to interrupt his wife, but it was no use. "No Phil, she needs to hear this, I am only looking out for her best interests." Renee shrugged off Phil's restraining hand and spoke as if she were explaining the rules of Candyland to a very small child. "You've found a man who says he wants to marry you. It seems very silly to give that up just to go read some old plays."

Bella's eyes filled with tears, but before she could say anything, Renee continued. "After all, you can read plays anytime, but you never know if another man will come along who wants you. You really should snatch him up while you can. Stop that silly crying, I am just saying this for your own good."

"The Stratford fellowship is a once in a lifetime opportunity," Bella said, rising from the couch, "and besides, I am not giving up anything. Edward is coming to London with me."

Renee stood as well, and faced her daughter. "That is unacceptable. You will do no such thing."

Bella's eyes blazed behind her unshed tears. "Mother, this is not your decision to make. It is mine, and I have made it. I am going to London, and Edward is coming with me. End of story." She turned to walk away, but Renee grabbed her arm.

"Young lady, you stay where you are and listen. It is bad enough that you are living with him here, but you are absolutely not going traipsing off halfway around the world to live in sin with your boyfriend just so you can study more useless nonsense. The only way I would even consider letting you go is if you marry him first."

Bella took a deep breath, but before she could speak, she felt Edward's strong hand on her arm, above where her mother still gripped tightly. He gently extracted Renee's fingers and stepped between the two women. When he spoke, his voice was calm and quiet, but it carried unquestionable authority.

"Renee, I am going to have to ask you to leave."

"What?" Renee's voice was high with disbelief.

"We appreciate you coming, but if you are going to continue to speak to Bella this way, you are no longer welcome in our home. Please get your things and go." Edward turned away from Renee and took Phil's hand, shaking it politely. "Phil, it was very nice to meet you. Thank you for the game and dinner. I apologize if my decision inconveniences you, but I am sure you understand that I cannot allow this conversation to continue." Phil shook Edward's hand in silence, and put a hand on Renee's back.

"Come on, let's get your things." He led her out of the room and closed the door to Bella's bedroom behind them, effectively silencing her protests. The four that remained in the living room sat in silence for a few moments until they re-emerged with Phil carrying two suitcases.

Edward stood and met them before they got too far into the room. He put his hand gently on Renee's arm and spoke softly. "If you would be willing to apologize to Bella, I am sure she would try to work this out. I know she would love to have a real relationship with you."

Renee looked at him, scorn apparent on her face. "I will do no such thing. I am not apologizing when I have done nothing wrong. She always was a completely unmanageable child. Good luck with her. I wash my hands of the both of you." She shook off Edward's hand and strode out the front door, leaving Phil standing in the middle of the room.

He looked at the four of them sadly. "I'm really sorry things turned out like this. You all seem like nice kids." He paused briefly, the raised his eyebrows hopefully. "Ok if I look you up on Facebook?" At his words, Bella rose and nodded at him. She hesitated for a moment, then crossed to him and placed her arms briefly around his neck. He hugged her back, then hoisted the suitcases and followed his wife out the door.

Bella dropped back onto the couch, and Edward sat down beside her and picked up one of her cold hands. "Are you ok?"

"You just threw my mother out." Bella blinked and shook her head, as if she was trying to clear her vision.

"Bella, sweetheart, are you alright? She was awfully hard on you..."

"You just...you actually...you threw her out."

Edward's voice was filled with concern. "I know that baby, I was there. But I am more worried about you."

"I'm...I'm good, I think. I'm great, actually. It's kind of a shame about Phil though - I liked him." Suddenly Bella flung her arms around an unexpecting Edward, knocking him off balance. "You just threw my mother out! Will you marry me?"

Edward laughed as he righted himself and placed a squeaky kiss on Bella's cheek. "Anytime, baby. You just name the day."

****r~d****

Edward was pulling his comforter down when he heard the familiar knock on his door, followed by the voice he loved more than any other in the world.

"Everybody decent?"

He crossed quickly to the door and pulled it open to reveal Bella in the pajamas he had bought her for her birthday her senior year of high school - the Buffy-inspired "yummy sushi" pajamas. He laughed as she spun around.

"Like them? I was looking for something in a drawer and I found them. I had totally forgotten I even had them here."

Edward grinned down at her. "You look delicious, just like yummy sushi." He circled her waist with his hands, then bent down and bit her shoulder, right over a picture of a California roll.

"Hey! No biting! My sushi!" Bella tried to pull away, but he held her fast and moved his mouth from her shoulder to her neck, kissing gently. Bella ceased struggling and melted against him. "That's better."

With more willpower than he knew he possessed, Edward eventually stepped away from her. "Let's go to bed. It has been a long, difficult day." He cocked an eyebrow at her. "May I assume you won't be sleeping on the couch tonight?"

Bella plopped herself onto the bed. "Nope. Thanks to you."

Edward got into bed next to where Bella was wiggling her way under the duvet. He lay his arm out behind her and she snuggled into his side.

"Are you ok with everything that happened? I feel bad - it wasn't really my business. I just couldn't stand to watch her treat you like that."

"Are you kidding?" Bella turned and propped herself up on his chest so she could see his face. "Edward, no one has ever stood up for me like that. No one. Not even Jasper. He defied them, sure, and he was always on my side, but what you did..." Bella scrunched her face up and dropped her head onto Edward's chest. Her voice was muffled as she continued, "that was amazing."

They lay together quietly for a long time, Bella's head resting on him and his fingers stroking slowly thorough her hair. Edward reached over and switched off the lamp beside the bed, then resumed his previous ministrations. He could feel the tension gradually leaving Bella's body, although he could tell she was still awake.

"We could, you know." He spoke quietly into the dark room.

"We could what?" Bella's voice was sleepy.

"Get married. We still have a few weeks before the fellowship begins. We could go ahead and do it now, before we leave. I know you don't want to elope, but I bet you and Alice and Esme could pull something together.

Bella was quiet for so long that Edward began to wonder if he should have said anything. Finally she replied, her voice uncertain.

"I don't know, Edward. It's all so fast, and there's so much going on - I haven't even heard back from the Stratford people yet, I don't know what housing is like, and I have no idea how heavy my workload will be, and it might affect what the fellowship pays for..." Bella trailed off, but Edward could feel that the tension that had so recently left her had returned.

"It's ok baby, we don't have to do anything. You're right, too much is up in the air. Forget I mentioned it." Listening to his words, Edward thought he had been successful in keeping the disappointment out of his voice. He hoped he had. "Go to sleep, sweets, you've had a hard day." He ran his fingers up and down her back, stroking the muscles there, until he could tell she had fallen asleep. But despite his fatigue, Edward spent much of the night watching the lights from outside reflecting on the ceiling, his mind too full to fall asleep.

A/N Thanks so much to everyone who has read my little story. Every review or story alert email I receive is like a very tiny Christmas morning!

If I may take a moment to rec, go check out Coming Through The Rye. Lots of fun ,plus Scottish accents! http :/ www . fanfiction . net/s/6048208/1/Coming_Through_the_Rye


	9. Chapter 9

Twilight and all its characters are the property of Stephanie Meyer.

"Mr. Cullen, thanks for coming in today."

"Thanks for seeing me, Mr. Banner."

"I know your time is valuable, so I will cut right to it. The reason I wanted to talk to you, Mr. Cullen, is that we have been very impressed with your work here. Very impressed indeed. As I am sure you are aware, musicians do not tend to be the most reliable sort, so to see someone with your work ethic and dedication has been very refreshing."

Edward's hopes rose - if they were that happy with him, maybe he would be able to convince his boss to hold his job for him for a year - or better yet, to allow him him to work from London for the duration of his stay.

"An opportunity has arisen, Mr. Cullen, that I am very pleased to offer you. You are familiar, I assume, with the group Poor Ornery People?"

"Yes, sir." Edward was indeed familiar with them. They were an up-and-coming group whose combination of folk and Celtic sound was beautiful and intriguing. They had met with no small amount of local success, and while he wouldn't call himself a fan exactly, he had heard them play several times and had enjoyed it immensely.

"Good." Mr. Banner punctuated his statement with a little nod. "They are preparing to record an album with us, and are scheduled to go into the studio next week. Yesterday their pianist suffered a small accident and will not be able to play on the album."

"What happened?"

Mr. Banner rolled his eyes. "Apparently he was skateboarding and fell down a flight of concrete stairs." He paused at Edward's gasp. "He's fine, and should recover, but he broke his wrist and 3 fingers. As you can imagine, that will make recording impossible."

Edward nodded. Mr. Banner had just described every pianist's worst nightmare.

"Anyway," Mr. Banner continued, seemingly unaware of the horror his words had provoked, "they are planning a tour in a few months, and they can't afford to wait for him to heal before recording the album. So they want you."

Edward wasn't sure he had heard correctly. "Excuse me?"

"Apparently you have earned quite a reputation among the local musicians. They have heard your work, and they want you to record the album with them. Obviously this would be a step up from the work you are doing now, and would include a pay increase along with royalties. It could also lead to other opportunities down the road. Congratulations, son."

"Sir, I..."

"We'll work out all the details later, I'm sure we can come to an agreement that would be amenable to all parties involved."

"Sir, I appreciate it, but..."

"No appreciation needed, son, you deserve it." Mr Banner pressed a button on his phone. "Mrs. Cope, can you send Garrett in please?"

A moment later the door opened and a man entered - a man Edward recognized as one of the members of Poor Ornery People.

"Garrett, I would like to introduce Edward Cullen - Edward, Garrett Sheffield."

Edward rose and met Garrett's outstretched hand with his own. He felt a little star-struck.

"Good to meet you, man." Garrett's handshake was firm as he smiled brightly at Edward.

It took Edward a moment to find his voice. "Nice to meet you too. It's a real honor."

"The honor's all mine. Sorry the rest of the band couldn't make it, we're all really happy to have you with us."

Mr. Banner cleared his throat, attracting the attention of the other two young men in the room.

"We can work out all the details on Monday - you two go ahead out and celebrate." He came aroud the desk and laid a hand on Edward's shoulder. "Have a good weekend son, and congratulations."

Edward and Garrett left the office together. Edward wondered if should pinch himself. He was roused from his daze by Garrett's voice.

"Wanna go grab a beer? I could probably round up a couple of the guys." Edward nodded, and Garrett pulled out his phone and began text messaging.

Before he really knew what was happening, Edward found himself at a table in a bar around the corner form his office building, surrounded by three members of the band. He was a little anxious at first, but soon he found himself laughing and chatting easily with them. He began to get excited at the prospect of spending the time with them recording an album, and the thought of a tour began to seem like more of a real possibility.

_Except I can't go. _The thought sprang into Edward's mind with a pang of guilt.

_I won't say anything about it now - I should really talk to Mr. Banner first. Besides, it can't hurt to get to know them, right? _Edward pushed his worries, and the thought that he might be handing this all wrong, out of his mind for the moment.

Time slipped away without Edward's notice, and before he realized it it was almost seven. He had left the office before four, and was amazed at how quickly the time had passed, and how much fun the evening had been. He bade the band goodbye and headed back to where his car was parked.

The drive home, which never failed to seem interminable on Friday afternoons, passed all too quickly. Edward was so lost in his thoughts that when he found himself pulling into a space in the parking deck near his apartment he could not remember driving home.

_I've got to pull it together._

He climbed the stairs and pushed open the door to find Bella seated on the sofa with her computer on her lap. He supposed she must be absorbed in whatever she was doing, because she didn't appear to notice that he had entered the room.

"Bella."

She started, emitting a tiny squeak of surprise. She grabbed her laptop, which had nearly fallen when she jumped.

"Edward! You scared me to to death!" She sat the computer on the coffee table without closing it, and stood, crossing the room to greet him. _I don't want to stay here without her, _he thought as her felt her arms slide around his waist.

"Hi."

"Hi," he replied. He buried his face in her hair and held her tight, reveling her scent and the feel of her in his arms.

She pulled back slightly and looked up at his face. "You ok?" she asked, reaching up to smooth the small crease between his eyes.

Edward nodded and gave her a final squeeze before releasing her.

"I'll be back in a minute." Bella lifted her face and placed a kiss on his cheek before she walked out of the living room, heading towards her bedroom.

Edward sat down on the sofa. His attention was drawn by the email currently open on Bella's computer screen.

_Dear Ms. Swan,_

_We are delighted that you have decided to join us for this year's Stratford Fellowship program. _

_Thank you for your inquiry regarding living arrangements for program participants. As you know, due to the intensive nature of the program, all program participants are required to live in university housing. After reviewing your situation, we regret to inform you that we will be unable to approve your request for an exception to this requirement. There is no coeducational housing available for singles on our campus._

_There is a limited amount of on-campus housing for married students. Depending on your circumstances, this may provide a solution for your housing dilemma._

_Please inform us of your plans as soon as possible._

_Best wishes, _

_Jane Volturi_

_Director of Student Affairs_

_Stratford Foundation_

Edward sat back on the sofa with a sigh. That definitely made things more complicated, but it was still doable. Even if he could not live with her, he could still get an apartment in the city nearby. Surely she would have _some_ free time that they could spend together, and once everything was settled and she had found a routine, they would probably have even more time. He would talk to Mr. Banner on Monday. He hoped that Mr. Banner's irritation when Edward turned down the offer to record would not prevent him from considering Edward's request to work from London.

Edward was turning to call towards Bella's room, planning to ask her what she wanted to do with their evening, when his phone rang. He checked the caller id before he answered.

_Carlisle. Good, maybe he can help me decide what to do._

_****r~d****_

Bella had been planning to ask Edward what had kept him, but the words died on her lips when she walked into the living room and saw the look on Edward's face.

"Baby, what's wrong?" She could not remember ever seeing Edward look so upset.

"Dad just called. Mom...she...oh, god..." Bella quickly circled the sofa and sat down next to him, taking his hands in hers.

"Edward! What happened? Edward!"

"Mom was driving home and she hit a deer. They don't know how long she sat there until someone found her...she's on her way to the emergency room right now...they don't know if she...Edward broke off with a choked sob.

"Oh! Edward, I'm so sorry!" Bella pulled Edward into her embrace and held him tightly, trying to soothe away the tremors she felt travelling through his body. "Do you want to go to Forks?" Edward did not reply for a little while, then Bella felt him nod against her shoulder.

"Give me five minutes." Bella shot up off the sofa and went into Edward's room, mentally making a list of what they would need to take for a weekend most likely spent in a hospital waiting room. She grabbed a pair of his jeans and a pair of sweatpants, a couple of t-shirts and a hoodie, then pulled out a few pairs of clean underwear. She went in his bathroom and picked up his toothbrush and toothpaste and shampoo. She removed a duffel bag from his closet and stuffed everything into it, then carried it to her room, where she located similar items for herself. Less than five minutes later she was back in the living room, where Edward had composed himself somewhat.

"Are you ok to drive, sweetheart? I can if you need me to." Edward silently nodded and handed Bella his keys. It was a rare occasion that Edward allowed anyone else to drive his car - Bella took it as an indication of exactly how upset he must be.

"Don't forget your phone." Edward picked up the device from where it lay on the coffee table, and they went out the door, Bella locking it behind them.

It was late enough in the day for traffic to be manageable, and they were able to get out of the city quickly. As soon as they hit open highway, Bella took Edward's hand in hers and held it tightly in her lap, stroking his fingers and murmuring reassurances that everything would be ok. They both jumped when Edward's phone rang, and he fumbled with it before he managed to tap the screen to answer.

Bella struggled to keep her mind on driving as she listened to Edward's side of the conversation.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, we're on our way."

"Alright."

"OK"

"I understand. I love you too."

Edward tapped his screen again and slumped in his seat. Bella reached over and took his cold hand.

"What did he say?"

"She's in surgery. They don't think she is as injured as they originally thought, but they won't know anything else for a little while. Are you alright to keep driving?"

Bella nodded and put her hand on the back of Edward's neck, gently rubbing the tense muscles there. They continued on through the growing dusk, speaking only occasionally. Bella drove as fast as she dared, the needle on the speedometer creeping slowly higher and higher as they got closer to Forks and the relative safety of Charlie's police friends. When the needle crept over ninety, Edward slid his hand onto her thigh.

"Baby, I appreciate the thought, but a reckless driving ticket isn't going to help anything, and getting there a few minutes earlier isn't worth risking another accident." She smiled at him and turned his hand over, weaving her fingers through his.

"Esme will be ok, Edward. She has to be." Bella said a quick prayer that her words would prove true. She could not imagine the devastation to all of them if Esme were to...she couldn't even think about it.

A little less than three hours after they left their apartment, Bella pulled into the parking lot of the hospital in Forks. Almost before she had stopped the car, Edward was out of the door and headed into the building. Bella hurried behind him. Both of them were familiar with the place - Edward because his father had been on staff since before he was born, and Bella because her clumsiness had caused her to be a frequent visitor as a teenager. They quickly found their way to the emergency room, where Edward consulted with the nurse on duty. He turned to Bella and spoke for the first time since they entered the hospital.

"She's still in surgery. Dad's up in the OR waiting room."

****r~d****

Edward felt bad about almost leaving Bella behind, but he could not seem to find the patience to wait another minute. The drive had been nearly unbearable, and it took all of his self-control not to scream in frustration at the time it took to get to where his mother lay in surgery, maybe even...he couldn't think about it.

He could never remember his father sounding like that. His voice on the phone had been flat, lifeless, far from the warm tones he usually possessed. His father had always been the one he could turn to for help or support; he could not imagine how he would handle it if that were no longer the case.

Fortunately, the nurse in the ER had recognized him and had known a bit of what was going on. She had directed him to the waiting room where she knew his father would most likely be. He said a silent prayer of thanks that he knew exactly where to go. He trusted Bella to follow along as he jogged towards the OR lounge.

Carlisle's blond hair was immediately recognizable among the few people seated in the small room. He rose when he saw Edward push though the swinging doors, and crossed the room to embrace his son. He pulled away and turned to tug Bella into his arms as well.

"Thanks for coming, sweetheart. Thank you for bring my son to me."

"What's happening, dad? It's been a long time since you called."

"We're still waiting. I talked to Dr. Anderson before she went in to surgery, and she said she would let us know something as soon as possible. She's a good doctor, your mother is in excellent hands. Let's sit down."

Bella sat down on a loveseat and pulled Edward down beside her. It was suprisingly comfortable for a hospital waiting room. Carlisle sat in an armchair facing them. He squared his shoulders and began to speak.

"It appears that your mother hit a deer on her way home. She was either knocked out or lost control of the car - either way she drove over the shoulder and down the embankment into a tree. We were very fortunate - the road she was on has very steep sides, and the area she drove off was once of the few relatively flat areas. If she had driven off the road at any other point the drop would have certainly been fatal. Her angels must have been watching carefully."

Edward felt Bella grip his hand tightly as they continued to listen to Carlisle's story.

"Her external injuries were not too severe, considering the collision, but she was there for several hours before anyone spotted the car and called for help. He blood pressure was very low when she came in, indicating a severe internal bleed. Dr. Anderson is currently attempting to repair the internal injury that caused that bleed. She has had several transfusions, and when she went into surgery she was relatively stable, but If they are unable to stop the internal bleeding, then..." Carlisle trailed off.

"Can I give blood for her?" Edward felt completely helpless, and had latched onto the one thing he thought he could do to help.

"You can certainly donate blood son, but you are B positive and your mother is A negative. She cannot accept B positive blood."

"What about me Carlisle?" Bella spoke hesitantly. "I am type O negative."

Carlisle smiled at Bella. "Yes, sweetheart, that would work. I can make the arrangements if you like." Bella nodded in assent. Edward felt his heart swell at the thought that his fiancee loved his mother enough to give her blood.

"I am going to go back in and see what I can find out - I can't go into the OR but I might be able to do something. Will you two be alright here? You know where the cafeteria is if you need coffee or anything."

"We'll be ok dad." Edward stood along with his father, and hugged him before sitting back down next to Bella.

"Can I do anything, Edward? Do you want anything?" Bella stroked the skin of his arm as she spoke, and Edward felt calm start to steal through him at her touch. Edward shook his head. She grabbed a pillow from a nearby chair and laid it in her lap, pulling Edward down so that his head lay on it. He looked up at the soft brown eyes gazing down at him.

"I am sure she is going to be fine Edward. Your mother is strong." Edward grasped at the certainty in Bella's voice. _She has to be alright._

She reached down and began to stroke his hair, toying with it and twirling it between her fingers. She did not speak again, but continued to caress his hair and scalp until Edward felt his mind begin to drift and his body relax. It became more and more difficult to lift his eyelids after each blink, and finally he stopped trying.

****r~d****

"Edward?" At the sound of his father's voice, Edward woke from his doze and lifted his head from where it had been resting in Bella's lap. Edward stood to meet him in the center of the room. Bella followed behind Edward, standing slightly behind him and putting her arm around his waist.

"Esme is out of surgery, Edward. Everything went very well. Would you like to see her?"

Edward nodded. Edward turned to Bella and kissed her on the forehead. "We'll be back soon," he murmured, and she squeezed him gently before releasing him. She watched as the two men passed through the large double doors.

"Hey Bells." At the unexpected voice behind her, Bella turned to find her father standing a few feet away.

"Hi dad." He approached her hesitantly and stopped when he was standing a few feet away..

"I heard about Esme. I didn't take the call, the accident was too far out but...well, I wondered if you might be here.

"Yeah, we came down when we heard."

Bella considered her father. He was in his uniform, but instead of making him look intimidating, as it always had in Bella's memory, he just looked...small. He was thinner than he had been the last time she had seen him, and his shirt and pants looked overly large. Apart from a brief phone call when she and Edward had gotten engaged, a call that had been solely at Edward's insistence, they had not spoken since that terrible day she had visited on his birthday. She was suddenly struck by how sort of...pitiful...he looked.

"You wanna sit down, dad?"

Charlie looked uncomfortable as he perched on the edge of one of the soft chairs in the lounge. Bella sat down across from him, on the same loveseat she and Edward had been sitting in moments before.

Silence stretched between them like blank canvas.

"So, um. How ya been, Bells?" Charlie's question was forced, and punctuated by a cough.

"I'm fine dad. How are you?"

"I'm alright, I guess...back been troubling me a bit."

"I'm sorry."

"I heard your mother got married."

Bella was surprised by these words. "How did you hear that?"

"Talked to your brother."

"Oh."

"Heard they came to see you." It was a statement, not a question, and Bella was unsure whether he expected a reply.

"Yeah. Phil's nice." _Mom's not. _ She did not dare say the words out loud, unsure how her father would react, even after several years of being divorced.

"That's what Jasper said. Said your mom was pretty hard on you."

"Mmm-hmm."

Again the silence fell between them, so palpable that Bella thought she could probably slice it up and serve it with crackers.

"Anything new with you?"

"Yeah, I...I'm leaving in a few weeks. For London."

"London?" Charlie was clearly surprised by this information - apparently Jasper hadn't told him everything that was going on. "Why? For how long?"

"Almost a year. I got a fellowship. It's kind of a big deal - they only take about a hundred people."

"From the US?"

"From the whole world."

Charlie appeared to consider this for a moment. "I thought you were supposed to be getting married."

"I am." Bella fingered the ring on her left hand, twisting it around her finger. "We're waiting until I get back."

"Well, that's...that's really something Bella. London, hunh? And Edward doesn't mind waiting so long?"

Bella contemplated for a moment the best way to answer her father. Mentioning that Edward was going with her might not be the best plan, since her father had been so opposed to their current living arrangements - then again, he might be pleased that Bella would not be living in a foreign country alone. Either way, it was inevitable that he would find out eventually, so she might as well tell him now.

"Edward is coming with me, dad."

Charlie was silent for a moment, and Bella braced herself for the explosion she felt sure was coming. But it never came.

"Is he really? Well...that's...real nice, Bells."

_What?_

"Um, yeah, dad, it is. We're excited."

"Best not to rush into anything, I suppose."

Bella could barely comprehend her father's words. He wasn't yelling, be wasn't turning purple, and at no point in the conversation had he implied that she was a whore for moving overseas with her fiance.

_Did Charlie have a near-death experience or something?_

"So, um, Bells...well, I gotta tell you...I know I don't say it much, but...I'm real proud of you."

Bella wondered for a moment if she had had a stroke, or fallen into an alternate reality where her parents and Edward's had switched personalities.

"Uh...thanks, dad," she managed to stammer through her shock. He continued.

"I know I've been hard on you...probably not going to win father of the year or anything..." Charlie ran an uncomfortable hand over his thinning hair. "Hell, maybe I shouldn't have even had kids. But, it seems like you have done pretty well for yourself. You and your brother both turned out ok."

"I guess." Bella's mind suddenly whirled though all the ways she was definitely _not_ ok; her fears, her insecurities, the difficulty she faced letting anyone in - but she decided it wasn't worth trying to elucidate those to her father when he was clearly trying to...she wasn't entirely sure _what_ he was trying to do, exactly, but it was different, and not entirely unpleasant, to have her father be nice to her for once.

Charlie stood, and Bella followed suit. "I'd better go...I'm on duty, but I wanted to see if you were here...let me know how Esme does, alright?"

"I will. I'll tell Carlisle you came by."

"Thanks Bells. And Bella?" Charlie was looking at the ground, even as he said her name.

"Yeah dad?"

"Give me a call sometime...you know, if you want to...let me know how London is."

Bella could only nod. She felt tears prick her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.

"It was good to see you, kid." Charlie stepped closer to her, and reached towards her in what Bella suspected might have been the beginnings of a hug, but he seemed to lose his nerve halfway and instead patted her awkwardly on the arm. "Bye now. Be safe driving back."

"I will." She turned to watch her father walk out the door.

****r~d****

Looking down at his mother, Edward tried desperately to control his emotions and swallow the lump rising in his throat. Esme had always been so strong, no matter what circumstances she was facing. Now she was lying in a bed, nearly unrecognizable under the wires and tubes attached to virtually every part of her body. Her hair, normally so vibrant that it might as well be alive, lay limp against the white pillow. Her beautiful, creamy skin was pale and waxen and marred with purpling bruises. Her eyes were closed and her chest rose and fell slowly, as it had any of the thousand times Edward had seen his mother asleep; but, despite his best efforts, he could not convince his mind to believe that she was just sleeping.

Instead, it insisted on thinking she was dying.

He battled the urge to weep, or run from the room, or collapse, but instead remained stationary, his hands gripping the rail on the side of the bed until he felt his fingers begin to protest.

When he was four years old, Edward had declared to his parents that he was too old to continue calling them mommy and daddy, and from that point forward they had been mom and dad. Until this moment.

"Mommy?" He reached a tentative finger out to stroke her face, down her temple and cheek to her jaw. "I'm here...me and dad, we're here...Bella too, and we all want you to get better. We need you to...stay here. With us." Edward's words stopped as he choked back a sob.

Carlisle's hand came up and took Edward's, and together they stood next to the bed and gazed down at the woman who had created their world.

"Dad?" Edward's voice was jolting in the silence of the room, broken only by the humming and beeping of the machines surrounding Esme's body. "Is she...will she..."

Carlisle continued to hold Edward's hand firmly. "Dr. Anderson said the surgery went well. They've stopped the bleeding and her blood pressure has stabilized. She may still need some blood, and she has a long road ahead of her...there are never any guarantees. Edward, you must understand that. None of us is promised tomorrow. But medically, it looks like she is going to recover over time."

"How on Earth are you so calm?"

"I am a lot older than you son, and it's my job to deal with situations like this. That's not to say I haven't had my moments. There is no worse feeling in the world than being trained to save lives and knowing that you cannot do anything to save the person you love most in the world."

"I can imagine." Edward's thoughts leapt to Bella, sitting alone in the waiting room. _If anything were to happen to her...I don't know what I would do._

"I think I am going back to check on Bella. I don't want to leave her out there alone for too long."

"Alright son." Carlisle's smile was warm as he looked at his son. "I'm going to stay here. Let me know if you guys want to head out - you can stay at the house tonight if you want. I'll call you if anything changes"

Edward left the room, but glanced back in through the window in the door before heading back to the waiting room. His father had pulled a chair up beside Esme's bed and sat holding her hand. As he watched, Carlisle learned down to place a kiss on his wife's forehead. Edward turned, feeling as if he were intruding on intimacy he was never meant to see, and started down the hall towards his love.

****r~d****

Bella took Edward's hand as he stopped his car in the driveway of his parents' home. He had not said much after leaving the hospital, and she was worried about his state of mind.

"Hey. You ok?" She reached up and cupped his cheek in her hand.

He nodded, then turned his face to kiss her palm. "I'm really tired," he replied softly. "Let's go in and go to bed." They entered the dark house and headed up the stairs towards Edward's old room. Bella grabbed her bag and headed into the hall bathroom to change and brush her teeth.

She entered the bedroom to find Edward sitting on the bed. Bella smiled to herself at the sight of him - he looked so much like the little boy she had grown up with. He had apparently located an old pair of pajamas in a drawer somewhere; they were too short in the arms and legs, and looked worn, but still fit, essentially. He looked up when her heard her approach, and smiled, reaching for her. He pulled her close to him, between his legs, wrapping his arms around her waist and and resting his head on her stomach.

"Bella, I'm so glad you are here with me. I don't know what I would have done..."

Bella cradled his head gently in her hands. "I'm happy I could be here, Edward. I love your mom, you know that." She pulled away from him and rounded the bed, then climbed in and pulled the covers up over herself. Edward had not moved from his earlier position, so she reached over and tugged on his pajamas.

"Come on, you'll feel better if you get some sleep. We'll go back in the morning." He laid down next to her, their bodies close together on the small bed.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Bella asked. "I can go sleep in another room, there's not a lot of room here. I still can't believe you slept in a twin size bed until you moved out." She giggled, and Edward poked her in the side.

"Shut it. It's not like you were any different." She continued to giggle until Edward silenced her by finding her lips with his.

Bella loved kissing Edward, but she was a little surprised at his action. Because they had decided to wait to make love until after they were married, they rarely did anything physical in bed beyond snuggling, since stopping once they started had proven difficult. She soon relaxed into the kiss though, relishing the feel of his mouth, the smell of his skin, the feel of his slight stubble. There was an intensity in Edward's kiss tonight that she had never felt before. It was almost desperation. He broke off the kiss briefly, and they both took a few deep breaths before his mouth descended to hers again. He rolled so that his body covered hers partially, and his hand began to creep downwards from where it had been gripping her shoulder. He gently caressed her waist for a few minutes, then Bella felt his hand slide under the hem of her tank top and begin to explore her ribcage. When she felt his fingers graze the underside of her breast, she pulled away.

"Edward."

He did not acknowledge her, instead he moved his head so that he was nuzzling and kissing her neck as his hands continued their exploration. Bella found herself sinking back into the pleasurable haze brought on by the feel if his mouth and fingers.

_Why did I want to stop, again?_

Edward shifted himself again on the bed, and Bella would have toppled off the edge of the small mattress if it hadn't been for Edward's body on hers. The realization helped to bring her out of the fog just long enough remember what she was going to say.

"Edward? Baby, stop." She pulled away from him as far as she could in the limited space. He groaned.

"What is it, Bella?"

Bella was a little taken aback by the annoyed tone of his voice, but she persisted. "Sweetheart, we have to stop. If you want to take things further than we have, we can, but we need to talk about it first."

Edward sighed deeply and rolled over onto his back, covering his face with his hands.

"I'm tired of talking."

Bella followed him and pulled one of his hands off his face into hers.

"I understand. But this isn't the right place. You would be mad at yourself later, you know you would."

Edward huffed and opened one eye to look at her.

"Besides," she added, lifting herself onto one elbow to look down at him, "do you really want our first time to be at two in the morning, in your parents' house, in your old twin-size bed?" She raised her eyebrows as he scrunched up his face, then sighed again.

"I guess not." Bella scooted down to rest her head on his chest, but he stopped her. "Can you give me a minute? I need to...calm down."

"Sure. Do you want me to leave?" Bella started to get out of bed, but Edward replied before she could.

"No, stay there, just...stay on your side for a bit, alright?

She thought to herself that there wasn't really enough bed for her to have a side, but she complied with his request. She looked over, and could see in the moonlight coming through the window that he had his eyes closed and was taking deep breaths. She had begun to wonder if he had fallen asleep when he opened his eyes and smiled over at her. She smiled back, tentatively, and he reached for her. He pulled her close and tucked himself behind her. As she drifted off to sleep, she felt his lips and breath on her ear as he whispered "I love you."

Bella woke confused. It took her a moment to remember where she was, and how she had arrived there. Once she had oriented herself she tried to determine what had awakened her. It was still dark outside, so she knew she could not have been asleep for very long. Then she heard it again - a muffled chiming sound that was coming from the chair in the corner of the room. As soon as she realized what it was she slid out of bed and located her jeans. She extricated her phone from her pocket and saw she had three missed calls, all in the last ten minutes, all from a number she did not recognize.

She exited the bedroom and closed the door quietly behind her, then dialed the mystery number. She was not entirely surprised at the voice she heard on the other end.

****r~d****

"Edward!"

"Edward, wake up!"

Edward swatted idly at the hand he felt shaking him. He was too tired to wake up. His eyes would not open, they were too heavy.

"Go 'way," he mumbled, hoping that whoever the voice belonged to would do exactly that.

The bed dipped as the someone sat down next him and continued to pester him.

"Edward!" Shake. "Wake up!" Shake. "Please baby, you have to wake up!" The voice sounded desperate, and familiar. Reluctantly, Edward made the effort to open his eyes. They slowly focused on the face of a young woman with a cloud of wavy dark hair surrounding a pale face.

"Bella?" he croaked, "what the hell?"

"Edward, your father called. We have to go!"

_My father...what...go where..._ Suddenly everything can flooding back to him - the accident, the hospital, his mom lying on that sterile bed. He sat up and saw that Bella was already dressed. He flipped the covers back and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He stood and began looking for his clothes, desperately fighting the tears that threatened to overwhelm him.

_I never should have left the hospital...I didn't even get to say goodbye...what are we going to do?_

It all was too much. The stress, the lack of sleep, the emotions, the shock; Edward dropped back down onto the bed and began to shake and gasp for air. In an instant Bella was beside him, her arms wrapped around his shoulders.

"Baby, what is it? Are you ok?"

"I can't believe...I don't know...what am I going to do without her?"

Bella continued to hug him close. "Edward, what are you talking about?"

He shook his head. "I just can't believe she's gone!"

Bella's face registered shock and confusion. "Sweetheart, what are you talking about?"

"You said my dad called...and we have to go.."

Suddenly Bella's face cleared. "Oh! Edward, I am so sorry, I didn't think you would assume...your dad said Esme's awake. She's asking for you."

****r~d****

Edward didn't believe it until he saw it. His mother was, indeed, awake, propped up slightly in the hospital bed. She was still loopy and weak, but she smiled when her son came in the room, and she managed to squeeze the hand that wrapped itself around hers when Edward came to stand beside her.

"Mom? How ya doin'?"

Esme's voice was rough, but Edward could hear its normal musical timbre underneath. "Hmmm...not the best day I've ever had, but I'm better than the deer, I suppose."

Edward grinned. Leave it to his mother to have a sense of humor when she had just narrowly avoided death.

"I don't know mom, the deer's in the next room over, and he's demanding a rematch."

Esme didn't miss a beat. "Give me six months, and tell him to bring it."

Edward grabbed the chair that sat several feet from the bed and dragged it over next to her. He sat down and took her hand back in his.

"Mom, I strictly forbid you to ever do anything like this again. Do you understand me, young lady?"

Esme smiled weakly at him. "I'll do my best. I love you, Edward."

"I love you too mom."

They sat in comfortable silence for a long while - Edward stroked her hand with his fingers until he saw that Esme's eyelids were closed. Her chest rose and fell slowly, and the heart monitor indicated that her pulse was slow but steady. He gently removed his hand from hers and moved to the door to give her some quiet time to rest. Just as he closed the door, he saw Carlisle coming towards him down the hallway. He smiled at the sight of his father, who looked a thousand times better than he had the last time. The two men embraced, then sat down on a pair of chairs just outside her room.

"She looks better." Edward's words were met with a smile from Carlisle.

"She is. She's much better than anyone expected at this point. Your mother is a remarkable woman."

Edward nodded and they sat in silence for a few moments until Carlisle spoke again.

"All night long I've been thinking about the first few years we were together. Everyone said we were crazy to get married right before I started my residency, since residents have to work such horrible hours. They said it would never work. I won't pretend it wasn't challenging, but I don't regret it, not even one minute. I kept thinking that, even if this was the end, that at least I could be thankful for our life together, and I was so happy that we had spent every possible minute of it together, even when it was hard." Carlisle turned at looked at his son. "Besides, if we had waited until after I was finished, we wouldn't have you. You aren't half bad to have around either." Carlisle leaned over and bumped Edward's shoulder with his, then the two men laughed together in relief.

****r~d****

Bella glanced over at Edward, scrutinizing his expression in the fading light. Carlisle had insisted they leave Forks early enough to arrive home before nightfall, citing the emotional upheaval of the weekend and their lack of sleep as reasons not to drive after dark. Edward had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the trip, but when he didn't need his hand to drive, he had gripped hers tightly, almost desperately.

Since Esme was in the ICU, only family were allowed to see her, but Carlisle had snuck Bella in for a few minutes anyway. It had shaken Bella to see her that way. Esme had always been strong. The whole weekend had been difficult. Watching the pain and fear in Edward and Carlisle had been heartbreaking, and Bella's thoughts were all over the place; one minute she was wishing she shared that kind of bond with someone, the next she was thankful she didn't, since it meant being spared that kind of pain.

The car pulled into a parking space, and they walked to their apartment quietly. Edward maintained his hold on her hand until they were in the living room. Bella had started carrying her bag back towards her bedroom when Edward stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Bella, wait. I want...I need to talk to you."

She turned, and the look on his face nearly frightened her.

"Don't unpack. Just...I want...marry me Bella. Marry me tonight. We'll get a flight to Las Vegas, and by tomorrow we'll be Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. We'll spend our wedding night in the most beautiful suite we can find, and then we'll spend the year in London for a honeymoon."

Bella stared at Edward, taken completely off guard by his desperate words. "Edward, you're tired, and emotional..."

Edward took both of her hands in his and grasped them tightly. "I know what I'm asking, Bella. I want to marry you. I don't want to waste any more time."

"I don't think it's such a good idea..."

"What's the issue? I know you said you didn't want to elope, but why not? It's not as if you're close to your parents, and mine will understand. Hell, they'll be thrilled no matter what we do. Sure, Alice will be disappointed to miss out on planning a wedding, but we can plan a big welcome home party, or a reception or something. We can even have a full-blown wedding when we come back if that's what you want. Please Bella, just marry me."

"Edward, it's...I don't know if..." Bella's voice shook as she searched for words.

"I don't understand Bella. You've said yes, you are wearing my grandmother's ring, we've been living together for over a year, you spend every night in my bed...except for the sex part, we are practically married already. Is that it? Are you afraid of the whole sex thing? I don't have much experience, but if that's a problem I am sure we can work it out. We can go slow if you want. If birth control is the issue, I'll wear condoms. Please Bella, I just want to make you my wife." Edward punctuated his statement by pulling her close to him and kissing her fiercely.

Bella was breathless, and her eyes were wide as she pulled back and gazed at Edward. She smiled a little, then bit her lip.

"Baby...are you sure...it's so fast, and your parents..." Her heart felt as if it might jump out of her body and do a salsa routine in the middle of the living room.

Edward's face lit up as he saw her beginning to give in. "Yes, baby, I am serious. Please. Let's go now!"

Bella looked into Edward's beautiful face for a moment, studying his luminous expression. Then she dropped her gaze to the floor and took a deep breath.

"Edward, I...we can't. London...I have to live on campus and...and there's nowhere for married couples to live. It won't work."

The moment she heard the lie leave her lips, Bella felt her chest constrict, and she frantically wished she could grab the words out of the air or draw them back into her lungs. She didn't even know why she's said it. But she found herself continuing to talk.

"I finally heard back from the Stratford people...I had asked them about co-ed dorms, or if I could get an apartment in the city, but they said that all students are required to live on the university campus because the program is so intensive, and there's no married housing either."

There it was again - the lie. Bella felt another stone drop onto her chest, and felt as if it was surely from the castle of her dreams that was suddenly crumbling around her.

"I'm so sorry Edward...I wish...I mean, I can't...Oh god, I wish I knew what to say..." For the first time since he had asked the question, Bella looked up into Edward's face. His expression was another blow to the chest. His lips were pressed tightly together, his fists were clenched, and his eyes...Bella had never seen Edward's eyes look like that, like two holes burned through a photograph.

"Bella, why are you lying to me?"

Bella's breath caught. _How did he know? _

"What?"

"You are lying to me. I asked you why."

"Edward, I...I don't understand."

Edward's fists clenched tighter at his sides. 'I saw the email, Bella. You left your laptop open on the table and I saw it - the one that said everything you just explained, with one notable difference - there is, in fact, married housing. So, I want to know, why did you lie?

"I don't know what to...why were you reading my email, anyway Edward?" Bella grasped frantically at the only defense she could think of in that moment.

"I wasn't snooping Bella. You left the laptop on the table with the email open. I happened to see it."

"Edward, I can't believe-" Bella's words were cut off as Edward interrupted. She had never heard him shout before, and it startled her nearly to tears.

Bella, THAT IS NOT THE POINT! God! If it offends you so much, I'm sorry I read your damn email! But that doesn't change anything! Were you never going to tell me? Were you just going to lie and say we couldn't stay together, let me leave my job and rent an apartment in London when you knew we could be living together if you could just get over yourself and marry me? Is the thought of being with me that repellent to you? If that was the case, why did you even say yes?"

Tears were running down Bella's face now. She tried to speak, but Edward did not give her a chance. He wasn't yelling anymore, instead he spoke with a cold fury that twisted her stomach into knots.

"Bella, I was offered an incredible opportunity at work today. There's a band that wants me to record an album with them, and maybe tour with them afterwards. I met the band, and they are awesome. It's everything I've ever wanted, Bella. It sounds like a dream come true. But I had already decided not to go. I wasn't even going to mention it to you, I was just going to turn it down on Monday. As soon as I came home and saw your face and felt your arms around me I knew that there was no way I could be apart from you for a year, even for that. You know why? Because as much as I have dreamed about being a successful musician, being with you is more important. Loving you is an even bigger, better dream, and I would be willing to give up anything to get it. I guess you don't feel the same way."

"Edward, I didn't think...I don't know...and seeing your parents this weekend...I was so scared..." Bella's words stumbled out, caught between the sobs that she was utterly unable to control.

"No Bella, I don't want to hear any more excuses. You lied about your application, and you lied about where we could live, and god only knows what else you've lied to me about. Save it. I don't want to talk anymore. I don't even want to know you exist right now."

Edward turned and left the room. Bella heard his bedroom door close. She was left standing in the center of the living room alone. Her sobs increased until she was crying so hard she could barely breathe and the pain in her chest was nearly unbearable. She dropped to the floor and leaned on the couch, her body curled into a ball, her arms clutched around her chest and stomach in an attempt to lessen the pain she was sure was tearing her body into pieces. It did not make any difference though - the pain continued to rip through her in waves of agony.

_I've ruined it. I've ruined it all._

After she lay there for what felt like days, she retreated to her bedroom and curled up on her bed in the darkness, her thoughts whirling. All she could think about was how she had wrecked everything.

_My parents were right. I really am worthless. Everything I touch turns to trash._

Edward's words echoed through her mind on an endless loop. _I don't want to talk anymore. I don't want to hear any more excuses. I guess you don't feel the same way. Is the thought of marrying me that repellent to you? I don't want to hear any more excuses. I don't want to talk anymore. I don't even want to know you exist right now. I don't want to talk anymore. I don't want to know you exist. _Soon they were joined by other voices, harsh and loud. With each repetition, Bella's stomach clenched tighter, and the pain in her chest increased, until she was sobbing and shaking in despair.

Slowly she began to calm down. She took deep breaths and attempted to silence the voices screaming in her head. They were gradually replaced with others. She could hear Jasper, in his soft drawl, telling her he loved her and that she made up for all the craziness they had to put up with from their parents. He heard Alice, on the day of her wedding to Jasper, telling her how thankful she was to have her in her life, and how excited she was that Bella was going to be her sister. _Real sisters_, she'd said as they stood together in the bride's dressing room. _It's the second best thing about marrying Jasper_, she'd said, clasping Bella's hands. _Jasper's the best, of course_. She heard Esme's soft voice telling her how precious she was, and Carlisle introducing her to his friends with pride. _This is my son's girlfriend, Bella. Isn't she lovely?_ Bella had blushed and stared at the floor, embarrassed by her surrogate father's ebullient praise, until Edward has whispered in her ear, _smile, he loves you. We all love you. _Out of everyone, it was Edward's voice which came through her mind more clearly than any other.

_You're so beautiful._

_I've never felt this way before._

_Promise me you'll be with me forever._

_No matter what, you can always come back here._

_I'm proud of you._

_You'll always be safe with me._

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you._

Bella stopped crying. _ It was a a fight. It was just a fight._ They had argued before, but never like this. Always in the past they had resolved whatever conflict lay between them, at least enough to be at peace with one another. Surely they could work this out. At the very least, there was no way Edward would let her stay in here alone, knowing that she was this upset. He would be here soon, she just had to be patient.

_Surely he'll come._

_Any minute now._

Suddenly Bella sat up. She couldn't stand it anymore. If she wanted this to work, she could not keep waiting for Edward. It wasn't his responsibility to fix everything everytime something went wrong. She got out of bed and headed straight for the one place she knew she would find peace, and acceptance, and love - Edward's bedroom, and the gentle man who lived in it. They would work the rest out - London, school, marriage - she knew everything would be alright if only she could find her way back into his arms.

She reached his closed door, and took a deep breath. _He'll forgive me, he has to forgive me. _She reached for the doorknob and turned.

Edward's door was locked.

A/N - Please don't hate me. I'm not any happier about what happened in this chapter than you are.

Thank you for all your kind reviews, they make my day.

To my knowledge, there is no real bad called Poor Ornery People. A band I used to sing with did actually consider that as a name for a bit though. If there is an actual band out there by that name, please know that no copyright infringement was intended.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N Twilight and all related recognizable characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer, not me. I also don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, although I have all the DVDs, and I didn't write A Winter's Tale.

Bella fumbled in her pocket for her key, and after a few minutes and a few more mumbled curses finally managed to push her way into her room. She dropped her dripping bag on the floor, and caught a glimpse of herself in the small mirror as she flicked on the light.

_Like a wet dog_, she thought miserably. She shivered and began stripping off her wet clothes, dropping each item to the floor as she crossed to her dresser to extract a pair of sweats and a hoodie.

_Damn England and its damn rain._ After growing up in the Pacific Northwest, she thought she could handle rain, but nothing could have prepared her for the almost constant downpour that had thus far defined her experience in London. Even the students who were natives had commented on how unusually wet the autumn had been. She crossed to the radiator against the wall and stood as close as she could to its meager heat as she pulled on the dry clothes. Once her teeth had stopped chattering and she could relax a bit, she went to evaluate the damage to her bag.

She extracted the contents piece by piece. It wasn't too bad; the wet pages would dry, although she definitely wouldn't be selling any of her books at the end of the program. The pages of her class notebook looked okay, and her journal was almost dry. The only thing that really appeared to have been damaged was the letter she had tucked unread into the front pocket of the bag on the way to class that morning in the deceptive and short-lived sunshine that had prompted her to leave her umbrella in her room.

She examined the envelope, recognizing with a jolt the familiar script spelling out her name and address on the front. Even smeared with rain, his handwriting was lovely.

She stared at the envelope for a few minutes, considering it. It had been a long time since she had gotten a letter, or any correspondence at all. According to Alice, Edward had been working like crazy trying to get all the necessary recording done prior to touring, and doing extra work to save some money for the time he would be on tour. The last email she had gotten had just read "Working hard, miss you, E." That had been weeks ago, and she had not bothered to respond...at least not directly.

There was a long letter stashed in her desk that she had written the night she received that email. It had been the end of a long series of cold, frustrating, lonely days, when she wanted nothing more than to get on a plane and go home, and the terse email had sent her slightly over the edge. Several of her fellow students had attempted to lift her spirits with a few pints, but the alcohol had only served to make her more maudlin, and by the time she had gotten home she had been just tipsy enough to be utterly lacking in restraint, and had poured her feelings out onto paper. She had not sent the missive, and planned to destroy it at some point, although she had not yet managed to do so.

Bella opened the drawer in question and pulled out the letter. That night she had gone to far as to address an envelope and add postage, but fortunately the next morning she had thought better of it and instead of mailing it had shoved it into a drawer. She pulled the pages from the envelope and perused the words on the page. With every phrase she was more satisfied in her decision not to send it, particularly in light of Edward's recent reticence.

_Dear Edward,_

_I miss you. It's cold here, and rainy, but I know I would not notice any of that nearly as much if you were here. I think back on the things I did and said to you and I can't begin to imagine why I threw away the best thing in my life. You have been my best friend as long as I can remember, and when given the opportunity to keep you forever, I not only let you go, I pushed you away, and now I feel like you are gone forever, and I can't stop being sorry._

_It's not what I expected at all, being here alone. Maybe I thought I wanted independence, or I thought I wanted to experience life on my own, or I thought that being with you would somehow hold me back, but really, all it means is that I am here and you are there and that I ache for you all the time. I miss you. Its like I'm missing a limb, or worse, a torso. See, without you I have lost all creativity and I have to resort to cheesy quotes to express myself._

_I told you a lot of lies, Edward, but one worse than all the others, I never wanted to see other people. There's never been anyone for me but you. I love you so much, and I want you to be happy. You deserve someone who can love you better than I can, and so I had to let you go. I never imagined that letting you go would feel so much like killing myself. _

_I wish I could go back and change things, Edward. If I could I would go back and never lie to you, never say or do anything to hurt you. I would have married you as soon as you asked. I can't decide which was the worst mistake - lying to you, or saying no when you wanted to get married, or not throwing myself at you years ago. _

_I like Shakespeare Edward, and I like the people here, but I love you, and none of it means anything without you. Parting is not sweet sorrow, it is just sorrow, full stop, and I wish I had never parted us._

_I know you have probably moved on and you don't love me anymore, I can't imagine why you would, after all that I did. You have probably found someone much better than me who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. I hope you have, because I can't bear the thought of you being in pain because of what I did._

_I love you, and I always will._

_Bella_

She closed her eyes against the tears that welled up in them. As overwrought as the letter might be, it was the raw truth.

_She lay in the floor outside his door for hours, waiting to see if he would emerge. He never did. Sometime in the wee hours she managed to make her way into her room and she climbed into bed, curling herself around a pillow and trying to sleep. It proved impossible, however, as her thoughts would not stop whirling, replaying their fight and tormenting her. _

_By the time the pink light entering her window indicated the sun was rising, she had made a decision._

_He needed to be with someone who could love him the way he deserved to be loved, and she clearly was not that girl._

_She lay there in the dawning light, trying to work up the resolve to do what must be done. He would never do it, he was too kind. He would be better off with a clean break, a new start. She had done enough to hurt him, she would be strong enough to grant him this last kindness. She would let him go. _

_She thought for a moment that she wished she could go back to that morning just a few months ago and keep things from ever changing, but sobs welled up in her throat at the thought. She could not fathom the idea of not having experienced the last six months falling in love with her wonderful Edward._

Not mine anymore_, she thought, and sat up. She pulled off the ring and stood to contemplate her reflection, considering how to best cover the evidence of the past night's storm on her face._

_I've already cried enough, _she thought, wiping the tears before they had a chance to fall and violently forcing them back. She looked again at his handwriting on the envelope before her, contemplating if she really wanted to read what was inside.

She was beginning to gingerly open the flap when a bang on her door made her jerk her head up. The door popped open the reveal a wide grin below a mop of overlong dark blond hair.

"Oy! Bella, there you are! Did you forget, we have a rehearsal five minutes ago?" Alec raised his eyebrows at her confused expression, and smiled even bigger at the dawning realization on her face.

"Shit! Sorry, I'm coming!" She scrabbled through the pile of books on the floor and located her copy of The Winter's Tale, then followed him out of the room.

****r~d****

Edward waved at the waitress as she passed near his table, but she ignored him. Again. He looked forlornly at the empty glass in front of him and was contemplating going up to the bar when another chair at the table scraped across the floor and Garrett, the vocalist and de facto leader of Poor Ornery People sat down across from him.

"Watcha doing sitting here all alone, Eddie boy?"

Edward scowled down at his empty glass. He hated being called Eddie, and Garrett knew it. He lifted his eyes to his bandmate and narrowed his eyes at the grin on Garrett's face. "Knitting a sweater," he replied, the sarcasm thick in his voice.

"Oooh, somebody's a cranky little monkey!' Garrett laughed at his joke, then looked at Edward curiously. "Did you just quote Center Stage to me?" He raised his eyebrows and began chuckling.

Edward couldn't help laughing at the realization that he had, in fact, quoted a ballet movie to his bandmate. "I guess I did. I'm amazed you recognized it though. Harboring a secret love for dance movies?"

"Hey man, you're the one who quoted it. Kate has a weird thing about that movie. I've been forced to watch it so many times that I actually kind of like it."

"Yeah, Bella was the same way." At the mention of her name, Edward's smile faded and he resumed contemplating his empty glass.

"You've gotta shake this off, Edward. She's gone. Move on."

_The look on Bella's face when she entered the kitchen the morning after they returned from Forks ran through Edward like a knife. The makeup under her eyes did not quite conceal the dark circles, and she looked as if she could barely manage to walk upright. She met his eyes and attempted a smile, but it fell as soon as it appeared, and she turned away. She poured coffee into a mug and was nearly out of the room when Edward spoke. _

"_There's toast...I mean, I made toast, if you want some...you should eat something, coffee on an empty stomach always makes your stomach hurt."_

_Bella stood in the doorway, her back to him, her shoulders slumped. She did not reply._

"_Please? Come eat with me?"_

_She took a deep breath, and Edward was certain she would continue out into the apartment, but instead she turned and came back to the table and sat down across from him. He picked a piece of toast up off his plate and set it on the empty one in front of her._

"_That's yours," she protested, her voice flat._

_Before she could get up, Edward stood. "It's alright, I made more." As if on cue, two pieces of bread popped up from the toaster on the counter. Edward pulled them out and put them on the table, one on his plate, and one on a Bella's, then he sat down again and stealthily watched her as she spread jam over her toast. She picked it up to take a bite, but seemed to lose her motivation when it was halfway to her mouth. She set it back onto her plate with a sigh._

"_Bella, about last night..." Edward trailed off as Bella looked up at him._

"_I don't want to talk about it," she said, dropping her eyes back to the uneaten food on her plate._

"_I think we have to. You don't have to talk, but do you think you can listen?" Bella hesitated, then nodded in acquiescence._

"_Bella, I'm sorry. I overreacted. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."_

_Bella continued to toy with her toast. Edward continued._

"_I was upset...I am still upset, and I don't understand why you lied to me about London, but I should have handled things differently. It's not an excuse, but I was really stressed about my mom, and..." Edward fell silent. "Maybe I do need you to say something."_

"_What do you want me to say, Edward? I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry I lied to you, I'm sorry I couldn't do what you wanted me to do, I'm sorry I couldn't be who you wanted me to be..." Bella closed her mouth tightly. Edward sat quietly, unsure what to say in response to her outburst._

_Bella reached into her pocket. "I should give this back." She held out her hand, the glittering ring resting in her palm. Edward looked at her, pain evident on his face._

"_I'm not saying I don't want to marry you...I do...but a year is a long time, and...well, we don't know what's going to happen. I would be sick if anything happened to it while I was gone. And maybe..."_

"_Maybe what, Bella?"_

"_Maybe we should just see...if there is someone else out there."_

"_Is that what you want?" _

_Bella hesitated for a moment, and Edward felt a sudden surge of hope. It was gone in the next moment, as she took a deep breath and replied. "Yes. You need to move on."_

_Edward's body rebelled at her words, and he thought for a moment he was going to lose his toast. He couldn't bring himself to reply to her statement, so instead he tried to close her hand and push it back towards her. "Bella, you don't have to do that. The ring's yours. I want you to keep it."_

"_Please, just take it back."_

_Edward reached his hand towards her, and she tipped her palm to drop the ring into it. He grabbed her hand, enclosing it tightly in his. _

"_I'm angry, Bella, and everything isn't ok, but I love you. I want to marry you."_

_Bella pulled her hand away from his. "I know." She turned and left the room._

"I know she's gone. I was there, for fuck's sake."

"Calm down, dude." Garrett gestured to the waitress, and asked her to bring them both a beer. "I know you were there. But you've got to stop sulking like a toddler. You've got a good thing happening here, and you are going to wreck it if you don't get a grip."

Edward looked at his friend with raised eyebrows. "What, you guys are going to kick me out if I can't be Mr. Sunshine all the time?"

"No way man, you're the best pianist we've ever had. I'm talking about other stuff. Life! There are plenty of other girls out there, and you keep pouting and sulking over the one that walked away. It's been months. Move on. Have some fun. Have you gone out with anyone else yet? Hell, have you even talked to another girl?"

"Who am I supposed to ask? I've spent the last three months working my ass off the same as you. The only reason you still have Kate is because she manages the band."

"And she's married to me, don't forget that part." Garrett laughed and Edward tried not to react to the word married. He sat in silence for a few minutes, concentrating on his empty glass. He looked up at Garrett with a serious expression.

"How did you know?"

"How did I know what?"

"With Kate? How did you know she was worth it? All the drama and bullshit?"

Garrett chuckled. "Kate's pretty drama-free, to tell the truth. When I met her, I just knew." He accepted the beers the waitress delivered to the table, then continued. "I knew that she was the one. She, on the other hand..." Garrett laughed. "She thought I was an ass. She was probably right. At first, I pushed way to hard, tried to move too fast. There's a line from that movie, When Harry Met Sally - 'once you figure out you want to send the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.' I wanted the rest of my life to start right then. The problem was, she hadn't figured it out yet, and I very nearly scared her off. The trick, I learned, was to just love her and wait until her heart caught up with mine."

Edward cocked an eyebrow at his friend. "You sure quote a lot of chick movies," he observed.

Garrett laughed again. "Hey, I hang out a lot with a really awesome chick. She can quote her fair share of guy movies too."

"Who's this awesome chick you've been hanging out with? Do I need to send someone to sleep with the fishes?" With these words, Kate appeared and sat down next to Garrett. Her mock scowl elicited another chuckle from her husband.

"Nope," he replied, swinging an arm around her, "the only fish she'll be sleeping with is me."

Edward looked at the two of them, a bemused expression on his face. "That's either the sweetest or grossest thing I have heard today. Possibly both."

Now it was Kate's turn to laugh. "What are you guys talking about? Besides me, obviously." She swept her hair over her shoulder dramatically, assuming a mock haughty look.

"Girls. Specifically, Edward's inability to keep one." Edward scowled at the two of them.

"Oh, poor Edward! You know..." Kate trailed off, smirking.

"What do I know?" Edward asked.

"I don't know if I should tell you. Are you still hung up on that other girl? The one you've been pouting over for the past three months?"

"I have not been pouting," Edward huffed. Then, at the expressions on both if their faces, he chuckled mirthlessly. "Ok, Maybe I've been pouting a little."

"Exactly." Kate turned to her husband. "Should I tell him?"

Garrett tapped his fingers on his chin, pretending to ponder Kate's question. "I don't know sweetpea, do you think he can handle it?"

"I don't know," she replied, looking over at Edward. "Can you handle it, Eddie?" Her lips twitched as Edward glared back at her.

"Ok, ok, we'll stop." Kate leaned over and spoke more quietly. "I happen to be privy to some information you might find interesting. If you are done pouting, that is."

Edward sighed. "Are you going to tell me, or not?"

Kate looked pointedly towards the bar. Edward followed the direction of her gaze to see a girl seated on one of the stools. Her red curls made a halo around her face, and in the light from the bar, it appeared to almost glow. Edward took in her appearance, from the lush curves barely disguised under a black sleeveless shirt to the long legs emerging from beneath her short denim skirt. She was laughing with the bartender, a loud, oddly musical laugh.

"Makenna?" Edward's voice sounded skeptical.

"Makenna. If you would pull your head out of your oh-poor-me haze for five seconds, you would know that she's totally into you."

"Really?" Edward had never really considered Makenna as anything but a bandmate. He didn't know much about her beyond the fact that she was one of the best violinists he had ever encountered, and that from everything he had seen she was as opposite of Bella as he could imagine. Bella was petite, while Makenna was tall and statuesque. Bella was retiring; Makenna was one of the most outgoing people Edward had ever met and somehow managed to be the center of attention wherever she went. She wasn't conventionally beautiful, with her bright hair and freckled skin, but he had to admit to herself that she was a very attractive woman. Hot, even.

"Really. Try talking to her, you'll see." Kate smirked at Edward as he contemplated the girl across the room, and her smirk broadened to a grin when Edward stood up and shrugged, as if to say "Why not?"

_Maybe they're right. Maybe I've mourned long enough._

****r~d****

The rehearsal was not going well. Bella's head was aching, and kept stumbling over Perdita's lines. After her fourth attempt to deliver a particularly difficult line, the director called for a break.

"Bella." Jane's eyes were narrow. "What exactly is your problem? We have to do this scene in class in a few days. You act like you've never seen the play before. Hell, you sound like you've never seen the English language before."

Jane was never particularly nice, but in this case, Bella had to admit she was right.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, get it right. Go get your shit together and come back ready to work."

Bella turned and walked into the hallway outside the lounge where her group was practicing. She sank down onto the floor and laid her head on her knees, taking several deep breaths in an attempt to quiet her mind.

_What is my problem? _

If she was honest with herself, she knew what her problem was. According to Alice's latest email, Edward was leaving to go on tour in two weeks, just after Thanksgiving. Between that news and the letter from him that had shown up that morning, she had been unsuccessful all day at blocking thoughts of him from her mind. She took another breath and tried to focus. She wasn't going to feel any better if her whole group was mad at her.

Bella, you about ready to come back?" Alec had appeared in the hallway, and at the look on her face, he turned briefly back into the room where the others were waiting. "We'll be a minute yet," Bella heard him speak into the room. " Keep y'knickers on, Jane, I reckon she'll be alright in a bit." He came to sit on the floor across from Bella, and kicked her feet with one of his.

"I should go back in there," Bella said, but she made no attempt to get up.

"Never mind Jane, she's a right bitch. She can wait a bit." Alec grinned ruefully at Bella and raised his eyebrows so that they disappeared below his long hair. "You want to talk about it?"

"I hate that I got stuck with this play," she replied, shaking her head. "Stupid romantic comedy. I should be doing _Coriolanus_ or _King Lear _or something."

"_King Lear_? He was one self-destructive bastard." The corner of Alec's mouth quirked up at her. " "Surely it can't be that bad."

Bella sighed. "It's that bad"

"Well lass, the way I see it, you have two options - either you skip out on the rest of rehearsal and Jane cuts you up to eat for breakfast tomorrow-"

"Or kills me in my sleep."

Alec laughed "Or that - or you get through the next hour and then I'll take you out and buy you a pint and we'll see about changing you back from a cranky old man to a lovely sherpherdess. And you know..." Alec's lips twitched as he gazed at her "...if you're really scared of Jane, you can always come in and sleep with me. I'd take good care of you, and that's a promise." He smiled broadly across the hallway at her.

Bella sat and pretended to ponder Alec's words. "As fun as it would be to be Jane's breakfast tomorrow, getting cut up sounds unpleasant. I choose option B." She couldn't help returning Alec's grin as he reached for her hands. "As for sleeping with you...I don't know if I'm quite brave enough for that yet." She smiled back at him as they pulled each other up from the floor. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, holding her tight for a moment. Then he opened the door for her, laying his hand gently on her back to lead her into the room.

Bella managed to focus for the rest of the rehearsal, and if it wasn't her best performance ever, at least she managed to avoid any more of Jane's wrath. Afterwards, true to his promise, Alec took her down the street to the George and Dragon, an establishment that Alec had described as the "most British of all British pubs" and a favorite of many of the students at the university. They ordered spiced beef sandwiches and chips, and talked genially about their classmates until their food was mostly consumed. Finally Alec put down his glass and looked across the table at her seriously.

"Alright love. I've given you plenty of time, I've bought you food, now out with it."

"Out with what?" Bella's tone was light, but she resolutely would not meet his eyes.

"Whatever it is that had you weeping in the hallway today and nearly made Jane take your head off."

"I was not crying in the hallway!" Bella protested.

"Calm down, love. Will you please just tell me what's wrong? A sad tale's best for winter, after all.

"I have one of sprites and goblins," she replied, completing the now-familiar line from A Winter's Tale.

He did not hesitate to reply. "Let's have that, good sir. Come on, sit down: come on, and do your best to fright me with your sprites; you're powerful at it."

She smiled at his banter, but remained silent.

"Come on, tell Uncle Alec all about it, and then let him kiss it and make it better." He wagged his eyebrows at her suggestively, making Bella snort.

"You do realize that's completely disgusting, right? I do not make it a habit of letting my uncles kiss anything, better or no."

Alec heaved a deep sigh. "Alright then, if you insist...tell disconcertingly handsome, desirable, and entirely unrelated to you Alec all about it, and_ then_ he can kiss it and make it better. How's that?"

"You seem awfully confident about that whole kissing thing, you know." Bella fought to suppress a smile at his words.

"Ah, but no one can resist my kisses, love. I don't need confidence, I just know." He gave her his best grin, and she laughed.

"Now," he said, in a much more serious tone, "tell me what happened to dim the light in your eyes."

"You won't like it," Bella replied, stalling. Alec did not reply, he just raised his eyebrows at her. "Ok, ok. I got a letter. From him."

Alec's expression remained carefully blank. "And what did he say to upset you so?"

"I don't know yet, I was about to open it when you came to get me for rehearsal." Bella looked down at the table, absently toying with her napkin.

"So you don't know what it says?"

"Nope."

"So why the dramatics?"

"It's just frustrating. I don't know what he wants...I am trying to move on, and he hasn't written so much as an email in weeks, and I get a letter? It threw me." Bella sighed. The way we left things...it wasn't good. I am surprised I hear from him at all.

"_Just one more." _

_Bella dropped a suitcase next to the front door and returned to her room. Although her words were directed at Edward, he did not look at her. She heard the local news on the TV in the living room as she re-entered in time to hear the "Today in History" segment. After reading several historical events, the blond anchor of the show turned to her co-host. "One last one Jim - it was 6 months ago today that Seattle was hit by the worst snowstorm in the history of the Northwest. On a hot day like today, it's hard to believe how much snow we got that night. I remember -"_

_Edward turned the TV off, hitting the power button so hard that the set toppled slightly. _

_Bella hesitated at the look on his face as he glared at the tv, and slowly emerged once again from her room, carrying a large bag with its strap across her body. "That's it," she said, not meeting Edward's eyes. "I'm ready."_

_Wordlessly, Edward picked up his keys and two of Bella's bags. She carried the remainder as they walked silently down the stairs to Edward's car. It wasn't until he was pulling out of the garage into the street that she spoke._

"_That was fun last night, wasn't it? It was nice of Alice to throw us a going away party."_

"_Mmm-hmm."_

"_Could you believe those terrible English accents Jacob and Emmett tried to do all night?" The cheerfulness in Bella's voice was clearly forced._

"_Yeah, they were pretty bad."_

_Bella made a few more efforts to engage Edward in conversation, but after several of his terse replies, she fell silent again. Edward reached over and turned on the radio in an attempt to fill the void._

_They walked through the airport side by side in silence. Bella had been surprised when Edward had pulled a suitcase of his own out of his car. He had explained, in the briefest of terms, that he had to got to New York for "work stufff" and that his flight left just a few hours after hers. She wasn't sure how to process this revelation - she had planned on saying goodbye to him at security and then having some time alone in the terminal. She had been counting on that time to attempt to clear her mind and process the events of the past few days before she was stuck on a plane for hours surrounded by strangers. She hoped she didn't seem annoyed; she didn't want to hurt him any more than she already had. She tried desperately not to notice how tightly he gripped the handles of the bags he carried, or the straight white line of his lips. He was clearly angry, and she had wondered why he had even bothered to volunteer to take her. Now it made more sense. She had done her best to stay out of his way over the past few weeks, making excuses to be away from the apartment, calling people she barely spoke to for coffee dates, but clearly it had not been enough._

_They sat side by side in uncomfortable orange molded plastic chairs, watching the minutes tick by on the large clock over the airline counter. Bella's desperation grew as the hands moved. She had to get away...she could not bear to leave. They both tried a few times to talk - he asked about her classes, she about the guys in the band and the cities they would be visiting on tour, but the conversations were stillborn. Increasingly, four words whirled through Bella's mind, again and again. Four impossible words._

_Ask me to stay. Ask me to stay. Please, please, ask me to stay._

_He didn't ask. Her flight was finally called, and she gathered her things to board. She swallowed hard. There was no indication of tears on Edward's face - no indication of any emotion at all - and she'd be damned if she was going to cry when he didn't. _

_She gathered her carryon and messenger bag and chanced a look at him. His face was tight. "Well..bye."_

"_Bye." He did not look at her._

_She had gone a few steps when she felt a hand grip her arm, so tightly that she cried out, but the sound disappeared under the force of his mouth on hers. They had kissed a thousand times, and never had she felt this level of desperation from him. After a few minutes he pulled away and bent to whisper in her ear._

"_G'bye Bella. I hope you find everything you are looking for."_

_Then he was gone, and she turned, dazed, and headed for the plane._

_She didn't cry. She had already cried enough._

"Bella? Love?" She was pulled out of her reverie by Alec's words and the feel of his hand caressing hers where it lay on the table. She smiled sadly at his concerned face. "Where did you go?"

She shook her head, trying to clear the memory that had overcome her. "Nowhere. It doesn't matter. Can we get out of here? Let's go watch a movie in the lounge or something."

"Sure love." Alec lay several bills on the table, and took her hand to pull her up from her seat. He wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her out into the street.

Several hours later, Bella returned to her room and saw the incriminating envelope she had begun to open earlier laying where she had left it. Quietly, so that she did not disturb Jane where she slept across the room, she tore open the envelope and reached inside. She found, not a letter as she expected, but only a newspaper clipping featuring a story about Poor Ornery People and their upcoming tour.

Bella dropped onto her bed, her hands shaking. She didn't know whether she was disappointed or relieved - the only thing she knew for sure was that she was very thankful she had never sent the letter she wrote all those weeks ago.

She never the saw the note lying on her desk.

_B-_

_Sorry I was such a hag earlier. Took your letter to drop in the post with mine. Feel better._

_-Jane_

****r~d****

I am so sorry for the long wait! The past several months have been beyond insane and unfortunately other things had to take priority. The good news is that the next chapter is almost finished, and the rest of the story is mapped out, so barring any other craziness, it should never happen again.

Thank you all so much for all of the follows and favorites and reviews – every email makes my day!

Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

Ok, here we go...a whole lot of stuff is about to go down, so fasten your seatbelts, keep your arms and legs inside the car, and hold on tight!

Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. Shakespeare's sonnets belong to Shakespeare, although I think they might be public domain by now. I don't know who owns Color Me Badd, but it isn't me. I own a faux Blackberry, two faux Prada bags, and this little plotline. No copyright infringement is intended.

****r~d****

Edward was on the phone with Makenna making plans for Saturday when he pulled the letter out of his mailbox. He hadn't checked his mail in a few days, as he had been busy with last-minute tour preparations and had gone to visit his parents for Thanksgiving, so he didn't notice it at first among all of the other accumulated mail. It was battered, with several forwarding stickers attached and the address smudged. He saw the return address, and his pulse picked up. He hadn't heard from her in weeks. He hadn't contacted her either.

He managed to get off the phone and in his apartment before tearing into the envelope. The paper seemed unusually fragile in his hands. He unfolded the letter and began to read. After three lines, he dropped down onto the sofa. After two paragraphs, he was back up and headed towards his bedroom. Before he finished, he had pulled his suitcases out of the closet, and after reading the "Love, Bella" at the end, he dropped the page onto his bed and pulled his computer into his lap, transferring money from a little-used account and searching for the fastest flight he could find.

He made it to the airport in record time, and if anyone had asked him what was in his suitcase, he could not have answered. He hoped he had all of the essentials, but was not particularly concerned about it.

Just before they closed the doors, it occurred to him that he should probably call someone to tell him where he was going, but just then the flight attendant asked him to turn off his phone, and he complied.

Thirteen hours later, he was standing in Heathrow, wondering if perhaps he should have thought this through a little better. Eight million people in the city, and he had no real idea how to find the one he wanted. Fortunately he had placed her letter into his pocket, and with the return address and the assistance of a helpful cabbie found himself standing in the rain in front of a nondescript gray stone building, his mind shifting frantically between desperate hope and dread, wondering if he had made a terrible mistake or the best decision of his life.

He pushed through the glass door to find a mostly empty lobby, with a bored-looking woman behind a desk.

"Excuse me miss...um...can you direct me to room 17B?"

She gazed at him for a moment, and then vaguely pointed to the left. "Up the stairs," she directed.

Despite his exhaustion, he found himself taking the stairs two at a time, almost running as he approached the top. He located the door in question and took a deep breath before raising his hand to knock.

After several minutes with no response he was about to walk away when the door opened to reveal not the brown eyes and hair he had expected, but instead a blonde girl with an annoyed expression.

"May I help you?"

Edward hesitated a moment, then plunged forward. "I'm looking for Bella. Is she here?"

The girl looked up and down his body for a moment before she spoke. "She's not here; she's down the hall a bit, in the lounge." She smirked. "You should go say hello."

"I'll do that, thanks." Edward looked back over his shoulder at the girl who was closing the door, still smirking.

He continued down the hallway, following the sound of voices, until he came to a dimly lit room with several couches and chairs. He scanned the room until he saw the reason he had crossed an ocean.

She was curled up on one of the sofas, apparently enthralled in whatever was on the television, held tightly in the arms of another man.

He turned abruptly and strode back towards the stairs, cursing his own stupidity.

_Terrible mistake it is then._

He heard footsteps behind him, and a voice calling out.

"Edward? Edward! Edward, is that you? Stop! Please, please stop!"

He turned to see Bella running down the hallway towards him. She stopped just short of where he stood, her eyes wide with disbelief.

"Is that...what are you...how are you here?"

After being apart from her for three months, Edward was aching to touch her, to pull her to him and feel her in his arms, but the vivid recollection of her wrapped in another man's arms, her head on his shoulder, stopped him.

"I'm...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come."

He turned again to leave, but felt her warm hand on his wrist, pulling him back. He looked down at her again, and saw wide eyes full of confusion and pain and...hope?

"You just got here...and you didn't say anything...and now you're going to leave? What the hell, Edward?"

He noticed that a group of people was gathered in the hallway a few feet behind her outside the lounge, their faces curious and expectant. He frowned and glared at them, but only a few had the grace to look abashed and duck back into the room.

"Is there somewhere more private we can go to talk?" he asked, nodding his head towards the growing knot of people which included, he noticed, the blond man she'd been with earlier, who appeared to be smirking at Edward. She glanced over her shoulder and grimaced. "Vultures," she muttered, then took his hand in his and pulled him towards her door. She was reaching for the doorknob when it suddenly opened to reveal the blonde that Edward had spoken with earlier, a bag over her shoulder. She perused the two of them.

"Edward, I presume?" she asked, offering him her hand. He nodded, slightly dazed.

"I thought as much," she said, in her very precise Queen's English. "I'm Jane, it's lovely to meet you. I've heard so much about you." She smiled, catlike, and them addressed her attention to Bella. "I'll be down with Bree and Irina if I'm needed..."she trailed off as her eyes darted to their clasped hands "... which I suspect will not be the case. Have a lovely weekend."

She passed by them and headed down the hallway towards the stairs, ignoring the poorly concealed attempts by the group down the hall to get her attention. Edward was unable to watch her progress though, because Bella pushed him into the room, then stuck her head back into the hallway.

"Show's over, you nosy bastards." she said to the group of students in a terrible imitation of a British accent. "Go back to your knitting." She closed the door on the sound of their catcalls and cheers.

"They seem...nice," Edward observed.

Bella grinned. "They are; they're pretty amazing, actually. Drama whores though, all of them." Her grin faltered as silence fell over the room.

Edward scrubbed his hands over his face. He was exhausted. Now that he was actually here, it didn't feel real. He wondered momentarily if he was really at home asleep, and this was all some bizarre dream. Bella's voice drew him out of his thoughts.

"Edward? Don't think I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? What's going on? Why did you say it was a mistake? Is everything okay?"

"Can we sit down?" he asked wearily. "I've been traveling for...I can't even tell you how long at this point."

"Oh! Of course! I'm so sorry! Do you want anything? I don't have much here, but I have some water, I think..." she rummaged in a cabinet for a moment before producing a bottle of water and gesturing for him to sit on the bed. Looking around the room, Edward saw that it was the only real option except for a hard wooden desk chair or the floor, so he sank down on its edge.

"Sorry it's not cold...they don't really do the refrigerated beverage thing here..."

"It's ok."

Bella pulled the desk chair over to sit in front of him and waited, watching as he drained half the bottle. Finally he looked at her. Her face was a mixture of expectancy and trepidation. He took a deep breath, attempting to collect his thoughts before he answered her question.

""I came because I thought you wanted me to. I thought you needed me. But clearly I was wrong."

"Why would you think that, Edward?"

Hs face hardened for a moment, and he reached into his jacket pocket and extracted her letter. He held it out to her, and she gasped.

"How did you..." she murmured, and then fell silent again.

"I thought you wanted me...because of this," Edward finished.

"Alright...so, why did you think you were wrong?'

Edward looked up at her face, but her expression was inscrutable. She seemed sincerely mystified by the turn of events and his irritation. He sighed.

"I know I was wrong, Bella. I saw it with my own two eyes, not ten minutes ago, when I walked into the doorway of your lounge.

A crease appeared in Bella's forehead as she considered Edward's words. Then, inexplicably, she began to laugh. She laughed until she was clutching her sides, Tears running down her cheeks. As she laughed, Edward became more and more embarrassed, and his embarrassment quickly translated into anger.

"Well, I'll just leave you to your joke." He moved as if to stand, but again she stopped him with a hand on his wrist.

"I'm sorry..."I'm sorry. I'm stopping."

She took a deep breath and wiped her face. "I'm sorry," she repeated. "I'll try to explain." She looked into his face. "Let me make sure I understand what happened. You came here because you somehow got that letter," she gestured to the envelope, "then when you got here you found your way to the lounge and saw me-"

"Snuggled up with some guy," he interrupted, clenching his fists.

"Right. And you're mad because you thought I wanted you to come, and then you get here and see me with him. Big, blond, hot guy, right?"

Edward narrowed his eyes. "Your point, Bella?"

Another giggle escaped her before she could reply. "That's Alec. My friend Alec. My very affectionate, often inappropriate, one hundred percent gay friend Alec."

Edward looked a little stunned as he took in her words. When he spoke, he sounded incredulous.

"He's gay?"

"Yup. Absolutely. On a gay scale of one to ten, he's a fourteen and a half."

"So you aren't dating him."

Bella giggled again. "No way. In his words, I am 'a lovely girl, but lacking in certain essentials'" she said, imitating his accent. "And then he grabbed my ass." She grinned. "In fact, right now he's probably plotting ways to entice you away from me. He's the one who saw you, you know. He said something about a 'bronze haired Greek god scowling in the doorway' and I had to check it out."

Edward began to chuckle, and his chuckles soon turn to guffaws, and soon he was lying on his side on the bed, laughing harder than he had in months. When he had finally calmed down, he looked up at Bella.

"Has it ever occurred to you that misunderstanding seems to be the hallmark of our relationship?"

"I noticed that," she said, reaching out to brush hair out of his face. Edward sat up and picked the letter up from where it lay on the bed. He cleared his throat. "So did you mean what you said?"

****r~d****

Bella was beginning to wonder if she was high. She didn't remember taking anything, but she supposed it was possible that someone had slipped her something. Her day had been completely normal, right up until the moment Alec's comment had registered in her mind. " Bronze haired Greek god..." She had hesitated for a moment, thinking it was impossible, and then sprinted out into the hall after the mystery person. Even if it wasn't him, she knew she would regret it if she didn't at least check it out.

And now here he was, looking exhausted and disheveled but warm and real and here...right on her bed, five thousand miles from where she had seen him last. Not only was he here, he was holding her letter, the one she had never intended him to see, the one in which she revealed exactly how pathetic she was. Instead if being repulsed, he had come all the way to London for her.

He held out the letter and repeated his question. "Bella, did you mean what you said in this letter? Is this true?"

He heart lurched and her mind whirled. She'd had a lot of time to think over the past three months, time to consider and contemplate and analyze exactly what had gone wrong. She had messed everything up. She had made the wrong decisions over and over again. She had questioned when she should have trusted; she had lied when she should have been truthful. She had destroyed her own happiness, and his in the process.

_You wanted a second chance. Now that you have it, what are you going to do with it?_

She took a deep breath and looked over at the face she loved and thought she might never see again, and made her choice.

"Yes."

He reached out for her, and pulled her to the bed with him. The moment their lips met, Bella felt like the world was suddenly whole again.

She awoke to the sound of rain tapping against the window. This was not unusual; what was unusual was the body that currently had her pinned to the bed and the amount of warm skin pressed to hers. She shifted in the small space, trying to reposition her numb arm without waking the man holding it in place. She was unsuccessful, and watched as his eyelids fluttered and opened dazedly. He lifted his head from where it had nestled into her neck, and at the sight of her face, a sleepy smile spread across his.

"Hi." His voice was raspy with sleep, but warm with love.

"Hi." She replied, blushing as she felt his hand slide up from her hip across her waist. His fingers gently traced the shape of her ribs, and the color traveled down her face to her chest. He brushed his lips over her collarbone, and they drifted gradually lower.

"I've often wondered how far down that blush went." He lifted his head and flashed her a flirtatious grin.

"I guess now you know," she replied. Bella wanted to flirt back, but she was overcome with shyness and closed her eyes as she blushed darker.

He seemed to understand her feelings, because he kissed her softly, then wrapped is arms around her and squeezed her gently. They both lay quietly for a few moments as the pale early morning light filtered through the room.

After a few moments Bella shifted, moving towards the edge of the bed.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked.

"Human moment," she answered, smiling at him. "I'll be right back."

She started to get up, then stopped, looking around the room, her blush reappearing. Finally she grabbed the throw blanket that lay on the foot of the bed and wrapped it around herself as she rose. Edward chuckled and watched her as she retreated into the small bathroom attached to the room.

Bella took a moment to attend to her most pressing need, then stood in front of the mirror and looked at her reflection.

_I don't look any different. I sort of thought I might, _she thought, smiling to herself.

_Even though it was evident that Edward was thrilled to be back with Bella, he had fallen asleep almost as soon as he got still. He'd pulled Bella down to the bed with him, and after thoroughly kissing one another they had lain there together, arms twined around one another, until his breaths slowed and his eyes fell closed. Bella hadn't been particularly tired, but she found herself relaxing into his embrace and soon she had drifted off as well._

_A couple of hours later her empty stomach woke her. She lay awake in his arms for a few minutes, until she heard his stomach grumbling as well. The sound made her giggle. She stroked his cheek gently. _

"_Wake up, sweetheart. We need to get you some food."_

_His eyes opened slowly, and he appeared confused for a moment. "Bella?" He asked, his voice rough._

"_Yes?"_

"_Are you really there? Am I dreaming?"_

_Bella laughed gently. "No baby, you aren't dreaming. I'm real."_

"_You're real." He smiled sleepily at her and pulled her closer. They lay together, marveling in one another's presence, until Edward's stomach growled again, causing them both to laugh. Bella stood up and pulled him off the bed. Fingers intertwined, they wandered out into the chill London evening in search of sustenance. The rain had stopped, and the clouds above glowed from the light of the hidden full moon._

_They found their way into a pub filled with a noisy, cheerful crowd. The tables were full, but they found two adjoining seats at the bar, and ordered food. While they waited, they chatted with the patrons around them, laughing along with the crowd at the stories and songs. Bella noticed that, no matter what else was going on, Edward never lost physical contact with her, even if it was just a leg pressed against hers under the bar. One man a few seats down was particularly interesting. He looked to be in his sixties, a ruddy, jovial man who was well into his pints but was still quite lucid. He was regaling the people around him with stories of his adventures on his fishing vessel, the _Breaking Dawn_. Although she was sure most of his stories were at least half tall tale, Bella found them fascinating, as if he were some kind of modern day Jack Sparrow. Her attention was quickly diverted when she felt Edward's hand slide up her leg and squeeze her thigh._

_She smiled at him. "Are you tired? Do you want to go back?"_

_He reached over and caressed her cheek. "Not tired at all..."_

Bella caught sight of her reflection and her broad grin distracted her from her memories. She blushed again, smiled at her reflection and opened the door to rejoin the beautiful man waiting for her on the other side.

****r~d****

Bella emerged from the bathroom, pulling a robe around herself.

Edward watched her as she approached the bed. He grabbed her hand as soon as she was close enough. "What exactly do you think you are doing, little missy?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Um...putting some clothes on?" Her statement lifted at the end, as if it were question.

"Uh-unh." He reached for the belt on the robe and tugged on it. " You have no need of clothes. You are perfect exactly the way you are." He pulled her onto the bed, positioning her so that she lay on top of him, her head propped on her hands so she could look in his face. He reached up and stroked her cheek, looking at her with wonder.

"You married me."

"Yes, I did."

"Shouldn't that be "I do?"

"Nope, I already did." Edward felt Bella's laughter all through his body.

_Edward could hardly get over the look on Bella's face as she listened and laughed at the old man's stories. His mind, however, had gone in a slightly different direction when he had heard the man start talking about having a ship._

_He hated to tear her attention away, but he wanted to see what she thought of his idea. He squeezed her leg to get her attention, and she immediately turned to face him._

"_Are you tired? Do you want to go back?_

"_Not tired at all. I was actually thinking..."_

_Bella leaned her cheek into his hand and closed her eyes. "What were you thinking baby?"_

"_Bella, did you know that sea captains can perform weddings?"_

_Her eyes widened. "Really?" Her voice was high and breathy. _

_His by contrast was low and soft. "Really." He continued to gaze into her eyes and cup her face in his palm. " What are you thinking?" he asked softly._

_She stared back at him, arrested by the love she saw in his eyes. She didn't hesitate._

"_I'm thinking...yes."_

"_Yes?" His eyes lit up with joy._

"_Yes!" she replied, her grin matching his._

_He stood up from his stool, taking her hand and pulling her with him. They approached the man down the bar. Bella was hesitant to interrupt him, but Edward waited for an opportune moment and tapped him in the shoulder._

"_Excuse me sir?"_

_The man turned to face the couple. " Can I help you son?" His face was curious and friendly._

"_We were wondering...you are a sea captain, aren't you?"_

"_Yes lad, been captain of my sweet Breaking Dawn for nigh on thirty years."_

"_And...is it true that sea captains can perform weddings?"_

_The man's beard twitched. "Aye lad, I believe I've heard that a time or two."_

"_Well...we were wondering...would you marry us?"_

_The people around them fell silent as the old man considered the couple standing before him. When he replied, it was to Bella, not Edward._

"_Little lass, you're awfully quiet. Does this young lad speak your wishes as well?"_

_Bella nodded shyly, looking up at Edward's profile. Then she turned to face the old man. Squeezing Edward's hand, she replied, " He's all I've ever wanted."_

_The man continued to look them over for a few minutes, until they both began to feel uncomfortable. Just as Edward was about to back away, his face broke into a smile. "Well lass, if he's all you've ever wanted, then far be it from me to keep you from it." He reached out a weathered hand to shake Edward's. "Eleazar. Please to meet you." Then he shouted to the woman behind the bar, "Carmen! Pints for everyone! We're havin' a wedding!"_

_From that point on, everything seemed to be in a hazy fast-forward. The patrons of the bar, embracing the excitement of the event, began rearranging the tables and chairs. Edward stole Bella's phone and sent a text message to the number labeled "Princess Alec", and shortly a crowd of students from Bella's program arrived, laughing and breathless. They placed a top hat on Edward's head and handed him a suit coat with tails, which he put on over his jeans and sweater. Several of the girls spirited Bella away to a back room, and Alec disappeared in the same direction a few minutes later. A girl who introduced herself as Irina emerged and directed Edward to stand on the far end of the room, at the end of the makeshift aisle next to Eleazar. _

_A man Edward vaguely remembered glimpsing earlier appeared at his side. "I'm Embry, " he said, holding out his hand. "I'll be your best man." Edward shook his hand and grinned at his introduction. "Oh!" he said, "I almost forgot. This is for you. For use in the opportune moment." Edward looked down to see a heavy silvery ring in his hand. He looked at Embry in puzzlement, and the man smirked. "Nicked it out of the props."_

_The chattering pub patrons fell into a hush as the opening notes of Claire de Lune began to play from small speakers someone had attached to an ipod on the bar, and Edward began searching the other end of the room for a glimpse of his bride._

_What he saw when she emerged made him catch his breath. Bella's classmates had clearly come well prepared. _

_In lieu of a wedding dress, Bella wore a gown vaguely similar to the ones Edward had seen in the many productions he had attended with her over the years. He never remembered any costume looking quite like this before._

_It was silvery-blue, with a lighter panel down the front and matching fabric peeking out of the skirt. It fit her perfectly, highlighting her small waist and gentle curves. She wore a chain made up of large medallions around her neck, and a matching one draped around her hips. She had a wreath of multicolored flowers in her hair, and she carried a small bouquet of similar blossoms with ribbons that trailed nearly to the floor. She was breathtaking._

_Her arm was tucked through Alec's, who was also wearing a top hat and tails over jeans and a white button-down. She was glowing. Her smile was radiant, and when she saw Edward, she laughed at the same time tears began to flow down her face. _

_When they reached the end of the aisle, Alec lifted Bella's hand from his arm and placed it in Edward's. He then stepped to the side, just opposite Embry. Eleazar looked at him quizzically, and Alec grinned. "I'm the maid of honor, mate!"_

_Eleazar chuckled, then turned to face the couple before him. He opened the prayer book that someone had managed to find._

"_Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this man and this woman in holy Matrimony..."_

_Edward thought he had never heard any sound quite as joyous as the roar of cheers that arose as he kissed his bride._

As pleasant as the memories were, they were nothing compared to the feel of the soft skin of the woman lying above him. He trailed his hands gently down her back to rest on the curve of her hips.

"How are you feeling this morning? Everything...all right?" He rubbed gentle circles onto her lower back with is fingertips, feeling the goosebumps that rose up on her skin at his touch.

She blushed and shifted gingerly, testing her body. "Everything's...ok." She smiled shyly and dropped her head to rest just above his shoulder. She felt his hands begin to travel even lower, and her breath caught in anticipation. Her heart accelerated even further at his next words.

"I love you, my Bella."

Between the kisses she placed on his neck, he felt her whispered response more than he heard it. "I love you too."

****r~d****

Bella woke again several hours later to the rare sight of sunlight streaming through the window. She was nestled against Edward's side, her arm draped over his bare abdomen. His arm rested around her shoulder, but was relaxed in sleep. She took the opportunity to examine his face. She was always astounded by how much younger he looked while he slept, almost as if he was still the little boy she had known so long ago. He was still as sweet and concerned for her well being, if a little overbearing.

With a blush, she thought about how different he was from that little boy. He was definitely a man. A beautiful, gentle, magnificent man who had been far more than she had ever allowed to herself to imagine.

_Within moments of the words "man and wife", and a kiss that Bella felt all the way to her toes, the atmosphere in the pub had shifted from ceremony to party. Loud music filed the room, and they were surrounded by laughing, dancing bodies. The two of them were swept into the group, both of them laughing at the contrast of Bella dancing to Lady Gaga in a renaissance gown. She spun through the crowd, accepting kisses and hugs and handshakes ad well-wishes. Someone pressed a glass of champagne in her hand, but it could not compare with the effervescent buzz that emanated from her heart and filled her body. She found herself back at Edward's side and pulled into his arms to dance. She lost all awareness of the people, the music, and the noise, and became solely aware of him. They danced slowly, despite the beat of the music that filled the room, and Bella found that no matter how closely she pressed herself to him, she could not seem to get close enough._

"_Do you want to get out of here?" he asked, his voice low in her ear and sending a shiver though her body. She couldn't find her voice, so she nodded._

_They tried to escape unnoticed, but didn't manage it. As soon as Bella exited the back room where she had gone to retrieve the clothes she had been wearing earlier, she heard the opening beats of a song she had sincerely hoped to never hear again. She knew immediately that it was Alec's doing, as the song was one of his favorites from his "so horrible it's awesome" playlist._

To the tick-tock you don't stop stop, to the tick-tock you don't stop

Ooooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh I wanna sex you up...

_She blushed a thousand shades of red and buried her face in Edward's shoulder. _

"_I guess sneaking out didn't work out so well, hunh?" he murmured into her hair._

"_Guess not," she answered, giggling._

_They made their way through the cheering, catcalling crowd to the door. Just before opening it, Edward grabbed Bella and dipped her backwards, placing a hard kiss on her lips. He pulled her up, and bowed to the crowd inside the pub before pulling her out the door._

_They walked hand in hand back towards her room. They spoke little, but the tension between them was palpable. It wasn't raining for once, and the night was warm for November. She even saw a little moonlight peeking through the clouds._

_She'd never had so much trouble unlocking a door before. After several attempts, he took the key from her shaking fingers and slid it into the lock, then turned the knob and opened the door._

_It became immediately apparent that Alec hadn't been the only one who had been busy helping them prepare for their impromptu wedding. _

_The room was filled with what appeared at first to be candlelight, but was actually the soft flicker of prop lights - tiny battery-operated bulbs on plastic candles. There were flowers like the ones in Bella's wreath and bouquet scattered artfully around the room, and what appeared to be a fireplace in the corner, complete with glowing coals...or what looked convincingly like coals. _

_Bella smiled at the scene. "I guess there are a few benefits to hanging around theatre nerds after all."_

_Edward approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her. "More than a few. Where did they get this dress?"_

_Bella leaned into his embrace. "It's my costume from The Winter's Tale. Do you like it?"_

_He turned her to face him. "It's the most beautiful wedding dress anyone has ever worn." He dipped his head to the exposed skin of her shoulder and pressed his lips there once, twice, three times. He inhaled deeply as she slid her hands up and around his shoulders. His fingers found the laces the held the dress together in the back, and she felt them begin to loosen under his touch. "I can think of something even more beautiful though."_

_Bella fought desperately to control her breathing. She had thought about this moment thousands of times; imagined it, fantasized about it, dreamed about it, and now that it was here, she was equal parts excited and terrified. Her stomach felt like it had joined Cirque du Soleil. She could not control the trembling she felt throughout her body. Edward must have felt it as well. She closed her eyes as she felt his lips slide to the skin beneath her ear._

"_Are you nervous, my Bella?" She found she could not speak; she could only nod in response._

"_Try to relax. I love you:" At his words, she felt the dress give way. He made no move to remove it; he simply moved his hands so that the tips of his fingers came into whisper-soft contact with the newly exposed skin on her back. She heard his voice, deep and soft, barely above a whisper, murmuring familiar words between kisses._

"_Betwixt mine eye and heart a league is took,_

_And each doth good turns now unto the other"_

_She gasped as the fabric at the back of the dress fell away, and he pushed the dress gently down her shoulders. She pulled one arm loose, and then the other, as he continued to press soft kisses down her spine until he encountered the fabric of the chemise she wore beneath the dress._

_Once the garment was free from her upper body, it fell, the soft fabric collapsing under its own weight until it piled around her knees. He put his arms around her and lifted her from the constraints of the fabric piled around her, and took in the sight of her in the thin cotton underdress._

"_When that mine eye is famish'd for a look,_

_Or heart in love with sighs himself doth smother_

_With my love's picture then my eye doth feast,_

_And to the painted banquet bids my heart"_

_As he pressed kisses along the curve of her neck, she pushed the suit coat down off his arms, and slid her hands around his waist. Her fingers slipped under the edge of his sweater, seeking the warmth of the skin underneath. He reached down and pulled at it, tugging it over his head along with the shirt he wore underneath. He bent again and resumed his attentions, this time placing kisses along her clavicle, continuing to murmur the poem in his velvet voice._

"_Another time mine eye is my heart's guest,_

_And in his thoughts of love doth share a part:_

_So, either by thy picture or my love,_

_Thy self away, art present still with me"_

_She was taken aback by the beauty of his body. She had seen him shirtless a thousand times over the course of their friendship, but never like this. He hissed sharply as she brought up her fingers to trace the shape of his nipples, and the tempo of his breathing increased as she continued her exploration, trailing her hand down to the contours of the muscles of his stomach. _ _Her fingers continued moving until they reached the trail of hair leading down from his navel, but she paused at the waistband of his jeans. She hesitated for a moment, then resumed exploring back upwards, running her hands up along his sides and back to his shoulders. She marveled at the flex and play of the muscles beneath her touch._

"_For thou not farther than my thoughts canst move,_

_And I am still with them, and they with thee;_

_Or, if they sleep, thy picture in my sight_

_Awakes my heart, to heart's and eyes' delight."_

_He nudged the this straps of the slip down her shoulders, and the garment fell slightly lower, revealing the tops of her breasts. His lips traced along the edge, and she felt the final words of the sonnet as vibrations against her skin._

"_When did you...I mean...that was beautiful, Edward. You memorized a sonnet?"_

"_I missed you baby. I missed you every minute of every day. Reading Shakespeare made it feel like you weren't so far away. That one struck me as particularly...relevant." He pulled her towards the bed, and sat down on the edge with her. The slip fell further, and Bella caught it, holding it against her body._

"_Please don't, love. Don't hide from me."_

"_I'm scared, Edward." Her voice was barely audible, even in the silence of the room. _

"_Please don't be. I love you. You are my whole life now." He lay back on the pillows and tugged her down to lie next to him._

_She wove her fingers through his hair as his mouth and hands traveled over her skin, gradually increasing in their fervor. Her back arched up off the mattress at his touch, and she tightened her fingers, eliciting a groan from his throat. He pulled back and looked down at her, his eyes dark, and his expression almost pained. _

"_Are you sure, Bella? I don't want you to do anything you are uncomfortable with, and I know you're nervous..."_

_She silenced him by leaning up and meeting her mouth with his. The kiss quickly evolved from tender to searching to desperate. She pulled away long enough to nod. _

"_I'm your wife. Even if I'm afraid, I want this." She started to pull him down again, but he stopped. She huffed in frustration._

"_Bella, do I need to...I mean, do you have..."_

_Bella was puzzled for a moment before she figured out what he was asking. She shook her head. "I'm covered. I went on the pill right after we got engaged."_

_His expression shifted to one of relief. "Thank God," he murmured, and his lips descended hungrily back to hers._

_Reality blurred, and her awareness narrowed to his hands, and his lips, and his body. Her fear melted like frost under the warmth of his touch. The buzz she had felt coursing through her since she left the pub increased in intensity until she felt it in every cell. She wondered briefly that the electricity between then didn't light up the city outside her room._

_Afterwards she lay in his embrace, feeling his skin against hers and the lingering trail of sparks his fingers left as they trailed sleepily along the skin of her back, and wondered how she had lived so long without him._

She smiled contentedly as she rested against his body. This morning had been more of the same. Not just the physical, although that was pretty amazing, but the look in his eyes as he gazed into hers, his words of love, and the connection she felt to him that was beyond anything she could have imagined.

He began to stir beneath her. His arms tightened around her, and then she felt him stretch.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," she said, her voice quiet.

"Yes, it was," he replied with a smirk.

She giggled. "Are you ready to get up?"

He reached down and palmed her behind. "It wouldn't be difficult to accomplish that." His smirk grew to a grin.

She wiggled away and lightly slapped his chest. "Silly."

Before she realized what had happened, he grabbed her and rolled them so he had her pinned to the bed. "I wasn't joking, love." He lowered himself until his mouth found hers.

After a few toe-curling minutes, Bella pulled away as much as she could. "Edward, stop."

His hands continued to explore her skin as he moved his lips to her neck. "Don't wanna."

She pushed at his shoulders until she gained his attention and they both sat up. "Really, stop. We need to get up. And besides..." She trailed off, her bottom lip between her teeth and her eyes downcast.

"What is it, love?" he asked, playing with a strand of hair that had fallen over her shoulder.

"I think...I think I need a...break, maybe? I'm a little...sore." She pulled the sheet up over her body, embarrassed.

His face constricted in concern. "Did I hurt you, baby? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it's fine." She reached over and smoothed the wrinkle between his eyebrows. "You didn't hurt me. It was a little uncomfortable, but you were...it was...it was perfect. It's just, um...unexplored territory, you know?"

"Baby, I am so sorry."

"Edward, stop." Her hand drifted upwards to stroke his hair. "I knew it would probably hurt. It was actually much less painful than I anticipated, and this morning was even less. I don't regret a single moment."

"Really?" His voice was worried, but her response was resolute.

"Really."

He smiled at her and pulled her close. "I love you so much, Bella, do you know that?"

"I kind of picked up on that, yeah."

They sat and held each other for a little while, until Edward pulled himself away reluctantly. "Well, if we must take a break, I guess I could take a shower. That ok?"

Bella nodded, and stood up, grabbing the robe that Edward had coerced her to discard earlier. She crossed to the closet and pulled out a towel, then handed it to him. "You can use whatever - my stuff is on the top shelf."

"I've got it, baby," he replied, extracting a small leather bag from his suitcase. He kissed her forehead before entering the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

Bella drifted around the room, gathering up the candles and flowers and unplugging the fireplace. She had picked up the last of the lights when she heard Edward's phone ring. She ignored it and began selecting clothes to wear for the day, but it shortly rang again. And then again. On the fourth ring, she decided to check to see who it was. She had just set the phone back down on his bag when the bathroom door opened and he emerged, a towel around his waist and a broad grin on his face. He pulled some clothes out of his bag and began to walk back to the bathroom, before stopping himself halfway across the room.

"I guess it's ok to change in front of you now, hunh?" he observed.

"I hadn't really thought about it, but yeah, I guess so." She smiled at his expression. "That might take a little adjustment. It's not all bad though," she replied, admiring his body as he dried off and pulled on boxer briefs and a clean pair of jeans.

"Why, Miss Swan," he teased, "are you checking out my ass?"

"Why yes I am," she replied. "And that's Mrs. Cullen to you, Mr. Cullen."

He walked to where she stood and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her. "Yes, I suppose it is, isn't it." His smile lit up the room.

"Speaking of names, somebody was blowing up your phone just now. Who's Makenna?"

****r~d****

Edward stood in Bella's shower, enjoying the feel of the hot water. He was having a hard time wrapping his brain around how much things had changed. Forty-eight hours previously he had been visiting with his parents, trying to avoid questions about Bella and pretending not to see the concern in his mother's eyes. Now he was married to the love of his life, blissfully happy, and excited to tell his mother that she didn't have to worry so much about him anymore.

The thought of Esme's reaction to the news brought an even bigger smile to his face as he toweled himself off and went out into Bella's room. He felt a sudden awkwardness as he started to get dressed, but Bella's teasing and obvious admiration helped him relax. His ease ended abruptly though, as he heard the last question he ever expected come out of Bella's mouth.

"Who's Makenna?"

He tone and expression were completely innocent. She was clearly not accusing or suspicious of him, rather, she seemed to be asking the question out of curiosity.

Edward couldn't quite decide how to answer her. He didn't want to lie, but he also didn't want to hurt her unnecessarily. He stalled.

"Why do you ask?"

"Your phone rang a million times while you were in there," she replied, indicating the device in question. She seemed a little cowed. "After the third or fourth time I looked to see who it was, I thought maybe it was some kind of emergency. I would only have answered if it was your mother or something."

"Bella, it's fine. You're welcome to look at my phone anytime. I just wondered."

"Oh. Okay." Bella sat down on the bed.

Edward sat down next to her and stroked her hair. "Bella, stop worrying. You're my wife. My phone is your phone."

She smiled a little. "I guess there are a few other things we'll have to adjust to." She leaned up and kissed him. "So who's Makenna? That's a really unique name."

"She's a unique girl," he answered. "She's in the band, she plays the violin. She's really talented."

"That's cool. Any idea why she was so desperate to get ahold of you? I hope everything is alright."

"I'm sure it's fine," Edward answered, continuing to play with Bella's long brown waves. "We were supposed to go see a movie or something today, she was probably just trying to track me down."

Bella pulled back and looked at him. "The band doesn't know you're here?" she asked incredulously.

"Nope." Edward shook his head.

Bella looked at him for a moment, her head tilted slightly and her eyes narrowed. "Edward...does _anyone_ know you're here? Jasper, Carlisle, anyone? "

Again Edward shook his head. "Not a soul except me and you."

"Why not?" she asked.

"It was kind of...last minute. I spent part of the week with my parents, and I got your letter after I got home late Thanksgiving Day. After I read it I pretty much threw some stuff in a bag, got online, found a flight, and went straight to the airport."

"But...how on Earth did you afford it? Alice said you had been working like crazy to try to save money since you wouldn't be working while you were on tour."

Edward flushed slightly. "I used money from...I used some of the Platt money."

"_So, what did you and my mom talk about yesterday?" Edward's voice was hesitant, and he squeezed Bella's hand where it lay entwined with his. They had been driving for about an hour, and Bella had been uncharacteristically silent for most of the ride._

"_Oh, a little of this, a little of that. She told me an interesting story though."_

"_Really, what was that?"_

"_She told me about how she and Carlisle met...and what happened before she met him."_

_Edward glanced over at her. Her face was impassive. "She did?" Bella nodded._

"_I'm glad. I mean, I'm not glad it happened, and I am sorry you had to hear such a sad story, but I am glad you know."_

"_I've wondered, you know, about your grandparents. I know you are really close to Carlisle's family, but you never really said anything about your other grandparents. Did they die?"_

_Edward sighed. "Yes, but just a couple of years ago. I only saw them a few times before that though. They never really got over all of it; they never stopped being mad at mom over what they saw as her failure. They didn't even come to the wedding when she married dad. They didn't have a big wedding anyway, it was kind of fast because he was about to go to Seattle for his residency, but you would think they would come to their only daughter's wedding. Mom kind of tried to keep in touch, she sent them letters and pictures and stuff, but things never really changed. They were killed in a car accident when I was nineteen. "_

"_Edward, I'm so sorry." Bella rubbed his arm with the hand that wasn't currently connected to his._

"_It's alright. Mom has gotten over it and moved on. I think she had grieved for them long before they died. They did manage to get in one final shot though. They were pretty well off, and died pretty young, so they never really used all of the money they had saved to retire, but they wrote their will so that they didn't leave anything to mom. Most of the money went to some garden club thing in the town where they lived, but they left some to me, in a trust fund that I got when I turned twenty-one. The only stipulation was that mom never have any access to the money." Edward's voice was tinged with anger._

"_That's awful. What did Esme say?"_

"_She was so great, Bella - she said that she was thankful that they had left me the money, and she was glad that even though they had failed to take care of her that they had at least tried to take care of me. She said I should use it for something that made me happy._

"_Did you?"_

"_I've never touched it. They didn't want my mom, or my dad, or me; I don't want their money."_

Bella's jaw dropped. "You used...you used the money your grandparents left you?"

Edward chuckled. "Well, not all of it, obviously. But yes, I did."

"But...I thought you said you never wanted to use it, because of how they treated your mom."

"I didn't. But when I got it, mom told me I should use it for something that made me happy." Edward looked directly into Bella's eyes. "So I did."

****r~d****

Saturday night as they were getting ready for bed, Edward had expressed a desire to go to church, so on Sunday morning they walked hand in hand a few blocks to Saint Catherine's, a small Anglican church Bella discovered shortly after her arrival in London and had attended a few times since. Bella watched Edward as he went to receive the host; the joy on his face had a beauty that rivaled the stained-glass windows of the building. After the mass, he tugged her forward and spoke to the priest, who smiled and prayed a blessing over the two of them, one hand resting on each of their bowed heads. Bella was unable to stop the tears as she listened to the priest's quiet words, and when they had raised their heads, she saw moisture on Edward's face as well. She reached over and wiped the tears away, and the minister smiled at this gesture. After leaving the church they found a quiet cafe and ordered lunch, eating in peaceful, easy silence.

Bella finally spoke as Edward was taking his final bites.

"Do you wish we had waited? We could have had a church wedding if you wanted to." Edward's head shot up and had looked at Bella's face. He reached across the small table and grasped her hand tightly in his.

"No Bella. No. Our wedding was perfect. Perfect. I wouldn't change a single millisecond."

Bella wrinkled her nose happily. "I've been trying to decide who's going to kill us more, Esme or Alice."

Edward smiled. "Don't worry love, I won't let anyone injure my bride.'

Bella took a moment to relish the feel of his words. _My bride. _

"Alice will be mad for sure, but she'll just pitch a fit and then she'll jump up and down and squeal and everything will be fine. I'm a little more worried about Esme; I hate the idea of hurting your mother."

"Your mother now too, don't forget."

Bella hadn't forgotten. Esme had been like a mother to her for so long, she was beyond excited that it was now official. Therein lay the reason for her worry.

"Do you think she'll be very upset?"

Edward turned her hand over and began tracing patterns into her open palm. "I think she's going to be thrilled. Ecstatic. She might be a little disappointed that she missed the actual event, but she'll understand." He chuckled. "She will almost certainly insist on throwing us a reception when we come home though."

Bella's forehead creased at his words. "We haven't talked about that Edward...when are we going home?"

Edward took a deep breath. "I've been thinking about that...I know it's probably too late for you to move into married housing, and I certainly can't keep living in your room for the next six months, so thought I'd try to find an apartment nearby-"

"Wait," Bella interrupted. "You're planning on staying here?"

"Of course. What else would I do?"

What about your tour Edward? What about the band?"

"I'll tell them I can't go." Edward's voice was calm.

Bella's wasn't. "You can't do that! You've been working your whole life for this, and you'll ruin your career, and leave all the guys in a lurch three days before they leave on tour!"

"Bella, it will be fine. I'll call Garrett. He's spent the last three months listening to me talk about you...actually, the word he used most was 'pouting'. He'll understand."

"Oh man, he must think I'm such a bitch." Bella's face dropped into her hands.

"Baby, look at me." Edward brought his hand to her jaw, lifting her face so she could meet his eyes. "You weren't a bitch. You made some bad decisions, but I wasn't innocent either. I thought about this a lot. I messed this up. I pushed you too hard. I know your history, and I knew how scary the idea of marriage must have been to you, but instead of paying attention and trying to see how you were feeling, I plowed through. I hurt you. Besides, none of that matters now. I forgive you, and Garrett and the others will all love you."

"Still," Bella replied, " you can't bail on them. This isn't just about us. You won't be able to live with yourself if you give this up. Only..."

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"Do you think I'll be able to come with you? I know it's a lot to ask, but it's not like I'll need my own rooms or anything-"

"No."

"What do you mean, no? They won't let me come? But you said...I'll haul equipment, or sell t-shirts-"

"No Bella, that's not it. I'm sure you would be welcome. But you aren't coming. You are staying here, and I am staying here with you. You've worked to hard to get here, and you're a third of the way finished already. I am not letting you give up your dream for me."

"Well, I'm not letting you give up your dream for me!"

"It's not a question, Bella. I'm calling Garrett to cancel. I'm staying here with you. The decision has been made. I'm putting my foot down."

Bella's eyebrows shot up. "You've putting your _what _down?"

Edward backed up slightly. "Bella, I..."

"Come on, let's go." Bella stood abruptly. Edward followed quickly.

"Where are you going?"

"Back to my room." Bella did not slow down or turn around as she strode back in the direction of her building. "We're not having our first married fight in a restaurant. I might feel the need to be...loud."

****r~d****

Bella didn't speak another word during the entire walk back. Edward followed her lead. He hadn't meant to sound like some dictator husband from the fifties, and he had known the second the words left his mouth that he had said the wrong thing, but he felt that he didn't have any other options. She was here, therefore he would be here with her. Anything else was unacceptable.

The look on her face was unreadable as she strode up the stairs and unlocked to her door. As soon as the door latched behind them, she whirled in place to face him.

"Explain yourself, Edward. Since when, exactly, do you 'put your foot down'? I don't recall abdicating my right to make my own decisions. I'm pretty sure I would remember something like that."

"Bella, I didn't mean it that way, I'm just trying to do what's best for you, and-"

"That's the problem, Edward, you're trying to do what's best for me, without actually bothering to ask me. Besides that, you shouldn't be making decisions about me, you should be trying to do what's best for us. Us, Edward, as in you and me, as in we make the decision together. I'm not a child. I don't need you to figure out what's best for me. I need you to talk to me and let us make decisions together. Not you. Not me. Us."

Bella's eyes were blazing, her face was flushed. Edward was taken aback by how beautiful she was like this.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Damn right! Wait, what?"

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm pushing you again."

"You - you are-" Bella shook her head, flustered.

"Bella, are you ok?"

"I don't know - I - but - how am I supposed to fight with you when you agree with me?"

Edward laughed. "Do you _want_ to fight?"

"No, but...what just happened?"

He took her hand and pulled her over to the bed. They sat down facing one another before Edward spoke again.

"It's kind of strange...I was about to argue with you, and then I had this weird deja vu moment, and I realized that we keep coming back here. We've had this problem before, and we did it all wrong. Last time I didn't want to pressure you, and first I didn't tell you what I wanted, then I tried to force your hand, and we managed to screw everything up so badly I was sure we could never put the pieces together again. I don't want to repeat that. I don't want to keep going around the same loop. I don't want to risk losing you again. So I made a different choice."

Bella smiled. "Nicely done, Cullen. But if we aren't going to fight about it, how ever are we going to figure this out?"

"Well," he drawled, walking towards her, " we could...play a game for it? Rock paper scissors? Better yet, strip rock paper scissors? First one naked loses?"

She smirked. "Edward, I think the goal here is to figure out a way for both of us to win."

"Baby," he replied, pulling her close and spinning her around until the back of her legs hit the edge of the bed, "if I have anything to say about it, we both will."

While Bella took a shower later on, Edward borrowed her computer to check his email. Aside from the inevitable junk mail that had accumulated over several days, he had a few messages of significance; one from his mom saying how much she had enjoyed seeing him at Thanksgiving, a couple from Makenna that he chose not to open, and one from Garrett. Its subject line was 'Last Minute Details', and when he opened it, he found a long missive that included a final itinerary, contact and ticket information for all of the venues they would be playing, and some logistics about who was bringing what. The whole thing was being done as simply and cheaply as possible, since the bad was still building a fan base, but it was legitimate, and they were playing some pretty amazing places up and down the West coast. Edward noticed that the final show was back in Seattle, three days after the last day of Bella's program.

The email ended with a personal message from Garrett.

_Gentlemen (and lady), I can't tell you how excited I am to have this opportunity, and to share the experience of a lifetime with such talented artists. I know we have all been working our whole lives to fulfill this dream, and I can't think of anyone I would rather share it with. I am especially psyched that Edward will be joining us - his gifts have taken us to a whole new place. Who knew that when Hudson broke his hand it would eventually lead to such good things? I suspect that the events of the next six months are going to change all of our lives._

Edward's heart sank.

****r~d****

When Bella emerged from the bathroom she immediately noticed that the grin that had been almost perpetually present on Edward's face since Friday night was gone, replaced by an expression of consternation. She pulled on her robe and crossed to him, sitting cross-legged across from him on the bed.

"What's the matter? You look like you just got diagnosed with cancer of the puppy."

One corner of Edward's mouth quirked up at Bella's phrasing, but then fell again. He sighed and handed the computer to her, indicating the email. Silence filled the room as she read quickly. She looked up at him when she finished reading and smiled sadly.

"He sounds like a great guy. Edward, seriously, you have to go. This isn't just about you and me. You have a whole group of people counting on you."

Edward scowled. "You matter much more than they do, Bella."

She took his hand. When she spoke, her voice was quiet and had a barely detectable tremor. "The thing is, Edward...I don't, really. No, don't interrupt, just listen. I know I matter more to you than they do. But in the grand scheme of the universe, they are just as important as me. Their dreams matter every bit as much as mine. I was really selfish for a long time, Edward. I've been so focused on me and what I needed and what I was dealing with that I almost lost everything. I didn't know it then, but I know it now, and I can't keep living that way when I know better. I can't be selfish about this, and I can't let you do it either. I love you too much to watch you be that guy. You would hate yourself, and you know it. You have to go." She took a deep breath and looked down at where her fingers played with a thread on her quilt. When she resumed speaking, the quake in her voice was much more evident. "I want you to stay more than I have ever wanted anything before in my entire life, but I know it would destroy you, and destroy us in the process. I just got you back. I can't lose you again."

Edward carefully set the laptop on her desk, then lay down and pulled her with him. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and she snuggled into his chest.

"I thought you were here studying Shakespeare, not Solomon," he observed.

She chuckled. "Most of the characters in his plays do really stupid stuff, and he wasn't going to win the Mr. Mental Health pageant either. Studying Shakespeare is basically studying bad decision-making cause and effect up close and personal. The words are really pretty though." She paused thoughtfully. "Besides, I've had a lot of time to think over the past three months. I figured some stuff out."

"I see that." He pulled her closer and kissed her gently. The kissing escalated quickly, but Bella broke away, panting.

"Edward, we have to...ooh, that feels really good...wait..." She reluctantly pulled back from his lips that had been traveling quickly down her neck. She laughed at the pout that appeared on his handsome face. "I'm sorry, but we have to figure this out, and that's not going to happen if we keep that up."

Edward pouted for a few more seconds before relenting. "Alright," he said, sighing deeply. He reached for her hands, but she backed away, moving to the other end of the bed.

"I think a little space is going to be imperative if we want to have this discussion."

Edward huffed, but he didn't argue and moved to lean against the headboard.

"Ok. I think the first thing we have to do is figure out all our options." Edward nodded in agreement, and chuckled as Bella stood to get a notebook and pen from her desk.

"You're such a nerd," he observed.

"Takes one to know one, Obi-ward," she retaliated.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, his voice full of false umbrage. "Nobody's called me that since seventh grade!"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, because that's when you gave up referring to yourself that way."

"Whatever, Bel-leia".

She laughed. "Um, Edward, I'm pretty sure picking on me with a nickname you made up doesn't make yours any cooler." She paused thoughtfully. "And if you think about it, if you're Obi-wan and I'm Leia...ew."

A look of disgust crossed Edward's face, and then he quirked up his eyebrows. "So does that make me Han Solo? Hanward?" He crawled over the bed towards her.

Bella tilted her head to look at him. "What was that about me being a nerd?"

"OK, point taken." He leaned back against the headboard again.

"Can we do this, or am I going to have to throw my pen at you?"

"Okay, okay, I'll behave." He folded his arms across his chest.

"So...option one - I go home and go on tour with you."

"No." At this, Bella glared at Edward.

"Option one - I go home and go on tour with you." This time he remained silent, but shook his head.

"Option two - You blow off the tour and stay here with me." Edward nodded.

"Option three - I stay here, you go on tour, and we're apart for six months."

"I don't like that one," Edward said, all hint of teasing gone from his voice.

"I don't either," she replied, " but I think we have to consider it."

They sat quietly for a few minutes before Bella spoke again. "So those are our three extremes - are there any other options we're missing? Some happy medium where no one has to sacrifice so much?"

"Well...I could talk to Garrett and see if they could start looking for someone to replace me part way through the tour. That way I'm not leaving them in a lurch and if we could work it out, I could come back here earlier."

"Oh! That's good!" Bella wrote quickly in the notebook. "I wonder if I could do the same thing... we only have a few weeks left this semester, I wonder if I could defer the second half of the course? How would you feel about coming back here after the tour is over?"

"I could do that," Edward said, a smile growing over his face.

Bella was getting excited. "That way, you get to do the whole tour, I don't have to give up the program, and we would only have to be separated for like, a month, if that."

"Wouldn't it delay you finishing your degree?"

"A little, but not too much. I could probably do some work on my thesis while I'm traveling with you. Not as much as if I was here, or at home, but some. I might lose a semester, but that's not really a big deal."

They both wore matching grins. "Did we just solve our problem?" he asked.

"I think we did. I'd call that our first marital crisis averted, Mr. Cullen."

"I concur, Mrs. Cullen. Since that's taken care of, can I please get in your pants now?"

"I'm not wearing any pants," she answered, launching herself at him.

"Semantics," he replied, as he tugged on the tie of her robe.

****r~d****

Edward reveled in the feeling of Bella's head resting on his shoulder as she slept. He gazed down at the clouds, occasionally glimpsing what he knew had to be the ocean as the clouds shifted. He turned and nuzzled the top of her head. She had been sad to leave her friends, but fortunately she had managed to defer her program, and they would be returning to London together after the tour so she could finish. It had all worked out so beautifully, he could hardly believe it was real. He rested his head on Bella's and closed his eyes, absorbed in bliss.

He jerked awake as the plane hit turbulence. The businessman in the seat next to him had fallen asleep and was snoring softly. He shook his head, as the dream cleared and was replaced by the very real memory of Bella standing in the airport waving until he couldn't see her anymore, smiling bravely and fighting the tears that had been falling intermittently since her alarm went off way too early that morning.

_The harsh beeping jerked them both awake after only a few hours of sleep. They had gone to bed early, know what time they had to wake up, but they hadn't actually slept; they had lain awake for hours, making love and holding each other as close as was physically possible, whispering words of love and reassurance. _

_They were silent in the cab ride over. She sat tucked under his arm, holding his free hand in both of hers. The silence continued into the airport, through the check-in lines, all the way to security. Once they arrived they clung to each other until the last possible moment. Just as Edward was pulling away to board the plane, Bella pulled him back and looked into his eyes. _

"_I didn't find everything I was looking for. Everything I was looking for found me."_

_He leaned his forehead against hers and nodded. He bent to kiss the tear that had escaped her eye, caught her lips in a final kiss, then pulled away and forced himself to walk through the metal detectors. He had to run to make it to his plane, but it was worth it just to hear her final words._

Edward leaned against his headrest and reflected on the events of the past few days. The tour was leaving on Wednesday, so he bought a return ticket for Tuesday. Bella skipped her classes on Monday to be with him, but went to meet with her dean to see if it would be possible to defer her second semester. Edward wanted to go with her, but Bella insisted it would be better if she went alone. Her face told the story the moment she walked back into her room where he waited. The dean had said no, deferment was not possible. No, reapplication was not allowed. In addition to all the things she couldn't do, Bella learned of one thing she would have to do; because of the requirements of the grant she had received to fund her time there, if she left the program for anything other than 'catastrophic family emergency' she would be required to pay back the cost of not just her first semester, but the entire program. No, they did not consider the prospect of being separated from her new husband for six months to be a catastrophic emergency. He explained that he was very sorry to be delivering such bad news, but this was one of the most prestigious programs in the world and they had a waiting list a kilometer long, and it would be unfair to rob another student of the opportunity to study just because Bella changed her mind halfway through.

Edward had to admit to himself that Bella had handled the news better than he had. She had been resigned and accepting; he had wanted to go punch the dean, or at least break something in his office. They tried to make the most of the limited time they had left together, but their impending separation and the uncertainty of the future hung over them like a fog until the moment they parted in the airport.

Edward shifted in his seat and felt something poking into his leg. He reached into his pocket to find a note, elaborately folded the way Bella used to fold notes when they were teenagers. She must have slipped it into his pocket before he put the pants on this morning. He gingerly unfolded the paper to read the message inside.

_Edward,_

_I love you. The past few days have been the most wonderful of my entire life, and it is all because you had the courage to come halfway around the world for me. I can never be thankful enough for that. I know that we are both sad right now at the prospect of being separated, and we don't really know what will happen yet, but I am not afraid. You had the courage to come to me; I will have the courage to be away from you, and I have faith that courage will be enough for both of us. This is forever my love, and compared to forever six months is the blink of an eye. I will miss you, and we may be stretched, but I have faith that we will not be broken. My love for you will not fail._

_Love, Bella_

A/N

The sonnet Edward quotes is number 47. I've reprinted it all together below for your reading enjoyment. It struck me as very appropriate to their situation.

Betwixt mine eye and heart a league is took,

And each doth good turns now unto the other:

When that mine eye is famish'd for a look,

Or heart in love with sighs himself doth smother,

With my love's picture then my eye doth feast,

And to the painted banquet bids my heart;

Another time mine eye is my heart's guest,

And in his thoughts of love doth share a part:

So, either by thy picture or my love,

Thy self away, art present still with me;

For thou not farther than my thoughts canst move,

And I am still with them, and they with thee;

Or, if they sleep, thy picture in my sight

Awakes my heart, to heart's and eyes' delight.

"Go back to your knitting" is from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the movie, not the book.

"You look like you just got diagnosed with cancer of the puppy" is from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 4, Episode 1 "The Freshman"

The song "I Wanna Sex You Up" was recorded by Color Me Badd and released in 1991. I do not own the song, although once upon a time I owned the tape, and used to play it out the window when I was in boarding school at couples making out in the courtyard below my window.

Bella's dress is based on this one, although I changed the color in my mind.

www (dot) etsy (dot) com/listing/71790883/rosalind-tudor-court-renaissance-dress

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It was fun to write. I know some people might be a little upset of the lack of lemons, but I am not very comfortable writing them, so this is about as citrusy as this story is going to get.

So what do you think? Will they be able to survive being long-distance newlyweds?

Reviews are lovely, like being Hanward's Princess Leia.


	12. Chapter 12

Twilight is the property of Stephenie Meyer. Gilmore Girls is the property of Amy Sherman-Palladino. All recognizable characters, settings, etc are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

This chapter is quite different than the others in this story, I hope you enjoy!

To: Edward Cullen

From: Makenna Reed

Subject: This weekend

Hey!

I hope you had a good time with your parents! I hope I get the chance to meet them soon.

The movie is showing at 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, and 7:40. How about we do the 3:20 show and then we can have an early dinner and hang out at my place for a while, or see if Garrett and the guys want to go get a drink or something?

I can't wait to see you!

Makenna

To: Edward Cullen

From: Makenna Reed

Subject: What's up?

Hey, I know you were supposed to get back last night, but I haven't heard back from you about this weekend yet and the guys said they haven't seen you or talked to you. We leave Wednesday morning for Vancouver-I'll see you before then, right? We still need to figure out what we are going to tell the guys about us.

-M

To: Edward Cullen

From: Makenna Reed

Subject: Now I am really worried

You haven't answered any of my emails or text messages and I called you several times but your phone went straight to voicemail. Where are you? Garrett's going to be pissed if you are dead in a ditch somewhere. I might be a little upset as well. I miss you. Call me please!

To: Makena Reed

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: Re: Now I am really worried

Makenna,

We need to talk.

Edward

To: Isabella Swan

From: Alice Swan

Subject: OHMYGOD!

! OHMYGODBELLAYOU'REMARRIED! Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!

I guess I get why you didn't call me, I know your phone doesn't really do international calls, but Edward's does! Couldn't you have at least sent a text message or something? I had to hear about it after the fact from your brother, who heard it from your husband.

YOUHAVEAFREAKINGHUSBAND! OHMYGOD!

I'm still mad at you. You could have called. I would say I'm not speaking to you, but then I wouldn't get all the details, and I NEED DETAILS!

Spill. Immediately. You owe me.

Alice

P.S. I am totally throwing you a reception when you get home. Don't even try and stop me. And it will all be pink and sparkly to get you back for leaving me out.

To: Alice Swan

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: re: OHMYGOD!

Alice,

I am so sorry. It all happened really fast, and then Edward and I had so little time together, that I think we wanted it to be just us for the first few days. We didn't mean to leave you out, it just happened that way. Then he had to leave, and I haven't really wanted to talk about it. I'll tell you all the details eventually, I promise.

You don't have to throw a reception, Alice, but if that's what you want to do I won't fight you. You can even make it pink and sparkly if that makes you happy.

Give Jasper my love. Please tell him not to worry.

Bella

To: Jasper Swan

From Isabella Swan

Subject: I need some advice

Jas,

Alice emailed me and told me Edward told you guys about what happened this weekend. Jas, I am so sorry you couldn't be here with us. I wanted you at my wedding, but everything happened really fast and, except for your absence, it was perfect.

My problem is mom and dad. I'm not sorry they weren't there, but I think I should probably tell them before they find out some other way. I don't think I owe them anything, but it would really suck to find out your daughter is married from some random picture on the Internet, you know? I don't want to be cruel.

What should I do? Help me please!

I love you. I miss you, big brother.

Bella

To: Isabella Swan

From: Jasper Swan

Subject: re: I need some advice

Baby sis,

That's a hard one. I agree you need to tell them before someone else does. They are going to be upset either way, but they are going to be really pissed if they get blindsided by somebody. Everybody in Forks knows the Charlie, and they all know the Cullens. There is bound to be talk, particularly because of the way you guys got married. You know Mrs. Cope at the Safeway is probably going to tell everyone you got pregnant and that's why you ran away to get married. I know you didn't run away, but that's the way it's going to look to lots of people.

You aren't pregnant, are you?

-J

To: Jasper Swan

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: re: I need some advice

Very helpful, Jas. I hadn't even thought about how the gossips at home will spin everything. Crap. I hope nobody says anything to upset Esme or Carlisle.

How would you suggest I handle it? Would it be terrible to just send them an email? Edward and I told his parents over Skype, but I don't think Charlie even knows how to skype, and I doubt he has a fast enough internet connection anyway. I don't want to talk to our mother at all if I can avoid it.

How about you just tell them? Pretty please?

Bella

To: Isabella Swan

From: Jasper Swan

Subject: Um, no.

Bella,

I will not tell our parents that you married your previously estranged boyfriend on a whim in a bar in London. I love you, but I love all of my body parts more. You are on a different continent and there is an ocean separating you from them. That might be at minimum safe distance.

Email probably isn't the best way to do it, but that's what I'd do. Give me a heads up first, so I can decide whether I want to watch, or go on an extended vacation in an undisclosed location.

-J

To: Alice Swan

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: Message

Alice,

Please tell your husband that he is neither funny nor helpful.

Bella

To: Isabella Swan

From: Alice Swan

Subject: re: Message

B,

I tell him that almost every day. He's good in bed though, so I keep him around.

-A

To: Alice Swan

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: re: Message

Seriously Alice, ew.

To: Isabella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: Three and a half days

My love,

That's how long it's been since I last saw your beautiful face in person. Fortunately, I see it in my mind all the time. The memory of your face is my constant companion. _For thou not farther than my thoughts canst move, and I am still with them, and they with thee._ I see you the way you looked walking down the aisle toward me, I see your smile in the morning light, I see you the way you looked beneath me while we were making love, and I see the way you looked with sweet tears on your face when we said goodbye. I'm thankful for every one of those memories since they are the only part of you I have right now.

I've decided that if you're amenable to the idea, after these six months are over, we are never going to be separated again. It will be hard to figure out a way to go to work together, but we'll figure it out. How would you feel about getting surgically attached?

I miss you, in case you failed to catch my incredibly subtle hints.

We started the tour Wednesday as planned, and we've played three shows now. I wish you could be with us, baby. It's amazing. Playing live is so much better than playing in a studio, and the combination of playing live with the energy of the audience is magical. It's the most incredible experience I could have ever imagined. Truthfully, it's the most incredible experience I could have imagined until a few days ago. Unfortunately, that particular experience is out of the question as long as we are on different continents, so I'll have to settle for the thrill of playing shows with the band.

Are you blushing? I hope so. I love the way you blush, particularly now that I know how the color travels all the way down your delicious neck, over your chest, and past your perfect little nipples. I miss your body, baby. A lot. I miss the way you feel pressed against me, the way you taste, the way you kiss; I miss your arms around me. I miss...other parts as well. Now _I'm_ blushing. Just four days with my wife were not enough. Four nights were definitely not enough. Four hundred nights wouldn't have been enough. Maybe once we've had four thousand nights together this craving I have for you will abate a bit...but I doubt it. I doubt four million nights with you would be enough.

I love you. I wish you were here, or that I was there. Seeing you on Skype isn't enough. It's almost like torture to see you and not be able to smell you, touch you, or taste you. Still, I would choose that torture over anything else. I can't wait to see you this afternoon, even if it is only over the internet.

Love,

Your husband

To: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: re: Three and a half days

My husband,

I first opened your email in the library, and you got your wish-I blushed so much it probably would have lit up the whole room if I hadn't stopped halfway through and gone back to my room. I had to wait until Jane went to rehearsal before I read it. You have quite a way with words. Of course, it didn't make me miss you any less to read about everything you miss about me. I miss you so much-your voice, your smell, your arms, your chest. I definitely miss your...other parts as well.

It's still so weird to me to miss all those things. I won't lie; I thought about making love with you more than once while we were together, but thinking about it in the abstract and thinking about it after actually having experienced it are two entirely different things. Thinking about you doesn't make me miss you any less either, but I would still rather think about you than not. Memories are strange things. I can close my eyes and remember and it's almost like you are back here with me. Almost, but not quite, and the difference between the memory and the reality is almost more than I can take. I changed the sheets on my bed but not the pillowcase, because it smells like you. I am hanging on to every part of you I can until I can have the real you with me again. I don't think I care if it is strange.

Speaking of hanging onto things, did you realize you left your gray sweatshirt here? I have no intention of giving it back, but I thought I'd let you know it was here in case you were looking for it. Don't laugh at me, but I've been sleeping with it like a teddy bear.

I don't know that I am in favor of surgical attachment, but I do know that once we are together again it will be a long, long time before I am ready to be separated for any significant period of time again.

I'm so glad to hear that the tour is so wonderful. It makes it worth being so far away from you to know that you are happy. We have our whole lives to be together, and I want that life to be free from regret for both of us. Even though it was hard to let you go-maybe the hardest thing I have ever done-just reading about how much you love touring and playing with the guys makes it so much easier. I love you and I want all of your dreams to come true.

Memories aren't all you have. You have my heart.

Love,

Your wife

To: Isabella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: You have mine, too.

Would you like me to send you more of my clothes? You could put them around you like a fort. I kind of like the idea of you sleeping in a little nest of my clothes. I like the idea of you sleeping in a nest made of me even better, but my clothes would be the next best thing.

I was a little afraid to tell you about the tour. I don't want you to think I don't miss you, because I miss you more than anything, but it really is wonderful. The only thing that could make it better would be if you were here with me. Can you play the triangle? I bet I could talk Garrett into writing in some triangle parts. Or maybe a tambourine?

Love you, love you, love you.

Your husband

P.S. My parts say "Hi." They miss you, too, and are quite angry with me for going so far away from their favorite place.

To: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: Tambourine?

You know, according to Gilmore Girls, the only reason to have a tambourine is if it's being played by a hot chick.

To: Isabella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: re: Tambourine?

My point exactly.

To: Renee Swan , Charles Swan

From: Isabella Swan

BCC: Jasper Swan

Subject: Exciting news

Dear Mom and Dad,

I have some important news to share, and although I realize email might not be the best medium in which to communicate this, it seemed the most efficient, and I wanted you to hear it from me first.

You may have heard that Edward and I were taking some time apart while I was studying in London. We had planned initially for him to come here with me, but he got a really incredible career opportunity and it was too good to pass up, so he stayed in Seattle while I came here.

Last week Edward came to visit before leaving on an extended work-related trip, and while he was here, we decided to get married.

I realize this may come as a shock, and it probably seems like it is terribly rushed, but I want to assure you that we considered this decision carefully and we both feel this was the best thing. We are very much in love and happy with the decision we made.

I am sorry that neither of you were able to attend, but it is my understanding that Esme intends to host a reception for us when I come back in June, and of course you will be invited to come celebrate with us there.

Sincerely,

Bella

To: Isabella Swan

From: Jasper Swan

Subject: re: Exciting news

Nicely done. Let me know what they say. Love you.

To: Isabella Swan

From: Renee Dwyer

Subject: Your "news"

Bella,

I must say, I was a little surprised when you finally decided to contact me after your long silence. In addition to my surprise, I was very disappointed at the contents of your email. I have been concerned in the past about many of the decisions you have made, but this most recent debacle is beyond the pale.

Did you take a moment to consider what this would mean for you before rushing off to marry this boy? Marriage is not a game, Bella, and I fear you do not have an appropriate understanding of the choice you made. How will this affect your education? Is it even legal for you to get married in England? Since he is going on an "extended work-related trip," does that mean you will still be separated? These are all things you should have considered before foolishly rushing into a commitment you are clearly not prepared to fulfill.

What sort of trip is he on? I understood that he was still trying to be a musician. Does that mean he finally got a real job? Perhaps at least he is making constructive decisions.

I am very disappointed in you, Bella, and I fear that I cannot support you in this decision.

Renee Dwyer

To: Jasper Swan

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: You asked for it.

I have attached our mother's response. It's awesome. I think I'll frame it and hang it on my wall.

To: Isabella Swan

From: Jasper Swan

Subject: Mom's email

Bella,

That email sucks. Hell, she sucks, but you already knew that. Try not to let it get to you. You knew she would probably do something like this, but you also know that all of us who aren't miserable, uptight bitches are behind you guys. Maybe for Christmas this year we could get her a gift certificate for Rectal Pinecone Removals R Us?

-J

To: Isabella Swan

From: Alice Swan

Subject: Poor Bella

B,

Jazzy showed me the email Renee sent you. I am so, so sorry, sweetie. She's totally wrong.

Alice

To: Renee Dwyer

From: Isabella Swan

BCC: Jasper Swan

Subject: I am sorry you feel that way

Renee,

Clearly, it was too much to hope that you could look past your perpetual disapproval of me to actually be happy that something so wonderful has happened. Yes, we will be separated for a few months, but I would rather be Edward's wife on another continent than in the same room with anyone else. Edward is touring with a successful local band, which is quite an outstanding accomplishment, and I am very proud of him. He is my husband, I love him, and I made a decision that makes me happy. If you feel that you cannot be accepting and supportive of us, then I will be forced to terminate contact with you.

Please give Phil my best wishes.

Bella Swan

To: Isabella Swan

From: Phillip Dyer

Subject: Your news

Bella,

I saw your email about you and Edward. I'm afraid your mom is not particularly happy about it. I want you to know that no matter what your mother thinks, I am happy for you. You both seemed like real nice kids, and it looked to me like he really loved you a lot. I'm sorry your mom isn't on board. Let me know if you guys have a reception or anything-I would really like to try and come, even if your mom doesn't. Congratulations, kiddo. Tell Edward I said congrats to him, too.

Phil

To: Phillip Dwyer

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: re: Your news

Phil,

Thanks, that means a lot. I will pass your congratulations on to Edward. I've been through this with her a million times, so don't worry about me. It sucks, but I'll cope.

I'll be sure to pass the reception info on to you. We would love to have you there. Mom will be invited, too, if she can behave like an adult.

Bella

To: Isabella Swan

From: Charles Swan

Subject: re: Exciting news

Bella,

I was a little surprised at your news, but I guess you are an adult and you are old enough to make your own decisions. I hope you are happy and that Edward takes good care of you.

Love,

Dad

To: Isabella Swan

From: Alec Thomas

Subject: Stop pouting

Bella,

I get it, your pretty man has gone home and you are all sad, but you can't keep doing this. I should not have to email you to get you to talk to me. Pretty would not want you to mope around like this. Come out of your room and see the real people, and I don't just mean going to class. Those are professors, not real people. A bunch of us are going out tonight, and you are coming with us. Don't make me call Pretty and tell on you. He might have to spank you, and I am the only one who gets to do that.

-Alec

To: Alec Thomas

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: re: Stop pouting

I am not pouting, Alec. I am choosing to spend my time more productively at the moment.

To: Isabella Swan

From: Alec Thomas

Subject: re: Stop pouting

Is "choosing to spend my time more productively" code for "having lots of skype sex with my new husband?" Because if it is, hurrah for both of you. Feel free to tell me to bugger off.

To: Alec Thomas

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: re: Stop pouting

First of all, it is absolutely none of your business what I do, or do not do, with my free time.

Secondly, bugger off.

To: Edward Cullen

From: Alec Thomas

Subject: re: Stop pouting

B,

I'm so proud. My little Belly-baby is all grown up.

-Alec

To: Alec Thomas

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: A favor

Alec,

The day after tomorrow will be two weeks since Bella and I got married. I'd like to do something special for her. I need some help since I'm not there. Would you be willing to help?

-Edward

To: Edward Cullen

From: Alec Thomas

Subject: re: A favor

Ed,

I would be delighted to assist! What do you have in mind?

Edward, it may not be any of my business, but I have been a little concerned about Bella. She seems sad. She hasn't been interested in doing much outside of class, and even though she comes to class, she hadn't been her usual perky little self. I asked her if she was all right and she blew me off, but I think I know our little Bellsy enough to say with confidence that she is having a hard time. Anything I can do to help bring back her sparkle would be my pleasure.

-Alec

To: Alec Thomas

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: re: A favor

Al,

I was afraid of that. We've talked almost every day since I left, and I thought she seemed a little off. I wasn't sure if it was just the distance or video chat weirdness though, and I didn't want to ask in case it was nothing. We're both having a hard time being separated, and I suspected she didn't want to let on how much she was hurting. I'll talk to her.

I appreciate your help. I thought maybe dinner and a play or movie or something? The band and I recorded a song for her, and I was planning on recording a message for her as well. I can email them to you if you think you could you find a way to play them for her. I don't mind if other people hear the song, but the message will probably be pretty private. I'll of course pay for all your expenses.

-Edward

P.S. Don't call me Ed.

To: Edward Cullen

From: Alec Thomas

Subject: re: A favor

Eddie,

I know just the place. Send me the files and I will take care of everything.

-Alec

P.S. Alec is an intelligent, fabulous individual who is always impeccably dressed. Al is a trucker with a beer gut and a stained shirt. You would do well to remember the distinction.

To: Isabella Swan

From: Alec Thomas

Subject: Friday

Belly,

Friday night, seven o'clock. You, me, and a magnificent evening. I will of course look beautiful. I expect no less from you. Should you choose to defy these instructions I will be forced to sic Jane on you.

Alec

To: Alec Thomas

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: re: Friday

A-

I've been the recipient of Jane's wrath before. I don't relish the idea of experiencing it again. I'll be ready and as close to beautiful as I can manage.

-B

To: Isabella Swan

From: Alec Thomas

Subject: re: Friday

Bella,

If you are as close to beautiful as you can manage, I will be forced to deflect the attentions of every man and modeling scout we encounter. Perhaps I should make a sign announcing your marital status.

-Alec

To: Edward Cullen

From: Alec Thomas

Subject: All is prepared

Edward,

All is prepared for Friday night, and I have convinced our little flower to join me for the evening. I will do my very best to convey your affection in my limited way.

-Alec

To: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: I can't believe the two of you

You are too much. I had no idea you and Alec were in cahoots when he started harassing me about going out on Friday night. Besides not actually being with my husband on our anniversary - Weekiversary? Diseptemversary? Since "anni" means "year", anniversary isn't really right for a two week celebration...but whatever...it was the best two-week celebration I could have imagined. He took me to dinner and to see _Promises Promises_. Afterward we went to a little cafe for coffee, where the fool got up on stage in front of everyone and made this big production about how he had a special anniversary message from my husband. He acted like he was going to sing until your song started to play over the sound system. It was a good thing, because even though Alec is a pretty good singer, being serenaded by a gay man on my anniversary is not exactly my dream come true.

The song was so beautiful, baby, and your message when I got home made me cry. I've been listening to both again and again ever since last night. I love hearing your sweet voice in my ear before I go to sleep. I prefer the real thing, but recordings work in a pinch.

I realized that I never actually heard you play with the band, and it had been forever since I'd heard you play anything at all. That will be one more thing for me to look forward to when I get to come home. Hopefully the timing of the tour will work out so that I can hear at least a few shows before you guys are done. I really love the idea of traveling around with you, hearing you play night after night, and then, of course, getting to go home with the hot pianist. I could be your very own groupie.

Do you guys have groupies? Are there girls in the audience throwing their bras at you, or is that a rock band only phenomenon? Don't misunderstand me-I trust you-I am not worried at all. I will confess, though, that it is a little weird to think about strange girls throwing themselves at you. It is even stranger to think of them throwing their underwear.

Thank you so much for everything last night, Edward. I love you. I miss you.

Love always,

Bella

To: Isabella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: Believe it

My love,

I hated the idea of you being alone on our disemtemversary-I love the way your mind works-so I talked to Alec and arranged for him to take you out. I don't know if I would call it being in cahoots, but I suppose that description works as well as any. I've been worried about you, Bella. Alec said you have been down. I miss you, and I know you miss me, but I hate the idea of you being there alone and miserable. I know you have been trying to look happy when we talk, and I appreciate the effort, but you don't ever have to act around me. I want you to be real with me, baby. Marriage is difficult enough under perfect circumstances, and the way things are right now it's going to be even harder. We have to communicate if we are going to get through the next few months. If you are sad, or lonely, or elated, or angry, or any other emotion you can name, I want to know about it. I love_ you_, not some fake version of yourself you put on.

If you want, I'll record a message for you every day, and email it to you so that you can listen to it before you go to sleep. That might be kind of nice, actually. Maybe you could do the same? The time difference makes it impossible for us to say goodnight in real time, this way we could do it anyway.

I hadn't thought about it before, but I guess you didn't ever hear me play with the band, did you? I am so happy you liked the song. Garret wrote it and I think of you every time we play it. Since it reminds me of you, I got the guys to record it for our twoweekiversary. I'm sorry the recording is a little rough. It's not on the album, and since we were on the road it was recorded under less than ideal conditions. We should have at least a few days of touring left after you come home, particularly if things keep going as well as they have so far. Garrett is talking about tagging on a few additional weeks if we can. I love the idea of you being with me. No one has thrown any undergarments at us on stage yet, but there are usually a few overly eager females hanging around. Most of the guys have girlfriends, though, and Kate-Garrett's wife-does a pretty good job of playing mama bear to all of us, so she keeps the vultures away from the guys who don't want to deal with them. Makenna gets her share of attention from guys at the shows, but she handles herself pretty well.

I can't wait to see my own personal wife/groupie sitting in the audience. I don't think I want you to throw your underwear at me though, at least not in public.

I love you,

Edward

To: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: Sigh

I confess, I have not been doing so well. We'd been apart for so long before you came, and I was fine then, so I didn't realize how hard it would be to be separated from you again. I'm sad, and I can't seem to generate much interest in doing much of anything. I've been going to class, and I'm not depressed exactly, I just don't really want to do any of the stuff I used to do, so I stay in my room a lot. Going out to bars or hanging out watching movies doesn't appeal to me right now. Alec actually asked me about it a few days ago but I told him that I was staying in because you and I were having lots of skype sex. Well, I didn't exactly tell him, it was more implied, but that's what he thinks.

I didn't intend to mislead you. I just didn't want to upset you. Things are the way they are, and there isn't anything either of us can do about it, so I didn't think it would make things any better to whine about it when we actually get to talk, you know what I mean?

I love you. I miss you so much it physically hurts sometimes. But I'm managing, and I have faith that we'll make it.

Love,

Bella

To: Isabella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: re: Sigh

Baby,

I know you weren't trying to lie to me, and I understand why you would hide those feelings. No one understands better than me how frustrating it is to be away from someone you love when they are hurting, and I love you for trying to protect me.

I understand the change in interests, too. Both our lives changed a lot in a very short period of time, but our day-to-day routines didn't, and it's a lot to deal with. It's kind of confusing I guess. We should be on our honeymoon right now, on a beach somewhere rubbing sunscreen on one another, and instead we are thousands of miles apart trying to have a marriage over the internet.

Speaking of which, you didn't fool Alec with the skype sex thing. If you ever want to though, I would be amenable to making that a reality. I think you may have even hurt his feelings a little bit.

I love you, and I am waiting for the day I can touch you again.

Love,

Your husband.

To: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: re: Sigh

Oh Edward, I would love to be on a beach with you, lying in the sun. Instead, we're in two of the least sunny places on Earth. Once all this craziness is over, can we do that?

To: Isabella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: re: Sigh

Baby, as soon as it is possible, I promise to take you to the most beautiful beach we can find, and we'll stay there as long as you want. You start bikini shopping. I'll start imagining you in said bikini.

In the meantime, go apologize to Alec.

Love you

To: Alec Thomas

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: Tattletale

So, you claim to be my friend, and you go behind my back and tell Edward that I've been moping in my room. I don't know whether I should kiss you or smack you on the head.

To: Isabella Swan

From: Alec Thomas

Subject: re: Tattletale

Belly,

Trust me, it was all in love. Sparkly happy Bella is much more fun than sad Bella.

-Alec

To: Alec Thomas

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: re: Tattletale

Love for whom exactly? Me or you?

To: Isabella Swan

From: Alec Thomas

Subject: re: Tattletale

Bella,

You wound me. Love for you, of course.

And a little bit for me.

And perhaps just a touch for that pretty, pretty husband of yours.

-Alec

To: Alec Thomas

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: re: Tattletale

Alec,

I suppose I can accept that. No smack for you this time-kisses it is.

-Bella

To: Isabella Swan

From: Alec Thomas

Subject: re: Tattletale

Bella,

Darling, we've been over this. While you are a lovely girl, you are missing essential ingredients. You are a married woman. I realize that I am irresistible, but I must insist that you stop this shameless flirting before it gets out of hand and I am forced to tell on you to the pretty man once again.

-Alec

To: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: Good news

Thought I would let you know Alec and I made up. In our own unique little way, of course.

To: Isabella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Good. If I can't be with you, I'm glad he can be there in my stead.

I love you,

Edward

Bella startled awake at the sound of her phone ringing. The number was unfamiliar, but it had a US country code. She looked over at her roommate, hoping the sound had not disturbed her, and saw that she had stirred, but then Jane mumbled something incomprehensible, rolled over and went back to sleep. Bella hesitated for a moment, but as the ring screamed out again in the silence, she pressed the button to receive the call.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" Her heartbeat accelerated at the voice on the line.

"Jasper?"

"Bella, don't freak out." Jasper was using his calmest voice, which immediately increased Bella's sense of panic.

"Jasper, tell me what's going on. Is it Edward? Did something happen to him?" She choked back a hysterical sob at the thought. _Oh God, please don't let it be Edward. Please God, please._

She was so absorbed with her frantic prayers that she missed Jasper's reply, and only regained focus when she heard her name again.

"Bella? Bella, calm down. Did you hear me, Bella? Edward's fine. Do you hear me? Edward's fine. Nothing is wrong with him."

"What the _fuck_, Jasper? You call me in the middle of the night, you scare me half to death... what is going on?" Jane awoke at Bella's raised voice and lay on her bed with her head propped up on her hand, watching Bella with concern.

"Bella, calm down. I called because...well, I thought you'd want to know, and I forgot about the time difference thing. Bella, the hospital in Forks called. They've admitted Charlie."

"Oh, God. What happened? He wasn't...he didn't get shot or anything did he?" At hearing these words, Jane threw off her blankets and crossed the room. She sat on Bella's bed and laid a hand on her back, rubbing gently.

"No, nothing like that. He collapsed at the station. They called an ambulance to take him to the ER, but by the time the paramedics got there he was unconscious."

"Oh my God."

"They've admitted him to the hospital. Bella, sweetie, he's still out. They are running tests to see what's wrong but...well, right now they don't know if he is going to wake up."

"Oh my God." Bella was fighting to control her breathing.

"Bella, are you all right?"

Bella nodded and fought down her emotions. "Jane's here. I'll be fine." She stopped and took a shaky breath. "What should I do?"

"It's up to you, Bella, but I think...well, Alice and I are going to Forks."

They were both silent for a few minutes before she heard him speak again. "Bella, are you still there?"

"Yeah. I'll...I'll let you know."

"I love you, baby sister."

Bella sniffed and then took a deep breath. "Me, too."

Jasper didn't say goodbye. Bella heard a soft pop on the phone indicated the call had ended. She sat, staring at the phone, but she didn't feel the device in her hand. She didn't feel Jane's hand on her back. She was vaguely aware of a voice in the room, but it was muffled and far away. She didn't realize when Jane ran out of the room, or when she returned, bursting through the door with a big blond man in tow. She barely felt him come to the bed and wrap her in his embrace. She submitted easily when he laid her on the bed and encased her in his body. Her only awareness was of the sudden, completely unexpected tidal wave of pain crashing over her. She gasped, then gasped again and again, each breath completely overcome by a sob. They came fast and hard, one on top of the other until she was fighting to breathe and gave herself over to the grief. She lay on the bed and cried, oblivious to Alec's soft words and gentle caresses while Jane sat and watched, helpless and bewildered, from across the room.

To: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject:

I'm coming home.

A/N Thanks so much for all of the adds and reviews, every notification email makes me happy. I appreciate all of your support!

We are heading toward the end of this little story, and I have been pondering writing some outtakes – if there is anything you would like to see, let me know in a review or PM and I will do my best to accommodate your wishes!


	13. Chapter 13

All recognizable characters, settings, settings, etc are the property of their original creators. No copyright infringement is intended.

Trigger warning on this chapter.

Thanks to Grey Paige for her help with this chapter, and for being wonderful!

The plane was still circling. It felt like it had been circling for hours, although in reality Bella knew it had probably only been a few minutes. She could see the lights of the airport through the windows of the puddle jumper, but she found she could not stand to look at them for long. The flight had been rough. Exhaustion and emotion had amplified her natural tendency toward motion sickness, and she was miserable. Looking out of the window only made it worse. She took a deep breath and fought down the nausea, saying a frantic silent prayer that the plane would land soon.

"Are you alright?" The woman in the seat across the aisle touched her sleeve gently. Bella opened her eyes and nodded, afraid to open her mouth.

"Oh, dear, you aren't, are you? You're looking a little green." She rummaged in a bag for a moment and extracted a small brown bottle. She removed the cap and extended it towards Bella.

"Smell it, dear. It helps, I promise."

She took a tentative sniff. It didn't smell terrible, so she held the bottle closer to her nose and inhaled more deeply. To her surprise, the sick feeling that had been rolling around in her stomach abated immediately. She didn't feel great, but she was no longer afraid to open her mouth.

"Thanks." She extended the bottle back to its owner.

"No dear, you hang on to that for the time being, you look as if you need it," she said with a gentle smile.

Bella inhaled again and the ill feeling retreated even further. It smelled good, and vaguely familiar. She sniffed again. It reminded her of Edward's house at Christmas.

"What is it?"

"It's ginger oil, dear. Helps with nausea. There are very few things in life as miserable as being sick on a plane, and this doesn't make one sleepy like those nasty drugs. This was a particularly unpleasant flight, wasn't it?"

Bella nodded again. The woman once again began rifling through her bag.

"Are you feeling better now, dear?"

"Yes, much, thank you." This time the woman accepted the bottle back when Bella offered it, but she placed a small package in Bella's hand before she could withdraw it. She looked down and saw a miniature Hershey bar.

"My other secret weapon, dear. Eat it slowly; let it melt in your mouth. That's a good girl."

Bella broke off a small piece and placed in on her tongue as instructed. The flavor filled her mouth and she immediately felt the last remnants of her airsickness wash away. She sighed.

"It's amazing stuff, isn't it? A little sugar, a little fat, a couple of magic chemicals; makes everything better."

Bella swallowed the candy before she smiled a the woman and asked, "What kind of magic chemicals?"

"There are two major ones. One is similar to caffeine, but gentler, and one is a chemical produced in the brain when we fall in love. That's why chocolate makes us feel good. Speaking of love, is that a wedding ring? It's very unusual."

Bella looked down at the heavy ring on her left hand and smiled down at it before turning back to the woman. "Yes, it is. It was an unusual wedding."

Bella found herself telling the woman the whole story- the blackout, Edward's proposal on her birthday, their fight over London, his unexpected visit and their impromptu wedding. By the end of the story the woman's eyes were as wide as her grin.

"That's quite a story. Where are you headed now? Is your program in London finished?"

"No," Bella sighed. "I got a call from my brother a couple of days ago; my dad is in the hospital. He thought I should come home."

"I'm so sorry dear. I hope all is well." She looked up as the pilot's voice came over the speaker. "Looks like we are ready to deplane, dear. It was nice meeting you. She leaned over the aisle and hugged Bella. "Blessings on you and your young man, dear." Before Bella could reply, she had picked up her bag and begun walking toward the now open door.

"Thanks for everything," Bella called after her. The woman turned and smiled at her just before ducking through the small door.

Bella picked up her own bag and moved towards the door of the mostly-empty plane. She exited the door and descended the stairs. She shivered as she crossed the wet tarmac, stumbling and slipping on an invisible patch of ice. Now that she was almost at the end of her journey her exhaustion was overwhelming. She concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other as she walked through the small building towards baggage claim. She didn't see her sister-in-law until she felt warm arms encircle her.

"Bella, you look terrible," Alice said, hugging her tightly.

Bella chuckled. "Thanks."

"You aren't offended, you know what I mean." She pulled back and examined Bella's face. "How long has it been since you slept?"

"I don't know. A long time."

Alice took Bella's bag and slung it over her shoulder. "Jasper's with the car so we don't get towed. Let's go get your suitcase." She held Bella's hand and pulled her to the carousel where luggage was beginning to topple out of a window onto the moving belt beneath. "Which one is yours?"

Bella pointed out a red case that had just fallen from the window, and the two women waited for it to move closer to their location. While they waited, Alice let go of Bella's hand and slid an arm around her waist. "Welcome home, Bella."

"Thanks."

Together they wrestled the case off the carousel and headed towards the glass doors in the front of the building. Through them Bella could see her brother leaning against his car. When he spotted them he moved to pull the doors open, and Bella found herself in his embrace as soon as she passed through them back into the cold. He held her tightly for a long time, and when he let her go Bella realized that Alice had put her bags in the trunk and was in the driver's seat. Jasper opened the back door for her, and then surprised her by getting in on the other side. He smiled at her confusion.

"I know how much you hate to fly. We thought maybe you'd like some company on the way home." As they pulled away from the curb, he tugged her into his side and wrapped his arms around her once again. She was asleep before they left the parking lot.

She awoke slowly to the sensation of being lifted. Jasper was picking her up out of the backseat, whispering to Alice about her suitcases. She shook her head sleepily and pushed at Jasper.

"I can walk, you don't have to carry me." She looked around and blinked hard, trying to clear the fog from her mind. "Where are we?"

Alice laughed quietly. "You really are out of it. We're at Edward's parents' house. We were going to stay at Charlie's but..." she trailed off into uncomfortable silence.

"Esme called me when she heard about dad and offered. Neither of us wanted to stay at his house if we didn't have to. We figured you wouldn't be thrilled about the idea either. Esme thought we would be more comfortable here, and she was right."

"What about...I thought we were going to the hospital?"

"It's too late to visit right now. We'll go in the morning."

As Jasper was finishing his sentence the front door opened and Esme emerged with Carlisle behind her. They crossed the driveway quickly and Esme wrapped her arms around Bella while Carlisle took the bags from Alice.

"Sweetheart." Esme's whispered greeting, her familiar scent, and her soft arms felt to Bella like coming home. She clung to her new mother-in-law until she heard Esme's voice again.

"Come in out of the cold. You must be tired and hungry." Bella nodded and allowed herself to be led inside the house.

The late dinner was simple, potato soup and baked chicken with homemade rolls. It was warm and filling, and Bella found herself nodding off halfway trough the meal.

"Sweetheart, you are dead on your feet. Would you like to go on to bed?" Bella accepted the offer gladly and trailed after Esme up the stairs.

"Alice and Jasper are in your usual room, so we thought we would put you in Edward's old bedroom, if that's alright?"

"That's fine," Bella replied, smiling at the memory of the last time she'd been in Edward's old bed and the mental picture of Edward in his too-small pajamas. She followed Esme into the room and saw that her suitcase was already there, lying on top of the low dresser. She turned as Esme emerged from the attached bathroom.

"There are clean towels and toiletries, but please feel free to ask if you need anything."

"Esme, thank you so much for...well, for everything." Bella gave the other woman a shaky smile.

"Darling, it's the least we can do for our daughter." Esme punctuated the statement by wrapping Bella up in her embrace once again. "We are so thrilled to have you here, and so, so happy you are really our daughter, finally. I wish it were under better circumstances, but please understand that we love you and you are always welcome here, with or without Edward."

"Thanks. I'm happy to be here." Bella squeezed Esme and pulled away. Both women laughed and wiped their eyes. "I'm glad to be your daughter too."

"We'll talk in the morning, alright? Get some sleep." Esme kissed Bella on the forehead and left the room, closing the door behind her. Bella managed to strip down to a camisole and underwear before she fell into bed.

Some time later she was startled awake when she felt the bed move. She was frightened until she felt a familiar arm slide over her waist.

"Edward?" She turned her head to see the face of her husband inches away.

"Shh, baby, it's me. Go back to sleep." He pulled her back tightly against his body and kissed her shoulder, then burrowed his face into her hair. She felt him inhale deeply. She turned over and wrapped her arms around him, snuggling herself as close to him as she could, her face against his chest.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was muffled against his skin.

"What?" She felt the vibration of his chuckle through her whole body.

She pulled back far enough to be able to see his face in the dim room. She reached up and traced his features with her fingertips, as if to reassure herself that he was real.

"How are you here?"

"I drove, love." He smiled at her softly.

"No silly, why? Aren't you supposed to be off with the band somewhere? Not that I'm complaining," she added, pressing herself against him and wrapping her arm back around his torso. She rubbed the skin of his back idly as he answered.

"Bella, baby, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. We were playing in Tacoma tonight, and we were in Seattle last night, so I had my car. I knew you were going to be staying here, so I left after the show and drove."

"What time is it?"

"It's about four am, I think. The show ended about midnight."

"You drove from Seattle to Forks in the middle of the night? Aren't you exhausted?"

"I needed you way more than I needed sleep."

She reached up to stroke the skin of his cheek. She could feel his smile.

"You're really here."

"I'm really here."

He looked down at her another moment, and then lowered his mouth to hers. She lost herself in his lips and body against hers, sleep entirely forgotten.

****r~d****

Edward entered the room after taking a shower the next morning to find his wife sitting up in bed laughing.

"What's so funny, baby?"

"I was just thinking - we seem to specialize in uncomfortable beds. You think we'll ever get to make love in anything bigger than a twin?"

"Nah, I was thinking we should go smaller. Maybe one of those rollaway beds like they have in hotel rooms or an army cot."

"We could just get a yoga mat. Cheaper than a bed anyway."

"You calling me cheap, woman?" Edward poked at her side and she giggled, twisting away from him.

"If the cheap shoe fits poorly, buy it. With a coupon, of course." She stuck her tongue out at him and he began tickling her in earnest. She writhed and shrieked and tried desperately to escape his torturous fingers, but he pinned her to the bed and continued tickling until she was screaming with laughter and tears were streaming down her face. He pulled back and hovered over her, his face inches from hers.

"Do you take it back?" he asked, his fingers wiggling next to her ribs.

"Hmmm...maybe..." She squirmed as he again began poking at her sides and gasped out "yes, yes, I take it back!" He smiled at her before he spoke.

"Good, because I have been doing a little thinking of my own." His fingers widened to surround her ribcage.

"Really, what were you thinking?" She gasped as his hands began to move.

"That I haven't seen my wife in three weeks, and I'm probably going to need another shower," he said before lowering his body onto hers.

They descended the stairs sometime later, and were greeted with whistles, catcalls, and applause from the family gathered in the kitchen. Bella blushed and hid her face in Edward's shoulder, but Edward just grinned at the attention.

"What?" he asked innocently. "We were tired. I didn't get here until four am, after all."

"Yeah, I'm sure _sleep_ is what occupied you two half the morning." Alice grinned gleefully at them, along with the rest of the family, as they sat and began eating breakfast.

****r~d****

All would have been silent if not for the beeping of the heart monitor and the ambient noise of the hospital outside the oppressive white box of the room. The cheap cushions on the bench seat where Bella sat did little to add comfort to the hard plastic. She watched her father. Given his current state, there was surprisingly little machinery attached to him. A gray clip pinched the end of his index finger to monitor his heart rate and blood oxygen levels. A clear tube ran under his nose to aid his breathing. Although she couldn't see it, she knew there was a catheter emerging from the blanket on the other side of the bed, attached to a bag she preferred not to think about. She stared at him, mentally cataloguing the changes. He had seemed smaller the last time she had seen him in the waiting room of this same hospital, but now it was apparent that he had lost a significant amount of weight. His skin was sallow and hung loosely from the bones of his face. Apart from the shallow rise and fall of his chest, he was abnormally still.

He wasn't entirely unconscious anymore; he had roused partially several times since his admittance days earlier. Malnutrition and dehydration had caused his collapse at work, and thanks to the ministrations of the medical staff at the hospital those had been alleviated. The real problem was not going to be so simple to deal with.

"Advanced cirrhosis of the liver", the kind-eyed doctor had told her and Jasper that morning, "most likely caused by alcohol abuse, complicated by poor diet and self-care." He theorized that Charlie had felt ill for some time and that the nausea and lack of appetite symptomatic of the disease, combined with his penchant for drinking himself into a stupor every night after work, had caused the dehydration and malnutrition. If the condition had been diagnosed at an earlier stage the possibilities for treatment would be better. The doctor, not much older than Bella and Jasper, had trailed off in his explanation and looked at the two of them. "I'm so sorry," he'd said, then shook both of their hands and turned to walk away down the hallway.

Jasper didn't see the point in staying. He said that Charlie probably wasn't cognizant of anyone's presence in the room in his current state and he refused to sit in a room with someone whom he didn't want to be around even when he was conscious. Edward had stayed home to sleep in preparation for the drive back to Seattle that night. The band had one last performance before they took a week off for Christmas.

After Edward explained the tour itinerary, Bella had been impressed with how well everything was planned. They spent the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas traveling south down I-5 from Vancouver so that they were back home in time to take time off for the holiday. After playing a New Year's Eve show in Tacoma they would resume their trek southward, all the way down the coast of California to San Diego and across Arizona to Phoenix. After Phoenix they would head north again, farther inland this time, until they returned to Washington in June. It was a long trip, and Bella's heart ached to travel it with him.

The door opened, catching her attention. A nurse came in and smiled at Bella as she checked Charlie's vitals. Bella chuckled at the printed characters on the woman's scrubs.

"He hates Spongebob. If he were awake he would probably be grumbling about it."

"Is that true Charlie? How about you open those eyes and tell me so yourself?" Her voice was low, smooth and dark, like good coffee. She looked over at Bella, her face serious but kind.

"Are you his daughter?"

Bella stood and extended her hand, nodding at the woman's question. "My name is Bella."

"I'm Sue Clearwater. I'm sorry about your dad."

"Thanks."

"It's good of you to sit with him. It always makes me sad when patients are here all alone for days on end." She crossed the room and opened a narrow door. She indicated its contents to Bella before she spoke again.

"There are blankets and pillows in here if you want them. Those window seats aren't very comfortable."

"Yeah, it kind of sucks. But I'm not staying much longer. I'm leaving in a little while to go to Seattle with my boy-" she paused before correcting herself. "With my husband."

Sue smiled gently. "New title?"

Bella nodded, her cheeks reddening.

"You're awful young. How long you been married?"

"Almost a month." Bella twisted the heavy ring on her left hand.

"Was your Daddy able to give you away?" Sue looked down at the man on the bed and adjusted the sensor on his index finger.

"No, I was in London. It was sort of unexpected."

"London hunh? Sounds romantic. I bet he was sorry he missed it."

Bella shrugged in response, blinking hard to restrain the tears she felt pricking her eyes.

Sue cleared her throat. "Well, honey, I'll be here until midnight, if you need anything, just call, okay?" She laid a hand on Bella's shoulder and squeezed gently. The gesture was surprisingly reassuring, and Bella smiled a goodbye at the kind woman as she left the room. The door clicked quietly as it closed behind her. Bella contemplated her father for a long moment, before she began to speak in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Were you dad? Were you sorry you missed it?" The only reply was the silence of the room, and the shallow rise and fall of her father's chest.

"Are you sorry about anything? Any of it?" Bella swiped an impatient hand across the moisture on her face as her voice began to rise. "Are you sorry you drank yourself into a hospital bed? Are you sorry about all the yelling, or all the hateful things you said to me? Are you sorry about the bruises? Were you ever sorry that you made your children despise you?"

There was no response, not even the flicker of an eyelid or the twitch of a finger.

"I feel sorry for you. You're going to die alone and miserable, and no one will miss you. You will never get to know your grandchildren. You'll never get the chance to make anything right. You were never happy, and now you'll never get the chance to be."

"I'm tired of you, dad. I'm tired of hearing your voice in my head telling me how I'm not good enough. I'm tired of being afraid all the time that maybe you were right, and I really am just a useless piece of shit. I'm tired of hiding and running away. I'm tired of being broken."

"You were wrong. I'm not stupid. I'm not ugly. I'm not a waste of oxygen or space. I'm smart, and funny, and quirky, and even if I don't know yet what it is, someday I am going to do something really well. And you know what, dad, it doesn't matter what that something is. Maybe I'll be a professor, or a writer, or maybe I'll just carry the speakers for Edward's band, but it doesn't matter because I will be doing what makes me happy. Me. Not you, not mom, not Jasper, not even Edward. Me, your daughter who was never good enough, because I am tired of not being good enough.

"You know the worst part? You're my father. You were supposed to be the person who protected me, not the person I needed protection from, and neither of us can ever go back and fix it. You can't go back and be a good father, and I can't go back and stand up to you and tell you how wrong you were to say and do those things to your daughter."

"Most of all, I'm tired of being angry with you. I have my own life to lead, and my own baggage to deal with; I can't keep carrying yours around too. So I'm done. It's over, dad. I refuse to be angry with you any more. I refuse to listen to your lies playing in my head. I forgive you. I am choosing not to let you hurt me any more. If you ever decide you want to be a real father, and you want your daughter back, let me know."

She gazed down though blurred, burning eyes at the fragile man covered in a white blanket in the narrow bed. He hadn't moved through her tirade. His chest rose and fell in the same rhythm. The heart monitor beeped quietly in an unchanging pace. His face remained still.

"Goodbye, dad." She picked up her bag, turned away from the bed, and walked out of the door.

****r~d****

"You alright?" Edward reached over the console between them to lay his hand on Bella's thigh. He squeezed and she covered his hand in hers. He flipped his over so that they could weave their fingers together.

"Why do you ask?"

"You're awfully quiet."

"Tired I guess. Jetlagged. A little overwrought." She turned to smile at him. "I'm happy to be going with you tonight though. I'm actually so excited I might explode into a thousand little happy Bella pieces."

"Please don't. I would prefer one intact Bella; it would be hard to take a thousand pieces home after the show. And I _am_ taking you home after the show." He smirked at her, and she grinned back.

"I hadn't thought about that! Back home home? Our apartment home?"

"Yep. I thought you might rather stay there tonight instead of driving back to Forks in the middle of the night. Plus, there are bonuses to being back in our apartment - like privacy." He raised his eyebrows at her and smiled.

"And a king sized bed."

"That too." Edward released her hand and began to stroke the inside of her arm. "Why are you overwrought?" He laughed at Bella's sigh. "Did you really think I could be sidetracked that easily?"

"It was worth a try." She turned away to gaze out the window.

"Bella, we have," Edward paused and looked down at his phone, "two hours before we arrive in Seattle. I think I can get it out of you in that time. What's going on in your beautiful mind?"

"I guess...I sort of...had it out with my father today."

Edward looked at her quizzically. "Bella, did your father wake up? Jasper didn't say anything about that."

"No," Bella replied sheepishly. "He was unconscious."

A smile toyed at the corners of Edward's mouth. "You had it out with your father while he was in a coma?"

"He's not in a coma, really." She shrugged.

"Okay, you had it out with your father while he was in a not-really coma?"

Bella sighed. "I suppose you could say that."

Edward moved his hand to her knee and squeezed gently. "I think I'm going to need a little more information, baby."

Bella was quiet for a moment before she began speaking. "I was sitting there, watching him...well, I guess he's sleeping, sort of. Anyway, I was sitting there watching him and thinking about everything. You, me, London, my mom, all the stuff we fought about before I left, the way I was so unhappy all the time no matter what was going on...it was all on a continuous loop in my head. I thought about the last time I had seen Charlie, and the story your mom told me about her first husband, and what you told me about her parents and how they never forgave her for divorcing him. All of this crazy stuff kept circling around in my head, and I was trying to figure out what it all meant."

"I almost destroyed the best thing in my life, and if you had asked me why, I couldn't have explained it to you. I wasn't the first time I had pushed someone away and destroyed a relationship, but it was definitely the worst. I spent the whole time I was in London trying to convince myself that it was your fault. I tried so hard to be angry with you. I wouldn't talk to anyone about you. Alec knew there had been a guy, and he figured out I was hurting, but he didn't even know your name until the day you showed up. In the end, I couldn't be mad at you; I could only be mad at myself. I knew it was my fault, but I didn't understand why I did any of it. It was so frustrating. I felt completely stymied by my own thought processes. I would go out with people, or study more than I needed to, or try and work on my thesis to try and stop thinking about it - to stop thinking about you- but it never worked."

Edward moved his hand from her leg to the back of her neck. He stroked her hairline comfortingly, but did not speak. He waited silently for her to continue.

"I started drinking a lot after a while. It was all too much - moving, breaking up with you, trying to cope with everything - I didn't handle it well. I kept picturing my father sitting in front of his television, downing beer after beer until he was stone drunk." Bella laughed, a short, humorless bark. "When I was a kid I used to get so mad about all the money he spent on beer. I would ask for money to do whatever and he would lecture me about how money didn't grow on trees and we couldn't afford for me to have everything I wanted, but he never seemed to have any problem buying all that alcohol. I added it up once when I was about fifteen. I don't remember how much I came up with, but I know I was astonished at the amount." She looked down at her hands and realized that they were clenched tightly. She released them and laced her fingers together.

"Anyway, I thought about all that and I was scared. I was terrified that I was going to turn into him. I was terrified that I would turn into my mother, all bitter and hateful and judgmental. I was so scared of the future, and I was unhappy in the present, and I felt like my past was stalking me. It sucked."

He ran his fingers down her neck to her shoulder and squeezed the muscle there gently. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry I couldn't be there to help you."

She reached up, took his hand, and brought it down to her lap. "I had a lot of time to think while I was in London, particularly after I stopped going out drinking. My head was an ugly place to be. But I kind of figured some stuff out, which in part resulted in me writing that letter. I wasn't brave enough to send it, though."

"God bless Jane." Edward smiled over at her.

"Indeed. She might have been a bear to live with, but I will always be thankful she mailed that letter." Bella brought his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles before dropping it back into her lap.

"Me too." He paused momentarily. "Bella, I'm glad you're telling me all this, and I will listen as long as you need to talk, but you still haven't told me what happened with your father in the hospital."

"I'm getting there, I promise."

"Okay, take as much time as you need."

"While I was sitting in that hospital room, everything just seemed to pour down on me all at once. I was trying to sort through all of my thoughts when a nurse came in to check on Charlie. She was nice; we made small talk, and she asked about the wedding. Specifically, she asked if he had been there to give me away. When I told her no, she said she thought he was sorry he missed it. When she said that something in my mind sort of...snapped, I guess. I don't know if Charlie has ever been sorry for anything, but he certainly never said he was. I wondered if he was sorry he missed my wedding, and then I wondered if he was sorry for anything at all. If he was, he certainly never mentioned it."

Edward squeezed her thigh when she fell silent. "Bella, I...I don't want to be nosy, and I don't want you to feel pressured, but...well, you've referenced things that happened with your father in the past, and I don't know what you're talking about. If you aren't comfortable sharing, then you don't have to. But if you want to talk about it, I'm willing to listen."

Bella was quiet for so long that Edward began to wonder if he had made a mistake by asking. He was about to apologize when she asked in a small voice, "are you sure?"

"Yes." His answer was low but firm.

"There are things...once you know, you can't un-know."

"Baby, you don't have to carry everything all by yourself."

"All right." Bella took a deep breath. "Charlie drank a lot, you know that. He never let it interfere with his job as far as I know, but he would come home every day and drink until he was plastered. He's not such a bad guy when he's sober - I mean, he's not a sitcom dad or anything, but he's not horrible. I think he just doesn't know how to be a father. His parents died when he was a teenager, and even though he doesn't talk about it much, I know he bounced around a lot while he was in high school. He and Mom were really young when they got married. Their anniversary was in January and Jasper's birthday is in August. I never discussed it with either of them, but I can do math, and I've seen their wedding pictures. It was pretty obviously a rushed event. I think he found himself in a life he never planned for and he didn't know how to handle it."

"That makes sense."

"Renee's...difficult, as you know. They were both kind of trapped, I think, and they were both unhappy. Renee tried to compensate by being perfect, and Dad drank, I don't know, to forget, I guess?"

"He would lose control sometimes. He never really hit me, it was more sort of… accidental stuff...he would grab me, or shove me when he was mad. A couple of times he threw me against a wall. It wasn't all the time, I really was a clumsy kid, but it was enough."

Edward took a deep breath in an attempt to control the rage he felt building in his body. Coma be damned, he wanted to drive back to the hospital and administer some bruises himself. "What did your mother do?"

"She pretty much just looked the other way. Sometimes she would try to get him to stop, but usually it happened so fast there was nothing anyone could do. She told me it was my fault, that I made him mad and he couldn't help it. Lots of times it happened after I fought with her, so she was already mad at me anyway. She wouldn't ever say anything to anyone about it; that would mean admitting that she wasn't the best mother ever, and that we weren't the perfect little family she wanted people to think we were."

"Where was Jasper when all this was going on? I can't imagine him dealing with any of that very well."

"He didn't. He wasn't always around to see it happening, but when he did - it was awful, Edward. You know he had a really volatile temper - big shock, growing up with Charlie - and a few times I really thought he and dad were going to kill each other. I tried as much as I could to hide things from him. I didn't ever want him to know. I was so afraid that Charlie would throw him in jail if he went too far. He got the hell out of the house as soon as he graduated. He went halfway across the country. I don't blame him."

When he replied, Edward's voice was tense. "I am so, so sorry you had to deal with that. I wish I had known...I kind of suspected, but I never knew how bad it was. I don't know what I could have done, but I wish I could have done _something_."

"You did do something. You were my friend. You and your parents gave me a safe place to go. You have no idea how much that meant - how much it still means. But Edward, the physical stuff wasn't all. It gets worse."

"There's more? What could be worse than hitting your kid?"

"Yeah, there's more. You're already upset, baby. Are you sure you want to hear the rest?"

Edward sat and thought for a moment, his hand clenching on the steering wheel, before he answered.

"Yes. Tell me."

"Okay." Bella took a deep breath. "You know how I said Charlie didn't know how to be a father?" Edward nodded tightly. "Well, his idea of parenting was to criticize. He was always really disparaging about everything, and it got worse as I got older. According to him, my room was never clean enough, my grades were never good enough, and I didn't know my place. I wasn't a bad kid, but I was a kid, and he wasn't good at dealing with even normal behavior. The more I grew up, the less he could handle it. So he..." Bella trailed off.

Edward waited, giving her space to talk.

She finally continued in a tiny, hesitant voice. "He made fun of me. He would say really terrible things to me and about me to other people. He said-"

"Bella, stop." Edward took her hand and squeezed it tightly. "I get the idea."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything." Her gaze dropped to her lap, and she pulled her hand way from his, twisting her fingers together.

Neither spoke until Edward pulled the car into the parking lot of a gas station beside the highway a few minutes later. He placed his hand gently on Bella's cheek and turned her so he could look into her face.

"Bella, I'm glad you talked about it. I wanted you to talk about it. Please understand, I didn't stop you because I was upset at you. I stopped you because whatever it is he said doesn't need to be repeated any more. It's bad enough that he said it the first time. I stopped you because I didn't want _you_ to have to say it, or ever hear it again. It's over."

"That's what I told him." Bella's voice was quiet but steady.

"What?"

"That's what I told Charlie in the hospital room. I told him that it was over. I told him that I was tired of hearing his voice in my head all the time. I told him I was tired of being unhappy because of what he did. The I told him that I forgave him."

"You do? Bella, how..."

"I'm not saying what he did was okay, it wasn't. But it's not helping anyone for me to walk around all day being upset about it, or being mad at him. So I decided it was time to let it go."

"I don't want you to be around him if he if going to keep saying those things, Bella."

She reached the short distance to his face and smoothed the wrinkle that had formed on his forehead. "Don't worry. I don't want to be around him either. If he decides to change, then I will give him a second chance. If not, then we're done. Either way, I am finished letting him hurt me."

Edward looked at his wife with new admiration. He had always known she was strong, but this we beyond anything he had ever heard from her before. His heart swelled at her courage.

"I love you, baby. I'm really proud of you." He leaned over the console and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

"Thanks," she said, after he pulled away. "I'm kind of proud of myself, too. Now, don't we have a concert to get to?"

****r~d****

The car was quiet as they traveled back to their apartment after the show. The streets were mostly deserted, shining with reflected light from the streetlights on the pavement, wet from the December rain. Bella gazed out the windshield, her mind whirling with the events of the past twenty-four hours.

"You tired?" he asked, reaching over the console to take her hand.

She nodded but did not speak.

"I would be surprised if you weren't. It has been quite an eventful couple of days."

She nodded again.

"We'll be home soon. It will probably be cold though - I turned the heat off since I wasn't going to be there. But we have lots of blankets, and I'm pretty sure I can keep you warm."

"I know you can," she replied, a half smile on her face, "I've experienced it."

"Can you believe it's been almost a year since that storm?"

"Weird. Part of me feels like it's been much longer than that, but part of me feels like it all just happened. A lot has changed since then."

Edward parked the car and got out, circling around to open Bella's door before removing a bag from the trunk. They were only staying one night, and they both still had stuff in the apartment, so they had only brought a few necessities.

Bella paused in the hallway outside their apartment. . "The last time I was here both of us were pretty miserable." She took a breath before she continued. "I am really sorry I hurt you, Edward."

Edward dropped the suitcase on the floor and put a hand on each of her shoulders. He looked down at her face as he spoke. "I forgave you a long time ago, Bella. Stop beating yourself up about it. Everything is different now."

"I know, I just wanted to say it before we went in and I had to face all of the memories." She wrapped her arms around herself as if to ward off a chill.

"Come on, we'll make some new ones." He turned the key and they entered the dark apartment. It was indeed cold, and had the musty smell of a room too long shut up and unoccupied. He flipped the switch next to the front door to reveal the familiar room, covered in a fine layer of dust.

"It looks different," Bella observed, looking around. "What changed?"

Edward shrugged in response. "It's dusty."

"That's not it...oh." Bella closed her mouth tightly.

"What is it?"

"There aren't any pictures."

"Oh, yeah. That."

Once upon a time there had been lots of pictures of the two of them scattered around the room - one of them together at Jasper and Alice's wedding; a shot of them at Chuck E. Cheese with everyone on Bella's birthday; the two of them in college, Bella's tongue stuck out at him; their intertwined hands with Bella's engagement ring visible. Esme had even dug up a prom picture and framed it for them. They were all gone.

He came to her and slipped his arm around her waist. "I'm sorry, it was just too much to see them every day. I didn't burn them or anything; they're all in a drawer."

"It's fine. I understand. I probably would have done the same thing."

"Come here, I want to show you something." He took her hand and pulled her into his bedroom. He directed her to sit down on the bed and opened the top drawer of his nightstand. From its interior he extracted a frame and handed it to her.

The picture had been taken one Saturday morning in July on the way to the farmer's market. Bella had been grumbling about the early hour and he had been teasing and tickling her to try to lift her mood. In this shot, she was looking over her shoulder, laughing at something he'd said. He had snapped it with his phone, and then she had yelled at him for taking her picture when she wasn't wearing any makeup.

She traced the shape of her face, lightly touching the glass. "You kept this?"

He sat down next to her. "It's my favorite picture of you. You were so beautiful. We were so happy."

"I was a mess."

"I disagree, but even if you were, you were my mess. My beautiful, darling, amazing mess. Some nights when I missed you so much I...I would look at the picture and hope that, whatever you were doing, you were that happy."

Without a word, Bella laid the frame on the table.

"I'm that happy right now," she said, and then she pulled his mouth to hers and no more words were needed.

They slept in the next morning, both of them exhausted by the events of the past day and their late night reconnecting in Edward's big bed. Weak winter sunlight was streaming through Edward's windows when her growling stomach finally woke Bella up. She lay there gazing at her husband for a few minutes until he awoke as well.

"Hi."

"Hi." He grinned at her sleepily and his eyes drifted closed again.

"I've decided I am a fan of the big bed," she said with a smirk.

"Are you now?" he replied, his eyes still closed. "Why is that?"

"More room to stretch," she answered, matching her actions to her words.

Edward opened his eyes and admired her body as she stretched. "If that's the case, then I'm a fan as well." He reached over and began caressing her stomach, but halted when it rumbled loudly beneath his hand. They both laughed.

"I guess that's my cue to feed you, hunh?"

"It might be." She stood and began rifling through their suitcase for her clothes. She looked over her shoulder to see Edward ogling her backside.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer."

"Okay." Before she could react, he lifted his iphone from where it lay on his nightstand, and snapped a picture.

"Aaaaaah!" Bella screamed and clutched her shirt to her body, covering her bare body. "Edward! Delete that!" She scrambled toward him over the bed, but he ran away to the other side of the room.

"Nope. I think I'll make it my wallpaper."

"You better not! Gimme that phone!" He held it up over his head, and she smacked him on the shoulder.

"No way. You're the one who told me to take a picture." He smiled a mischievous half-smile and quirked an eyebrow at her.

"You're a pain in the ass, Edward Cullen!"

"What, this ass?" He reached around and pinched her. She squeaked in shock.

"You're in so much trouble, mister!"

"What? I couldn't resist. It's the most magnificent ass I've ever seen. In fact..." He trailed off as he lifted her and dropped her face down on the bed. She immediately attempted to get up, but he held her down with one hand and squeezed her right cheek with the other.

"Yep, best ass ever."

****r~d****

It was quite a bit later when Bella's growling stomach once again reminded them that it was past time for breakfast. Since Edward had been gone for several weeks there wasn't much food in the apartment, so they decided to stop on their way back to Forks.

"So, husband," Bella said between mouthfuls of pancakes, "would you like to tell me why your violinist was shooting me death glares all though your show last night?"

Edward choked, coughed, and frantically grabbed his water glass. He gulped down half the contents before he replied.

"You...she...what was that?"

"Your violinist. Pretty girl, red hair, long legs...Kate told me her name, it's something sort of odd..."

"Makenna."

"Yeah, that's it! She spent all night glaring at me like I'd just kicked her puppy. I asked Kate about it - she's great, by the way - and she changed the subject, so I figured something had to be up. So...what's going on?"

"Nothing's going on."

"Come on Edward, there has to be some reason she was eye-stabbing me all night. I'm not upset. I just want to know. Did I accidentally kick her puppy?"

"No, um...Makenna...well, she...she and I, we...we may have...datedalittlebit." Edward stumbled over the words, the end of the sentence coming out so fast as to be nearly incomprehensible.

"You what?"

"We dated. A little bit."

"Oh." Bella looked down at her plate and stabbed at a piece of pancake with her fork.

"It was while you were gone...baby, please understand, I was in a really bad place, and she liked me, and I thought that maybe if I started seeing someone else that I could stop hurting so much."

"I understand, Edward." Bella looked up into his eyes. "I get it. I told you to see other people; I guess I just never thought about you actually doing it. Well, not doing it, doing it...oh God, you didn't, did you?"

"No! No, Bella, no. It was nothing like that. We went out a few times. We saw movies and ate dinner together, or hung out with the rest of the band. I held her hand. We kissed a few times."

"Okay, okay, I don't need details."

Edward reached across the table and took Bella's hand in his, stilling her mutilation of the pancake left on her plate.

"Bella, at the first hint that you might want to see me I blew her off to fly halfway across the world to you. She's a nice girl, and I like her, but she's not you."

"I get it, Edward. I'm not upset, and I trust you. I just wasn't expecting that. She's clearly angry with me, and I've never even met her."

"She didn't take it well."

"_Edward! You're alive!" Garrett's loud greeting ruined Edward's plan to remain low profile. _

"_Yep, I'm alive." He dropped his bags next to the door of Garrett's garage and was crossing the large space to speak with the rest of the band when he was nearly knocked breathless by Makenna's sudden embrace. _

"_Edward!" Before he could react, she kissed him hard on the lips. "Where the hell have you been? I emailed, and called and called, but you never answered. I was so worried!" She hugged him tightly once again, and Edward saw the rest of the band members very deliberately looking anywhere but at the two of them. Edward inwardly squirmed. He extracted himself from her embrace and stepped back. Her face fell into a pout._

"_Makenna, we need to talk."_

"_Yeah, I got that from your very informative four-word email. We were supposed to go out, Edward! What's going on?"_

"_I'd rather talk in private." Edward looked over at Garrett. "Hey, is there somewhere we could go for a few minutes?"_

_Garrett raised his eyebrows and smirked. "Sure, you guys can go in the living room. Through that door, other side of the kitchen." He indicated the doorway into the house. "Don't be too long though, we need to be out of here soon and we still have to load up."_

"_No problem. Thanks." Makenna followed Edward into the house through the kitchen and into the living room. He waited until she sat down on the sofa before he spoke._

"_Makenna, I have to tell you something. Please just hear me out before you say anything, okay?"_

_A look of suspicion crossed her face, but she nodded and sat silently._

"_Before I met you there was a girl...her name is Bella. We grew up together, we were roommates after we finished undergrad, and last winter, we fell in love." Edward began to pace around the room as he continued. "I asked her to marry me and she said yes, but then she got the opportunity to study in London. Things got all messed up and she broke off the engagement. She went to London and I started recording with you guys. I was pretty heartbroken."_

"_I remember. You were mopey all the time."_

"_Right. Back before Thanksgiving, I was...moping, as you say, and Garrett suggested that I should try dating again to try and get over her. Kate told me you liked me."_

"_I did. I do."_

"_I know. So I took a chance and asked you out." He stopped walking and turned to face her. "Please understand, Makenna, I never meant to hurt you or cause any problems for you. I like you. You're a great girl. You're beautiful, and lots of fun, and any guy would be lucky to have you."_

_Her expression hardened and her eyes narrowed. "What are you trying to tell me, Edward?"_

_He turned away from her and again began circling the room. "The day I got back from visiting my parents there was a letter from Bella in my mailbox. She told me she missed me and that it had been a mistake for her to break up with me. So I went to London."_

"_You did what?" Makenna rose up from her seat and stood facing him, her arms crossed over her chest._

"_I went to London. I had to see if she meant it. I had to know of there was a chance for us."_

"_And what exactly did she say when you showed up on her doorstep? Did she try to get you to take her back?"_

_Edward sighed. "Please don't be angry, Kenna. I told you, I like you, but...I love her."_

"_So what happened, Edward?"_

_Edward stopped pacing but remained where he stood, his face turned away from her. "We got married."_

_In the dead silence that followed this information Edward turned to see that Makenna's eyes were wide and her mouth had dropped open. He dared hope for a moment that the worst was over._

_He was wrong._

"_YOU WHAT?" Edward cringed at the volume of Makenna's shriek, sure that not only the band on the garage but all of Garrett's neighbors had probably heard._

"_I went to London and while I was there we got married."_

_Makenna's voice dropped, but it's tone sent chills down Edward's spine. "So let me get this straight. You asked me out because you were on the rebound from some girl who dumped you, then after we'd been dating for a month you ditch me without so much as a text message to go running when you think this girl might want you back. You fly all the way to Europe to see her, you don't bother to tell anyone where you are, you ignore all my calls and emails so I worry myself to death, and then you MARRY HER?"_

"_Well, when you put it that way it sounds really bad, but yeah."_

"_So where is she, Edward? Is she coming with us? Were you planning on asking anyone if that was all right, or were you just going to show up and hope she could tag along? That's cozy - you, your girlfriend, and YOUR WIFE!"_

"_I'm sorry, Kenna, I didn't mean to hurt you, it happened really fast, and-"_

"_And you couldn't be bothered to send a text message? Hi Kenna, sorry we can't go to the movies, I'm busy flying to London to marry the girl who broke my heart! So sorry, sucks to be you!"_

_Edward's voice rose a bit. "Kenna, I said I'm sorry. Maybe I didn't handle everything perfectly, but there's no need to be rude."_

_Makenna laughed, a short, mirthless explosion of sound. "Rude? I guess you would know rude since it seems you invented the concept. Was that before or after you crowned yourself king of the dickheads?" With those words, she turned and left the room. Edward heard the door to the garage slam behind her. He leaned his forehead against the wall and groaned._

"_You alright?" He heard Garrett's voice in the room behind him and stood up._

"_That didn't go well."_

"_So we heard." Garrett chuckled. "You got married, hunh? Makenna filled us in on the married part. Also on the asshole part, but that might have been an exaggeration."_

"_Not really. I should have handled this differently."_

"_Oh well, live and learn, right? If nothing else, you'll have lots of time to think about it while you're shut up in a van with her for the next four hours or so."_

"_Shit." Edward leaned forward and banged his forehead on the wall._

"_Come on, Romeo, let's get loaded up." Garrett clapped Edward on the shoulder. "The sooner we get started, the sooner you can lock yourself in your room away from her." _

"Didn't take it well?"

"I should have done things differently. Obviously I don't regret going to London or marrying you, but I hate that she got hurt in the process. I should have called her before I left, or at least sent a text message so she wouldn't worry."

"What was that you told me last night about beating myself up over stuff in the past?"

Edward's face twisted. "I know, I just hate the way things turned out, and I really hate that you have to deal with the consequences of my stupid decisions."

"It will be okay. I can handle a little eye-stabbing in the name of love." Bella grinned across the table at him. "Any other girls I should know about?"

"Well, I have another wife and six kids in Utah. That's not a problem, is it?"

"Is she smarter than me?"

"No way. She's never even heard of Shakespeare."

"Well then, that's no problem."

"You finished making minced pancakes?"

Bella looked down at her plate at the completely destroyed remnants of her breakfast. She flushed. "I think so. If the pieces get any smaller they'll be pancake molecules. Let's go."

****r~d****

His room had not changed significantly in the time she'd been gone. The walls were still just as white and sterile. The machines still beeped the same tones and rhythms, and the bench in front of the window was just as uncomfortable. The only thing in the room that had changed was Charlie.

He was awake.

Jasper was waiting in the hallway outside Charlie's room when Bella arrived.

"He's been asking for you," he told her. His face was drawn and he looked tired.

"Really? How long has he been awake?" Bella was surprised at the news. Before she left they told her he had stirred a few times, but he had not regained full consciousness and he definitely had not spoken.

"Woke up sometime yesterday, they think. What time did you leave? Was he still out when you were here?"

"Yeah, he was still asleep when I left. Edward had to be back in Seattle by eight, the show was at nine, and we wanted to have plenty of time to get there in case traffic was bad. So, it was what, about three when you came to pick me up?" She turned to Edward questioningly, and he nodded in reply.

"The nurse said she came in about five and he was conscious. He hadn't called for anyone, he was just sitting there, wide awake."

"Wow."

"Yep."

"Has he said anything? Have you talked to him?"

Jasper shuffled his feet and looked at the floor. "He's sort of...odd, Bella. I came down after they called me last night and when I went in he just sat there for a long time, kind of looking at the wall. I asked him how he was feeling and he turned and looked at me but he didn't say anything. I was about to call the nurse when he said 'I feel different'. I asked him if it was good different or bad different and he told me he didn't really know, he just felt different. I tried to talk to him a few more times but he never responded with more than one or two words, so finally I went home. I haven't been in yet today; I was waiting for you."

"What did his doctor say?" Edward stepped closer behind Bella and rested his hands on her hips as he asked the question.

"He said it was too early to really tell anything. It's good that he's awake, but whether he'll fully recover and how much damage has been done to his liver remains to be seen. He said a lot of it was up to dad. He'll have a better shot if he starts taking better care of himself, but I don't know if he'll actually do that."

"I doubt it." Bella turned and looked at the door. "We might as well go in. You coming?"

She turned the handle and pushed the heavy door open. As she entered the room she heard the drone of the television, a welcome change from the oppressive silence she had experienced earlier.

Charlie turned his head and watched as the three of them entered the room. Bella was the first to speak.

"Hi, dad."

"Bella. Jasper. Edward." Charlie's curt greeting came in a soft voice, rough from disuse. He coughed once.

"Dad."

"Chief Swan."

Charlie reached behind him and pressed a button on the large remote control that lay on the table next to him. The television died with a pop. The room was once again silent.

"How are you feeling, Chief?" Edward's words were forced and awkward, but Bella was thankful for his attempt. She had suspected that her interactions with her father would be challenging, but she never could have predicted this weight that hung in the air, almost like a curtain separating them.

"I feel...I feel different."

"Better, I hope?"

"Different."

With those words, the conversation died.

Bella sat down on the bench in the window. "You have a nice view, dad."

"Mmm-hmm."

Edward and Jasper looked at one another, matching expressions of desperation on both of their faces. Jasper shrugged and sat down in the only chair in the room, and Edward joined Bella on the bench. She felt him find her hand and twine their fingers firmly together.

Charlie noticed the movement. "Got married, did you?"

"Yes, sir." Edward's words were firm.

"Dad, I'm sorry you had to find out in an email, it was just...I...we...wanted you to hear it from us, not from some random gossip."

"I understand."

"I appreciated your response. It was nice." Bella's words were hesitant.

"And that surprised you." It wasn't a question. All three visitors reacted with shocked expressions at Charlie's words.

"Dad, I-"

Charlie interrupted her. "I'm not stupid, Bella. I know I can be a jackass. Hell, I've been a jackass most of your life."

Before Bella could respond, she heard Jasper begin to chuckle. All of them looked over at him. He saw them staring and grinned at his father.

"Old man, I think that might be the truest statement ever to come out of your mouth."

All three waited breathlessly for the inevitable explosion, but none came. Instead, Charlie began to laugh. The sound was hoarse and rough, as if it were coming from a machine badly in need of oil. They watched in amazement as he continued to laugh, and Bella felt giggles bubbling up from her belly. She began to laugh as well, and Edward joined her. Jasper's chuckles turned into guffaws. She looked over at her father to see tears streaming down his face.

Slowly the laughter began to die down and calm settled again over the room. The silence that fell this time was considerably more comfortable than what had filled the room minutes earlier.

"So tell me, Jasper, what did that young doctor tell you about me?"

"He said you've damaged your liver, and whether or not you get better is going to depend mostly on you."

"Hm. I guess I should talk to him myself to see what exactly that means."

"That's probably a good idea, dad."

"You all staying at the house?"

Bella answered. "Esme invited us to stay with them, so we're going to be there for the next few days."

"Makes sense. She's a good woman." Charlie nodded as if to emphasize his words. He addressed his next words to Bella, eyeing her and Edward's linked hands. "How long are you all planning to stay in town?"

"Through Christmas at least. Edward has to be back in Seattle to play on New Year's."

Charlie turned his eyes to Bella's face. "I thought you were supposed to be in London."

"I was. I came home when Jasper told me you were sick."

"When are you going back?"

Edward and Bella exchanged a look. "We're not sure yet, Dad. We'll wait and see how things go."

Charlie watched their exchange, then looked hard at Edward. "Is he taking good care of you?"

Bella glanced at her husband and smiled. "We're taking good care of each other."

They all chatted until Charlie started to seem tired. After saying their goodbyes, they walked out the door. Bella was the last to leave, and just before exiting she heard her father call her name.

"Bella, can you come back for a minute?"

She looked questioningly at Jasper, who shrugged, and then at Edward. "We'll be right out here," he reassured her. She squeezed his hand and then returned to Charlie's bedside.

"What do you need, dad?"

"I need to tell you..." Charlie looked up at her, but then redirected his gaze so that it fell just over her shoulder. "I want you to know that..." He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry about...about a lot of stuff. I've been sorry most every day of my life for the past twenty years or so." His eyes fell to the white blanket covering his lap. "I thought...I thought you should know that."

Bella looked down at the man in the bed, frail and sick and broken, and she felt something lift, something she hadn't even realized she'd been carrying until that moment. She reached down and picked up his pale, thin hand.

"Thanks." She managed a thin smile, squeezed his hand, then turned and walked out of the room and into Edward's waiting arms.

He pulled her close then leaned back and reached up to trace the curve of her cheek.

"You okay?"

She nodded.

"Ready to go?"

She looked back for a moment at the door as it clicked closed behind her and then at the face of her brother. She raised her eyes to meet Edward's, took a deep breath, and smiled.

"I'm ready."

A/N – One chapter left until this journey comes to its end. Thanks so much for reading, reviewing, recommending, and supporting this story. Love to all!


	14. Chapter 14

Twilight is the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

Enjoy!

****r/d****

"Bella? Baby, we're gonna be late! Bella, where are you?"

Bella heard the front door close before she emerged, breathless and flustered, in the doorway to their bedroom.

"Have you seen my other shoe?" she asked before blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face. She held one strappy sandal in front of her and glared at it as if blaming it for its wayward mate.

Edward chuckled. "I might have, actually." He knelt and began feeling under the sofa. After a few moments his hand emerged clutching the missing shoe. "I think it got kicked under there the other night." He grinned and Bella blushed.

"Oh, yeah." Her grin matched his as she took the offered sandal. She braced herself against his shoulder, lifting one foot then the other to put on the shoes. "Where'd you go?"

"Nowhere. Out for a minute. Come on, we're late. I've got a car waiting."

They emerged from the front door of the building and Bella gasped at the vehicle she saw parked at the curb.

"A limo? Edward, this is too much."

"Nothing's too much for my wife. Besides, I thought we'd need the space."

"How much space do two people..." Bella's voice trailed off when the driver opened the door and she caught a glimpse of the passengers inside. She covered her mouth and tears sprang to her eyes.

Edward put a gentle hand on her back and guided her into the car.

"How did you- I thought you all- but you said-"

Esme's laughter filled the car. "Edward wanted to surprise you."

"Were you surprised?" Alice embraced Bella as she asked the question, and Bella nodded.

"We don't want to miss anything else, ever again." The words were spoken in a low voice and silence fell in their wake.

"Daddy." Bella extended her had to her father, who took it in his and squeezed. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too, baby. Me too."

Bella smiled at the chatter around her, but her eyes were a thousand miles away. Edward leaned over so only she could her him.

"Hey, you okay?" Edward asked in a low voice. "Are you mad at me for keeping secrets?"

She shook her head and smiled at him. "Not mad. Just...remembering. Overwhelmed."

"I understand." He wrapped his arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"_I don't want to go back."_

_After the band's New Year's Eve concert, Bella and Edward had returned home for a private celebration. She was snuggled behind him when she spoke, and he turned to face her in the darkness._

"_Are you sure, baby?"_

"_Yes, I'm sure. I don't want to go back. I want to go with you." She wrapped her arms around his bare torso and kissed his chest. "I think I would make an excellent roadie."_

_He pulled back slightly so that he could see her face. "I don't want you to give up your dreams, Bella. It would kill me if someday you regretted this decision."_

"_I'm not giving anything up. The program was good, but outside the novelty of being in London, it really wasn't anything I couldn't have gotten in a dozen other places. Being with you, going on this tour - it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. Even of you go on a hundred tours, this will be the only first one. I want to share that experience with you. If it means putting my degree on hold for a little while, then I'm willing to do that."_

"_Will they let you out of it?"_

"_When I asked before you left they said they would only allow students to leave without penalty for catastrophic family emergency. Charlie's situation might count as that. And if not...if not, I guess I'll figure out a way to pay them back."_

"_Bella, I know you might not like this idea, but if you have to pay for it, I would like to give you the money."_

"_Edward, no. I'll find a way." Bella sat up and propped herself against the headboard, pulling the sheet up over herself. _

"_Bella." Edward sat up as well, but turned so he could face her. He traced her face with his fingers before he spoke. "You're my wife. My stuff is your stuff. My money is your money. I want to take care of you. What's the line from the wedding service? 'With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow.' I meant it, sweetheart."_

_Bella sat up and moved across the bed so that she could straddle his lap. "You, husband," she said, reaching up to weave her fingers through his hair and rub his scalp softly, "are far too good to me. What did I ever do to deserve someone like you?"_

_He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "It wasn't anything you did, my sweet love." He pressed a brief kiss to her lips. "It was who you are." _

_****r/d****_

_Edward didn't notice the hotel room door open. It wasn't until he heard her sigh that he realized Bella had returned. _

"_Edward? I think we have a problem."_

"_What's that?" His voice was distracted._

"_We're not married."_

_Edward's head popped up from the score he had been poring over. She had his full attention now._

"_What?"_

"_We're not married." Bella's face contorted as she fought back tears. _

_Edward stood from where he sat at the small desk in the room and crossed to his wife. He took her hand and pulled her to the armchair in the corner, where he sat before placing her in his lap. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and placed a soft kiss on her forehead before he spoke. _

"_It's okay, baby. Start at the beginning. What makes you think we aren't married?"_

_Bella sniffed and fingered the collar of the white t-shirt Edward wore. "Yesterday afternoon when we got here I noticed there was a social security office down the block from the hotel. I thought that I would go take care of changing my name. I did some research and the websites I read said it would probably take some time, but you said you needed to work on new music today and we were going to be here for a couple of days, so it seemed like the perfect opportunity, you know?"_

_Edward nodded and stroked her hair. "Sounds like a good plan. What happened?"_

"_I went down there this morning. I filled out all the forms and waited in line for what felt like forever, but when I showed them our marriage certificate, they said...they said it was invalid."_

"_Why?"_

_Bella scrubbed her hands over her face before responding. "Apparently it's kind of complicated to get married in England; there's a waiting period and a special visa we were supposed to get."_

"_Oh." Edward twisted his face in frustration._

"_Yeah. Also that sea captain thing - apparently it is a very pervasive urban myth. The lady was way too delighted to tell me that."_

"_Oh, baby. I'm so sorry."_

_Bella had been resting her head on Edward's shoulder as she told her story, but now she pulled back to look in his face._

"_What are we going to do, Edward?"_

_Edward shrugged. "We'll get married."_

"_Just like that, hunh? That simple? 'We'll get married'?"_

"_Bella, we did it once already, did you forget?" He tickled her ribs gently and she giggled and squirmed away from his fingers. _

"_No, I did not forget, mister." She poked him in the chest. _

"_Good. Yes, it's that simple. We'll get a license and we'll get married." He leaned to kiss her lips. "We'll do it today if you want, and then tomorrow you can go change your name, if it's important to you. It's not a big deal, Bella. Try not to get upset."_

_Bella sighed and lay her head back down. "I guess. I just...I hate the idea that we're not really married. I've spent the last four months getting used to the idea of being your wife, and now I'm...not. And...oh my gosh, Edward, there's the whole sex thing too...I know it was really important to you to wait until we were married, and that's shot to hell...no pun intended..."_

"_Bella, sweetheart, stop." Edward lifted his hand and lay two fingers against her lips. "Please, stop. I don't regret anything. We thought we were married. As far as I'm concerned, we still are. This is a silly legal technicality. No one even needs to know, if you don't want to tell them. Unless..." Edward stiffened and abruptly stopped rubbing Bella's back._

"_Unless what, Edward?"_

"_Unless you don't want to be married anymore."_

_Bella sat up straight and looked at his face. "Why on Earth would you say that?"_

"_Well, you don't seem to be enthusiastic about the idea of getting married again, and if you've changed your mind, this would be an easy way out. We were never married, you can walk away, no muss, no fuss, no marriage." Edward shrugged his shoulders. Bella sprang from his lap and spun to face him._

"_Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you listen to me! Did you miss the part where I was devastated that we weren't actually married? Why in the world would you think I want to walk away now? I've spent the last four months riding in a smelly van with five guys and a chick who hates me, living out of a suitcase, eating crappy road food and staying up half the night to haul speakers around just so I can be with you. Why the HELL would you think I'm going to leave you in a random town in California just because some hag in a social security office thought it would be fun to screw up our lives?"_

_Edward looked stunned at Bella's outburst. "Baby, I-"_

"_Oh, no, don't you baby me!" Bella poked him in the center of his chest, causing him to emit a little grunt. "Do you think so little of me? After all of the bullshit we've been through you think this is going to be my breaking point?"_

"_Bella, sweetheart-"_

"_That is the most ridiculous, insulting, insecure thing I've ever heard!"_

"_Honey-"_

"_Enthusiastic? I'm supposed to be enthusiastic?" Bella raised her fingers and made air quotes around her last word. _

_Edward sat silently and gazed at his wife._

"_Well! Don't you have anything to say for yourself?"_

_Edward fought the smile that quirked the corners of his mouth. He shook his head, and Bella narrowed her eyes._

"_Are you laughing at me?" Once again he shook his head, afraid to open his mouth._

_Bella considered him silently before she smiled ruefully. "I guess I did get a little carried away."_

_Edward nodded. "A little."_

"_Do you really think I want to walk away?" Her voice was so small he could barely hear her._

_He stood and reached for her hand, then pulled her back down into his lap. "No, I don't. It was a stupid thing to say. I'm sorry."_

_She leaned her head against him, resting her head in her favorite spot between his neck and shoulder. "So now that we've established that...what exactly are we going to do?"_

"_How's this," he replied. "Mom and Alice are already planning a reception for us at the house. We'll do a little wedding then."_

_Bella pulled back and looked at him. "You, my husband, are a genius. You don't mind waiting that long to be married for real?"_

"_I know." He smirked at her. "And baby, we're already married for real; this one's for the government."_

_****r/d****_

"_So? What did they say?" Bella waited until Edward had pulled the seatbelt across himself and started the ignition before she grabbed his hand. _

_He sighed. "They're taking James back. His hand has recovered well and he can play again."_

_Oh, baby, I'm sorry. Want me to track him down and break his other hand?"_

_Edward chuckled. "I don't think that will be necessary. I figured this would happen - he's been with them from the beginning. I'm honestly surprised I even got to go on tour with them. And it's not all bad news. They're recording another album and planning to use at least three of the pieces I wrote while we were on the road, so there will be some royalties from those. They also want first look at anything I write that would suit them."_

"_That's fantastic!"_

"_I guess." Edward's voice sounded worried. "I should probably call and see about getting my old job back. Mr. Banner said-"_

"_Edward, stop the car."_

"_What? Are you alright?"_

"_I'm fine. Park the car."_

_Mystified at the tone in her voice, Edward pulled the car into the first available spot he saw. After turning the ignition off, he turned to face his wife._

"_Edward, do you want to go back to that job?" Bella examined his face closely._

"_It was a good job."_

"_That's not what I asked. Do you want that job back?"_

"_It's the most responsible choice."_

"_Edward. Do. You. Want. That. Job. Back? Do you want to spend the rest of your life as an underpaid studio musician recording tracks for commercials, or is there something you would rather be doing?"_

"_I have to have a job, Bella."_

_She huffed in frustration. "Also not what I asked. I spent the last six months watching you come to life every night. Not just playing with the band, but playing songs you wrote. Every time you compose something new, it's like watching a light go on. Wouldn't you rather be doing that instead of going backwards?"_

"_It's not exactly a reliable way to make a living, Bella. I have a family to support.'_

_She narrowed her eyes and glared at him. "Are you serious right now, Edward? This isn't nineteen fifty-seven, and I am not the little woman. What if I wanted to support your dream, hunh?"_

"_You still have to finish school, Bella. It's not feasible right now."_

_Bella threw up her hands in frustration. "You are the stubbornest, most infuriating...look, Edward, I have like, three classes left and my thesis to finish. I can get another TA job. I can wait tables. You already said that you have royalty money coming from Garrett, and you have a freaking trust fund! Can you please stop being Ward Cleaver for a minute and think about this? We're young, we don't have kids, we don't need much, now is the perfect time to take a chance and do what you really want to do!"_

_Edward sat in silence long enough that Bella started to get nervous._

"_Do you really think I could make it?"_

"_Yes, I do. But you'll never know unless you try."_

_Edward inhaled deeply through his nose and gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. "Alright," he said finally. "We'll see what happens."_

"_Oooh, I know!" Bella exclaimed. "I'll write novels, and you can compose the music for the movie versions! Or I'll write plays and you can write music for them! We'll be like Rodgers and Hammerstein, but less perky."_

_Edward grinned at his wife. "Whatever you say, sweetheart."_

_****r/d****_

"_Mortarboards are really stupid," she complained, emerging from the bathroom. Edward turned to look at her from where he sat on the sofa flipping channels._

"_I think you look cute," he said, smiling in amusement at her frustration._

"_Cute?" She narrowed her eyes. "Have you seen this thing? Have you seen these sleeves?" She flailed her arms around wildly, causing the long tails on the sleeves of the gown to wave in circles. Edward laughed as he approached her._

"_Those are the best part," he said, raising one eyebrow at her. He used the sleeves to pull her close and wrapped her arms around his waist. He deftly tied the sleeves in a knot behind his back. "See? Now you can't ever get away."_

_She giggled. "I knew all that education was good for something. Somebody call the dean."_

_He leaned his forehead against hers. "I'm really proud of you."_

"_I'm pretty proud of me too." She grinned up at him cheekily._

"_I'm serious." He placed a quick kiss on her lips._

"_I am too." She giggled again. "Don't get too emo on me, Edward. Save some of that for the day I get a job."_

_****r/d****_

_True to her promise, Bella allowed Alice and Esme to plan everything. She had been a little nervous about whether Alice would follow through on her threat to decorate everything in pink sequins, but her worrying proved needless. The Cullens' backyard looked like Alice had bought every flower in the Pacific Northwest. Blooms in every imaginable color appeared everywhere she could see, but instead of being overwhelming or tacky the riotous colors looked like something out of a fantasy garden. Alice stood next to the minister in a soft silver silk dress that flowed gracefully from her swollen belly, and her face shone with joy. Bella blinked back tears and felt a rough hand take hers._

"_Ready?"_

_She nodded and placed her hand on the arm offered to her. _

"_Nice dress."_

_Bella blushed and looked down at the layers of blue fabric. "We thought since you all missed it the first time...Alec brought it with him. I didn't ask how he managed to get it."_

"_You look beautiful." Charlie covered her hand in his and squeezed gently._

"_Dad," she said, smiling into his eyes, "I'm really glad you're here."_

_Charlie smiled back at her before he patted her hand and guided her down the aisle._

_Everything around her blurred. The colors of the flowers, the smiles of the people around her, even the pressure of Charlie's hand on hers blended to become a glowing, joyful haze. The only thing that was absolutely clear was Edward, standing beside his father, his eyes focused on her as she walked towards him. _

_He never took her eyes from hers. He held her gaze while they again spoke vows of love and fidelity and as he slid his grandmother's ring onto her hand. The connection only broke when the priest's gentle words instructed Edward to kiss his bride and she closed her eyes as his lips found hers._

****r/d****

_They were going to be late. Again. _

She promised she was going to be better at being on time. _Edward__'__s__thoughts__were__perhaps__angrier__than__the__occasion__warranted,__but__this__meeting__was__important__for__his__career. __For__both__of__their__careers. __This__was__their__future,__not__some__sorority__reunion._

"_Bella? Bella? Bella!"_

_She'd suggested that they just meet at the restaurant, but he wanted to come home and get her. He wanted to see her, to hold her hand, even if it was just for a few minutes in the car. They had both been so busy lately, and she'd been oddly moody for the past few weeks. He missed her, and he worried at the changes he'd seen in her. _

If tonight goes well, everything will be easier. Unless we're late._ "__Bella! __What__the__hell? __Where__are__you? __We__'__ve__got__to__go!__"_

_His shout was met by silence from a seemingly empty apartment._

_He extracted his phone from his pocket and dialed her number. The phone rang until he heard the sound of her voicemail greeting. He stabbed at the screen and tugged at his hair in frustration. He was on his way back out the door when he heard an odd sound coming from the direction of their bedroom. His eyebrows drew together as he approached the door and pushed it open. What he saw on the other side drove any thoughts of annoyance at his wife from his mind._

_He crossed the room quickly and knelt beside Bella where she lay on the floor. She was in her underwear, and she shivered on the cold hardwood. She let out a hiccuppy sob and jerked violently when he laid his hand on her shoulder._

"_Bella, baby? Sweetheart, are you hurt?" Edward checked her body and didn't see any signs of physical trauma - no bruises, no blood, just his wife lying alone on the floor. He hesitated, unsure if he should try to move her if she had fallen. _

"_Bella, sweetheart, hang on, I'm going to call an ambulance."_

"_No, don't. Please...don't," she gasped, before falling back into a silence punctuated by occasional sobs._

"_Baby, if you're hurt..." Edward fought to keep the rising panic out of his voice._

"_I'm not...just...help me..." She pushed herself up weakly, and in a flash he was at her side. He lifted her into his arms and placed her gently on the bed, then grabbed the blanket that lay across the foot and wrapped it around her trembling shoulders. She drew her legs up into her body, making herself into a tiny ball._

"_Bella, please, please talk to me. You're scaring me. Do I need to take you to the hospital?"_

_She laughed, a harsh, bitter bark unlike any sound he had ever heard her make. "It's too late for that, there's nothing they can do." Her words were followed by another fit of sobs, tears pouring down her face._

"_My God, Bella, now you're really scaring me. Please, baby, tell me what's wrong."_

_She took a few breaths and managed to slow her crying somewhat. She wiped her face on the blanket before she said, "open my top drawer. There's something in the back in a gift bag."_

_He stood to open the drawer she indicated and extracted a brightly colored bag with tufts of tissue paper peeking out of the top. He returned to the bed and sat down facing her._

"_Open it."_

_Mystified, he pulled out the tissue paper to find what looked like a ziplock bag inside. He pulled it out to see that it held..._

"_Bella, is this what I think it is?" He examined the long piece of pink plastic through the bag, his eyes widening when he saw the telltale symbol in the small window on the side._

"_Is this...are you...are we..." Emotions rolled over him like waves in a hurricane. Joy...elation...terror. It wasn't a good time for this. They were both technically unemployed - frantically, desperately working to try and make something of their dreams. Still, his tumultuous brain refused to connect the small plastic device in his hand with his wife's hysteria. _

"_There's more in the bag," she said._

_He looked down and saw a folded piece of paper. He pulled it out and saw a series of grainy black-and-white printed pictures. Even though they were incomprehensible to his untrained eyes, he knew what they were. He reached out a finger and traced over one of the images._

_She made that sound again, the laugh that wasn't. "I was going to give it to you tonight...you know, after...but now it doesn't matter."_

"_Bella?" He reached out a hand and cupped her cheek, feeling how hot her skin was. "Baby, please tell me what's going on."_

"_It's over," she replied, her voice flat. _

"_What...but...what do you mean..."_

"_It's over," she repeated. "No more. Done. Finished." Her voice broke on the last word and she sagged against him as tears overtook her again._

_Edward was still confused, but he lay down behind his wife. He pulled his phone from his pocket and sent a quick message to Alice to please call the restaurant and offer his apologies to the agents they were supposed to meet, then dropped it onto the dresser and wrapped his arms tightly around her trembling body._

_After several minutes he felt her relax and her breathing slowed. She turned to face him. The pain on her tear-ravaged face was almost more than he could take. She looked at him in silence for a moment. When she spoke, her voice shook and he had to strain to hear, even though he was only inches away from her._

"_I took the test a few weeks ago. I didn't really trust it..." her voice broke again, and she took several breaths before she spoke again. "So I made an appointment to make sure. I didn't know they'd do an ultrasound, but after seeing how nervous I was, they offered. I saw her, Edward, moving around on the screen...our little bean." Tears poured down her face onto the pillow but she managed to keep talking. "I wanted to wait, it was going to be a surprise for you, I knew you'd be so excited..." She swallowed. "I came home early today. I wanted to be sure to be ready on time, and I'd been feeling kind of crappy all day; my back was aching and I had a headache. I was getting dressed when I felt this awful pain..." She trailed off and began to cry again. He held her tightly and felt the tears running down his own face, then sobs erupted from his belly as he processed the meaning of her story._

"_Are you sure, Bella? There's no hope?"_

_She shook her head against him. "I don't see how there could be. There was so much blood. I tried to keep going, to get ready, but I just...couldn't..."_

"_Oh, baby."_

_He rolled to his back and pulled her so that she was draped over him. He held her until her body relaxed against him and her breathing slowed enough that he knew she had fallen asleep. It wasn't until the light of dawn began to dance across the ceiling that his own eyes fell closed._

****r/d*****

_There was something she was supposed to do today. She just couldn't remember what it was._

_Her head hurt. The sunlight coming through the windows was too bright._

_She thought briefly about asking Edward, but he was gone. Maybe he was working? She shook her head, trying to clear the fog that kept her from remembering where her husband was. She looked over at the phone that lay on the table next to the bed. She could call him. Maybe he knew what it was she was supposed to do today._

_She tried to reach for the phone, but her arm was so heavy. She managed to touch it, but instead of picking it up she knocked it onto the floor. She squinted at the way the light glinted off the screen where it lay on the floor. She couldn't reach it there._

_It didn't matter. Whatever it was, it didn't matter. She was too tired to do anything anyway. Maybe if Edward came home he would remember. She thought that she probably shouldn't ask him though. Lately when he looked at her he seemed so worried. She would keep her forgetfulness to herself so she didn't upset him. Whatever it was, it didn't matter anyway._

****r/d****

_Edward had woken up regularly in the middle of the night for most of his life. He would lie there and let his mind wander, sometimes thinking about whatever was going on in his life, sometimes thinking of nothing. He loved the quiet. There was a kind of peace he found at three a.m. that was present nowhere else in his life, and he would lie in bed and relish the feeling until he drifted back to sleep._

_Since marrying Bella, his nocturnal awakenings had become even more pleasant. He would watch her as she slept, basking in the sound of her breathing and the joy he felt in being next to her. Sometimes he would rub her back or stroke her hair; sometimes he would whisper words of love and appreciation for her. He never told her about his wee-hours habit, but it was one of his favorite things about married life._

_After Bella lost the baby, things changed. She no longer slept peacefully; instead she was fitful and restless. A few times Edward awoke to find her crying in her sleep. More and more he would wake to find her absent altogether. On those nights he usually found her in the living room watching television, her eyes blank. The first few times he tried to get her to talk, but she refused. Sometimes he would go in and sit next to her, wrapping an arm around her tense body or holding her hand, but more often than not he would just stand in the shadows of the hallway and watch her and pray. During the day she managed to put on a good front, and most people in her life thought she was fine, just a little subdued. It was only Edward who saw how deeply she had fallen into despair, and it frightened him._

_After a lot of pleading and tears on his part she agreed to see a counselor. Shelly Cope was a woman of about fifty with soft eyes and a gentle voice. After the first few sessions she suggested to Edward that he let Bella come alone, saying that she might speak more freely without him in the room. He followed her suggestion, desperate to see his wife free from her paralyzing grief. It took time, but he saw changes emerge. She smiled more. She agreed to go out with their friends and laughed at Emmett's stupid jokes. Her muscles were no longer quite so rigid when he pulled her body to his. _

_Four months after her miscarriage they made love again. Afterwards they held each other tightly, their bodies entwined, and they both cried. That night something shifted. He woke in the early hours to an empty bed again, but this time when he walked into the living room in search of his wife he found her not watching television but typing, her face illuminated by the soft glow of her computer screen. He watched her for a few minutes until she looked up to see him standing in the doorway._

"_You ok?" he asked._

_She didn't smile, but he could see her eyes as she nodded at him. They were no longer dead, but full of emotion._

"_I love you," he said. "I'll be waiting for you when you're ready to come back."_

"_I love you too," she replied._

_He wasn't sure when she returned to bed, but in the morning when he got up to get ready for the day she was there beside him, sleeping more peacefully than he had seen in months._

_It happened again, night after night. He would wake up in the wee hours alone and find her typing in the living room; he would remind her that he loved her and wake with her beside him in the morning._

_Four weeks later he woke in the morning and found her awake, sitting beside him on the bed. She looked exhausted. _

"_Baby, you alright?" he asked, running a fingertip over the dark shadows under her eyes. _

_She smiled at him shyly and he lost his breath at the glow that shone in her tired eyes. She nodded and handed him a thick sheaf of paper._

"_I need you to read this."_

****r/d****

The limo pulled to a smooth stop and the driver opened the door. The passengers spilled out like clowns from a tiny car, laughing and teasing. They calmed slightly at Bella's embarrassed urging and walked in the door of the theater, where they were greeting by an usher.

"Mrs. Cullen, Mr. Cullen," he said, greeting each with a bow. "Right this way." He led them to a cordoned-off section of seats, and they filed in, all joviality overtaken by awe at their surroundings.

As the lights fell, Edward squeezed Bella's hand and leaned over to whisper in words so quiet only she could hear, "We made it, baby."

Bella looked down at the program gripped tightly in her free hand and read the cover page through a haze of tears.

Antiphony: _A__Love__Story__in__Two-Part__Harmony_

Written by Bella Cullen

Music by Edward Cullen

Much later, after the applause and accolades, after a late dinner full of laughter and promises to catch up while everyone was in town, and after hugs and kisses and a few tears, Bella and Edward found themselves alone once again.

"Come look, Edward." He slid an arm around her as he joined her where she gazed out the window. She wrapped both arms around his waist and they stood silently watching as lightening streaked above the New York skyline. She jumped at the loud crack of thunder that followed seconds afterward, and he tightened his arm around her.

"Scared, sweetheart?"

She shook her head where it lay against his shoulder. He dropped a kiss onto her hair. They continued to watch the storm until, without warning, a bolt struck and the city lights before them disappeared. The apartment fell silent. Bella giggled. Edward pulled back and looked down at her face, an indulgent smile on his.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm pretty sure we've been here before."

He looked around, taking in the dark, quiet room. "I think you're right."

"Last time there was a blackout we spent the whole day in your bed. Should I go get the Monopoly?"

Edward laughed and reached out to caress the barely perceptible bulge of her abdomen before he took her hand. "Come on, baby, let's go. Grab the extra sheets. I'll build you a tent."

****r/d****

Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, recommending, and supporting my little story! It's been a lot of fun! This is the last regular chapter, but I have at least one outtake yet to post, so put the story on alert if you are interested.


	15. Redefined Outtake Before the Wedding

Twilight is the property of of Stephenie Meyer.

Thank you to my Twilighted beta, Kherisma

This outtake describes some of the events surrounding Edward and Bella's wedding from Chapter 14. I hope you enjoy!

****r/d****

Three things arrived together on the Cullens' front porch on a sunny Friday afternoon: a distinctive Renaissance-style blue dress, a gentle Anglican vicar, and one Alec Thomas.

Bella and Alice were playing with the huge three-way mirror that had been temporarily installed in the Cullens' guestroom when the door opened and Alec entered.

"Bella my darling," he announced with a flourish, "the fun has arrived!"

"Alec!" Bella shrieked and leapt into his open arms. He lifted her off her feet and twirled her around as she laughed breathlessly. He set her down gently and turned towards Alice with a broad smile.

"This wedding's maid of honor, I presume?" he asked, bowing deeply.

"Why yes, you are correct, good sir." Alice dropped into a curtsey in response to Alec's bow and she let out a surprised squeak when he swept her into a hug as well. After he released her the three of them sat down on the bed to talk.

"Bellsy, I am quite furious with you," Alec said, cocking his eyebrow at her. "Your cheek is unforgivable. You forced me to spend five months tolerating Jane without your charming influence."

"I thought for sure having a room to herself would improve her disposition."

"Well, perhaps a bit. Although...her disposition did improve considerably come March, but not because you moved out...more because of who moved in."

"Whaaaat? They gave her a new roommate?"

"No, she selected one for herself. Do you remember Felix?"

"The big Italian guy? The one who did Coriolanus?"

"The very one. She became much more pleasant thanks to his Italian sausage." Alec waggled his eyebrows, and both girls giggled in response.

"I hate to be nosy-"

"No you don't." Bella cut off Alec's words with a smirk.

"Alright, love, you are correct; I adore being nosy. Did they make you pay for leaving?"

"Nope. I called and explained the whole situation, and they took pity on me."

"Are you ever going back to finish?"

"No, I'm not. I worked it out so that I got some class credit for what I did, so it counts toward my Master's, but I'm not going back. Edward and I agreed that we don't want to be separated for that long again."

Alec's face formed a pretty pout. "I was quite excited at the prospect of you two being in the city so we could play together."

"Sorry, Alec. Can't do it. Although..." she trailed off and exchanged a look with Alice.

"Although what?"

"I was waiting so it would be a surprise, but I guess it can be a surprise now. Edward and I are coming to visit. We're taking a month and going to Europe. We decided to replace some of our memories of last fall with new ones, and since I was in Europe without him..."

"Hooray! I will get to see my Bellsy and her pretty man once again!"

"While I'm in an answering mood, any other nosy questions, little pretty princess?"

"Actually, yes. While the good Father is a lovely man, why on Earth was I accompanied here by an Anglican Vicar? Is clergy a necessary part of American wedding receptions?"

Bella blushed. "You remember our wedding, right?"

"Of course I do, my darling. I was an essential part of the planning committee and your maid of honor, as I remember."

"Well, then you know it was a bit...unorthodox. As it turns out, it was also a bit, well, illegal."

"What?" Alec laughed at Bella's revelation.

"Yep. It turns out that sea captains can't really perform marriages just by virtue of being sea captains; they have to be registered wedding celebrants. Plus, there are all kinds of regulations about who can get married in the UK - you have to have a special visa and there's a waiting period. We found out when I went to change my name. Apparently, we sort of have a common law marriage, and in some states we would be considered married, but Washington doesn't recognize common law marriages, and neither of us really liked the idea of that anyway. So we're getting married again."

"And the good vicar is here to do that honor?"

"Yep." Bella smiled softly. "He's kind of special to both of us, so we emailed and asked if we could fly him here for the ceremony."

Bella's attention was diverted to Alice, who suddenly gasped and laid her hand on her stomach.

"You okay? Bella's voice was concerned, but she relaxed when she saw a bright smile emerge on her sister-in-law's face.

"He moved!" Alive began to bounce up and down in her chair. "I'm sure of it! He moved!"

Bella's grin matched Alice's. "He? You found out already?"

"He, she, it, whatever. I have to go tell Jasper!" Alice bounced up off the bed and headed for the door. Alec and Bella looked at one another in amusement.

"Is she always like that?"

"Always." Bella chuckled.

Alec tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes, as in deep thought. "I like her."

"Me too."

He turned his gaze on her and considered her for a long moment.

"You look happy."

"I am happy." Bella smiled and a very faint blush appeared on her cheeks.

"It suits you. I quite approve. I've missed you, princess."

"I've missed you too."

****r/d****

Mom, stop it. You're being ridiculous."

"Edward, I'm not being ridiculous. I am being perfectly rational. It is bad luck for you to see the bride before the ceremony, and it's tradition!" Esme put her hands on her hips and scowled at her son.

"Mother, we have been married for almost a year. I'm not spending the night apart from Bella because of silly superstitions."

"You haven't really been married...I mean, you have, but..."

Edward laughed. "Yeah Mom, puzzle on that one for a while."

"It is a little...perplexing, isn't it?" Esme sighed. "I suppose you've been living together already, I can't really stop you now."

"Mom, while I love your enthusiasm, you're right, you can't stop us. We were already separated for far too long, I have no intention of sleeping apart from Bella ever again.

"What's that you're saying about me?" The object of their discussion entered the kitchen with Alec trailing close behind.

"Esme, this is my friend Alec." The two shook hands while Bella walked to where Edward stood. He unfolded his arms and slipped one around her shoulders.

"Mom was trying to tell me we had to sleep in separate rooms tonight. I was explaining to her how ridiculous that was."

"Um..." Bella trailed off, her face contorted.

"What?"

"Well...I kind of promised Alice that I would stay with her tonight. We're having some kind of bachelorette final fling slumber party thing."

"Bella, you aren't a bachelorette." Edward huffed in frustration.

"I know, but she was so excited and she felt really left out because of how we got married before, plus I think Jasper-" She cut off the sentence abruptly, closing her mouth tightly and pursing her lips.

"Jasper what?"

"Nothing!" Bella's voice was unnaturally high as she extricated herself from Edward's embrace. "C'mon Alec, let's introduce you to everyone!" She practically sprinted from the kitchen, and Alec followed her, smirking.

Edward looked helplessly at his mother. "I guess you got your way," he said with a sigh,

Esme chuckled. "Son, I think you may have more important things to worry about. If I know Jasper, you're in a lot of trouble."

****r/d****

"What exactly are you planning to do to him?" Bella managed to corner her brother while he was in the backyard cooking burgers for their informal rehearsal dinner.

"Nothing you need to worry about, baby sister," he replied with a laugh. "We'll get him back in plenty of time for the big event tomorrow."

"No strippers."

Jasper acted as if he did not hear her, focusing on turning the patties that lay on the grill in front of him.

"Jas, I know you heard me. Don't make me get Alice."

Jasper grinned at her. "I can't promise anything."

"No strippers, Jasper Swan. I'm serious. You know Edward well enough to know he would be upset if you did that. Then Alice would kill you, Rose would kill Emmett, Ren would kill Jake, and Edward wouldn't have any friends left."

"Alright, alright, I get it. No strippers."

"You promise?"

"I promise. Anything for my little sister the bride...wife...whatever." Jasper grinned, and Bella threw her arms around his waist.

"You're not so bad for an annoying big brother,"

"You're ok yourself...for a pesky little sister."

Bella spent the next couple of hours circulating through the guests at the rehearsal barbeque. There wasn't really anything to rehearse, since the ceremony was to be simple, with only Alice and Jasper acting as matron of honor and best man. The priest had asked to speak with them privately, and so they spent a few minutes with him in Esme and Carlisle's shared office. Bella was nervous; when he asked she thought there might be some problem, but he just asked them some questions about the ceremony, offered a few words of encouragement, and prayed a blessing over them before rejoining the party. By the time things were winding down Bella was simultaneously exhausted and keyed up.

"You about ready to go?" Bella was startled at Alice's question; she had not noticed her friend's approach.

"Sure, just let me say goodbye to Edward." She looked around and spotted him standing on the deck on the back of the house, laughing with Alec. She climbed the stairs toward him and he greeted her with a smile.

"Did you have fun tonight, baby?"

Bella nodded. "Alice asked if I was ready to leave - you okay if I go?"

"Off to your hen party then?" Alec asked.

"Yup."

"Have fun." Edward leaned down and kissed her forehead, then moved his face lower to capture her lips with his. The kiss was gentle and chaste, but it held promise for the day to come. He withdrew after a moment and brushed a lock of hair off her face before standing up straight.

"It should be ok. Hopefully, they won't do anything worse than paint my toenails." She turned to Alec. "Take care of my husband, alright?"

Alec lifted one eyebrow, and then raised his hand in a mock salute. "I'll do my level best."

****r/d****

Edward was jolted awake by the sound of his bedroom door opening. Before he could speak, he felt someone slip behind him into the small bed and familiar, beloved arms slid around his waist.

"Bella? What are you doing here? What time is it?"

"It's a little after two. I snuck out." She giggled. "I love Alice, but I would much rather sleep with you. Plus, since she's been pregnant...she snores."

He rolled over and she snuggled into his chest. "Other than the snoring part, did you have fun?"

"Yeah...it was sort of weird being back in my old bedroom, but we had a good time. They did, in fact, paint my toenails. Fingernails, too." She waggled her fingers in front of Edward's face, and he examined them in the moonlight that poured through the windows.

"Very nice."

"How about you? What did they end up doing with you?"

He pulled away from her slightly and propped himself up on one elbow. "How much did you know?" he asked, looking down at her innocent face.

"A little. I knew they were taking you out, but I made Jasper promise there would be no strippers. He didn't get you a stripper, did he?"

"No, no strippers." Edward laughed darkly.

"So what did you do?"

"We drove to a bar in Port Angeles and had some beer and played pool, then we came back here."

"That's all?"

"Well..." Edward sighed and reached over to turn on the light and threw the bedspread off himself. "I might as well show you now, you're going to see it anyway."

Bella gasped as the lamp illuminated her husband's body.

"What is it?"

"Sharpie. Emmett held me down, the other guys did it."

Bella began examining the markings more closely. There were arrows pointing to various body parts, and connected to each of the arrows there were...

"Directions!" Bella squealed and shrieked with laughter, then quickly covered her mouth.

"Yep. Directions. I tried to tell them that you were already pretty good at handling everything yourself, but that didn't stop them."

"Is it permanent?"

"I took a shower and nothing budged. I think Jasper knows how to get it off, but he wouldn't tell me. You'll notice they didn't mark anywhere that will show tomorrow."

"Considerate." Bella giggled again. "Then again, your suit covers a lot of skin." She began reading the notes in earnest, tracing the arrows with her fingertips. They ranged from the ridiculous -"These get stinky. Wash often." with an arrow pointing to both armpits - to the suggestive. In the middle of his chest were the words "Lick here", with arrows pointing to the nipples on either side. A message on his abdomen read, "for a good time, follow the yellow brick happy trail", and the accompanying arrow traveled in a curving path down through the reddish blond hair on his stomach and pointed down into the hem of his boxer shorts.

"Are there more on the back?"

Edward didn't reply, he just turned over, and Bella beheld even more messages. They were all pretty funny, but she laughed with delight at the one written over his spine.

"What?" Edward asked, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"Jasper left me a message. It says 'at least there were no strippers!'" Bella's laughter was full of delight.

Edward rolled back over with a huff. "I think I might have preferred the strippers."

Bella smiled at him. "Don't be like that, baby. It's funny. Plus..." She traced a finger down the arrow on his abdomen. "Now I know where to find a good time."

****r/d****

"You all are very funny, now tell me how to get it off."

"Wha-" Jasper's eye cracked open at her words, then slammed shut again at the sunlight that filled the room when she opened the curtains. He pulled his pillow over his head and groaned.

Bella knelt on the bed next to him and began to bounce up and down. "Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me! It's my wedding day, you have to tell me. She heard a muffled sound coming from under the pillow, so she yanked it off his face and tossed it across the room. "What was that?"

"I said, it's not your _real_ wedding day. Now go away, after you give me my pillow back."

"Not until you tell me how to get it off."

Jasper smirked. "Get what off?"

"You know what." Bella flopped down to lie next to him, facing him on the bed.

"I know what, but how exactly do _you_ know what? That was our little surprise for you for tonight. Have you been peeking, missy?"

Bella flushed. "I may have snuck back over to Edward's house last night."

Jasper gasped in mock horror. "My little sister sneaking out on the night before her wedding? I must defend your honor! I'll get that dastardly villain!"

Bella giggled at him. "I had to sneak back this morning - your big brother outrage is nothing compared to what Alice would do if she found out I skipped out on the slumbering part of her slumber party.

"True story," Jasper replied, rolling onto his back and gazing at the ceiling. "What time is it anyway?"

"It's about seven-thirty. I figured I would be safe as long as I was back before eight." Bella assumed the same posture as her brother, and looked around. "It's weird to be back in this room."

"Yep."

"Do you ever..." Bella trailed off.

"Do I ever what?"

"Do you wish you could change it? The past, I mean? Our past, all the stuff that happened with Mom and Dad?"

"I don't know. I mean, it sucked, and I wish everyone could have been happier, but it made us who we are."

"Yeah, I guess." Bella sighed. "I wish we could have skipped some of the pain, though.

"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

Bella laughed and the two fell silent again. They lay together for a long moment before Jasper spoke again.

"Alcohol."

"What?"

"Alcohol will take it off. I tested it on myself before we used the pen on Edward."

"Thanks." She turned onto her side and propped her face on her hand. "He was kind of grumpy about it, but I thought it was pretty funny."

He reached up and tweaked her nose. "My gift to you on your wedding day, my baby Bella."

She rolled off the bed and stood up. "I should get back before I fall asleep. See you in a bit?"

"I wouldn't miss it."

****r/d****

She was gone when he woke up, and for a moment he wondered if he had dreamed her appearance in the night, but the smell of her hair on his pillowcase brought him back to reality. He stretched and smiled to himself.

_I'm getting married today. Again._

He closed his eyes and let his mind drift to memories of the "good time" Bella found the previous night. Things were just starting to get interesting when he was startled by the vibrating phone on the nightstand next to him. He picked it up and opened the text message from his bride.

_Alcohol._

He grinned as the phone vibrated again.

_I love you._

He quickly typed a reply, extricated himself from his sheets, located some clothes, then went in search of some alcohol. He thought for a moment about asking Bella to come over and help him out, but decided he would save that for later. Instead he found his mother and asked if she had any alcohol. He didn't explain what he needed, but her barely-contained smirk suggested that she might have an inkling as to the nature of his problem.

A few hours later he was showered, dressed, and mostly ink free. He stood in his bedroom and perused his reflection. He wore a gray morning suit with a vest and a striped cravat in colors to match Bella's dress. When Alice had suggested it he had been hesitant, but now that he was dressed he had to admit it was perfect. He ran a hand through his hair, trying in vain to calm it somewhat, and could not stop the smile that insisted on covering his face.

A knock on door pulled his attention from the image in the mirror, and he turned to see his father enter. Carlisle wore a gray suit as well, although his was in a more modern cut.

"Are you ready, son? It's time."

****r/d****

Thanks so much for reading! This is the last outtake I have planned, but I never know when inspiration will strike. I'm working on something new, so put me on author alert if you want to read more!


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